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OUE  GIELS.  . 

By  DIO  lewis, 

AUTHOR  OF  "FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS  WITH  YOUNG  WOMEN,"  ETC.,  ETC 
13mo,   Cloth,   Si  50. 


The  book  not  only  deserves  to  be  read ;  it  will  be  read,  because  it 
is  full  of  interest,  concerning  itself,  as  it  does,  with  such  matters  as 
girls'  boots  and  shoes ;  how  girls  should  walk ;  low  neck  and  short 
sleeves ;  outrages  upon  the  body ;  stockings  supporters ;  why  are 
women  so  small  ?  idleness  among  girls  ;  sunshine  and  health  j  a  w^ord 
about  baths  ;  what  you  should  eat ;  how  to  manage  a  cold ;  fat  and 
thin  girls,  etc.,  etc. — N.  Y.  Evening  Post. 

Dr.  Dio  Lewis  has  written  a  sensible  and  lively  book.  There  is  not 
a  dull  page  in  it,  and  scarcely  one  that  does  not  convey  some  sound 
instruction.  We  wish  the  book  could  enter  thousands  of  our  homes, 
fashionable  and  unfashionable  ;  for  we  believe  it  contains  suggestions 
and  teaching  of  precisely  the  kind  that  "our  girls"  every  where  need- 
— iV.  Y.  Independent. 

This  really  important  book. — Christian  Union. 

Written  in  Dr.  Lewis's  free  and  lively  style,  and  is  full  of  good 
ideas,  the  fruit  of  long  study  and  experience,  told  in  a  sensible,  prac- 
tical way  that  commends  them  to  every  one  who  reads.  The  whole 
book  is  admirably  sensible. — Boston  Post 

Full  of  practical  and  very  sensible  advice  to  young  women. — 
Episcopalian. 

Dr.  Lewis  is  well  known  as  an  acute  observer,  a  man  of  great  prac- 
tical sagacity  in  sanitary  reform,  and  a  lively  and  brilliant  writer  upon 
medical  subjects. — N.  Y.  Observer. 

We  like  it  exceedingly.  It  says  just  what  ought  to  be  said,  and 
that  in  style  colloquial,  short,  sharp,  and  memorable.  —  Christian 
Advocate. 


2  Our  Girls. 

The  whole  tone  of  the  book  is  pure  and  healthy. — Albany  Express. 

Every  page  shows  him  to  be  in  earnest,  and  thoroughly  alive  to  the 
importance  of  the  subjects  he  discusses.  He  talks  like  one  who  has 
a  solemn  message  to  deliver,  and  who  deems  the  matter  far  more 
essential  than  the  manner.  His  book  is,  therefore,  a  series  of  short, 
earnest  appeals  against  the  unnatural,  foolish,  and  suicidal  customs 
prevailing  in  fashionable  society. — Churchman. 

A  timely  and  most  desirable  book. — Springfield  Union. 

Full  of  spicy,  sharp  things  about  matters  pertaining  to  health  ;  full 
of  good  advice,  which,  if  people  would  but  take  it,  would  soon  change 
the  world  in  some  very  important  respects ;  not  profound  or  system- 
atic, but  still  a  book  with  numberless  good  things  in  it — Liberal 
Christian. 

The  author  writes  with  vigor  and  point,  and  with  occasional  dry 
humor. —  Worcester  Spy. 

Brimful  of  good,  common- sense  hints  regarding  dress,  diet,  recrea- 
tion, and  other  necessary  things  in  the  female  economy. — Boston 
Journal. 

Dr.  Lewis  talks  very  plainly  and  sensibly,  and  makes  very  many 
important  suggestions.  He  does  not  mince  matters  at  all,  but  puts 
every  thing  in  a  straightforward  and,  not  seldom,  homely  way,  per- 
spicuous to  the  dullest  understanding.  His  style  is  lively  and  read- 
able, and  the  book  is  very  entertaining  as  well  as  instructive. — Regis- 
ter, Salem,  Mass. 

One  of  the  most  popular  of  modem  writers  upon  health  and  the 
means  of  its  preservation. — Presbyterian  Banner. 

There  is  hardly  any  thing  that  may  form  a  part  of  .woman's  experi- 
ence that  is  not  touched  upon. — Chicago  Journal. 


Published  by  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  New  York. 

Harper  &  Brothers  will  send  the  above  work  by  mail,  postage 
prepaid,  to  any  part  of  the  United  States,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS 


WITH 


YOUNG    WOMEN", 


AND 


CERTAIN  OTHER  PARTIES. 


By  dig  lewis, 

AUTHOB  OF   "our  GIRLS,"  ETC.,  ETC. 


NEW    YORK: 
HARPER    &    BROTHERS,    PUBLISHERS, 

FRANKLIN      SQUARE. 

1874. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1874,  by 

HARPER   &   BROTHERS, 

In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington. 


INTRODUCTION. 


Our  reading  -  matter  becomes  more  and  more  con- 
densed and  brief.  The  typical  illustration  is  found  in 
the  telegraphic  paragraph.  Our  life  has  become  so 
"complex  and  hurried  tliat  books  and  long  papers  are, 
for  the  most  part,  pushed  aside.  If  one  would  speak 
to  the  public  now,  he  must  speak  briefly,  to  the  point, 
make  his  bow,  and  be  off.  The  long-winded  chaps  have 
gone  out  of  fashion.  I  suppose  if  some  hygienic  re- 
former had  gone  to  Methuselah  he  would  have  found 
a  patient  listener,  even  if  his  story  had  been  a  long  one. 
Not  that  Methuselah  particularly  needed  instructions 
in  regard  to  health  and  longevity,  but  then  you  see  he 
had  plenty  of  time.  He  could  give  ten  or  fifteen  years 
to  any  little  out-of-the-way  matter  without  seriously 
interfering  with  the  general  drift  of  his  personal  history. 

But,  nowadays,  if  you  would  have  the  public  swal- 
low your  health-dose,  you  must  do  it  up  in  small  pills 
and  then  sugar-coat  them. 

This  volume  is  made  up  of  paragraphs,  and  is  mostly 
devoted  to  the  subject  of  health.  I  trust  that  you  will 
find  a  sort  of  good  nature  running  through  every  thing. 


INTEODUCTION. 

And  I  may  say  that  this  is  a  quality  all  too  rare  in 
hygienic  literature.  I  don't  like  to  be  preached  at  my- 
self, and  so  I  never  preach  at  other  folks. 

When  I  toss  our  little  Sammy  up  to  the  ceiling,  and 
catch  him  as  he  comes  down,  he  cries  out,  as  soon  as  he 
can  get  his  breath : 

"  More,  uncle,  more ;  please  do  so  some  more ! " 
Now,  if  my  readers  should  like  this  paragraphic  way 
of  discussing  health  topics,  and  I  should  hear  them  say 
"  do  so  some  more,"  I  should,  within  a  year  or  so,  pub- 
lish another  volume  of  brief  "  Chats  about  Health." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


CHATS  WITH  GIRLS. 

I. 

The  .preacher  will  assure  you  that  love  to  God  and 
to  your  fellow-man  is  all  there  is  of  it.  And  yet 
he  goes  on  preaching  and  exhorting  all  his  life. 

So  I  assure  you  that  the  laws  of  health  are  few  and 
simple,  and  yet  I  have  gone  on  preaching  and  exhorting 
for  thirty  years,  and  shall  keep  it  up  as  long  as  I  live. 

Girls,  the  great  obstacle  in  the  way  of  your  health 
and  happiness  is  what  we  have  been  talking  about  all 
our  lives,  viz.  slavery  to  custom  or  fashion.  To  illus- 
trate it  for  the  thousandth  time,  I  will  relate  a  fact. 

Years  ago  I  sailed  from  ISTew  York  on  board  the 
stanch  old  Cunarder  "Africa,"  bound  for  Liverpool. 
Among  our  passengers  were  some  newly  married 
couples.  One  of  them  was  from  Philadelphia.  The 
bride  was  a  delicate  and  beautiful  girl. 

My  state-room  joined  theirs.  We  were  scarcely  out 
of  the  harbor  before  the  lady  began  to  vomit.  During 
the  entire  voyage  her  sufferings  were  dreadful.  The 
1* 


iT 


10  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ship's  physician  really  became  alarmed.  A  friend  hap- 
pened to  call  me  Doctor  in  the  presence  of  the  young 
husband,  when  he  eagerly  inquired,  "  Are  you  a 
physician  ? " 

"Yes." 

"  Do  see  my  wife,  and  for  mercy's  sake  try  and  save 
her." 

We  did  everything  in  our  power,  but  the  sensitive 
brain  would  not  be  appeased,  and  the  retching  and 
fainting  continued  until  she  was  carried  out  of  the 
ship  at  Liverpool,  more  dead  than  alive. 

Two  months  after  our  landing  I  overheard  this 
beautiful,  brilliant  young  woman  describing  to  a  group 
of  admiring  friends,  in  a  Parisian  hotel,  the  splendors 
of  a  sea- voyage  :  "  O,  it  is  magnificent !  —  the  sea  in 
a  storm,  —  the  wild  mountain-waves  crested  every- 
where with  foam !  0,  the  sea  in  a  storm  is  perfectly 
glorious ! " 

The  poor  child  had  heard  fashionable  people  make 
such  exclamations,  as  she  had  seen  them  wear  absurd 
dress,  as  she  had  heard  them  talk  absurd  nonsense, 
as  she  had  seen  them  walk  and  wiggle  and  giggle  in 
an  unnatural  and  ridiculous  manner.  She,  like  too 
many  girls,  had  aspirations  for  recognition  among  the 
fashionable.  So,  from  her  close  little  state-room,  lying 
flat  on  her  back,  retching  and  vomiting,  fainting  and 
dying,  she  saw  the  "  magnificent,  glorious,  foam-capped 
waves."  ' 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  H 

Ah,  girls,  if  you  only  could  rise  above  this  weak- 
ness, if  you  only  could  think  and  feel,  dress  and  walk, 
speak  and  act,  for  yourselves,  what  an  immense  gain 
in  all  ways  !  How  you  could  help  us  all  into  a 
higher  life  ! 

II. 

Take  the  glass  part  of  a  thermometer  out  of  the 
frame ;  hold  the  bulb  under  your  tongue ;  wait  four 
minutes.  Now  look.  It  is  98°.  That  tells  you  how 
warm  your  blood  is.  Now  hold  it  against  your  foot. 
Don't  be  in  a  hurry ;  give  it  a  chance  to  feel  the 
exact  state.  Down  it  goes  to  65°.  That  tells  you 
how  warm  your  feet  are,  —  33°  between  your  tongue 
and  your  feet. 

Don't  you  know  that  equable  circulation  means 
good  health,  and  that  the  loss  of  it  means  bad  health  ? 
Let  us  see.  You  have  a  headache.  Your  head  is  hot ; 
it  throbs.  Your  feet  are  icicles.  Now  put  your  feet 
in  a  pail  of  hot  water.  In  six  minutes  you  say, 
"  O  mother,  how  good  I  feel !  That  rush  in  my  head 
is  all  gone  !  "  You  have  headache  about  half  the  time  ? 
No  ?  Well,  then,  pain  in  your  side  ?  No  ?  Well,  I 
venture  that  every  day  you  have  some  bad  feeling 
about  the  head  or  neck  or  chest  or  back  ?  Now  let 
me  tell  you  something.  It  is  very  rare  that  a  hot 
fo(3t-bath  will  not  remove  all  those  bad  feelings  for 


12  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  time  being.  What  does  this  mean  ?  Why,  ft 
means  that  there  is  too  much  blood  in  the  head  or 
neck  or  shoulders  or  back,  and  that  there  is  a  lack 
of  it  in  the  feet  and  legs.  A  hot  foot-bath  draws  the 
blood  dowii  below,  and  takes  the  excess  of  blood  from 
the  upper  parts.  That 's  exactly  the  philosophy  of  it. 
Of  course  the  hot  foot-bath  is  a  bad  thing,  but  it 
serves  to  illustrate  the  law. 

Now  let  me  whisper  in  your  ear.  I  will  tell  you 
a  secret.  If,  during  the  damp  and  cold  season,  you 
will  wear  one  or  two  pairs  of  thick  flannels  on  your 
legs,  and  very  thick  woollen  stockings,  and  strong, 
broad-soled  shoes,  you  will  have  aU  the  time  that 
good  flow  of  blood  that  the  hot  foot-bath  gave  you 
for  the  time  being.  This  will  keep  the  blood  from 
crowding  into  the  head  and  upper  parts  of  the  body, 
and  wlU  prevent  those  uncomfortable  feelings. 

What  I  have  been  saying  about  the  legs  is  true 
of  the  arms.  The  extremities,  both  upper  and  lower, 
will,  in  our  climate,  during  the  damp  and  cold  sea- 
son, be  sure  to  get  cold,  and  thus  the  balance  in  the 
circulation  is  lost.  Then  comes  fulness  in  some  organ, 
or  in  the  head  or  neck,  with  heat  or  pain,  or  some 
other  uncomfortable  feeling.  This  can  all  be  prevented 
by  keeping  the  blood  flowing  equably  in  all  parts.  In 
this  climate  we  must  depend  upon  clothing.  Friction 
is  good,   exercise  is  good ;  but  the  main  dependertce 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  13 

is  clothing.  So  you  must,  for  eight  months  of  the 
year  at  least,  dress  your  legs  and  feet  and  arms  with 
very  thick  woollen  garments. 

Just  think  how  women  dress.  About  the  chest, 
the  warmest  part  of  the  body,  they  put  one,  two, 
three,  four  thicknesses  ;  then  comes  a  shawl,  and  then 
thick-padded  furs ;  while  their  legs,  with  one  thick- 
ness of  cotton,  go  paddling  along  under  a  balloon. 
They  go  to  the  family  physician,  and  say,  "  0  doctor, 
my  head  goes  bumpity-bump.  Doctor,  it  seems  as  if 
all  the  blood  in  my  body  is  in  my  head  and  chest." 
"  Well,  madam,  how  about  your  legs  and  feet  ? " 
"0  doctor,  they  are  like  chunks  of  ice." 
"Ah,  madam,  if  you  dress  your  legs  and  feet  so 
that  the  blood  can't  get  down  into  them,  where  can 
it  go  ?  It  can't  go  out  visiting.  It  must  stay  in  the 
body  somewhere ;  and  if  it  can't  go  down  into  the 
legs  and  feet,  it  of  course  goes  into  your  head  and 
chest." 

Girls,  most  of  you  wear  too  much  clothing  about 
your  shoulders,  chest,  back,  and  hips ;  but  there  is  a 
sad  lack  of  it  about  your  legs,  feet,  and  arms. 


III. 

In  a  previous  chat  I  spoke  of  one  feature  of  your 
dress  which,  I  venture  to  say,  must  be  changed  be- 


14  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

fore  you  can  have  a  clear  head,  good  digestion,  and 
a  healthy  liver. 

I  wish  now  to  speak  of  the  dress  of  the  middle  of 
the  body.  Every  one  of  us  lives  in  proportion  to  our 
breathing.  If  we  breathe  strong,  we  live  strong ;  if 
our  breath  is  weak,  our  life  is  weak.  The  quantity 
of  air  we  take  into  our  lungs  is  the  measure  of  our 
life.  Now  go  with  me  to  a  ball-room.  Here  we  are. 
Notice  that  couple  ;  they  are  now  dancing.  Watch 
them.  When  they  stop,  observe  their  breathing.  There, 
he  has  taken  one  deep  breath,  filling  all  the  lower 
part  of  his  lungs,  and  now  his  breathing  is  quiet. 
But  notice  her  breathing.  See  how  the  upper  part 
of  her  chest  works  up  and  down.  Watch  her  ten 
minutes ;  that  panting  and  pumping  will  go  on. 

What  do  you  suppose  is  the  reason  for  this  differ- 
ence ?  Do  you  suppose  the  Creator  made  a  woman's 
lungs  so  deficient  in  size  that  she  has  to  work  that 
way  to  get  her  breath  ?  Among  young  children  there 
is  no  difference  in  the  breathing  of  boys  and  girls. 
If  we  visit  a  farm  where  persons  of  both  sexes  are 
engaged  in  out-door  labor,  with  the  same  freedom  of 
dress,  we  shaU  not  find  the  women  breathing  in  that 
peculiar  way. 

No ;  the  working  and  pumping  of  that  chest  are 
owing  to  her  dress.  The  lower  part  of  the  lungs  is 
the  large  part.     There  is  where  most  of  the  breathing 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  15 

should  be  done.  There  is  where  the  man  does  most 
of  his  breathing.  But  she  has  so  squeezed  and  con- 
tracted the  lower  part  of  her  lungs  that  very  little 
breath  can  get  down  there,  so  that  the  small  upper 
end  of  the  lungs  is  compelled  to  do  most  of  her 
breathing.  It  is  that  little  upper  end  which  is  work- 
ing away  so  hard  under  her  ribs  now.  When  a  lady 
dances,  runs,  or  goes  up  stairs,  she  suffers  thumping 
of  the  heart  and  labored  breathing,  not  because  the 
original  constitution  of  her  breathing  apparatus  was 
faulty,  but  because  she  so  compresses  the  lower,  larger 
part  of  her  lungs  that  she  is  like  a  person  who  has 
bat  a  single  lung  to  breathe  with.  There  is  a  lack  of 
breathing-room,  and  of  course  the  breathing  is  labored. 
With  knife  on  corset-string,  every  woman  should  cry 
out,  "  Give  me  liberty  or  give  me  death  ! " 

Perfect  freedom  for  lungs,  heart,  liver,  and  stomach 
is  indispensable  to  good  respiration,  circulation,  and 
digestion.  Without  such  freedom,  living  is  not  living, 
but  dying. 

IV. 

Girls,  I  will,  if  you  please,  turn  aside  from  the  con- 
versation about  dress,  and  tell  you  of  a  letter  I  have 
just  received  from  a  bright  young  lady  who  resides  in 
a  small  city  in  Central  New  York.  She  says :  "  What 
can  I  do  ?     I  am  tired  to  death,  and  perfectly  disgusted 


16  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

with  waiting  for  dinner  and  waiting  for  supper  and 
then  waiting  for  bedtime ! " 

In  my  answer  I  told  her,  first,  what  not  to  do. 
She  must  not  do  any  wonderful  thing.  She  must 
not  astonish  the  world.  She  must  not  attempt  a 
great  book  or  a  grand  poem.  I  particularly  implored 
her  not  to  enter  the  field  of  dramatic  poetry,  and  on 
no  account  to  challenge  the  world's  admiration  of 
Homer  by  the  production  of  a  superlative  epic;  but 
I  suggested  that  she  should  begin  on  her  little 
brother's  dirty  face,  and  that  she  might  try  large  and 
repeated  doses  of  tenderness  and  help  on  her  invalid 
mother.  Then  there  were  the  poor  and  sick  of  the 
neighborhood.  I  said  to  her,  "  My  dear  Clara,  if  none 
of  these  services  suit  you,  there  must  be  twenty  kinds 
of  business  carried  on  within  sight  of  your  home 
which  are  waiting  and  sufiering  for  quick  and  willing 
hands.  Of  course,  there  are  prejudices  in  the  way, 
but  what  does  a  brave  girl  care  for  prejudices  ? " 

There  are  thousands  of  our  girls  who  sit  down, 
uncombed,  in  the  midst  of  neglected  duties,  and,  turn- 
ing their  eyes  up  toward  the  cobwebs  on  the  ceiling, 
^h  and  dream,  and  dream  and  sigh.  Listen,  and 
you  will  hear  one  of  them  exclaim,  in  a  languid  voice, 
"O  this  miserable,  stupid,  humdrum  world!  0  dear 
me !  I  wish  I  was  dead !  Here  I  am,  crawling 
along,  more  dead  than  alive.  0,  what  is  the  use  of 
living?" 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  17 

Just  here  the  weary  mother  calls  from  below, 
"  Clara,  Clara  dear,  do  come  down  and  help  wash  the 
dishes  ! " 

Clara  says,  "  Dighes !  dishes  !  What  do  I  care  for 
dishes  ?  I  hope  I  have  a  soul  above  dishes  !  This 
miserable,  contemptible  world  !  Dishes  !  —  washing 
dishes  !  —  that 's  pretty  business,  ennobling  occupa- 
tion ! " 

How  prone  we  all  are  to  exaggerate  the  without 
and  belittle  the  within !  After  our  necessities  are 
supplied,  work  has  no  other  legitimate  use  than  the 
exercise  of  our  faculties ;  and  that  which  gives  the 
whole  being  the  most  perfect  and  harmonious  play  is 
best  for  us.  I  need  hardly  add  that  conspicuous  posi- 
tions and  wonderful  achievements  are  not  favorable  to 
healthy  and  harmonious  development. 


How   TO    OBTAIN   THE  "  BeAUTY-SlEEP."  —  YoU   must 

retire  at  exactly  nine  o'clock,  and  rise  before  six.  If 
you  rub  your  skin  hard  with  a  rough  towel  and  drink 
a  tumbler  of  cold  water  before  retiring,  sleep  in  a  well- 
ventilated  room,  and  take  a  hand-bath  on  rising,  the 
nine  hours  in  bed  which  I  have  named  will  give  you 
the  famous  "  beauty-sleep." 


^ 


18  ■     FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

/ 

A  MODEBN  SALE. 

"  Did  you  notice  that  beautiful,  refined  young  woman 
who  just  parsed  us  with  that  coarse  fellow  ? "  I  asked 
a  friend  the  other  day.  "  Could  you  believe  that  she 
is  his  wife  ? " 

"  It  would  seem  impossible,"  said  the  lady  with  whom 
I  happened  to  be  walking.     "  How  did  it  happen  ? " 

"  Happen  ?  It  did  n't  happen  at  all.  It  came  of  her 
necessities.  If  she  could  have  chosen  between  being 
tied  to  that  beast  and  living  unmarried  with  adequate 
means  of  support,  she  would  never  have  consented  to 
unite  herself  to  such  a  brutal  fellow.  But  what  was 
she  to  do  ?  No  other  person  came  to  ask  her.  She 
was  already  more  tlian  twenty-five  years  of  age,  and 
with  no  means  of  support.  It  cost  her  a  good  many 
tears  and  shudders,  for  she  had  a  strong,  womanly  sense 
of  cleanliness  and  purity ;  but  her  father  was  getting 
old,  and  she  knew  that  he  could  not  support  her  much 
longer,  so  she  shut  her  eyes  and  surrendered  lierself. 
If  she  could  have  been  brought  up  to  some  remunerative 
occupation,  she  would  not  have  been  even  tempted  to 
such  a  shameful  sacrifice.  There  are  thousands  such. 
Margaret  Fuller  said :  '  That  a  woman  may  give  her 
hand  with  grace  and  dignity,  she  must  be  able  to  stand 
alone.'" 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  19 


DO  YOU  THINK  IT  FAIR? 

I  KNOW  a  young  man,  a  noble  fellow,  who  carries  on 
a  successful  manufacturing  business.  Although  pos- 
sessed of  an  abundant  competence,  he  devotes  himself 
with  untiring  assiduity  to  the  interests  of  his  factory 
ten  hours  every  day.  His  eyes  and  hands  are  every- 
where. HaK  a  year  ago  he  married  a  beautiful,  ac- 
complished girl,  who  is  said  to  speak  four  of  the  conti- 
nental languages  with  fluency,  while  she  touches  the 
keys  with  infinite  skill.  Four  months  ago  they  began 
housekeeping.  A  week  since  they  gave  it  up  in  utter 
disgust.  Three  servants  figured  conspicuously  in  their 
griefs.  The  coffee  was  execrable,  the  steak  abominable, 
the  cruet-stand  and  silver  not  fit  to  be  seen,  and  the 
whole  house  in  confusion.  The  husband  bore  it  as  long 
as  pride  and  patience  could  endure,  and  then,  sacrificing 
everything  at  auction,  returned  to  boarding,  resolved 
never  to  suffer  the  miseries  of  housekeeping  again. 
I  was  never  more  indignant  than  when  I  heard  of  it. 
If  that  beautiful  bride  had  learned  one  less  language, 
and  devoted  the  year  to  the  mysteries  of  housekeeping, 
she  might  have  made  my  friend's  home  a  paradise. 
Suppose  her  husband's  management  of  his  business  had 
been  like  her  management  of  the  house,  what  would 
have  become  of  them  ?     I  don't  think  the  match  a  fair 


20  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

one.  On  one  side  it  was  a  cheat.  A  young  lady  of 
the  same  ornamental  class,  in  discussing  the  case,  ex- 
claimed, "  She  did  not  agree  in  the  marriage  contract  to 
play  the  part  of  a  household  drudge ! "  Did  the  hus- 
band agree  to  play  the  part  of  a  factory  drudge  ? 


Skating  and  Eixks.  —  Skating  is  a  fine  exercise, 
but  does  not  hit  the  weak  place  in  our  people.  Our 
girls  have  strong  legs,  but  weak,  thin  arms  and  chests. 
Skating  gives  the  legs  more  exercise,  but  may  be  done, 
and  done  very  handsomely,  with  folded  arms.  The 
change  from  furnace-heated  houses  to  the  bleak  lake  or 
pond  has  often  proved  very  mischievous.  The  rink 
lighted  with  gas,  the  ice  covered  with  skaters  of  both 
sexes  in  pretty  costumes,  and  the  air  filled  with  music, 
makes  an  enchanting  scene.  I  like  to  spend  an  hour 
there.  But  it  is  a  dangerous  place.  The  air  is  like 
that  of  an  ice-house,  and  gives  a  great  many  dangerous 
colds.  Einks  will  soon  go  out  of  fashion.  Quite  a 
number  of  them,  and  some  of  the  largest  and  best, 
have  already  been  discontinued.  I  have  personally 
known  ten  cases,  at  least,  of  severe  disease  which 
originated  in  our  Boston  rink. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  21 


CHAT  WITH  THE  BOYS. 

Just  before  the  final  dismissal,  the  chairman  of  our 
school- committee  made  a  little  speech  to  the  boys. 
It  was  the  same  "  few  remarks "  heard  on  all  such 
occasions.  Of  course,  he  told  them  that  this  is  a  free 
country,  that  here  there  is  no  king,  that  we  are  all 
sovereigns,  that  every  boy  in  America  has  a  chance 
at  the  Presidency,  etc.,  etc.  He  alluded  to  the  Fourth 
of  July,  the  Star-Spangled  Banner,  and  the  American 
eagle.  But  his  special  point  was  the  glorious  opening 
for  young  America.  There  was  the  office  of  Governor, 
if  one  was  disposed  to  aim  rather  low ;  and  if  any 
unfortunate  boy  happened  to  miss  being  President  or 
Governor  by  some  inexplicable  accident,  he  could  then 
fall  back  on  Congress. 

The  speech  was  full  of  a  kind  of  nonsense  and 
poison  which  is  too  common,  and  which  we  wish 
might  be  left  out  of  speeches  to  boys. 

One  of  our  best  educators,  in  making  an  address  to 
another  school,  said  something  which  it  was  a  genuine 
pleasure  to  hear.  His  "  few  remarks  "  were  about  the 
following :  "  Boys,  you  are  fitting  yourselves  here  for 
the  duties  of  life.  You  should  cultivate  the  plain, 
substantial  branches,  because  most  of  you  will  pursue 
plain,  substantial  occupations.     Some  of  you  will  have 


22  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

to  bear  the  trials,  vexations,  and  disappointments  of 
political  and  professional  life,  but  the  great  mass  of 
you  will,  I  trust,  enjoy  the  health  and  independence 
of  carpenters,  blacksmiths,  and  other  skilled  laborers. 
These  are  our  truly  independent  citizens.  You  never 
catch  them  currying  favors  or  seeking  influence.  They 
stand  on  their  own  two  feet,  and  with  their  own  arms 
command  the  respect  and  support  which,  from  this 
time  on,  must,  in  America,  be  heartily  conceded  to  all 
the  useful  industries." 

Of  all  the  men  with  whom  we  deal  none  are  so 
strong,  seK-contained,  and  independent  as  "skilled 
laborers."  They  have  everything  pretty  much  their 
own  way.  With  a  few  exceptions,  our  doctors  and 
lawyers  are  poor  and  hard-pushed.  It  is  distressing 
to  be  called  upon  to  pay  rent  and  grocery-bills,  and 
then  sit  down  with  your  small  ledger  and  try  to  pick 
out  the  patrons  from  whom  you  can  urge  payment 
without  loss  of  business.  It  is  so  humiliating  to  be 
obliged  to  maintain  a  certain  style,  on  account  of  your 
being  a  professional  man,  when  you  know  you  can't 
afford  it,  and  when  you  are  obliged  to  turn  away  the 
importimate  tradesman  or  market-man  with  a  "  Can't 
pay  you  now ;   you  must  call  again." 

A  good  machinist  is  a  prince  among  men.  I  have 
the  honor  to  know  two  wealthy  young  men  in  an 
American  city,  who  are  learning  the  business  of  the 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  23 

machinist.  They  are  learning  that  business  because 
they  know  that  every  man  must  have  some  regular 
occupation,  and  they  are  disgusted  with  the  mad  rush 
into  the  professions.  I  reckon  it  one  of  the  truest 
honors  of  my  life  that  I  enjoy  the  intimate  friendship 
,of  those  young  men. 


A  MINUTE'S  CHAT  WITH  YOUNG  MEN. 

Observe  that  pale  young  fellow  crossing  the  street. 
You  see  a  good  many  of  that  kind  just  now.  Some 
folk  say  it  is  the  climate.  The  truth  is  that  the  climate 
of  America,  with  a  fair  chance,  produces  not  only  the 
best  complexion,  but  the  best  health  in  the  world. 

Did  you  notice  the  thing  he  was  carrying  in  his 
mouth  ?  Well,  it  is  that  meerschaum  which  is  doing 
the  business  for  him.  It  is  busy  with  three  millions 
of  our  men.  Let  us  study  one  of  these  meerschaum- 
suckers.  We  will  take  a  young  man.  He  shall  have 
brains,  money,  and  plenty  of  time  for  sucking.  Pale, 
nervous,  irritable,  thin  in  chest  and  stomach,  weak  in 
muscle,  he  is  fast  losing  his  power  of  thought  and 
application.  Let  us  get  near  enough  to  him  to  smell 
of  him !  Even  the  beast  of  prey  will  not  touch  the 
corpse  of  a  soldier  saturated  with  the  vile  poison. 
Nice  bedfellow  he  is  for  a  sweet,  pure  companion  (I 
mean  the  man,  not  the  beast  of  prey). 


24  FIVE-MINUTB  CHATS. 

Chewing  is  the  nastiest  mode,  snuffing  ruins  the 
voice,  but  smoking,  among  those  who  have  time  to  be 
thorough,  is  most  destructive. 

Young  K.  graduated  at  Harvard  (no  devotee  of  the 
weed  has  ever  graduated  with  the  highest  honors  at 
that  institution),  and  soon  after  consulted  his  physi- 
cian with  reference  to  his  pale  face,  emaciation,  indi- 
gestion, and  low  spirits.  He  weighed  but  one  hundred 
and  eight. 

"  Stop  smoking ! "  was  the  prescription.  In  four 
months  he  had  increased  twenty-eight  pounds,  had 
become  clear  and  healthy  in  skin,  his  digestion  all 
right,  and  his  spirits  restored.  One  or  two  millions 
of  our  young  and  middle-aged  men  are  in  a  similar 
condition,  and  would  be  restored  to  health  and  spirits 
by  the  same  prescription.  On  the  whole,  the  cigar  is 
worse  than  the  pipe. 

A  Hint  to  Young  Men.  —  Nothing  in  the  long  run 
can  be  more  unsatisfactory  in  your  lady  friend  than 
mere  good  looks.  Unless  she  possesses  something  more, 
her  fair  face  is  likely  to  become  unfair  a  little  after 
thirty.  Then  the  disappointment  to  you  will  be  com- 
plete, —  I  mean  if  your  investment  is  made  in  a  stock 
of  "good  looks."  Better  a  thousand  times  that  your 
choice  should  be  a  woman  with  a  broken  nose,  but  with 
a  head  full  of  common-sense  and  a  heart  full  of  good 
things. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  25 


THE  MILITARY  DRILL. 

We  are  dying  for  physical  culture.  It  is  the  Ameri- 
can want.  The  people  ctemand  of  the  schools  provision 
for  this  want.  A  thousand  schools  have  replied.  They 
offer  the  military  drill.  The  great  passion  of  the  hour 
favors  this  educational  response. 

The  military  spirit  should  not  be  deprecated.  We 
must  give  up  our  liberties,  or  become  a  nation  of  sol- 
diers. But,  as  a  means  of  physical  education,  the 
manual  of  arms  is  singularly  defective.  I  have  seen 
no  system  of  children's  calisthenics  which  does  not 
embrace  a  better  combination  of  movements.  The 
motions  with  the  musket  are  almost  exclusively  of  the 
arms  ;  and  they  have  little  reach,  breadth,  or  variety. 

Indeed,  it  is  surprising  that  the  idea  of  physical  edu- 
cation should  have  occurred  to  any  one  in  connection 
with  the  ordinary  military  drill.  All  physical  training 
should  be  mainly  directed  to  the  upper  half  of  the 
body.  It  is  there  our  American  defects  are  found. 
The  drill  brings  into  play  mainly  the  lower  half  of  the 
body,  which  is  already  comparatively  strong.  It  is  not 
a  little  more  walking  we  need,  but  a  development  of 
the  shoulders  and  chest.  And  even  here  it  is  not  six 
simple,  limited  motions  of  the  forearm  and  arm  which 
will  suffice,  but  a  hundred  free,  broad,  vigorous  exercises 

2 


26  FIVE-MINVTE  CHATS. 

of  the  muscles  of  the  hack,  neck,  chest,  shoulders,  and 
arms.  In  one  word,  the  manual  of  arms  is  quite  de- 
ficient in  the  indispensable  features  of  a  system  of 
physical  training  adapted  to  a  weak-chested  people. 
Even  the  soldier,  who  may  practise  the  drill  several 
hours  daily,  still  needs  gymnastic  exercises.  The  Eng- 
lish government,  fully  appreciating  this,  has  recently 
issued  an  order  introducing  thorough  gymnastic  training 
into  its  entire  armies,  both  at  home  and  abroad.  The 
school  that  announces  among  its  advantages  "  Physical 
Training  in  that  most  complete  of  all  means,  the 
Manual  of  Arms,"  has  no  physiologist  in  its  board  of 
managers. 

I  take  the  liberty  to  suggest  another  objection  to 
the  introduction  of  the  military  drill  into  our  schools. 
Girls  are  disinclined  to  exercise.  We  shall  never  reach 
satisfactory  results  in  their  physical  development  while 
we  deny  them  the  presence  and  participation  of  the 
more  vigorous  magnetic  boys.  A  gymnasium  with  the 
sexes  separated  is  about  as  attractive  and  inspiring  as 
a  ball-room  with  men  alone  or  women  alone.  If  the 
military  drill  be  introduced  for  the  boys,  the  girls  will 
be  sure  to  fail  in  reaching  their  much-needed  physical 
training. 

In  the  best  school  within  my  acquaintance  each  desk 
is  occupied  by  one  pupil  of  either  sex,  and  the  teacher 
reports  all  difficulties  of  discipline  at  ati  end. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  27 


THE  SHAPE  OF  OUR  BODIES. 

Symmetry  is  one  of  the  conditions  of  good  health. 
God  knows  the  best  form.  He  created  man  upright  in 
his  own  image.  The  vital  organs  in  the  chest  and  ab- 
domen are  fitted  to  an  erect  spine.  If  the  upper  portion 
of  the  spine  bends  forward,  as  in  drooping  shoulders, 
not  only  is  the  great  nerve-marrow  of  the  spine  itself 
distorted  and  its  circulation  crippled,  —  which  is  a 
serious  matter,  resulting  in  certain  common  affections, 
—  but  the  lungs,  heart,  liver,  and  stomach  lose  their 
natural  place,  and  perform  all  their  duties  disadvan- 
tageously.  A  very  large  proportion  of  our  many 
affections  of  these  vital  organs  take  their  rise  in  such 
displacement. 

What  shall  be  done  ? 

1.  Improve  the  desks  in  our  schools,  so  that,  instead 
of  compelling  our  young  to  sit  for  hours  eveiy  day  in  a 
stooping  position,  they  should  be  compelled  to  sit  erect, 
with  head  and  shoulders  drawn  well  back.  This  is 
very  easily  accomplished.  Such  a  change  in  our  school 
furniture  would  prove  a  priceless  national  blessing. 

2.  Eemove  every  ounce  of  pressure  from  the  waist. 
Pants  worn  without  suspenders  and  drawn  close  about 
the  body,  skirts  or  dresses  pressing  at  the  waist,  must 
produce  round  shoulders  ;  for  when  the  organs  of  the 


28  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

abdomen  are  pushed  downward,  the  shoulders  must 
droop  in  order  to  maintain  the  relations  between  the 
thoracic  and  abdominal  viscera. 

3.  The  back  legs  of  our  chairs  must  be  sawn  off  two 
inches  shorter  than  the  front  ones.  The  front  edge  of 
the  seat  must  not  be  more  than  fourteen  inches  high  for 
women,  and  sixteen  for  men.  The  chair-back  is  like- 
wise unphysiologicaL  The  part  which  meets  the  small 
of  the  back  should  project  farthest  forward.  Instead 
of  this,  at  that  point  there  is  generally  a  hollow.  This 
arrangement  wUl  immediately  relieve  the  back  while 
sitting,  and  secure  a  good  position  of  the  shoulders. 

4  The  habit  of  walking  erect  with  the  air  of  a 
soldier  must  be  generally  cultivated. 

5.   Gymnastic  culture  of  the  shoulders. 


Peecocious  Children.  —  Is  that  your  son,  —  that 
one  with  the  big  head,  bright  eyes,  and  small  chest  ?  Ah ! 
and  so  he  's  the  one  that  took  the  first  prize  at  the 
high  school  ?  No  doubt  you  expect  great  things  from 
him.  But  let  me  tell  you  confidentially  that  you  had 
better  take  him  out  of  school  and  send  him  to  a  farm 
for  a  couple  of  years.  If  you  don't,  when  he  is  forty 
years  old  he  wUl  be  somebody's  clerk,  or  a  third-rate 
professional  man,  knowing  the  books,  it  may  be,  but 
lacking  the  force  to  achieve  success. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  29 


CHAT  WITH  OLD  PEOPLE. 

No  one  can  be  happy  at  rest  unless  he  is  fatigued. 
When  he  is  rested,  he  becomes  unhappy  without  occu- 
pation. Except  in  cases  of  sickness,  this  law  is  general. 
We  suppose  "that  among  civilized  human  beings  it  is 
universal.  The  necessity  for  occupation  is  especially 
pressing  upon  those  who  for  many  years  have  enjoyed 
an  active,  vigorous  play  of  their  faculties.  Deprive  such 
persons  of  the  accustomed  stimulus,  take  away  the 
objects  on  which  their  faculties  have  been  at  work,  and 
they  are  wretched.  Let  us  give  an  illustration  from 
actual  life.  Mr.  H.  had  been  engaged  in  a  wholesale 
dry-goods  house  nearly  forty  years.  He  was  now 
seventy,  and  thought  it  time  to  retire.  His  friends 
all  said  that  the  deacon  ought  to  retire ;  it  was  high 
time.  He  felt  of  his  knees  and  back,  found  he  was  not 
the  man  he  used  to  be ;  in  fact,  he  was  getting  to  be  an 
old  man,  and  he  would  retire  just  as  soon  as  he  could 
wind  up.  His  friend  E.,  the  real-estate  agent,  was 
informed  of  the  situation,  and  commissioned  to  look 
up  an  estate  out  of  town. 

The  following  spring  the  interests  in  the  city  were 
sold  to  the  younger  partners,  the  deacon  shook  hands 
all  around,  promised  to  look  in  upon  them  as  often  as 
he  was  in  town ;  but  he  had  been  at  it  forty  years,  had 


30  FIVE-MINUTE  GHATS. 

got  enough  of  it ;  in  fact,  had  done  his  part,  and  pre- 
sumed he  should  not  be  in  town  three  times  a  year. 

Let  us  look  in  upon  him  at  his  handsome  country 
house.  "  Well,  my  dear,"  he  says  to  his  wife,  "  how  do 
you  like  this  ?  I  fancy  this  will  give  us  about  as 
pleasant  an  evening  to  our  life  as  we  could  wish. 
And,  if  anybody  deserves  it,  I  think  I  do.  Forty 
years  I  have  been  at  it  in  that  great  store-prison,  and 
I  think  it  is  about  time  I  rested,  if  I  am  ever  going  to 
rest  this  side  of  the  grave." 

One  year  after,  we  drop  in  again  and  listen.  The 
deacon  is  pacing  up  and  down  his  drawing-room,  and 
his  frightened  wife  sits  in  the  corner  listening  to  his 
ravings.  "  I  can't  digest  even  gruel ;  I  can't  digest 
anything  ;  I  can't  eat ;  I  can't  sleep ;  I  can't  Hve.  In 
the  name  of  common-sense,  what  did  I  ever  come  out 
here  for  ?  Farming  !  Pretty  business  for  an  old  dry- 
goods  merchant !  O  yes,  of  course,  the  doctor  says  his 
miserable  drugs  will  help  me.  But  I  tell  you,  wife, 
that  nothing  will  help  me  but  going  back  to  the  city. 
You  might  as  well  ask  a  musician,  after  playing  his 
fiddle  forty  years,  to  become  a  blacksmith  and  be 
happy.  You  might  as  well  ask  a  man  who  has  been 
at  work  upon  a  farm  forty  years  to  become  a  dry-goods 
merchant,  as  to  ask  me  to  leave  my  business  in  town 
and  come  out  here  to  raise  beans.  "Wile,  I  must  go 
back  or  go  crazy  ! " 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  31 

Retiring  from  business,  common  and  popular  as  it  is, 
is  a  great  humbug.  No  man  should  retire  from  busi- 
ness until  he  retires  to  his  grave.  When  his  faculties 
become  slow  and  dull  from  age,  he  should  reduce  the 
number  of  hours  in  his  daily  work,  —  reduce  them  just 
as  his  strength  declines  ;  but  in  no  case  should  he 
change  his  occupation  or  drop  it  unless  disease  actually 
compels  him.  He  may  purchase  an  estate  in  the 
country,  to  which  he  retires  at  an  early  hour  in  the 
afternoon,  and  he  may  postpone  his  morning  arrival 
till  two  or  three  hours  after  the  younger  people  have 
begun,  but  he  must  not  quit  or  make  a  radical  change. 
A  man  would  have  to  go  far  to  find  a  thousand  homes 
in  which  there  is  so  little  happiness  and  so  much 
wretchedness  as  in  a  thousand  of  those  Hudson  Eiver 
palaces  occupied  by  New  York  retired  merchants. 

A  friend  of  ours  in  New  York  has  a  list  of  the  mer- 
chants of  that  city  who  have  committed  suicide  after 
retiring.  We  intend  to  publish  that  list  some  time, 
but  for  the  present  we  will  only  say  that  we  know  of 
nothing  more  sure  to  lead  to  dyspepsia,  insanity,  and 
suicide  than  retiring  from  business.  And  besides  the 
great  injury  to  the  man  himself,  what  a  selfish  thing 
to  withdraw  his  trained,  successful  faculties  from  the 
great  battle  of  life  ! 


All  who  start  in  life  with  good  constitutions  have 
the  elements  of  old  age  within  them. 


32  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


FEEBLE  CrRCULATION. 

An  old  person  has  feeble  circulation  in  the  feet  and 
legs.  Nothing  contributes  more  to  relieve  the  diffi- 
culty in  breathing,  and  the  chronic  cough  and  other 
troubles  about  the  head  and  chest,  so  common  among 
all  people,  than  keeping  the  feet  and  legs  warm. 

Mr.  S.,  a  bank-oflficer,  had  been  sitting  in  a  bank 
nearly  fifty  years.  He  came  for  some  advice  about 
short  breath,  wheezing,  and  cough. 

"  Your  feet  and  legs  are  very  cold." 

"  Yes ;  but  how  did  you  know  it  ? " 

"By  these  troubles  about  your  throat  and  lungs. 
There  is  congestion,  —  too  much  blood  there.  If  the 
legs  and  feet  were  warm,  if  they  had  their  share  of  the 
blood,  this  congestion  about  the  upper  parts  would 
cease,  and  this  short  breath,  wheezing,  and  cough  would 
be  relieved  at  once." 

"  How  shall  I  make  my  legs  and  feet  warm  ?  I  wear 
as  much  clothing  about  my  lower  extremities  as  I  ever 
did,  and  yet  they  are  like  icicles." 

"I  will  teU  you  a  secret:  An  old  man  with  low 
vitality  must  have  two,  three,  or  four  times  as  much 
dress  about  the  legs  and  feet  as  a  young  man  with  high 
vitality.  Now,  you  must  put  on  two  pair  of  tliick  knit 
woollen  drawers,  very  thick  stockings,  and  broad,  strong 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  33 

shoes.  Your  legs  will  be  warm  enough,  perhaps.  If 
not,  then  put  on  a  pair  of  wash-leather  drawers  over 
the  knit  woollen  ones.  With  thick  pants  over  these 
you  will  probably  be  warm.  In  some  rare  cases  even 
this  will  not  keep  the  limbs  warm.  But  they  must  be 
kept  warm.  So  you  must  add,  and  keep  adding,  till 
they  are  warm.  This  is  the  way  you  do  with  your 
body ;  why  not  the  same  with  your  legs  ?  You  will 
thereby  save  your  throat,  lungs,  and  head  from  many 
common  troubles." 


PLEASURES  OF  OLD  AGE. 

A  FINE  old  writer  says  that  an  "  old  man  who  is  not 
a  fool  is  the  happiest  creature  in  the  world."  With 
adequate  means  of  support,  with  few  and  simple  wants, 
he  sits  in  his  great-chair,  reviews  a  long  life  well  spent, 
sees  his  children  and  grandchildren  developing  into 
useful  and  noble  lives  about  him,  watches  the  progress 
of  society,  and  reflects  that  he  has  sown  seed  which  is 
now  bearing  fruit. 

"  Age's  chief  arts  and  aims  are  to  grow  wise, 
Virtue  to  know,  and,  known,  to  exercise  ; 
All  just  returns  to  age  then  virtue  makes, 
Nor  her  in  her  extremity  forsakes  ; 
The  sweetest  cordial  age  receives  at  last 
Is  consciousness  of  virtuous  actions  past." 

If  the  past  has  been  reasonable,  the  last  ten  years  are 
likely  to  be  the  happiest  of  our  lives. 


34  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


LONGEVITY. 

A  EOMAN  judge  made  the  first  reliable  records  of 
human  longevity.  His  statistics  were  collected  and 
published  during  the  third  century.  His  tables  were 
adopted  by  the  Eoman  courts,  and  made  the  guide  in 
determining  the  value  of  life-estates,  reversions,  etc.,  for 
hundreds  of  years.  In  modern  times,  the  oldest  trust- 
worthy accounts  are  those  of  Geneva,  Switzerland. 
From  these  and  other  records  kept  during  the  last  four 
hundred  years,  we  learn  that  the  length  of  human  life 
during  the  last  sixteen  centuries  has  just  about 
doubled. 

Diseases  which  in  former  times  were  very  destructive 
have  now  disappeared  ;  and  some  which  formerly  swept 
away  whole  peoples,  now  only  attack  individuals. 
SmaU-pox  between  1675  and  1757  annually  caused 
from  seven  to  ten  per  cent  of  the  mortality  of  London. 
Now,  through  that  most  beneficent  of  all  discoveries, 
vaccination,  this  loathsome  disease  is  welluigh  ban- 
ished from  civilized  nations.  Measles,  which  formerly 
caused  eight  to  eleven  per  cent  of  the  deaths,  has  now 
fallen  below  two  per  cent.  From  1675  to  1727- twenty 
per  cent  of  the  deaths  among  children  came  from  teeth- 
ing, while  now  the  rate  has  fallen  below  one  per  cent. 
And  even  consumption,  which   many  people   think  a 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  35 

modern  disease,  was  formerly  more  fatal  than  now.  In 
the  seventeenth  century  seventeen  per  cent  of  the 
deaths  were  caused  by  consumption.  The  percentage 
in  London,  where  the  mortality  from  this  disease  is 
still  great,  is  now  not  more  than  ten  per  cent.  One 
hundred  years  ago  fevers  caused  the  death  of  one  sixth 
of  the  people  of  London.  From  1857  to  1860  this  per- 
centage was  reduced  two  thirds.  Some  diseases  now 
unknown  made  frightful  havoc  in  those  days  of  low 
civilization.  The  "Black  Death"  carried  off  twenty- 
five  millions  of  the  inhabitants  of  Europe  during  1348 
and  1349.  The  "Sweating  Sickness"-  was  another  ter- 
rible scourge.  From  1602  to  1665  eaoh  year  there  died 
in  London  alone  from  one  thousand  to  ten  thousand 
and  four  hundred  persons  of  the  Plague.  For  the  last 
two  hundred  years  this  scourge  has  appeared  only  occa- 
sionally, and  in  those  parts  of  Egypt  and  Asia  where 
civilization  has  not  removed  its  causes.  Two  hundred 
years  ago  the  deaths  averaged  annually  about  one  in 
twenty  of  the  living,  even  in  the  most  favored  districts. 
From  1846  to  1865  the  deaths  in  England  were  one  in 
forty-two.  From  1604  to  1682  the  births  in  London 
were  699,075,  and  the  burials  964,882.  From  1851  to 
1860  there  were  in  London  869,263  births  and  610,473 
burials.  In  the  former  period  for  every  100  births 
there  were  137  burials.  In  the  latter  period  for  every 
100  births  there  were  78  burials.     Fifty  years  ago  the 


36  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Life  Insurance  Company  of  Philadelphia  used  a  table 
based  upon  an  expectation  of  twenty-eight  years  and 
five  months  from  birth.  The  life- table  of  the  United 
States  calculated  in  1860  made  the  expectation  forty- 
one  years.  The  distinguished  Mr.  Finlaison  calculates 
that  one  quarter  was  added  to  human  life  during  the 
eighteenth  century. 

Formerly  people  lived  in  holes  and  caverns  of  the 
earth.  Even  within  a  brief  time  the  laboring  classes  in 
England  lived  in  houses  without  floors.  The  ground 
was  often  wet  and  muddy.  To  avoid  this,  straw  and 
rushes  were  spread  over  the  ground,  which  were  put  on 
fresh  without  removing  the  old.  Erasmus,  who  care- 
fully studied  life  in  Great  Britain,  declares  that  in 
some  cases  the  straw  and  rushes  would  not  be  removed 
for  twenty  years,  and  was  not  unfrequently  filled  with 
fish-bones,  broken  victuals,  and  the  excretions  of  dogs, 
children,  and  men.  Life  in  the  cities  was  terribly  ex- 
posed. They  were  impaved,  undrained,  and  the  streets 
were  made  the  receptacles  of  every  species  of  filth. 
Crawling  about  in  this  mire  of  indescribable  filth,  in- 
haling fetid,  pestilential  exhalations,  staggering  through 
this  sea  of  vUeness,  the  people  sought  to  propitiate 
Heaven  by  prayers  and  entreaties.  Even  as  late  as 
the  nineteenth  century  a  number  of  intelligent  people 
in  Scotland,  when  the  cholera  was  threatening  that 
country,  instead  of  insisting  on  a  thorough  cleansing 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  37 

of  cellars,  yards,  cesspools,  and  streets,  petitioned  for  a 
day  of  national  fasting,  humiliation,  and  prayer.  Lord 
Palmerston,  in  reply,  urged  immediate  and  thorough 
sanitary  measures,  "  otherwise,"  said  he,  "  pestilence  will 
surely  visit  you,  in  spite  of  all  the  prayers  of  a  united 
but  inactive  nation." 


I  DO  not  know  whether  the  performers  in  circuses 
are  long-lived.  Such  men  used  to  be  drunken,  and  I 
presume  were  short-lived.  But  now  that  they  have 
become  sober,  and  every  way  temperate,  I  should  pre- 
sume they  are  exceptionally  healthy  and  long-lived. 
Two,  at  least,  of  Barnum's  performers  are  wealthy  gen- 
tlemen, occupying  very  fine  houses  in  N"ew  York  City, 
and  bringing  forward  fine  families.  The  profession  of 
circus  gymnastics  has  become  very  respectable,  and 
commands  large  salaries.  Some  of  them  receive  three 
or  four  hundred  dollars  a  week.  I  wish  I  could  show 
you  the  residence  of  one  of  Barnum's  company.  It  is 
in  a  fashionable  avenue  in  New  York,  and  at  ten 
o'clock  in  the  morning  you  may  see  that  circus-rider 
starting  out  with  his  beautiful  wife  and  daughters  for  a 
drive  in  Central  Park,  In  the  afternoon  you  may  see 
him  in  tights  performing  in  the  ring.  And,  by  the 
way,  the  circus  is  the  only  place  of  amusement  where 
you  never  witness  an  indecent  sight  or  hear  an  inde- 


38  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

cent  word.  It  is  the  purest,  and,  on  the  whole,  the 
most  wholesome  amusement  we  have  among  us.  I 
like  to  see  the  little  people  gathering  to  the  great  white 
tent.  Men  assure  you  that  they  go  to  see  to  the  chil- 
dren. For  myself,  I  like  to  take  the  little  folks,  but  I 
go  for  my  own  amusement,  greatly  preferring  a  good 
circus  to  the  most  splendid  tragedy  ever  put  upon  the 
stage.  At  the  circus  you  breathe  a  good  air,  and  every- 
thing is  simple  and  natural.  There  is  nothing  of  the 
stilted,  artificial  fuss  and  feathers  and  roar  which  make 
most  tragedy  performances  a  constant  strain  and  pain 
to  all  people  who  happen  to  have  a  little  nature  left  in 
them. 

The  men  of  culture  about  Boston  are  remarkable  for 
freshness  and  youthfulness,  although  as  a  class  they  are 
prodigiously  overworked.  I  wish  I  felt  at  liberty  to 
mention  the  names  of  ten  of  the  best-known  scholars 
in  and  about  Boston,  and  give  their  ages.  I  am  sure 
that  some  people  who  imagine  that  there  exists  a  chron- 
ic quarrel  between  the  body  and  the  mind  would  be 
surprised.  Place  these  ten  scholars  before  us  in  a  row 
without  selection,  but  taking  them  as  they  come,  and 
then  go  into  the  street  and  gather  the  first  ten  cartmen, 
farmers,  or  carpenters,  and  I  am  sure  we  should  be 
astonished  at  the  contrast  between  them ;  it  would  be 
hard  for  us  to  believe  that  the  scholars  were  as  old 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  39 

as  the  workinginen.    Of  all  work,  brain  work  is  the 
healthiest,  and  conduces  most  to  longevity. 


The  work  of  the  politician  is  an  exception  to  the 
rule  mentioned  above.  Without  doubt,  his  life  is  un- 
favorable to  health  of  body,  and  it  would  seem  in  these 
later  times  to  be  unfavorable  to  health  of  mind  and 
morals.  I  am  sorry  to  hear  that  a  friend  has  "  gone 
into "  politics.  Yef  a  political  career  should  be  the 
most  useful  and  honorable  of  all  careers.  It  is  unde- 
niable that  the  larger  number  of  our  public  men  are 
not  first-class  in  any  respect,  and  that  very  few  of  them 
are  first-class  in  integrity.  !N"o  feature  in  our  Ameri- 
can life  is  so  deeply  to  be  regretted. 


The  true  rule  in  regard  to  the  use  of  glasses  is  to 
put  them  on  as  soon  as  you  need  them.  This  attempt 
to  put  off  the  beginning  of  their  use  has  injured  a 
great  many  eyes.  I  will  not  deny  that  occasionally 
some  one  has  contrived  to  avoid  their  use  through  a 
long  life,  but  such  cases  are  rare  exceptions.  In  the 
great  majority  of  cases  it  would  prove  about  as  suc- 
cessful as  the  Dutchman's  attempt  to  teach  his  horse  to 
live  without  food.  Just  as  soon  as  you  begin  to  push 
your  paper  from  you,  just  as  soon  as  the  gas  becomes 
bad,  and  the  type  in  the  newspapers  too  small,  and  the 
printing  very  bad,  you  had  better  get  a  pair  of  glasses. 


40  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Begin  with  No.  60,  and  then  come  down  gradually,  as 
your  eyes  change.  Don't  buy  cheap  glasses,  but  get 
the  very  best  from  the  best  dealer.  Don't  wear  these 
nose-nippers,  except  for  momentary  use,  but  get  a  pair 
of  good  old-fashioned  spectacles. 


I  THINK  artificial  teeth  are  vital  when  the  natural 
ones  are  gone.  Mastication  is  indispensable  to  good 
digestion,  and  without  teeth  that  is  impossible.  Few 
men  are  so  useful  as  our  dentists,  and  a  good  one  is 
easily  found.  Find  him,  and  give  him  time  to  make 
the  fit  complete.  The  people  are  getting  so  economical 
in  dentistry,  that  much  of  the  work,  if  dentists  are  to 
earn  their  living,  must  be  done  hastily  and  imperfectly. 


Cold-Water  Drinking.  —  Cold  baths  of  the  skin 
are  good,  but  it  is  doubtful  if  flooding  the  stomach  on 
going  to  bed  and  on  rising  is  not,  on  the  whole,  the 
most  profitable  form  of  cold  bathing.  Costiveness,  piles, 
and  indigestion  are  uniformly  relieved  by  this  morn- 
ing and  evening  stomach  cold  douche.  The  quantity 
must  be  determined  by  each  one  for  himself  Two  or 
three  swallows  will  generally  do  to  begin  with,  but  the 
quantity  will  soon  grow  to  a  tumblerful,  and  I  have 
known  persons  to  use  much  more  with  marked  benefit. 
If  wisely  managed,  every  dyspeptic  will  be  greatly 
improved  by  this  cold  stomach  bath. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  41 


CHAT  WITH  LOVERS. 

The  separation  system  of  the  French  is  fatal  to  true 
love  and  marriage.  Already  it  has  obtained  a  footing 
among  us.  A  girl  sees  her  future  husband  in  a  draw- 
ing-room. The  ambitious  mother,  who  is  in  attend- 
ance as  stage  manager,  has  arranged  the  programme. 
After  three  performances  the  engagement  is  announced, 
and  in  due  time  the  ceremony  is  solemnized  by  the 
Church.  The  couple  are  driven  to  their  home,  and 
then,  for  the  first  time,  the  mask  being  removed,  they 
get  a  peep  at  each  other.  That  both  of  them  should 
soon  set  about  a  search  for  agreeable  partners  is  only 
the  natural  result  of  such  a  union.  Without  perfect 
freedom  of  choice,  a  true  and  happy  marriage  is  ex- 
ceedingly improbable.  There  can  be  no  such  freedom 
without  intimate  acquaintance. 

Our  separate  schools  have  contributed  much  to  the 
wall  between  the  sexes.  During  the  awakening  period, 
when  the  imagination  is  most  active,  the  sexes  are 
carefully  kept  apart  in  separate  schools.  Some  years 
ago  I  had  the  supervision  of  a  school  for  young  men 
and  women.  The  desks  were  what  is  called  double, 
each  one  accommodating  two  persons.  I  placed  a 
young  man  and  a  young  woman  at  each.  Permission 
was  given  the  pupils  to  render  such  assistance  to  their 


42  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

desk-mates  as  they  thought  profitable,  keeping  the 
noise  within  bounds.  But  we  did  not  often  check 
the  hum  and  buzz  ;  for  as  these  young  people  were 
being  trained  for  life,  and  as  in  actual  life  there  is  a 
hundred  times  as  much  noise  as  silence,  I  should 
hardly  have  felt  at  liberty  to  train  their  faculties  in 
silence  for  use  in  noise.  I  only  said,  "Don't  be  too 
noisy." 

What  I  wish  to  bring  before  you  is  the  striking 
influence  of  this  system  upon  the  love  passion.  When 
Thomas  and  Lucy  first  sat  down  together,  they  looked 
and  acted  just  as  a  young  man  and  a  young  woman  are 
likely  to  do  when  they  first  meet  I  need  not  describe 
it.  You  have  seen  how  they  look  and  act.  This  soon 
began  to  wear  off,  and  in  a  month  the  young  people 
acted  toward  each  other  like  brother  and  sister.  All 
that  peculiar  expression  and  manner  which  you  often 
see  among  lovers,  and  which  you  recognize  at  the 
distance  of  three  blocks,  soon  disappeared.  With  the 
new  Eirrangement  in  our  school  there  was  more  or  less 
of  this  all  through  the  room,  but,  as  already  stated,  it 
soon  gave  place  to  a  social  atmosphere  which  seemed 
identical  with  that  of  a  home  among  brothers  and 
sisters. 

Still  further,  they  were  permitted  to  change  partners 
at  pleasure  on  the  first  Monday  of  each  month.  This 
renewed  the  "lovers'"  exhibition  a  little  at  first,  but 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  43 

after  three  months  even  this  change  of  companions 
evoked  no  visible  disturbance  of  the  school-work.  But 
what  good  came  of  it  ?  It  is  just  that  question  I  wish 
to  answer. 

1st.  From  the  day  this  system  was  introduced  the 
school  required  no  government.  It  was  like  a  com- 
pany of  ladies  and  gentlemen  in  a  drawing-room. 
There  was  no  necessity  for  rules  in  the  one  case  more 
than  in  the  other. 

2d.  The  average  progress  in  the  studies  was  strik- 
ingly enhanced.  Stupid,  coarse  fellows,  who  in  a  com- 
pany of  men  alone  would  chew  and  growl  and  loaf, 
became  bright,  gentlemanly,  and  studious,  and  girls  of 
light,  frivolous  composition  became  earnest.  The  aver- 
age progress  was  greatly  increased. 

3d.  The  young  men  came  to  regard  women,  not  as 
charming  creatures  to  be  toyed  with  and  to  be  talked 
down  to,  but  as  brave,  hard-working  companions,  com- 
petitors, and  equals.  They  ceased  to  think  of  their 
bodies,  and  thought  only  of  the  quality  of  their  minds. 
The  young  women  no  longer  looked  up  to  the  young 
men  as  chivalrous  heroes,  seeking  opportunity  to  die 
for  their  lady-loves,  but  as  fair,  honorable  companions, 
whom  it  was  a  pleasure  to  know  and  sometimes  to 
conquer.  In  a  few  months  they  came  to  feel  toward 
men  just  as  those  girls  do  who  liave  been  reared  in  a 
large  family  of  boys,  and  who  are  rarely  ^vrong  in  the 


44  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

choice  of  husbands.  The  girls  who  are  educated  in  a 
separate  school  are  like  the  "  only  child,"  who  is  almost 
sure,  if  she  has  been  brought  up  in  seclusion,  to  fall 
into  some  trap.  The  young  men,  after  a  year  in  such 
school  companionship,  are  like  the  young  man  with 
half  a  dozen  sisters,  who  is  sure  to  be  wise  in  the 
selection  of  a  wife. 

In  its  bearing  upon  the  most  important  interests  of 
our  earthly  life,  there  is  no  part  of  our  education  so 
vital  as  an  early,  large,  intimate  acquaintance  with 
many  persons  of  the  opposite  sex.  What  probability 
is  there  that  a  young  woman,  an  only  child,  brought  up 
in  seclusion,  educated  in  a  convent  or  other  separate 
school,  and  who  then,  having  finished  her  education, 
sets  up  at  home  under  the  watchful  eye  of  her  mother 
for  a  husband,  —  what  probability  is  there  that  she 
will  be  wise  in  her  relations  with  men?  With  no 
occupation  save  that  of  catching  a  beau,  with  imagina- 
tion and  emotions  left  to  wander,  is  she  Kkely  to  see 
through  the  sham  smiles  and  vows  of  an  impostor? 


The  only  Way.  —  Nothing  but  unrestrained,  unaf- 
fected intercourse  between  the  sexes  can  assure  an 
average  of  wise  and  happy  marriages.  This  can  never 
be  secured  until  woman  is  elevated  to  a  legal  and  finan- 
cial equality  with  man. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  45 


LAUGH!  LAUGH!  LAUGH! 

No  other  exercise  is  equal  to  laughing !  Nothing 
acts  so  directly  and  happily  upon  the  organs  within 
both  chest  and  abdomen.  Ten  hearty  laughs  —  real 
shouts  —  will  do  more  to  enhance  the  general  health 
and  vitality  than  an  hour  spent  in  the  best  gymnastic 
attitude  and  motions,  if  done  in  a  sober,  solemn  spirit. 
Of  course  I  know  you  can't  laugh  at  will,  so  you  must 
play  with  the  children,  play  with  the  dog,  introduce  a 
hundred  games  which  involve  competition  and  fun. 
Open  the  folding  doors,  move  back  the  centre-table,  and 
go  it.  Play  with  small  bags  filled  with  beans,  run  for 
the  pins,  play  any  of  the  games  which  you  can  recall 
from  your  early  experience.  When  the  spring  comes, 
devote  a  part  of  your  garden  to  a  playground,  and  then 
carry  forward  the  good  work  in  earnest.  If  your  solemn- 
faced  neighbor  suggests  that  you  had  better  devote  the 
ground  to  potatoes,  tell  him  that  one  good  laugh  is 
worth  more  than  an  hour  at  digging  potatoes,  and  then 
go  it  with  redoubled  zeal. 


The  Best  Teachers.  —  Dr.  Hammond's  formula  for 
the  cure  of  dyspepsia,  "eat  little  and  often/'  is  based 
upon  a  theory,  as  most  medical  teachings  have  been. 
My  advice,  namely,  eat  hut  twice  a  day,  the  first  meal 


*^ 


46  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

hearty  and  quite  early  in  the  morning,  the  second  Tneal  not 
hearty  and  not  later  than  two  o'clock,  is  not  based  upon 
a  theory,  but  upon  wide  observation  and  experience. 


To  PREVENT  Dyspepsia.  —  Have  a  right  good  talk, 
with  a  funny  anecdote  or  two,  and  a  half-dozen  hearty 
laughs,  with  each  meaL  This  eating  alone  at  a  res- 
taurant, and  shovelling  in  the  provender  in  solemn 
silence,  would  give  dyspepsia  to  an  ostrich. 


FUN  AT  HOME. 

Don't  be  afraid  of  a  little  fun  at  home,  good  people. 
Don't  shut  up  your  houses  lest  the  sun  should  fade 
your  carpets  and  your  hearts,  lest  a  hearty  laugh  should 
shake  down  some  of  the  musty  cobwebs  there.  If  you 
want  to  ruin  your  sons,  let  them  think  that  all  mirth 
and  social  enjoyment  must  be  left  on  the  threshold 
when  they  come  home  at  night.  When  once  a  home 
is  regarded  as  only  a  place  to  eat,  drink,  and  sleep  in, 
the  work  is  begun  that  ends  in  gambling-houses  and 
degradation.  Young  people  must  have  fun  and  relax- 
ation somewhere.  If  they  do  not  find  it  at  their  own 
hearthstones,  it  will. be  sought  in  other,  and  perhaps 
less  profitable,   places.      Therefore  let  the  fire   l>um 


FIVE -MINUTE  CHATS.  4,*J 

brightly  at  night,  and  make  the  home  ever  delightful 
with  all  those  little  arts  that  parents  so  perfectly  under- 
stand. Don't  repress  the  buoyant  spirits  of  your  chil- 
dren ;  half  an  hour  of  merriment  round  the  lamp  and 
firelight  of  home  blots  out  the  remembrance  of  many  a 
care  and  annoyance  during  the  day,  and  the  best  safe- 
gTiard  they  can  take  with  them  into  the  world  is  the 
unseen  influence  of  a  bright  little  domestic  sanctum. 


MARRIAGE   UNFASHIONABLE. 

Among  the  better  classes  marriage  is  becoming  un- 
fashionable. The  number  of  educated  business  men 
in  our  cities  from  twenty  to  forty  who  remain  single, 
and  have  no  intention  to  marry,  is  becoming  very 
large.  The  hotels  are  full  of  them,  the  clubs  and 
boarding-houses  teem  with  bachelors.  I  have  a  hun- 
dred times  introduced  the  subject  of  matrimony  among 
such  people.  Their  comments  are  curious,  and  nearly 
always  in  the  same  vein. 

Mr.  A.   "Not  any  for  me,  if  you  please." 

3fr.  B.  "  Of  course  women  are  all  well  enough  in 
their  way,  but  then  I  shall  never  bind  myself" 

Mr.  C.  "Yes,  I  should  look  jolly  now,  with  a  wife 
and  half  a  dozen  babies,  should  n't  I  ?  Of  course  I 
admire  women  hugely,  especially  those  blondes  in  the 


48  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

'  Black  Crook ' ;  but  then  I  ain't  quite  a  fooL  No, 
gentlemen,  I  sha'  n't  hitch  a  tail  to  my  kite  yet  awhile. 
When  I'm  played  out,  and  want  hot  flannels  on  my 
joints,  then  perhaps  I  '11  sail  in ;  but  for  the  present 
I  '11  paddle  my  own  canoe." 

Mr.  D.  "Why,  yes,  if  the  old  cove  would  come 
down  with  the  stamps,  I  would  n't  mind ;  but  then 
I  wouldn't  go  in  for  less  than  a  cool  hundred  thou- 
sand. The  old  madam  can't  get  her  off  on  to  me  with 
any  of  your  thirty  or  forty  thousand.  You  see  it 
won't  go  down.  Can't  catch  me  with  any  of  your 
small  bait." 

Mr.  E.  "  0,  of  course  I  know  it ;  she 's  a  stunner, 
but  then  old  Moneybags  can't  expect  to  work  off 
his  girls  without  showing  his  hand.  A  fellow  can't 
leap  into  the  dark.  If  the  old  skeesicks  wants  to 
get  rid  of  'em,  he  must  plank  down  the  shiners." 

Mr.  F.  "  Well,  boys,  it 's  no  use  talking  ;  the  sort  of 
life  we  are  leading  is  that  of  savages.  What  does  it 
all  amount  to?  My  idea  is  a  little  cottage  with  a 
little  wife,  and  I  would  have  one  if  I  were  not  afraid. 
The  fact  is,  they  are  all  sick,  and  the  doctor's  bills 
are  more  than  aU  the  rest  of  it.  Now,  if  I  could  get 
a  wife  with  such  health  as  my  grandmother  had,  I 
would  go  in  to-morrow ;  but  these  wasp-waisted  con- 
cerns, why,  they  have  n't  room  enough  for  their  blood- 
vessels, saying  nothing  of  liver  and  stomach  and  a 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  49 

good  dinner.  No,  boys,  the  kind  of  life  we  are  lead- 
ing is  not  a  bit  to  my  taste  ;  but  then  the  other  thing, 
—  well,  I  '11  have  to  think  of  it.  Of  course  T  know 
that  a  body  only,  no  matter  how  healthy  and  beau- 
tiful, fails  to  make  a  woman.  The  best  part  of  a 
woman  is  her  beautiful  loving  soul,  and  I  should  be 
sorry  not  to  think  that  heaven  will  be  full  of  them, 
but  in  this  world  health  and  strength  are  indispen- 
sable." 


Beautiful  Women.  —  Beauty  in  woman  is,  in  con- 
siderable part,  a  matter  of  health.  A  sick  woman's  face 
may  be  exquisitely  moulded ;  she  never  appeals  to  our 
imagination.  But  even  an  ugly  face  all  aglow  with 
health  and  spirit,  and  with  sparkling  eyes,  becomes 
beautiful.  Such  a  woman  appeals  to  the  imagination  ; 
she  charms  and  attracts  us  by  a  subtle  magnetism. 
Wliether  as  maid,  wife,  or  mother,  health  is  woman's 
great  good. 

Among  Lycurgus's  laws  was  one  that  a  man  should 
not  marry  before  he  was  thirty-seven,  nor  a  woman 
before  she  was  seventeen.  Modern  physiologists  dis- 
card this  great  disparity,  though  they  do  not  deny 
that  such  a  maturity  on  the  part  of  the  father  would 
secure  strong  children ;  but  they  think  the  difference 
too  great  for  modern  peoples.     The  general  opinion  is 

3 


60  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

that  the   man   should  be  twenty-five  to  thirty,  and 
the  woman  from  twenty  to  twenty-five. 


I  don't  quite  fancy  what  Dr.  Barbour  says  about 
lacing.  He  says  he  likes  it.  AU  the  fools  are  killed, 
while  the  sensible  girls  are  preserved  as  mothers 
for  the  next  generation.  I  don't  like  it,  because,  in  the 
first  place,  the  foolish  girls  are  not  quite  kiUed,  and 
then,  unfortunately,  a  good  many  bright  girls  are  caught 
in  the  trap. 

Advice  to  a  Young  Girl.  —  It  is  rare  that  a  young 
woman  should  marry  before  she  is  twenty.  It  is  better 
she  should  be  twenty-five.  But  to  marry  at  sixteen  is 
an  outrage  upon  nature.  Suppose  you  marry  at  this 
present  age,  and  at  seventeen  you  become  a  mother,  the 
laws  of  nature  must  be  changed  if  your  child  is  not  in- 
ferior. Indeed,  the  best  and  strongest  men  are  bom  of 
mothers  over  thirty  years  of  age.  But  sixteen,  that  is 
too  bad;  and  then  it  is  almost  certain  that  you  will 
lose  your  form  and  bloom  prematurely  if  you  marry 
when  you  are  a  child.  If  he  won't  wait,  he  is  not  wor- 
thy of  you.  It  is  your  body  more  than  your  soul  that 
he  is  after,  if,  when  a  proper  explanation  is  made,  he 
will  not  wait.  He  should  rest  in  the  fact  that  he  has 
your  love,  that  your  heart  is  his,  and  wait  for  your  body 
to  grow. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  51 


MY  LEAN  FRIENDS. 

You  want  to  know  what  you  shall  do  to  become 
plump  and  seemly  ?     I  will  tell  you. 

1,  Be  thankful  you  are  not  fat.  Man's  body  is 
designed  for  use.  Lean,  flexible,  active  folks  should 
be  duly  grateful  that  they  do  not  waddle,  wheeze,  and 
sweat.  Besides,  your  chance  for  long  life  is,  on  the 
whole,  better  than  that  of  the  fat  man.  So  gratitude 
that  your  case  is  no  worse  is  your  first  duty. 

2.  You  must  begin  the  consideration  of  your  ema- 
ciation with  the  physiological  fact  that  the  quantity 
and  quality  of  your  flesh  depend  upon  the  character  of 
your  digestion.  The  dyspeptic  and  consumptive  eat 
enormous  quantities  of  nutritious  food,  but  grow  thin- 
ner day  by  day.  Lean  people  are  not  unfrequently 
great  eaters,  but  the  food  is  not  appropriated.  Such 
bodies  are  like  our  great  peninsular  army,  which, 
receiving  constant  supplies  of  men  and  horses,  con- 
stantly decreased  in  size  and  strength.  So,  my  dear 
shadows,  we  must  determine,  first,  what  will  give  you 
more  thorough  digestion  and  assimilation.  You  proba- 
bly eat  too  much.  The  digestive  apparatus  is  com- 
pelled to  undertake  so  much,  it  can  do  nothing  well. 
Eemember,  it  is  not  the  quantity  eaten,  but  that 
digested,  which   determines  your  flesh  and   strength. 


) 


k 


52  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Eat  less!  And  as  the  saliva  plays  a  very  imiDortant 
part  in  the  function  of  digestion,  masticate  thoroughly, 
drinking  little  or  nothing  by  way  of  helping  the  food 
into  your  stomach. 

3.  Eat  but  twice  a  day ;  and,  unless  in  the  midst 
of  hard  labor,  let  the  second  meal  come  as  eariy  as  two 
or  three  o'clock.  So  important  do  I  regard  the  two- 
meal-a-day  system  for  certain  classes  of  invalids,  that 
I  rarely  prescribe  for  a  consumptive  or  dyspeptic 
without  making  this  rule  imperative.  If  the  patient 
is  to  eat  twenty  or  even  twenty-five  ounces  of  food  per 
day,  it  is  greatly  better  to  eat  it  in  two  meals.  And  I 
may  add,  that  for  all  classes  of  persons,  I  believe  it 
would  prove  a  great  advantage,  in  a  physiological 
point  of  view,  to  change  from  the  present  system  to 
two  meals  a  day. 

4.  For  breakfast,  eat  coarse  bread,  cream,  and  baked 
sweet-apples ;  for  dinner,  beef  or  mutton  (not  veal  or 
lamb),  with  some  coarse  bread,  potatoes,  and  all  the 
vegetables  of  the  season  except  tomatoes;  for  des- 
sert, use  fruit  ad  libitum.  If  possible,  sleep  a  little 
after  dinner. 

5.  You  must  sleep  in  a  pure  atmosphere ;  go  to  bed 
as  early  as  nine  o'clock,  and,  rising  by  six,  walk  slowly 
in  the  open  air  half  an  hour  or  more,  drinking  two  or 
three  tumblers  of  cold  water. 

6.  Spend  the  evening  in  social  enjoyment.  Happi- 
ness and  laughter  are  the  best  friends  of  digestion. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  53 

7.  Live  as  much  as  possible  in  the  open  air,  never 
forgetting  that,  after  the  food  has  been  well  digested 
in  the  stomach,  it  must  mingle  with  a  good  supply  of 
oxygen  in  the  lungs  before  it  can  be  transformed  into 
the  tissues  of  the  body.  Bad  food  with  a  pure  air 
will  make  flesh  faster  than  the  best  food  with  an 
impure  atmosphere. 

8.  Bathe  frequently,  that  the  effete  matter  in  the 
system  may  easily  escape,  and  thus  afford  the  best 
opportunity  for  the  deposition  of  new  material. 

9.  If  married,  cultivate  the  quiet  sentiments  of 
domestic  life.  If  unmarried,  and  of  proper  age  and 
health,  seek  in  tliis  most  satisfactory  of  all  earthly 
relations  that  freedom  from  the  fret  and  discontent 
of  life  which  only  a  true  marriage  can  give. 


People  who  perform  hard  muscular  labor  may  eat 
three  times  a  day,  but  most  of  the  inhabitants  of  our 
towns  and  cities  would  be  greatly  improved  in  health 
and  capacity  by  eating  but  twice,  —  breakfast  at  eight 
and  dinner  at  two. 

I  do  best  when  I  take  a  large  steak,  bread  and  po- 
tatoes, with  a  cup  of  weak  coffee,  for  breakfast  at  seven, 
and  an  oyster  stew  or  dish  of  oatmeal  for  dinner  at  one 
o'clock.  The  morning  is  the  time  to  take  in  a  large 
supply  of  food. 


54  FIVE -MINUTE  CHATS. 


FAT  PEOPLE. 

Perhaps  you  fancy  your  shape.  You  do  look  com- 
fortable and  jolly ;  but  as  a  physiologist,  I  must  find 
fault  with  you.  Obesity,  like  emaciation,  is  a  sort  of 
disease  unfavorable  to  health  and  long  life.  This 
warm  weather  makes  you  pant  and  perspire. 

I  met  one  of  your  number  down  on  the  beach  the 
other  day.  It  was  a  warm  afternoon.  He  was  very 
uncomfortable.  We  stopped  to  chat  a  moment,  when 
he  exclaimed,  "  I  would  give  ten  thousand  dollars  to  be 
reduced  to  one  hundred  and  fifty  pounds.  I  pant, 
wheeze,  and  sweat,  pant,  wheeze,  and  sweat,  every  time 
I  stir " ;  and,  looking  earnestly  in  my  face,  he  said, 
"  Doctor,  what  can  you  do  for  me  ?  What  can  I  take  ? 
My  family  doctor  tells  me  he  can  give  me  something 
that  will  whittle  me  down  ?  Do  you  think  it  can  be 
done  ? " 

"  O  yes,"  I  replied,  "  nothing  is  easier ;  but  it  is  quite 
unnecessary  to  take  any  medicine.  Suppose,  sir,  you 
have  a  very  fat  horse  much  in  the  condition  of  your- 
self, and  some  doctor  were  to  propose  to  reduce  his 
weight  with  medicine,  what  would  you  say?" 

"  I  should  tell  him  that  I  could  reduce  his  weight 
by  reducing  the  amount  of  his  food." 

"  Just  so,  and  you  would  be  quite  right.    Allow  me 


FIVE-rMINUTE  CHATS.  55 

to  commend  the  same  practice  to  yourself.  Eeduce 
the  quantity  of  your  food  one  quarter,  and  I  venture  to 
say  that  in  a  month  you  will  weigh  from  five  to  ten 
pounds  less  than  now.  At  the  end  of  the  first  month 
reduce  the  amount  of  your  food  another  quarter. 
Within  three  or  six  months  you  will  find  yourself 
lighter  by  twenty  to  fifty  pounds.  Your  digestion  will 
be  much  healthier,  your  respiration  freer,  and  your 
activity  and  endurance  greatly  increased." 

"  But,"  said  he,  "  I  don't  eat  half  as  much  as  some 
thin  men  whom  I  know." 

"  This  is  not  improbable,  and  I  presume  their  ex- 
cessive eating  keeps  them  thin,  as  with  your  tendency 
excessive  eating  produces  fat.  If  they  were  to  reduce 
the  quantity  of  their  food,  they  would,  like  yourself, 
tend  toward  the  normal  standard,  —  they  would  gain  in 
weight,  while  you  lose." 

He  promised  to  try  it,  and  started  on. 

In  a  horse-car  the  other  day  I  met  six  corpulent, 
uncomfortable  men,  all  quite  sure  to  die  prematurely. 
Each  one  of  them  might,  in  six  or  twelve  months,  be 
reduced  to  the  normal  standard,  and  enjoy  a  degree  of 
health  and  activity  to  which  he  is  now  a  stranger.  Is 
any  physiological  statement  more  self-evident  than 
that  every  fat  person  eats  more  than  he  needs  ? 

"  But,"  exclaims  some  fat  young  woman,  who  would 
"  give  the  world "  to  be  in  good  shape,  "  I  cannot  go 
hungry  and  faint  forever." 


56  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

This  remark  shows  you  have  never  tried  what  I  have 
suggested.  It  is  only  the  great  eater  who  is  troubled 
with  hunger  and  "goneness."  If  you  would  reduce 
the  quantity  of  your  food  even  one  half  at  once,  after 
three  days  you  will  not  suffer  from  faintness  or  hunger. 
The  man  who  eats  temperately  of  unstimulating  food 
rarely  knows  the  sensation  of  hunger. 

In  the  light  of  these  undeniable  statements,  how 
silly  the  practice,  common  among  girls,  of  swallowing 
acids  and  other  killing  things,  and  among  men  of 
steeping  in  tobacco,  to  reduce  their  flesh !  I  have 
personally  known  scores  of  young  women  whose  health 
•has  been  ruined  by  drinking  vinegar  or  eating  chalk 
and  other  indigestible  things,  all  to  take  away  their 
fat.  And  I  have  known  a  still  greater  number  to  ruin 
themselves  with  corsets,  in  the  hope  of  keeping  them- 
selves comely  and  in  shape. 

I  liave  met  hundreds  of  fat  men  who  were  besmeared 
and  saturated  with  tobacco-juice,  objects  of  disgust  to 
all  beholders,  terrors  to  decent  housekeepers,  peregri- 
nating stench-pots,  and  all  to  keep  their  flesh  down. 

My  poor,  dear,  fat  simpletons,  allow  me  to  prescribe 
for  you. 

Rise  early ;  exercise  much,  particularly  in  the  open 
air ;  bathe  frequently,  rubbing  the  skin  very  hard  ;  but 
most  important  of  all,  eat  plain,  coarse  food,  and  reduce 
the  quantity  until  you  find  yourself  growing  thinner 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  57 

two  or  three  pounds  per  week.  Your  sluggishness, 
short  breath,  and  other  discomforts  will  soon  leave  you, 
and  you  will  become  bright,  clear-headed,  and  happy. 


Two  meals  a  day  are  quite  enough  for  persons  seven- 
teen years  of  age  of  either  sex.  Breakfast  on  bread 
and  milk,  with  cracked  wheat  and  syrup,  and  dine  at 
one,  two,  or  three  o'clock  on  plain  meat  and  vegetables, 
eating  heartily  if  your  appetite  craves  it,  taking  no 
dessert  unless  it  be  simple  fruit,  and  you  have  food 
enough  to  last  till  breakfast  next  morning.  Omitting 
supper  or  tea,  you  will  sleep  better  after  the  habit  is 
established,  and  make  better  progress  in  your  studies. 
Persons  who  have  tried  the  two-meal  system  testify 
almost  unanimously  in  its  favor. 


Is  YOUK  Son  dull  and  lazy  ?  —  You  had  better 
stop  his  meat,  rich  food,  and  coffee,  make  him  get  up 
early,  bathe  in  cold  water,  coax  him  into  active  sports, 
or  put  him  at  work,  and  when  a  lesson  is  given  him 
make  sure  that  he  learns  it. 


The  best  of  all  chair-bottoms  is  the  cane,  which  is 
neither  too  soft  nor  too  hard.  But  still  more  important, 
it  is  cool. 

3* 


58  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


STRENGTH  AND  HEALTH. 

It  is  quite  a  common  idea  that  health  keeps  pace 
with  strength.  I  know  intelligent  persons  who  really 
think  that  you  may  determine  the  comparative  health 
of  a  company  of  men  by  measuring  their  arms,  —  that  he 
whose  arm  measures  twelve  inches  is  twice  as  healthy 
as  he  whose  arm  measures  but  six.  This  strange  and 
thoughtless  misapprehension  has  given  rise  to  nearly 
all  the  mistakes  thus  far  made  in  the  physical-culture 
movement.  I  have  a  friend  who  can  lift  nine  hundred 
pounds,  and  yet  is  an  habitual  sufferer  from  torpid  liver, 
rheumatism,  and  low  spirits.  There  are  many  similar 
cases.  The  cartmen  of  our  cities,  who  are  our  strongest 
men,  are  far  from  the  healthiest  class,  as  physicians 
will  testify.  On  the  contrary,  I  have  many  friends 
who  would  stagger  under  three  hundred  pounds  that 
are  in  capital  trim.  But  I  need  not  elaborate  a  matter 
so  familiar  with  physicians  and  other  observing  people. 
No  test  of  health  would  prove  more  faulty  than  a  tape- 
line  or  a  lift  at  the  scale-beam.  Suppose  two  brothers 
—  bank-clerks  —  in  bad  health.  They  are  measured 
around  the  arm.  Each  marks  exactly  ten  inches. 
They  try  the  scale-beam.  The  bar  rises  at  exactly 
three  hundred  pounds  with  each.  Both  seek  health. 
John  goes  to  the  gymnasium,  lifts  heavy  dumb-bells 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  59 

and  kegs  of  nails  until  he  can  put  up  one  hundred  and 
twenty-five  pounds  and  lift  nine  hundred,  and  his  arm 
reaches  fifteen  inches.  Thomas  goes  to  the  mountains, 
fishes,  hunts,  spends  delightful  hours  with  the  young 
ladies,  and  plays  cricket.  Upon  measuring  his  arm  we 
find  it  scarcely  larger  than  when  he  left  town,  while  he 
can't  put  up  sixty  pounds  nor  lift  five  hundred.  But 
who  doubts  Thomas  will  return  to  the  bank  counter 
the  better  man  of  the  two  ?  John  should  be  the  better 
man,  if  strcTigth  is  the  principal  or  most  essential  con- 
dition of  health.  A  circus  usually  contains  among  its 
performers  a  man  who  can  lift  a  cannon  weighing  near- 
ly or  quite  half  a  ton.  Then  there  are  half  a  dozen 
riders  and  vaulters,  who  have  comparatively  little 
strength.  If  anybody  supposes  that  the  strong  man 
has  better  health  than  the  flexible,  elastic  ones,  he  has 
but  to  make  inquiries  of  circus-managers,  as  I  have 
done,  and  he  wiU.  learn  that  the  balance  is  found  almost 
uniformly  with  the  latter.  Agility  and  flexibility  are 
far  more  important  than  strength,  and  that  fine  silken 
quality  of  the  muscular  fibre  which  comes  only  from 
an  infinite  repetition  of  light  and  ever- varying  feats  far 
more  important  than  size. 


60        "  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


CHAT  WITH  CONSUMPTIVES. 

When  I  was  practising  my  profession  in  Buffalo, 
N.  Y.,  where  I  resided  many  years,  there  came  one 
morning  a  note  requesting  an  appointment  for  a  pro- 
fessional interview.  His  own  health  was  the  sub- 
ject. 

Seating  himself,  he  began  with,  "You  see,  I  pre- 
sume, that  I  am  an  Englishman.  I  left  England  two 
years  ago,  and  came  to  America  to  seek  my  fortune. 
An  old  friend  in  business  here  induced  me  to  stop, 
and  now  I  am  junior  partner  in  the  firm  of  G.  T.  &  Co., 
fancy  dry-goods.  My  father,  mother,  and  sister  all 
died  of  consumption.  I  have  been  coughing  and 
getting  thin  for  about  eight  months.  Please  feel  my 
pulse." 

"What,  95?" 

"  Yes,  that 's  about  it,  and  in  the  evening  I  fancy  it 
gets  above  a  hundred." 

"  How  about  your  breathing  ? " 

"  0,  that 's  just  as  you  might  suppose.  Fp  hill  or 
up  stairs,  and  I  gasp  as  if  I  were  going  to  suffocate. 
O  doctor,  I  have  all  the  symptoms.  I  watched  my 
sister,  and  know  just  how  this  horrible  thing  works." 

"  Night-sweats  ? " 

"  Well,  no,  not  much,  though  occasionally  my  shoul- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  61 

ders  and  neck  are  wet  when  I  wake  up  in  the  morn- 
ing." 

"  Pain  ? " 

"Not  much,  though  I  have  several  times  had  a 
severe  pain  ander  my  shoulder-blade,  and  lately  a  dull 
aching  just  here  under  this  collar-bone." 

"  Expectoration  ? " 

"  Not.  a  great  deal,  though  I  now  begin  to  raise 
pretty  freely  in  the  morning." 

"  Take  off  your  coat  and  vest,  and  let  me  listen.  O 
no,  I  must  get  at  your  skin,  so  you  had  better  take  off 
the  shirts.  I  will  give  you  a  warm  dressing-gown 
to  protect  your  back  and  shoulders.  This  listening 
through  a  shirt  or  through  a  stethoscope  is  all  non- 
sense. There  is  nothing  like  putting  the  ear  right  on 
the  naked  chest.  There,  now !  you  may  breathe  in  a 
natural  way ;  if  I  want  you  to  breathe  deeper,  I  will 

tell  you Do  you  want  me  to  tell  you  the  plain 

truth  or  humbug  you  with  a  nice  story  ? " 

"  The  truth,  doctor,  —  the  whole  truth  ! " 

"Your  lungs  are  in  a  bad  way.  The  left  lung, 
through  aU  this  upper  part  under  the  collar-bone,  is  a 
mass  of  tubercles,  and  some  of  them  have  softened. 
The  upper  part  of  the  right  lung  is  tubercular,  though 
to  a  less  extent,  and  the  softening  has  not  yet  begun." 

"  There  can  be  no  mistake  ? " 

"  Not  the  least.     I  can,  with  a  piece  of  chalk,  mark 


62  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  exact  outline  of  the  tubercular  deposit  as  accu- 
rately as  though  I  had  the  lungs  themselves  in  my 
hands." 

"  How  long  do  you  think  I  shall  live  ? " 

"About  six  months.  I  think  you  will  die  about 
November." 

Sitting  with  his  face  buried  in  his  hands  for  several 
minutes,  I  busied  myself  with  -vvriting  a  note,  when, 
with  reddened  eyes  and  trembling  voice,  he  said,  "I 
would  n't  mind  it  for  myself,  sir,  but  a  beautiful  girl, 
whom  I  love  better  than  my  o^vn  life,  expects  me  to 
come  for  her  during  the  holidays  next  winter.  It  will 
kill  her,  sir.     Of  course  nothing  can  be  done  for  me  ? " 

"  Let  me  listen  very  carefully  again,  and  then  you 

must  give  me  a  day  to  think  of  it "Well,  sir,  I 

have  made  up  my  mind  upon  the  course  which  you 
should  pursue.  I  have  written  a  letter  to  your  friend 
in  England.  There  it  is.  I  have  left  it  open,  of 
course.  Eead  it.  If  you  approve  of  it,  send  it  off  by 
the  first  mail." 

My  letter  was  the  following  :  — 

"  Dear  Lady,  —  Your  friend  Greorge  R.  has  applied  to 
me  with  reference  to  his  health.  I  have  carefully  examined 
his  lungs,  and  find  that  he  is  in  consumption.  Both  lungs 
are  seriously  involved.  In  the  natural  or  ordinary  course 
of  things  he  will  die  in  about  six  months.  He  has  told  me 
with  streaming  eyes  of  the  crushing  grief  this  news  will 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  63 

bring  to  you.     My  dear  lady,  if  you  will  come  to  us  at 

once,  you  and  I   will  cure  him.     I  am  not  holding  out  a 

false  light.     If  you  will  come  and  join  your  forces  to  mine, 

we  will  save  him.  I  am  your  friend, 

"D.  L." 

With  a  heart  too  full  for  utterance  George  withdrew 
into  the  window,  and  when  he  could  command  his 
voice,  said,  "What  does  all  this  mean?  Are  you 
serious  ?  I  supposed  this  horrible  disease  was  as 
incurable  as  death." 

The  letter  was  sent.  A  horse  and  saddle  were 
purchased.  He  was  so  deeply  impressed  with  the 
absolute  necessity  of  doing  exactly  as  I  prescribed, 
that  he  started  on  his  morning  ride  at  exactly  eight 
o'clock  to  the  minute.  He  rode,  as  soon  as  the  first 
soreness  disappeared,  exactly  three  hours  and  a  half 
every  day,  and  always,  as  I  prescribed,  on  a  walk.  In 
a  month  it  was  three  hours  in  the  forenoon  and  two  in 
the  afternoon.  In  a  little  more  than  two  months  Mary 
arrived,  and  found  that  George  was  out  for  his  morning 
ride  of  four  hours.  She  came  at  once  to  me,  and  with, 
an  eagerness  which  was  painful  to  witness  asked,  after 
speaking  her  own  name,  "  How  is  George  ?  For  mer- 
cy's sake,  don't  tell  me  he  is  worse  ! " 

The  wedding  occurred  on  Christmas,  and  my  wife 
insisted  that  it  should  come  off  at  our  house.  Every 
one  of  us  cried,  and  that  does  seem  so  absurd  at  a 
wedding  ! 


64  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Of  course  there  is  a  part  of  his  lung  which  does  not 
breathe,  but  then  he  is  a  healthy  man  and  does  a  large 
amount  of  work.  His  wife  still  writes  us,  and  nearly 
always  closes  her  letter  with  something  like  this :  "  I 
can't  refrain  from  saying  again.  May  God  bless  you  for 
saving  the  life  of  my  nohle  hu^and  !  "  And  he  writes 
me  that  he  still  keeps  his  old  motto  over  his  desk,  and 
has  it  likewise  in  letters  of  gold  in  a  beautiful  frame 
over  his  mantel :  "  A  good  saddle-horse  can  carry  a 
consumptive  from  the  grave  back  into  the  midst  of  life 
and  health." 


Consumption  is  found  in  every  climate.  Inhabitants 
of  the  frozen  regions  and  those  who  live  under  the 
equator  die  of  consumption.  As  to  the  United  States, 
there  is  no  doubt  whatever  that  New  England  has  the 
largest  ratio  of  mortality  from  consumption;  but  the 
difference  is  but  slight,  and  is  probably  accounted  for 
on  the  ground  of  her  immense  cotton,  woollen,  and 
other  great  factories,  and  her  very  close  houses.  A 
person  who  lives  much  in  the  open  air,  and  when  at 
home  sits  by  an  open  fire  and  sleeps  with  an  open 
window,  is  rather  safer  from  consumption  than  the 
inhabitants  of  Florida.  A  person  born  in  New  Hamp- 
shire is  a  trifle  safer  staying  at  home  and  pursuing  a 
hygienic  life  than  he  can  be  by  going  to  Florida. 

Sir    James    Clarke,   Dr.   Carri^re,    a    distinguished 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  65 

Frencliman,  and  Dr.  Burgess,  a  thoughtful  Scotchman, 
have  written  ably,  and  with  much  spirit,  against  the 
idea  that  a  change  of  climate  is  curative  of  pulmonary 
consumption.  "  That  a  warm  climate  is  not  in  itself 
beneficial,  is  shown  from  the  fact  that  consumption 
exists  in  all  climates.  In  India  and  Africa  it  is  as 
frequent  as  in  Europe  and  North  America.  At  Malta, 
in  the  heart  of  the  genial  Mediterranean,  one  third  of 
the  deaths  among  the  soldiers  is  by  consumption.  At 
Nice,  a  favorite  resort  of  those  who  are  afflicted  with 
lung  complaints,  there  are  more  native-born  persons 
die  of  consumption  than  in  any  English  town  of  equal 
population.  .  .*.  ,  Naples,  with  its  boasted  climate, 
shows  in  her  hospitals  a  mortality  by  consumption 
equal  to  one  in  two  and  one  third,  whereas  in  Paris 
the  proportion  is  only  equal  to  one  in  three  and  one 
quarter." 

"  The  proportion  of  deaths  from  consumption,"  says 
Keith  Johnson,  "  indicates  how  little  mere  climate  has 
to  do  with  the  extent  of  this  disease  ;  since,  while  it  is 
almost  unknown  in  the  Madras  Presidency  of  India,  it 
is  more  frequent  at  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope  than  in 
the  Northern  United  States,  nearly  even  in  Britain  and 
British  North  America,  and  nearly  the  same  at  Gibral- 
tar as  in  the  West  Indies." 


66  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS, 


ATMOSPHERIC   IMPURITIES. 

There  are  some  impurities  in  the  atmosphere  which 
have  been  thought  favorable  to  the  hmgs.  The  coal- 
smoke  of  cities  has  been  so  regarded.  It  has  been  like- 
wise asserted  that  consumption,  when  actually  devel- 
oped, is  less  rapid  in  its  progress  in  an  atmosphere  of 
coal-smoke.  The  same  opinion  prevails  with  reference 
to  many  odors  and  effluvia,  but  it  may  well  be  doubted 
whether  a  pure,  odorless  atmosphere  is  susceptible  of 
improvement.  The  "  balsamic  odoi-s  "  of  certain  forests 
have  long  enjoyed  a  reputation  for  healing  maladies  of 
the  lungs,  but  I  think  their  virtues  come  from  the  out- 
door life  which  wandering  among  these  groves  involves. 
If  the  odor  of  pine  forests  and  tar-kilns  were  concen- 
trated in  the  air  of  a  furnace-heated  house,  I  fancy  that 
life  in  that  atmosphere  would  not  favor  the  lungs.  But 
I  have  no  doubt  that  living  in  the  pine  forests  of  Upper 
Georgia  has  often  cured  consumption. 

But  if  you  will  select  two  consumptives  in  similar 
condition,  and  you  will  take  one  to  saimter  in  the  ele- 
vated pine  regions  of  the  South,  I  will  let  you  select 
the  most  unhealthy  locality  in  the  Northern  States, 
and  I  will  take  my  case  there.  Now,  if  you  will  give 
me  plenty  of  flannels  and  a  saddle-horse,  I  will  wager 
you  a  farm  that  my  patient  will  recover  sooner  than 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHA  T8.  67 

yours.  You  may  take  your  case  to  the  hills  of  San 
Domingo,  and  have  him  live  gently  and  quietly,  and  I 
will  take  mine  to  the  worst  region  of  New  England, 
and  with  the  flannels  and  saddle  I  will  cure  my  patient 
in  half  the  time  it  will  take  to  cure  yours. 


Yes,  I  know  very  well  that  the  doctors  prescribe 
whiskey  for  consumption,  but  not  a  quarter  as  much  as 
they  did  five  years  ago ;  and  within  five  years  from  this 
time  the  same  doctors  who  now  prescribe  it  will  be  as 
much  ashamed  of  it  as  they  are  now  of  half  a  dozen 
other  prescriptions  for  consumption  which  have  had 
their  run  within  the  last  thirty  years.  In  medicine 
fashions  change  about  as  often  as  they  do  in  dress. 


Shall  I  marry?  —  You  ask  us  if  you  had  better 
marry.  You  say  that  both  of  your  parents  died  of 
consumption,  and  that  you  have  had  indications  of  the 
disease.  You  can  judge  as  well  as  anybody  of  the 
desirability  of  bringing  half  a  dozen  children  into 
existence  to  go  through  with  the  same  terrible  experi- 
ences as  that  through  which  your  parents  passed.  It 
is  a  fearful  responsibility  to  take  upon  yourself.  With 
our  notions  there  are  few  crimes  so  grave  as  marriage 
by  persons  who  inherit  consumption,  insanity,  or  epi- 
lepsy. 


68  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


EXPANDING  THE  CHEST. 

-  Take  a  strong  rope,  and  fasten  it  to  a  beam  over- 
head ;  to  the  lower  end  of  the  rope  attach  a  stick  three 
feet  long,  convenient  to  grasp  with  the  hands.  The 
rope  should  be  fastened  to  the  centre  of  the  stick, 
which  should  hang  six  or  eight  inches  above  the  head. 
Let  a  person  grasp  this  stick  with  the  hands  two  or 
three  feet  apart,  and  swing  very  moderately  at  first,  — 
perhaps  only  bear  the  weight,  if  very  weak,  —  and 
gradually  increase,  as  the  muscles  gain  strength  from 
the  exercise,  until  it  may  be  used  from  three  to  five 
times  daily.  The  connection  of  the  arms  with  the 
body,  with  the  exception  of  the  clavicle  with  the 
breast-bone,  being  a  muscular  attachment  to  the  ribs, 
the  effect  of  this  exercise  is  to  elevate  the  ribs  and  en- 
large the  chest.  Nature  allows  no  vacuum,  and  the 
lungs  expand  to  fill  the  cavity,  increasing  the  volume 
of  air,  the  natural  purifier  of  blood,  and  preventing  the 
congestion  or  the  deposit  of  tuberculous  matter.  We 
have  prescribed  the  above  for  all  cases  of  hemorrhage 
of  the  lungs  and  threatened  consumption  of  thirty-five 
years,  and  have  been  able  to  increase  the  measure  of 
the  chest  from  two  to  four  inches  within  a  few  months, 
and  with  good  results.  But  especially  as  a  preventive 
we  would  recommend  this  exercise.     Let  those  who 


FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS.  69 

love  to  live  strive  to  develop  a  well-formed^  capacious 
chest.  The  student,  the  merchant,  the  sedentary,  the 
young  of  both  sexes,  —  ay,  all,  —  should  have  a  swing 
on  wliich  to  stretch  themselves  daily.  We  are  certain 
that  if  this  were  to  be  practised  by  the  rising  generation 
in  a  dress  allowing  a  free  and  full  development  of  the 
body,  many  would  be  saved  from  consumption.  Inde- 
pendently of  its  beneficial  results,  the  exercise  is  an 
exceedingly  pleasant  one,  and  as  the  apparatus  costs 
very  little,  there  need  be  no  difficulty  about  any  one 
enjoying  it  who  wishes  to. 


OUR  FLANNELS. 

The  value  of  flannel  next  the  skin  cannot  be  over- 
rated. It  is  invaluable  to  persons  of  both  sexes  and 
all  ages,  in  all  countries,  in  all  climates,  at  every  sea- 
son of  the  year,  for  the  sick  and  the  well;  in  brief,  I 
cannot  conceive  of  any  circumstances  in  which  flannel 
next  the  skin  is  not  a  comfort  and  a  source  of  health. 
It  should  not  be  changed  from  thick  to  thin  before  the 
settled  hot  weather  of  the  summer,  which  in  our.  North- 
ern States  is  not  much  before  the  middle  of  June,  and 
often  not  before  the  first  of  July.  And  the  flannels  for 
the  summer  must  not  be  three  quarters  cotton,  but 
they  must  be  all  woollen,  if  you  would  have  the  best 
protection. 


70  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

In  the  British  army  and  navy  they  make  the  wear- 
ing of  flannel  a  point  of  discipline.  During  the  hot 
season  the  ship's  doctor  makes  a  daily  examination  of 
the  men  at  unexpected  hours,  to  make  sure  that  they 
have  not  left  off  their  flannels. 


HORSEBACK  IN  WINTER. 

I  SEE  no  reason  why  you  may  not  continue  to  ride 
on  horseback  all  winter.  The  "  saddle  "  is  warm  work, 
and  if  you  dress  your  legs  in  two  thicknesses  of  woollen 
drawers,  one  thickness  of  chamois-skin,  and  thick  pants, 
and  give  the  same  thorough  protection  to  the  feet,  —  in 
brief,  if  you  will  give  yourself  dress  enough,  not  only 
can  you  ride  all '  winter  in  the  coldest  weather  and 
through  all  the  storms  without  suffering,  but  with  posi- 
tive enjoyment  and  great  profit.  I  think  the  saddle- 
horse  is  a  more  profitable  institution  during  the  cold 
than  the  hot  season. 


NAMES   OF   OUR  MALADIES. 

A  CORRESPONDENT  tells  me  that  one  physician  says 
he  has  "  colonic  dyspepsia  " ;  another  says  he  has  "  gas- 
tric difficulty " ;  No.  3  says  it  is  "  irritation  of  the 
mucous  membrane  and  disordered  liver,"  etc.     And  he 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  71 

closes  his  four  pages  with  these  words,  "hoping  you 
will  give  me  a  name  for  my  complaint,"  etc. 

Nothing  surprises  me  more  than  the  eagerness,  the 
feverish  anxiety,  people  show  about  the  names  of  their 
maladies.  When  I  remember  that  the  name  of  a  mal- 
ady means  little  or  nothing,  even  to  a  doctor,  after  he 
has  spent  a  lifetime  in  studying  the  nomenclature  of 
his  profession,  it  is  really  curious  that  the  people  should 
be  so  solicitous  about  the  name.  One  doctor  has  told 
a  patient  that  his  trouble  is  "  colonic  dyspepsia  ! "  Now, 
does  he  know  anything  more  about  it  than  he  did  be- 
fore ?  Another  tells  him  it  is  a  "  gastric  difficulty  ! "  I 
wonder  how  much  information  he  gets  from  that  diag- 
nosis. And  the  third  doctor  tells  him  "  irritation  of  the 
mucous  membrane,"  etc.  Does  that  give  him  any  no- 
tion of  his  malady  ?  I  presume  he  has  all  these  diffi- 
culties, and  that  every  other  part  of  his  body  is  out  of 
condition ;  for  when  one  member  suffers,  all  the  other 
members  must  suffer  with  it.  I  have  no  doubt  that  at 
least  one  hundred  names  of  maladies  might  be  truth- 
fully applied  to  his  case.  But  of  what  possible  use  or 
satisfaction  can  this  sort  of  thing  be  to  him  ?  He  is  not 
well ;  that  fact  is  to  him  an  important  and  interesting 
one.  The  only  other  question  in  which  a  sensible  man 
can  feel  any  interest  is.  What  ivill  cure  him  ?  A  lady 
who  employed  a  homoeopathic  doctor  heard  him  repeat 
the  law  of  that  school  of  medicine,  similia  similibus 


72  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

eurardur,  and  she  understood  it  to  be  his  name  for  her 
malady.  So  she  went  about  among  her  friends,  saying, 
"  Thank  goodness,  I  have  found  out  at  last  the  name  of 
my  disease,  —  it  is  the  simdlia  similibus  curantur.  Now 
I  begin  to  see  my  way  clear.  Dr.  B.  told  me  it  was 
nothing  but  debility.  That  shows  how  much  he  knows ! 
Dr.  W.  said  it  was  indigestion.  That  shows  how  much 
he  knows !  Dr.  S.  told  me  it  was  similia  similibtis  cu- 
raTvtur  just  as  soon  £is  he  saw  me.  Don't  tell  me  these 
homoeopathic  doctors  are  ignorant ! "  I  wonder  if  this 
woman  had  not  as  clear  a  notion  of  her  malady  as  my 
correspondent  has  with  the  "irritation  of  the  mucous 
membrane."     I  rather  think  she  has. 

I  saw  a  bit  of  nonsense  in  the  paper  the  other  day 
which  I  thought  good  in  the  way  of  a  name  for  a 
malady. 

"Yes,"  said  Bolus,  rolling  his  eyes  heavenward, — 
"  yes,  I  do  say  so ;  there  ain't  no  hope :  he 's  got  an 
attack  of  nihil  fit  in  his  lost  frontis." 

"  Where  ? "  cried  the  startled  wife. 

"  In  his  lost  frontis ;  and  he  can't  be  cured  without 
some  trouble  and  a  great  deal  of  pains.  You  see  his 
whole  planetaiy  system  is  deranged.  Firstly,  his  vox 
populi  is  pressin'  on  his  ad  valorem ;  secondly,  his  cuta- 
carpial  cutaneous  has  swelled  considerably,  if  not  more ; 
thirdly,  his  solar  ribs  are  in  a  concussed  state;  and, 
finally,  he,  ain't  got  any  riioney,  and  consequently  he  is 
hound  to  die." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  73 

I  will  not  say  that  this  doctor's  diagnosis  was  as  sci- 
entific as  some  I  have  heard,  but  I  think  the  friends 
of  the  sick  man  got  quite  as  distinct  a  notion  as  people 
generally  obtain  from  the  technical  names  which  are 
given  them. 


CEREBRO-SPINAL  MENINGITIS. 

It  is  almost  worth  while  being  sick,  if  one  can  only 
have  a  malady  with  a  fine  name.  A  lady  came  to  me, 
perhaps  a  year  ago,  and  gravely  told  me,  "  I  am  suffer- 
ing from  polarization  of  the  cerebro-spinal  axis."  She 
was  sure  this  was  her  malady.  A  certain  doctor  who 
was  educated  in  Europe  had  carefully  examined  her 
case,  and  assured  her  that  the  malady  was  "  polariza- 
tion of  the  cerebro-spinal  axis."  The  doctor  advised  a 
European  trip,  with  the  use  of  iodide  of  potassium  and 
bromide  of  potassium.  She  wished  me  to  examine  her 
case  and  tell  her  what  I  thought  of  it.  After  a  few  in- 
quiries, I  said,  "  It 's  the  backache.  You  must  take  off 
your  corsets,  keep  your  feet  warm,  and  go  to  bed  at  nine 
o'clock."  She  soon  got  well,  but  I  think  was  never 
altogether  satisfied  with  giving  up  that  grand  name  for 
plain  backache,  or  with  exchanging  iodide  of  potassium 
for  abandonment  of  corset,  or  bromide  of  potassium  for 
bed  at  nine  o'clock. 

Cerebro-spinal   meningitis   is  not,  as  many   people 


74  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

seem  to  thiDk,  a  specific  disease,  like  small-pox,  but 
exhaustion  accompanied  by  irritation  or  inflammation 
of  the  membranes  of  the  brain  and  spinal  cord.  It  is  a 
logical  result  of  our  past  mode  of  life.  We  breathe  a 
bad  air,  live  in  the  shade,  neglect  exercise,  keep  bad 
hours,  and  rush  things  generally.  Naturally,  our  heads 
and  backs  become  exhausted,  and  one  now  and  then 
takes  on  a  little  congestion  of  those  parts  and  dies. 
The  same  disease  has  prevailed  among  the  exhausted  for 
hundreds  of  years,  but  now  a  new  and  grand  name  has 
been  invented  for  it.  No  one  who  leads  a  sensible  life 
will  be  likely  to  suffer  from  an  attack  of  this  malady. 


IS  NT?  IT  CURIOUS? 

My  dear  friend  Dr.  M.  was  one  of  the  most  acute 
physicians  I  have  ever  known.  His  diagnosis  seemed 
often  to  verge  upon  clairvoyance.  A  peculiar  kind  of 
sore  throat  prevailed  during  the  winter  of  '68.  It  was 
a  modified  diphtheria.  Not  many  died,  but  the  affec- 
tion was  most  disagreeable,  and  cases  often  lasted 
several  weeks.  Dr.  M.  prescribed  for  nearly  two 
hundred.  I  asked  him  about  his  prescriptions.  He 
described  his  usual  course,  and  I  saw  that  it  involved 
quite  a  number  of  drugs.  Happening  to  call  at  the 
doctor's  one  evening,  I  learned  that  Mrs.  M.  and  the 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  75 

four  children  had  all  been  seized  with  the  prevailing 
epidemic.  The  doctor  soon  returned  and  I  said,  point- 
ing to  his  sick  group,  — 

"  More  business,  doctor  ? " 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  M.,  "  but  he  never  gives  us  any- 
thing." 

"  How  is  this,  doctor  ? "  I  asked. 

"  If  my  family  were  the  family  of  some  one  else,"  he 
replied,  "  I  should  prescribe  fifty  times  or  more,  and 
make  a  bill  of  a  hundred  dollars ;  but  as  I  am  satisfied 
that  warm  extremities,  a  good  atmosphere,  and  very 
simple  food  is  all  there  is  of  it,  I  shall  not  afflict  my 
family  with  doses  and  caustic." 

I  learned,  upon  a  subsequent  inquiry,  that  the  doc- 
tor's family  took  no  drugs,  and  he  assured  me  that  they 
did  better  than  the  average.  I  urged  the  doctor  to 
give  me  his  candid  opinion  about  it,  and  he  confessed 
that  he  thought  medical  treatment  generally  interfered 
with  the  recovery  of  the  patient.  When  I  asked  him 
how  he  could  conscientiously  go  on,  he  replied,  "I 
have  thought  of  this  matter  very  seriously  for  years, 
and  have  concluded  that  I  must  take  the  world  as 
it  is,  and  not  as  the  ideal  world  of  which  I  some- 
times dream.  The  people  will  be  doctored,  and  I  hon- 
estly believe  that  I  hurt  them  less  than  most  physi- 
cians, and  that,  if  they  were  to  pass  out  of  my  hands, 
they  might  go  into  those  of  others  who  would  injure 


76  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

them  more.  My  family  must  have  a  support.  I  am  a 
doctor.  Now  you  have  my  reasoning.  Knowing  what 
I  do,  I  should  not  choose  the  profession  of  medicine  if 
I  could  start  in  life  again;  but  it  is  too  late  to  con- 
sider that,  and  all  that  is  left  to  me  is  to  do  as  little 
harm  and  as  much  good  as  possible." 

I  said,  "It  seems  to  me  that  no  profession  offers 
such  an  opportunity  for  usefulness  as  the  medical ;  and 
if  I  could  start  in  life  a  himdred  times,  I  should  choose 
it  every  time.  But  I  would  not  drug  my  patients.  I 
would  convince  them  that  drugs  were  poisons,  and 
spend  my  life  teaching  the  people  how  to  avoid  dis- 
ease." 

"  0  yes,"  said  Dr.  M.  "  I  have  cherished  such 
an  ambition  at  various  times  during  my  professional 
career,  and  I  have  tried  it  among  the  more  intelligent 
of  my  patients.  I  will  give  you  a  case.  You  remem- 
ber Mrs,  D.,  the  writer?  Well,  she  came  here  to 
spend  the  summer  with  her  sister,  and  soon  after 
her  arrival  suffered  the  severest  attack  of  neuralgia 
I  have  ever  witnessed.  I  made  hot  applications  to 
the  back  of  her  neck  and  the  side  of  her  face  till  she 
was  comfortable ;  and,  giving  her  a  few  doses  of  sooth- 
ing medicine,  I  left,  with  the  promise  to  call  in  the 
morning.  I  found  her  quite  easy,  and  resolved  not  to 
drug  her  exquisite  brain  any  more.  I  directed  the, 
nursing,  and  at  the  end  of  about  a  week  she  was  well. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  "J^J 

Then  I  told  her  how  she  might  avoid  all  future  attacks. 
At  her  request  I  wrote  out  the  suggested  regimen. 
She  paid  me  forty  dollars.  I  believe  that  was  six  years 
ago.  She  has  spent  a  portion  of  every  summer  since 
in  this  neighborhood.  I  met  her  the  other  day,  and 
she  told  me  that  she  had  not  suffered  a  single  attack 
from  her  old  enemy  since  she  began  to  follow  my  ad- 
vice, and  that  she  was  greatly  indebted  to  me.  Now, 
sir,  that  advice  cost  me  probably  more  than  two  hun- 
dred dollars.  I  could  go  around  among  my  -  patients 
and  talk  to  them  about  the  laws  of  health  in  a  way 
which  would  simply  destroy  my  means  of  living.  I 
could  not  buy  bread  and  clothes  for  my  children.  I 
have  no  doubt  it  would  be  very  noble  and  philanthropic, 
and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  but  I  can't  afford  it,  and 
have  made  up  my  mind  not  to  go  into  any  moral  hero- 
ics and  play  the  reformer,  but  do  as  well  as  I  can  under 
the  circumstances,  always  making  sure  that  my  wife 
and  children  have  something  to  eat.  Whatever  may 
come,  that  is  my  first  duty.  Besides  all  this,  if  I  were 
to  pursue  this  reformer  policy,  my  professional  brethren 
would  call  me  a  quack ;  and  when  that  cry  gets  started, 
even  the  people  whom  I  have  served  well  would  for- 
sake me.  No,  my  friend,"  said  Dr.  M.  to  me,  "  I  am 
not  made  of  the  great  reformer  stuff,  and  must  get 
along  in  the  old  orthodox  way." 


78  FIVE-MINVTE  CHATS. 


DOCTORS  PAINTED  BY  ONE  OF  THEMSELVES. 

One  of  the  cleverest  of  our  medical  writers  thus 
frankly  expresses  his  opiaion  of  his  own  craft,  and 
of  medicine-taking  generally.  "  I  declare,"  says  Dr. 
James  Johnson,  "  my  conscientious  opinion,  founded  on 
long  observation  and  reflection,  that  if  there  was  not  a 
single  physician,  surgeon,  apothecary,  man-midwife, 
chemist,  druggist,  or  drug  on  the  face  of  the  earth, 
there  would  be  less  sickness  and  less  mortality  than 
now  obtains.  When  we  reflect  that  physic  is  a  '  crni- 
jectural  artl  that  the  best  physicians  make  mistakes, 
that  medicine  is  administered  by  hosts  of  quacks,  that 
it  is  swallowed  by  multitudes  of  people  without  any 
professional  advice  at  all,  and  that  the  world  would  be 
infinitely  more  careful  of  themselves  if  they  were  con- 
scious that  they  had  no  remedy  from  drugs,  these  and 
many  other  facts  will  show  that  the  proposition  I  have 
made  is  more  startling  than  untrue.  But,  as  it  is, 
drugs  will  be  swallowed  by  all  classes,  rich  and  poor, 
with  the  hope  of  regaining  health  and  prolonging  life, 
and  also  with  the  expectation  of  being  able  to  counter- 
act the  culpable  indulgence  of  the  appetites  and  pas- 
sions." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  79 


HOW  TO  GAIN  A  REPUTATION. 

Nothing  helps  a  doctor  like  mysteries.  A  man  has 
a  pain  in  the  head  and  back.  He  calls  on  the  doctor. 
He  explains  his  symptoms.  Now,  suppose  the  doctor 
says,  "  Yes,  I  see.  Pain  in  the  head  and  back,  —  tired. 
You,  sir,  must  rest ;  go  to  bed  early  for  a  few  evenings ; 
you  must  let  up,  —  rest !  You  are  exhausted,  that 's 
all."  Now,  that  won't  satisfy  you  ;  there  is  no  science 
about  that.  You  know  all  that  yourself.  You  went 
to  the  doctor  to  learn  something  about  your  case,  and 
if  all  he  can  tell  you  is,  that  you  are  tired  and  have  got 
the  backache,  what 's  the  use  of  the  accumulated  medi- 
cal wisdom  of  three  thousand  years  ?  Any  child  could 
tell  you  that  you  are  tired  and  have  the  backache. 

But  suppose  the  doctor  carefully  examines  the  back 
of  your  head,  and  your  spine,  and  asks  a  dozen  ques- 
tions about  the  precise  location  of  the  pain,  what  time 
in  the  day  it  appears,  etc.,  all  sorts  of  nice,  ingenious 
questions,  and  then,  after  some  moments  of  profound 
thought,  he  tells  you  that  he  ie  sorry  to  say  that  this  is 
a  rare  case.  It  is  exactly  like  one  reported  by  a  distin- 
guished German  physiologist.  The  sufferer  was  a  well- 
known  military  man.  The  doctor  then  proceeds  to 
write  a  prescription  in  Latin.  There  are  half  a  dozen 
ingredients,  and  he  informs  you  that  the  prescription  is 


80  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

an  exact  duplicate  of  that  which  was  used  for  the  Ger- 
man general,  with  the  exception  of  a  single  ingredient, 
which  he  adds  because  of  the  difference  in  climate. 
Now,  don't  you  know  that  you  rather  think  that  this 
doctor  knows  what 's  what  ?  And  although  you  "  con- 
found his  big  names  and  Latin  nonsense,"  still  it  looks 
as  though  the  accumulated  wisdom  of  the  three  thou- 
sand years  was  something  after  all.  At  any  rate,  this 
cerebro-spinal  axis  doctor  is  miles  ahead  of  the  back- 
ache chap. 

And  yet  he  was  not  happy.  —  In  1871,  Dr.  Wil- 
liams sued  the  Cambrian  Railway  Company  for  ser- 
vices rendered  to  Mr.  Dashwood  and  Miss  Dashwood, 
who  had  been  injured  on  defendant's  road.  By  request 
of  the  defendant,  the  plaintiff  submitted  the  particidars, 
and  swore  to  their  correctness.  Among  the  items  for 
Mr.  Dashwood  were  755  doses  of  medicine,  73  lotions, 
and  100  pills  and  powders,  in  seven  weeks. 


The  way  to  cultivate  a  good  walk  is  to  swing  your 
arms  freely  and  practise  carrying  a  weight  on  your 
head.  Let  it  be  some  heavy  weight  like  a  foot-square 
bag  filled  with  grain.  When  about  your  house,  carry 
this  half  an  hour  morning  and  evening,  swinging  your 
arms  freely  while  walking  with  the  weight. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  ^1 


HOW  MUCH  SHALL  WE  EAT? 

Sir  James  Claeke  thought  that  one  of  the  most 
fruitful  sources  of  consumption  was  excessive  eating. 
He  says,  "By  a  too  stimulating  diet  the  stomach 
becomes  disordered,  the  secretions  impaired,-  the 
circulation  unbalanced,  the  skin  dry  and  harsh ; 
and  often,  as  a  consequence,  tuberculous  disease 
results." 

An  eminent  American  author  affirms  that,  "where 
all  the  arts  of  cookery  are  brought  into  requisition  to 
tempt  the  appetite,  it  not  unfrequently  produces  con- 
sumption." And  again,  "  Superabundant  and  exciting 
food  produces  a  morbid  condition  of  the  body,  and  de- 
rangement of  its  functions,  rapidly  wasting  its  vitality. 
Children  overfed  are  never  healthy.  Their  excessive 
fulness  and  redness  of  face,  though  often  exhibited 
by  fond  parents  with  pride,  indicate  an  unhealthy 
condition.  If  there  is  the  least  consumptive  taint, 
such  feeding  hastens  it  into  activity."  Again  he  says, 
"  It  is  a  false  notion  that  the  scrofulous  and  tuberculous 
require  high  feeding.  This  often  develops  the  very 
evil  it  is  designed  to  remedy." 

Dr.  Hunt  declares,  "  Our  own  nation  is  proverbial 
for  gormandizing,  which  is  already  beginning  to  dete- 
riorate the  energies  of  the  American  people." 

4* 


82  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Dr.  Muzzey  says,  "  Much  feeding  is  likely  to  be  fol- 
lowed by  disease." 

Lola  Montez  declares  that  "the  ordinary  fare  of  a 
fashionable  lady  is  sufficient  to  destroy  the  brightest 
and  smoothest  skin." 

I  could  quote  from  a  great  number  of  well-known 
physicians  in  the  same  vein. 

Hovj  shall  we  determine  the  necessary  quantity  of 
food? 

Dr.  Phillips  and  Dr.  Paris  recommend  that  "the 
dyspeptic  should  carefully  attend  to  the  first  feeling  of 
satiety." 

A  score  of  eminent  physiologists  have  advised  weigh- 
ing the  food. 

Professor  Hitchcock  advises  that  we  should  eat  only 
of  one  dish,  or,  as  he  explains  it  afterward,  oTie  course. 
,  The  celebrated  Dr.  Johnson  offers  the  following  on 
this  point:  "Whenever  a  meal  is  followed  by  an  in- 
aptitude for  mental  or  corporeal  exertion,  we  have 
transgressed  the  rules  of  health,  and  are  laying  the 
foundation  for  disease." 

The  famous  Dr.  Cheyne  says,  "  If  any  man  has  eaten 
or  drunk  so  much  as  renders  him  unfit  for  the  duties 
and  studies  of  his  profession,  he  has  overeaten." 

Many  expedients  have  been  resorted  to  to  assist  in 
securing  moderation ;  but,  when  the  food  is  good  and 
the  social  atmosphere  pleasant,  nine  people  in  ten  go 
too  far. 


FIVE-MINUTE  OH  ATS.  83 

I  have  a  rule  which  has  proved  valuable.  I  have 
recommended  it  to  many  others,  to  whom  it  has  like- 
wise proved  of  great  value.  It  is  this:  "Before  you 
take  the  first  mouthful,  place  upon  your  plate  all  you 
are  to  eat,  and  eat  but  twice  a  day." 

This,  for  the  most  obvious  reasons,  is  greatly  superior 
to  any  of  the  rules  I  have  named,  and,  I  may  add,  to 
all  that  have  been  given.  This  rule  accomplishes  all 
that  the  practice  of  weighing  does,  without  the  embar- 
rassment and  annoyance  which  weighing  involves.  It 
is  better  than  the  rule  of  Dr.  Johnson  and  others, 
namely,  watching  while  you  are  eating  for  the  first  in- 
dication of  satiety,  for  it  is  simply  impossible  for  a  dys- 
peptic, with  his  morbid  appetite,  to  watch,  or  halt  when 
he  does  discover  that  the  food  fails  to  give  the  gratifica- 
tion of  the  first  moment.  This  is  indeed  the  great  diffi- 
culty, —  to  use  calm  judgment  and  moral  firmness  in 
the  midst  of  tlie  pleasures  of  a  delicious  meal.  I  am 
free  to  confess  that  I  have  rarely  done  it  myself,  and 
think  I  may  without  harsh  judgment  say  I  do  not 
know  of  half  a  dozen  persons  who  can. 

Besides,  with  this  rule,  you  always  avoid  the  dessert, 
and  the  condiments,  which,  in  the  shape  of  extra  salt, 
mustard,  pepper,  etc.,  are  almost  sure  to  find  their  way 
to  your  plate  during  the  meal.  What  an  immense  gain 
it  would  prove  to  us  all  if  the  dessert  could  be  abolished ! 
Ninety-nine  people  in  a  hundred  get  enough,  and  most 
of  them  too  mucli,  before  reacliiug  it. 


84  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

A  gentleman  who  has  for  many  years  been  a  con- 
stant sufferer  from  excessive  eating — body  and  mind 
always  in  an  irritable  condition — has  relieved  himself 
entirely  through  the  rule  I  have  named,  and  writes 
with  enthusiasm,  "I  believe  that  a  large  number  of 
persons  are  prepared  to  give  with  heartiness  the  same 
testimony." 

I  CANNOT  say  that  you  should  never  drink  at  meal- 
time. You  may  drink  if  you  are  thirsty.  If  you  are 
really  thirsty,  or  if  your  system  needs  water,  you  should 
take  it  before  you  begin  to  eat,  or  you  may  take  it  while 
you  are  eating.  But  you  must  be  sure  that  it  is  not  a 
mere  habit  of  drinking  to  swallow  the  food,  as  that  is  a 
very  bad  habit.  If  you  are  really  thirsty,  the  water  will 
be  pumped  out  of  your  stomach  in  a  very  ffew  moments, 
and  the  process  of  digestion  will  go  on. 


Ice-cream  is  not  particularly  bad,  if  it  be  eaten 
very  slowly.  If  the  question  is,  "Does  ice-cream 
belong  to  the  best  class  of  foods  ? "  I  should  say  no. 
The  best  class  of  food  includes  the  grains,  meats 
with  cooked  vegetables,  and  fruits.  If  one  wishes  to 
eat  so  as  to  get  the  most  enjoyment  and  work  out 
of  his  body,  let  him  confine  himself  to  the  best 
class.  A  great  many  people  are  constantly  prospect- 
ing about  the  great  field  of  possible  foods,  as  if  it 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  85 

were  their  mission  to  investigate  the  whole  subject 
for  the  good  of  the  race. 


New  Beead.  —  I  have  recently  had  my  attention 
drawn  to  the  unwholesomeness  of  new  bread.  I  am  sat- 
isfied that  new  bread  raised  with  yeast  is  about  the 
most  unwholesome  article  of  food  that  we  eat.  To  many 
persons  it  is  worse  even  than  mince-pie,  ounce  for 
ounce.  Bread  should  be  at  least  twenty-four  hours  old 
before  it  goes  into  the  stomach. 


A  SCROFULOUS  person  should  eat  beef,  mutton, 
cracked  wheat,  and  oatmeal,  and  avoid  trash  of  any 
kind  whatever.  The  food  should  be  eaten  slowly,  and 
thoroughly  masticated.  The  supper  should  be  very 
small,  or  if  possible  take  nothing  for  the  third  meaL 


"  Johnny,  my  dear,  can't  you  eat  some  more  ? " 

"  No,  mother ;  I  am  so  full,  I  can't  swallow  another 
mouthful." 

"  Johnny,  could  n't  you  eat  a  little  more  if  you  were 
to  stand  up  ? " 

Not  only  do  mothers  stuff  their  children  into  fevers 
and  bowel  diseases,  and  numberless  other  troubles,  but 
they  lay  the  foundation  for  that  craving  appetite  which 
in  all  their  future  life  leads  to  so  much  mischief. 


86  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

The  cure  is  to  be  found  in  extremely  plain  food. 
Little  Carrie  comes  to  see  us  occasionally,  and  I  am 
always  interested  with  the  wise  mother's  management 
of  her  food.  From  the  beginning  she  has  given  her 
bread  without  butter,  and  potatoes  without  butter.  Her 
favorite  dinner  is  boiled  mealy  potatoes,  and  nothing 
on  or  with  them ;  no  cake,  or  pie,  or  sweetmeats.  The 
child  is  perfectly  satisfied,  and  is  a  wonder  of  health 
and  strength. 


FAT  FOLKS  AND  THIN  FOLKS. 

C^SAR  says  to  Antony,  — 

"  Let  me  have  men  about  me  that  are  fat, 
Sleek-headed  men,  and  such  as  sleep  o'  nights  ; 
Yon  Cassius  has  a  lean  and  hungry  look, 
He  thinks  too  much  ;  such  men  are  dangerous." 

A  story  is  told  of  an  Irish  tallow-chandler  who  made 
candles  with  the  fat  of  Englishmen  during  Cromwell's 
invasion.  His  candles  were  remarkably  good.  When 
the  times  became  more  tranquil,  his  customers  com- 
plained that  his  candles  fell  off  in  quality.  He  apolo- 
gized by  saying,  "  I  am  sorry  to  inform  you  that  the 
times  are  so  bad  that  I  have  been  short  of  Englishmen 
a  long  time." 

Obesity  has  been  regarded  in  all  ages,  and  by  nearly 
all  people,  as  a  great  misfortune.     Some  of  the  Gentoos 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  87 

enter  their  dwellings  by  a  hole  in  the  roof,  and  if  a 
person  is  so  fat  that  he  can't  get  in,  they  regard  him  as 
an  outlaw,  swelled  out  big  with  sin.  In  China  obesity 
is  considered  a  blessing.  In  that  great  country  a  man's 
mind  is  measured  by  his  corporeal  bulk. 

Over  Dr.  Stafford,  who  was  enormously  fat,  they 
placed  the  following  epitaph:  — 

"Take  heed,  0  good  traveller,  and  do  not  tread  hard, 
For  here  lies  Dr.  Stafford,  in  all  this  churchyard." 

Over  a  corpulent  chandler  they  inscribed :  — 

"Here  lies  in  earth  an  honest  fellow, 
Who  died  by  fat,  and  lived  by  tallow." 

Dr.  Beddoes  was  so  stout  that  a  lady  friend  used  to 
caU  him  the  "  walking  feather-bed." 

At  the  court  of  Louis  XV.  there  were  two  very  fat 
noblemen,  —  cousins.  The  king  rallied  one  of  them  on 
his  corpulency,  and  added,  "  I  suppose  you  take  little 
or  no  exercise  ?  " 

"  Your  Majesty  will  pardon  me,"  replied  the  Duke, 
"  for  I  generally  walk  two  or  three  times  around  my 
cousin  every  morning." 

Many  remedies  have  been  resorted  to :  vinegar  and 
other  acids  have  been  used.  Dr.  Fleming  advised  the 
swallowing  of  a  quarter  of  an  ounce  of  common  Castile 
soap  every  night.  Darwin  thinks  that  salt  and  salt 
meat  are  efficacious. 


88  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Mr.  Banting,  an  Englishman,  became  very  fat,  and 
strove  by  all  sorts  of  means  to  rid  himseK  of  his  en- 
cumbrance, and  at  length  hit  upon  a  method,  which 
he  took  great  pains  to  recommend  to  others.  This  was 
to  live  exclusively  on  meat.  In  1863,  Mr.  Banting 
published  a  pamphlet  giving  the  secret  of  his  relief 
He  tells  us  that  the  sorts  of  food  which  he  particularly 
advises  fat  people  to  avoid  are  "  butter,  sugar,  potatoes, 
nulk,  and  beer."  He  urges  that  there  need  be  no  stint 
in  quantity.  The  only  thing  requiring  attention  is  the 
quality.  He  argues  with  much  force  and  spirit  against 
sugar  and  other  sweet  things.  He  thinks  that  saccharine 
matter  is  of  all  food  most  fattening.  Banting's  system 
has  attracted  considerable  attention.  Thousands  of  the 
waddling  Germans  have  tried  it,  but  now  few  believe 
in  it ;  not  that  it  will  not  reduce  the  flesh,  —  for  it  wiU 
certainly  do  that,  —  but  because  it  reduces  it  by  pro- 
ducing a  diseased  condition,  particularly  of  the  kidneys. 
Many  grave  cases  of  disease  of  the  kidneys  produced  by 
the  Banting  system  are  reported  from  Germany. 

The  only  safe  and  effective  treatment  of  obesity  is  a 
reduction  in  the  quantity  of  the  usual  food,  an  increase 
of  exercise,  and  a  reduction  of  the  hours  of  sleep.  This 
should  be  gradually  pushed  until  the  reduction  in 
weight  is  one  to  two  pounds  a  week.  This  cannot  fail, 
and  will  invariably  improve  the  health. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  89 

CHATS  WITH  YOUNG  FOLKS  ABOUT  AMUSE- 
MENTS. 

I  THINK  that  theatres  are  the  most  popular  of 
the  city  anmsements.  They  are  very  numerous  and 
very  grand.  The  newspapers,  fences,  and  buildings 
are  covered  with  descriptions  of  them.  A  great  num- 
ber of  well-paid  people  perform  in  them,  and  fortunes 
are  realized  by  the  proprietors.  Nearly  all  this  ocean 
of  money  which  pours  into  the  coffers  of  the  theatres 
comes  from  the  pockets  of  young  people  who  are  so 
hungry  for  amusements. 

I  have  attended  the  theatre  several  times  lately  to 
observe.  The  young  folks  don't  seem  very  happy. 
Getting  into  a  position  where  I  could  watch  their 
faces,  I  have  not  been  able  to  detect  much  real  enjoy- 
ment. Indeed,  after  the  first  hour  they  looked  dull 
and  dissatisfied.  At  the  close  I  have  placed  myself 
in  the  lobby  and"  listened  to  their  remarks  as  they 
passed  out.     They  have  not  enjoyed  it. 

There  is  so  little  genuine  pleasure  in  the  theatre, 
that  I  wonder  that  our  young  people  continue  to  flock 
to  it.  It  is  not  my  purpose  to  discuss  the  large  expense 
nor  the  morals  of  the  theatre.  I  am  only  considering 
what  are  its  claims  as  a  place  of  amusement.  I  do  not 
urge  the  execrable  atmosphere  which  one  must  breathe 
for  hours,  and  which  always  leaves  one's  brain  a  little 


90  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

muddled  the  next  day  or  longer.  I  only  ask.  Does 
the  theatre  really  satisfy  the  longing  for  amusement 
among  the  young?  It  seems  to  me  that  the  unprej- 
udiced observer  must  conclude  that  it  is  a  dull,  stu- 
pid, unsatisfactory  institution.  Its  immense  patronage 
shows  how  poor  are  our  resources. 

Let  us  see.  There 's  dancing.  Nothing  could  be 
more  delightful.  But  tlien  they  have  so  abused  it  that 
aU  good  people  oppose  it.  They  dance  at  such  un- 
seasonable hours,  and  then  several  concomitants  of 
the  ballroom  are  so  bad,  that  good  people  denounce 
dancing  itself.  If  dancing  could  be  generally  managed 
as  it  was  at  the  Lexington  institution,  —  begun  at  half 
past  seven  o'clock  each  evening,  and  closed  at  half  past 
eight  o'clock,  and  engaged  in  without  a  change  of  dress, 
—  no  one  would  find  evil  in  it,  and  it  would  become 
the  most  delightful  family  and  neighborhood  amuse- 
ment imaginable.  The  old  and  young,  parents  and 
children,  mingle  in  a  most  charming  spirit.  It  is  the 
best  school  of  graceful  manners,  and  is,  altogether,  if 
managed  wisely,  the  very  best  of  the  amusements. 
My  mother  taught  me  that  dancing  was  a  dreadful  sin. 
She  would  exclaim,  "  0,  they  dance  their  way  down  to 
hell ! "  I  did  not  really  find  out  that  she  was  mistaken 
tiU  I  was  more  than  thirty  years  old,  but  since  then  I 
have  tried  to  make  up  for  lost  time,  though  I  have 
never  attended  a  ball  in  my  life. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  91 

Battledore  and  graces  are  capital  fun  and  exercise 
for  in-doors,  and  ball  —  base-ball  especially  —  and  cro- 
quet are  fine  out-door  amusements.  And  then  these 
delightful  books !  How  any  one,  even  boys  and  girls, 
can  be  drawn  to  the  theatre  when  they  have  Dickens, 
Eggleston,  Bret  Harte,  and  Mark  Twain  at  home  sur- 
prises me ! 

The  other  night  I  asked  a  number  of  young  people 
to  drop  in  at  our  rooms,  and  hear  Cornelia  read  a  few 
chapters  from  Mr.  Eggleston's  last  story.  They  were 
just  the  sort  of  young  folks  that  you  see  running  about 
the  streets  a  little  after  seven  o'clock  every  evening  in 
eager  pursuit  of  amusements.  As  soon  as  they  all 
arrived,  I  said,  "  Now  arrange  yourselves  to  your  lik- 
ing, pairing  off  just  to  suit  you."  At  nine  o'clock  I 
suggested  an  adjournment.  "  No,  no  ! "  was  heard 
from  every  part  of  the  house.  At  ten  o'clock  I  refused 
to  have  our  reader  taxed  any  further,  and  then  they 
were  interrogated  about  their  enjoyment  of  the  evening. 

"  I  never,  never  enjoyed  an  evening  so  in  all  my 
life,"  was  the  general  testimony. 

"  Would  you  like  to  come  again  ? " 

"  0,  please,  to-morrow  night !  " 

The  next  night  they  were  all  there,  and  several  extra 
ones  were  brought  along. 

"You  don't  mean  to  say  that  you  have  enjoyed  this 
as  well  as  the  theatre  ?  " 


92  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

"  Yes,  a  million  times  better,"  said  one  enthusiastic 
girl.  . 

Skating  is  fashionable.  It  is  a  good  exercise  if  taken 
in  the  open  air.  The  rink  is  a  rather  doubtful  institu- 
tion. The  atmosphere,  without  sunshine,  gives  a  good 
many  colds.     The  rink  will  quickly  pass  out  of  fashion. 

As  a  means  of  exercise,  battledore  or  graces  or  bean- 
bags  are  worth  ten  times  as  much  as  skating  under 
even  the  most  favorable  circumstances.  What  you 
want  is  something  for  the  arms  and  chest,  and  not  more 
for  the  legs.  Let  girls  play  these  fine  arm  and  chest 
games  during  the  cold  season  in  the  largest  room  in  the 
house,  with  open  windows.  And,  dear  girls,  loosen  the 
strings  and  give  your  lungs  fair  play. 


BASE-BALL. 

A  CAPITAL  exercise.  A  charming  recreation.  Activ- 
ity, endurance,  quick  eyes,  steady  nerves,  pluck,  force, 
—  these  are  all  wonderfully  reinforced  by  this  game. 
What  a  pity  that  it  should  fall  into  the  hands  of  gam- 
blers !  Only  five  years  ago  thousands  of  our  best 
young  men  were  members  of  base-ball  clubs.  Now 
they  have  retired  from  the  field,  or  perhaps  they  go  to 
witness  matches  between  peregrinating  professionals, 
who  play  for  a  purse  and  the  championship.     Then  it 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  93 

was  simply  a  means  of  health  and  innocent  enjoyment. 
Now  thousands  of  dollars  are  bet  upon  a  match  be- 
tween the  "  Eed  Legs "  and  the  "  Green  Legs."  It 
would  be  worth  more  than  a  constitutional  amendment 
if  we  could  go  back  to  the  true  uses  of  this  national 
game. 


PELEG  STANDISH. 

This  gentleman  was  born  of  parents  in  New  Hamp- 
shire, and  came  to  the  city  to  seek  his  fortime  twenty 
years  ago.  Peleg  was  then  twenty  years  old.  He 
prospered.  At  forty  he  was  rich.  He  retired.  I  don't 
speak  of  his  going  to  bed.  He  retired  from  business. 
Then  he  went  to  Europe.  Five  years  was  the  time 
named  when  he  left,  —  one  year  in  Great  Britain,  one 
in  France,  one  in  Eome,  and  two  in  Germany  to  finish 
the  education  of  his  daughters.  After  four  months 
they  returned,  and  Mr.  Standish  called  upon  me  with 
reference  to  his  health. 

"I  have  caught  the  dyspepsia,"  was  his  opinion. 
Mr.  Standish  is  a  particularly  bright  man,  and  seems  to 
know  when  he  is  comfortable.  In  the  course  of  a  long 
conversation  he  gives  me  his  opinion  of  going  to 
Europe. 

"  0,  it 's  joUy ! "  he  said.  "  It 's  delightful.  There  is 
nothing  like  it.     In  the  first  place,  you  gasp  for  two 


94  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

weeks  in  a  dry-goods  box  without  any  hole  in  it,  mis- 
erably sick,  your  wife  sick,  your  daughter  sick,  vomit- 
ing, retching,  groaning.  Your  wife  cries  out,  'Peleg, 
O  Peleg,  can't  you  do  something  for  Mary?  0  dear 
me  !  that  poor  child  will  die,  I  am  sure !  O  mercy, 
do  hear  her  ! '  Such  are  the  delights  of  a  trip  across 
the  ocean.  You  go  to  France.  Now,  the  French  jab- 
ber is  all  very  well,  I  have  no  doubt,  to  those  who  get 
the  hang  of  it.  My  girls  thought  they  had  caught  it, 
and  I  have  heard  them  say  to  their  teachers  here, 
'  Will  you  give  me  my  good  uncle's  hat  ? '  first-rate,  but 
good  gracious !  you  ought  to  have  seen  their  eyes 
stick  out  when  those  coach-drivers  went  into  their 
powwow.  Well,  I  stood  that  sort  of  thing  till  I  came 
near  dying  with  what  the  girls  call  the  onweeg,  and  I 
just  took  my  crowd  and  made  a  rush  for  the  sauer-kraut 
chaps.  Well,  sir,  we  tried  their  guzzle  and  chokers  tiU 
we  could  n't  swallow,  and  then  I  just  went  for  Eng- 
land, where  I  could  live  without  the  onweeg,  or  what- 
ever you  call  it.  I  wanted  to  come  home  then,  but  the 
girls  declared  they  should  not  be  able  to  look  anybody 
in  the  face  after  being  gone  only  six  weeks ;  and  so  I 
waited  till  I  began  to  get  the  dyspepsia,  and  then  we 
vomited  our  way  back  home.  Now,  if  you  can  get 
this  iron  wedge  out  of  my  stomach,  I  propose  to  go 
at  something,  if  it 's  nothing  but  running  a  peanut- 
stand." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  95 


LINE  UPON  LINE. 

You  need  not  fear,  at  least  for  the  present,  any  ex- 
cess of  zeal  in  health  questions.  Look  about  you.  How 
much  attention  is  given  to  health  ?  There  are  very  few 
persons  who  deny  their  appetites  with  reference  to  their 
health. 

I  know  a  middle-aged  gentleman  in  this  neighbor- 
hood who  has  the  management  of  one  of  our  railroads. 
He  came  about  four  years  ago  to  get  some  advice  about 
his  health.  Late  hours,  tobacco,  rich  food,  and  over- 
work had  nearly  wrecked  him.  Our  interview  lasted 
several  hours,  and  he  went  home  resolved.  Now  he  is 
one  of  the  happiest,  because  one  of  the  healthiest,  of 
men.  If  the  entire  stock  of  his  railway  had  been  pre- 
sented to  him,  it  would  have  been  nothing  compared 
with  the  few  simple  ideas  about  his  health.  Do  you 
suppose  he  is  the  only  person  in  the  country  who  could 
be  enriched  in  this  simple  way  ?  To  a  greater  or  less 
extent,  three  fourths  of,  the  population  between  six 
years  and  forty  years  of  age  are  waiting  to  receive  the 
greatest  of  earthly  blessings,  —  a  clear  conception  of  the 
sources  of  health. 

Extract  of  the  speech  of  Lord  Derby,  at  Livei-pool, 
April  10,  1872:— 

"  I  am  deeply  convinced  that  no  sanitary  improve- 


96  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ment  worth  the  name  will  be  effected,  whatever  acts 
you  pass  or  whatever  powers  you  confer  upon  public 
officers,  unless  they  can  create  a  real  and  intelligent  in- 
terest in  the  matter  among  the  people  at  large.  In  the 
first  place,  you  can't  get  laws  effectually  put  in  force 
where  they  interfere  with  the  profits  or  convenience  of 
individuals,  unless  they  are  supported  by  opinion.  In 
the  next  place,  whatever  administrative  measures  can 
do  for  the  public  health,  —  and  they  can  do  a  great 
deal,  —  they  can  never  supersede  the  necessity  for  per- 
sonal and  private  care.  It  is  no  good  providing  pure 
wat«r  for  drinking,  if  those  who  are  meant  to  consume 
it  prefer  less  innocent  fluids.  It  is  no  good  purifying 
the  atmosphere  from  smoke  and  foul  vapors,  though 
that  is  one  of  the  objects  which  we  ought  to  keep 
most  steadily  in  view,  if  when  people  have  got  clean 
air  they  won't  let  it  into  their  houses.  The  State 
may  issue  directions,  municipal  authorities  may  exe- 
cute them  to  the  best  of  their  power,  inspectors  may 
travel  about,  medical  authorities  may  draw  up  reports, 
but  you  can't  make  a  population  cleanly  or  healthy 
against  their  wUl,  or  without  their  intelligent  co-opera- 
tion." 

Extract  from  the  speech  of  the  Et.  Hon.  B.  Disraeli, 
at  Manchester,  April  3,  1872  :  — 

"  After  all,  the  first  consideration  of  a  minister  should 
be  the  health  of  the  people.     A  land  may  be  covered 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  97 

with  historic  trophies,  with  museums  of  science  and 
galleries  of  art,  with  universities  and  with  libraries,  the 
people  may  be  civilized  and  ingenious,  the  country  may 
be  even  famous  in  the  annals  and  action  of  the  world ; 
but  if  the  population  every  ten  years  decreases,  and  the 
stature  of  the  race  every  ten  years  diminishes,  the  his- 
tory of  that  country  will  soon  be  the  history  of  the 
past." 


TO  CURE  BAD  DIGESTION. 

Eat  but  two  meals  a  day,  if  this  can  be  made  con- 
venient. If  it  cannot,  then  let  the  third  be  very  light 
and  very  plain.  Eschew  pastry  always,  eating  only 
plain  food,  as  beef,  mutton,  bread,  and  the  like,  the 
bread  home-made  Graham,  if  possible.  Masticate  every 
mouthful  thoroughly ;  be  not  less  than  half  an  hour  at 
each  meal.  Drink  moderately  of  water  or  weak  tea  or 
coffee,  but  never  sip  of  either  when  food  is  in  the 
mouth.  Bathe  quickly  the  skin  all  over  in  the  morn- 
ing three  or  four  times  in  the  week,  rubbing  the 
skin  vigorously.  Exercise  abundantly  in  the  open 
air. 


98  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


HEALTH  KULES  BY  JOHN  WESLEY. 

The  great  apostle  wrote  upon  many  subjects.  Health 
was  prominent  among  them.  He  published  a  work 
under  the  title  of  "  Primitive  Physic ;  or,  An  Easy  and 
Natural  Method  of  curing  most  Diseases."  From  his 
rules  I  have  selected  the  following:  — 

1.  A  pure  air  is  very  important. 

2.  Tender  people  should  have  those  who  lie  with 
them,  or  are  much  about  them,  sound,  sweet,  and 
healthy. 

3.  Every  one,  ambitious  of  good  health,  should  be  as 
clean  as  possible  in  their  houses,  furniture,  and  clothes, 

4.  The  great  rule  in  food  is  to  suit  the  quality  and 
quantity  to  our  digestion. 

5.  All  pickled,  smoked,  salted,  and  high-seasoned 
food  is  unwholesome. 

6.  Nothing  conduces  more  to  health  than  abstinence 
and  plain  food,  with  due  labor. 

7.  For  studious  persons,  about  eight  ounces  of  animal 
and  twelve  of  vegetable  food  in  twenty-four  hours  is 
sufficient. 

8.  Water  is  the  most  wholesome  of  all  drinks,  most 
quickens  the  appetite  and  strengthens  the  digestion. 

9.  Strong,  and  more  especially  spirituous  liquors 
are  a  certain  though  slow  poison.      Experience  shows 


FIVE  MINUTE  CHATS.  99 

there  is  no  manner  of  danger  in  discontinuing  them  at 
once. 

10.  CojBfee  and  tea  are  extremely  injurious  to  persons 
with  weak  nerves. 

11.  Tender  persons  should  eat  only  a  very  light  sup- 
per, and  that  full  two  or  three  hours  before  going  to  bed, 

12.  Such  persons  ought  to  retire  to  bed  invariably  by 
nine  o'clock,  and  rise  from  four  to  five  in  the  morning. 

13.  Walking  is  the  best  exercise  for  those  who  are 
able  to  bear  it,  and  riding  is  the  best  for  those  who  are 
not  able  to  bear  walking. 

14.  We  may  strengthen  any  weak  part  of  the  body 
by  constant  exercise.  Thus  the  lungs  may  be  strength- 
ened by  loud  speaking  or  by  walking  up  an  ascent,  the 
digestion  and  nerves  by  riding,  the  arms  and  hands  by 
strongly  rubbing  them  daily. 

15.  The  studious  ought  to  have  stated  times  for  exer- 
cise, at  least  two  or  three  hours  a  day,  one  haK  before 
dinner,  the  other  before  going  to  bed. 

16.  Those  who  read  or  write  much  should  learn  to  do 
it  standing,  otherwise  it  will  impair  their  health. 

17.  The  fewer  clothes  any  one  uses  by  day  or  night 
(provided  he  is  kept  warm),  the  hardier  he  will  be. 

18.  Exercise  should  never  be  taken  on  a  full  stomach, 
it  should  never  be  continued  to  exhaustion,  and  when 
we  are  done,  we  should  be  careful  not  to  cool  off  too 
suddenly. 


100  FIVR-MINUTE  CHATS. 

19.  The  flesh-brash  is  highly  beneficial,  especially  in 
stimulating  a  part  which  is  cold  and  inactive. 

20.  Cold  bathing  is  of  great  advantage  to  health.  It 
prevents  many  diseases,  promotes  perspiration,  acceler- 
ates the  circulation  of  the  blood,  and  secures  against 
colds. 

21.  AU  violent  and  sudden  passions  dispose  people 
to  acute  diseases.  Slow  and  lasting  passions,  such  as 
grief  and  hopeless  love,  bring  on  chronic  diseases. 

22.  The  love  of  God,  as  in  general  it  is  the  sovereign 
remedy  for  all  miseries,  so  in  particular  it  prevents 
bodily  disorders.  And  by  the  unspeakable  joy  and 
perfect  calm,  serenity,  and  tranquillity  it  gives  to  the 
mind,  it  becomes  most  powerful  of  all  the  means  of 
health  and  long  life. 

Of  the  hygienic  writings  of  medical  men,  from  Hip- 
pocrates down,  I  have  been  a  careful  reader,  and  I  have 
not  found  among  their  rules  of  health  anything  equal 
to  the  above,  by  John  Wesley.  If  one  were  to  start 
out  in  pursuit  of  information  upon  the  laws  of  health, 
and  he  should  consult  thirty-six  persons,  —  twelve  doc- 
tors, twelve  clergymen,  and  twelve  intelligent  grand- 
mothers, —  the  doctors  would  give  him  the  least  knowl- 
edge. No  other  class  of  educated  people  know  so  little 
of  the  laws  of  health.  If  you  are  sick,  and  wish  to 
know  which  pUl  to  swallow,  the  doctor  is  the  only  per- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  101 

son  who  can  give  you  the  needed  information.  But  if 
you  are  slightly  indisposed,  and  wish  to  know  how  to 
avoid  being  sick,  or  you  are  well,  and  wish  to  know 
how  to  keep  so,  the  first  intelligent  person  of  mature 
years  you  may  happen  to  meet  will  give  you  more  prac- 
tical wisdom  than  your  own  family  physician.  The 
doctor  will  try  in  all  sincerity,  but  he  does  n't  know 
about  it  himself ;  how  can  he  inform  you  ?  The  pro- 
verbially bad  personal  habits  of  medical  men  do  not 
come  of  exceptional  recklessness,  but  of  exceptional 
ignorance.  Looking  on  the  sick  side  of  a  man,  they 
always  come  to  know  less  about  the  well  side  of  him 
than  other  folks. 


NASAL   CATARRH. 

A  RADICAL  error  underlies  nearly  all  medical  treat- 
ment. A  salt-rheum  appears  on  the  hand.  An  ignorant 
doctor  says,  "  It  is  a  disease  of  the  skin."  He  applies 
an  ointment.  The  eruption  disappears.  An  ulcer  ap- 
pears on  the  ankle.  The  ignorant  doctor  says,  "  It  is  a 
disease  of  the  ankle."  He  applies  a  salve.  The  sore 
disappears.  There  is  a  discliarge  of  matter  from  the 
ear.  The  ignorant  doctor  says,  "  The  ear-passage  is 
diseased."  He  prescribes  an  injection.  The  discharge 
stops.  A  case  of  nasal  catarrh  is  presented.  The 
ignorant  doctor  says,  "  This  nose  is  sick."     He  prescribes 


102  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

a  snuff.  The  dischaige  stops.  In  every  case  the  ap- 
parent relief  is  temporary.  The  difficulty  soon  returns, 
and  it  is  worse  than  before.  Harm  has  been  done. 
Often,  other  difficulties  have  been  added.  In  every 
one  of  these  cases  the  ignorant  doctor  has  entirely  mis- 
taken the  seat  of  the  malady.  Of  course  his  prescription 
is  a  blunder. 

Salt-rheum  is  not  a  disease  of  the  skin.  It  is  a 
disease  of  the  system  showing  itself  in  the  skin.  Ca- 
tarrh is  not  a  disease  of  the  man's  nose.  It  is  a  disease 
of  the  man,  showing  itself  in  his  nose.  The  blood 
which  is  now  in  my  brain  is,  before  I  am  done  writing 
this  sentence,  back  in  my  heart,  and  off  on  a  visit  to 
my  feet,  and  now  it  is  back  in  my  heart  again,  and  now 
it  is  distributed  to  my  liver,  stomach,  kidneys,  —  every 
part.  Every  part  of  the  body  is  fed  every  moment  from 
the  same  blood.  Every  atom  of  every  organ  and  tissue 
is  obtained  from  that  blood,  and  every  minute  aU  this 
blood  comes  back  to  the  heart  to  be  mixed  and  inter- 
mixed. Now,  do  you  suppose  that  one  part  of  the 
body  can  draw  away  from  the  rest,  get  up  a  disease  and 
carry  on  an  independent  operation  of  its  own,  on  its 
own  responsibility  ? 

What  I  have  said  is  not  new.  This  dependence  of 
local  upon  general  disease  is  a  common  idea  with  the 
people.  A  young  man  begins  business  with  a  large 
capital.     He   falls   into   dissipation.     In   ten  years  it 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  103 

exhausts  his  fortune.  When  at  last  we  see  him  beg 
for  bread,  we  do  not  say  this  exhibition  of  his  poverty 
is  his  financial  disease.  His  financial  constitution  has 
been  ruined.  The  begging  is  only  an  unpleaaant  ex- 
hibition of  that  ruin. 

During  this  course  of  dissipation,  the  young  man  not 
only  ruins  his  fortune,  but  ruins  his  health.  His  lungs 
fall  into  consumption.  A  doctor  may  tell  you  it  is  a 
disease  of  the  lungs.  But  it  is  no  more  a  disease  of 
the  lungs  than  was  begging  a  malady  of  the  broken- 
down  merchant.  In  both  cases  it  is  only  a  local  ex- 
hibition of  the  constitutional  trouble.  In  brief,  a  local 
disease  in  a  living  body  is  an  impossibility.  Every 
disease  must  be  systemic  before  it  can  assume  a  local 
expression.  In  other  words,  every  local  pathological 
manifestation  is  an  expression  of  systemic  pathological 
conditions. 

But  to  return  to  nasal  catarrh.  A  man  has  a  ca- 
tarrhal discharge  from  his  nose.  He  is  an  editor,  and 
mostly  confined  to  sedentary  habits.  His  digestion  is 
weak,  bowels  constipated,  head  dull,  and  general  con- 
dition altogether  unsatisfactory.  He  comes  to  me  with 
a  long  story  about  his  catarrh,  and  fiLnally  wishes  to 
know  if  I  have  any  confidence  in  the  advertised  cures 
for  this  disgusting  affliction  ;  would  be  willing  to  take 
anything  or  do  anything  if  he  could  only  get  rid  of  the 
horrible  nuisance,  etc. 


104  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

"  Will  you  do  exactly  what  I  will  advise  for  a  week  ? " 

"  Yes ;  I  would  n't  mind  standing  on  my  head  for  that 
length  of  time,  if  I  could  only  reduce  myself  to  the 
decent  use  of  one  pocket-handkerchief  a  day." 

"  Eat  a  piece  of  beefsteak  half  as  large  as  your  hand, 
one  baked  potato,  and  one  slice  of  bread,  for  your  break- 
fast ;  a  piece  of  roast  beef  as  large  as  your  hand,  with 
one  boiled  potato,  and  one  slice  of  bread,  for  dinner ; 
take  nothing  for  supper,  and  go  to  bed  at  half  past  eight 
o'clock.  Sleep,  if  possible,  half  an  hour  before  dinner. 
Drink  nothing  with  your  meals,  nor  within  two  hours 
afterward.  Drink  as  much  cold  water  on  rising  in  the 
morning  and  on  lying  down  at  night  as  you  can  con- 
veniently swallow,  and  you  may  add  draughts  of  cold 
water,  if  you  wish,  before  eating  your  meals.  Live  four 
to  six  hours  a  day  in  the  open  air,  riding  in  the  saddle 
and  walking.  Bathe  frequently,  and  every  night  on 
going  to  bed  rub  the  skin  hard  with  hair  gloves.  In 
less  than  a  week  one  handkerchief  will  do  you.  And 
yet  you  have  n't  touched  your  nose  in  the  way  of  treat- 
ment." 

To  cure  nasal  catarrh  you  have  only  to  make  your 
stomach  digest  well,  only  to  make  yourself  healthier. 
Your  nose  will  quickly  find  it  out,  and  adapt  itseK  to 
the  better  manners  of  its  companions. 


*^ 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  105 


THBOW  PHYSIC  TO  THE  DOGS. 

Medicines  cannot  essentially  relieve  a  case  of  low 
vitality.  When  a  man's  lungs,  heart,  stomach,  and 
other  vital  organs  are  too  small  and  inactive,  as  is  the 
case  in  most  instances  of  debility,  what  nonsense  to 
give  him  drugs  !  What  the  poor  fellow  wants  is  pure 
air,  sunshine,  and  exercise.  Millions  of  dollars  are 
expended  every  year  for  indescribable  compounds 
which  are  sure  cures  for  debility.  It  is  important  that 
during  the  warm  weather  he  should  live  out-doors, 
bathe  frequently,  exercise  much  in  the  garden,  and  in 
other  ways  which  shall  insure  exposure  to  fresh  air 
and  sunshine,  without  being  so  hard  as  to  involve 
much  exhaustion.  It  is  particularly  necessary  that  the 
lungs  should  receive  the  largest  possible  supply  of  pure 
air  at  night.  If  he  have  adequate  bedclothes,  he  can 
have  open  doors  and  windows  with  great  profit.  Fill- 
ing the  lungs  and  thumping  the  chest  and  abdomen 
will  do  much  good.  Cheerful  society,  with  an  oft-re- 
peated hearty  laugh,  will  also  be  beneficial.  When  the 
cold  weather  comes  on,  it  is  of  the  first  importance 
that  he  should  occupy  rooms  heated  by  open  fires. 
Stove-heat  is  a  poison  to  him.  So  far  as  possible,  the 
same  habits  I  have  advised  for  the  summer  should 
be    kept    up    during    the    cold    weather.      AU    this 

5* 


X 


106  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

must  be  done,  not  only  when  there  is  inclination, 
but  in  a  systematic  way  and  under .  a  conviction  of 
duty. 

PURrpy  THE  BLOOD. 

To  cure  "  pimples  and  flesh-worms,"  you  must  purify 
your  blood.  This  is  not  to  be  done  by  "  shaking  before 
taking"  and  swallowing  the  miserable  swiUs  known  as 
patent  medicines.  It  is  to  be  done  by  living  on  plain, 
nutritious  food,  breathing  a  pure  air  day  and  night, 
sleeping  enough,  exercising  freely,  and  keeping  your 
skin  thoroughly  open  by  frequent  baths  in  soap  and 
water.  There  is  no  other  way  in  the  world  to  puriiy 
your  system  but  this.  Swallowing  poisons  won't  do  it 
Gorging  yourself  with  mineral  waters  will  not.  God 
has  furnished  the  true  physicians  for  this  and  other 
maladies,  —  Dr.  Sunshine,  Dr.  Cleanliness,  Dr.  Pure 
Air,  Dr.  Temperance,  Dr.  Exercise.  These  gentlemen 
will  cure  you,  and  then  you  wiU  stay  cured. 


I  THINK  there  can  be  no  doubt  that  our  people  are 
becoming  larger,  healthier,  and  longer-lived.  I  believe, 
next  to  our  general  prosperity  and  success,  the  climate 
has  most  to  do  in  developing  this  gradual  improve- 
ment. 


FIVE-MINUTE  GHATS.  107 


WORTH  KNOWING. 

Chilblains  are  always  susceptible  of  relief,  and  gen- 
erally of  cure.  The  treatment  consists  of  putting  them 
morning  and  evening  in  water.  Perhaps  while  the 
suffering  is  greatest  the  putting  them  in  water  may 
be  much  more  frequent,  say  once  in  two  or  three  hours. 
The  feet  are  always  to  be  gently  and  thoroughly  rubbed 
while  in  the  water.  The  temperature  of  the  water  is 
always  to  be  determined  by  the  feeling  in  the  feet. 
If  cold,  the  water  should  be  cold;  when  they  burn, 
the  water  should  be  hot.  But  the  great  secret  of  the 
cure  is  to  be  found  in  wearing  soft  woollen  stockings 
which  are  changed  for  fresh  ones  every  day,  and  wear- 
ing shoes  with  soles  so  broad  that  not  the  slightest 
pressure  is  made  upon  the  affected  parts.  Arctic  over- 
shoes should  be  worn  when  the  temperature  is  low,  so 
that  the  feet  shall  never  become  cold.  This  treatment 
will  never  fail  to  relieve  at  once,  and  is  certain  finally 
to  effect  a  cure.  . 


I  don't  believe  in  shoulder-braces.  Nature  furnishes 
the  needed  braces  to  keep  the  shoulders  in  position; 
and  when  you  use  the  artificial,  these  natural  ones 
V)ecome  weak  for  want  of  exercise.     The  best  treatment 


108  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

for  stooping  shoulders  is  the  practice  of  holding  the 
chin  close  to  the  neck,  and  a  haK-hour  morning  and 
evening  carrying  a  weight  on  top  of  the  head.  The 
greater  the  weight,  the  greater  the  good.  Some  people 
carry  a  hundred  pounds,  and  it  helps  largely  to  make 
them  straight. 


Bilious  Derangement.  —  The  best  treatment  for 
bilious  derangement,  speaking  in  general  terms,  is  the 
following :  Drink  no  coffee ;  a  cup  of  black-tea  at 
breakfast  is  admissible.  The  best  breakfast,  however, 
is  bread  and  milk,  with  perhaps  cracked  wheat  and 
syrup.  For  dinner,  use  mutton,  beef,  or  fish,  with 
potatoes  and  coarse  bread.  Never  eat  any  dessert  un- 
less it  be  simple  fruit.  Go  without  supper  altogether. 
Take  a  hand-bath  every  morning,  in  water  of  agreeable 
temperature,  and  after  a  sharp  friction  thump  the  stom- 
ach and  abdomen  during  two  or  three  minutes.  Eetire 
and  rise  early.  Sun  your  bed  thoroughly,  and  air  the 
bedroom  day  and  night.  Follow  this  advice  faithfully, 
and  your  stomach  will  soon  acquire  a  sweetness  and 
healthy  tone  that  will  fully  compensate  you  for  the 
little  trouble  and  self-denial.  All  ordinary  affections 
of  the  stomach  and  liver  are  successfully  treated  by 
the  above. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  109 


HOW  TO  GET  KID  OF  DUST. 

The  good  of  gymnastics  and  other  physical  exercises, 
within  doors,  is  in  part  counteracted  by  dust  in  the  air 
of  the  room.  Our  lungs  are  delicate ;  our  breathing 
fuU  and  rapid ;  every  part  of  the  lungs  is  filled  with 
the  irritating  powder.  We  who  train  muscles  have 
long  sought  a  cure.     /  have  found  it  ! 

The  floor  is  clean.  But  the  black  clothes  show  the  air 
is  still  full  of  dust.  It  comes  from  the  cracks  between 
the  boards.  When  washing  the  floor,  put  into  each  pail 
of  hot  water  molasses  and  glue,  half  a  teacup  of  each. 
Every  particle  of  dust  will  stick  fast.  Now  dance,  or 
stamp  your  feet,  as  in  the  new  gymnastics.  No  dust 
will  rise. 

One  of  my  halls  was  entirely  unusable ;  pupils  were 
choked  with  dust ;  must  have  a  new  floor.  But  the 
molasses  and  glue  expedient  occurred  to  me.  Tried  it. 
Perfect  success.  Have  now  used  it  two  years.  Thou- 
sands of  halls  and  other  rooms  are  constantly  poisoning 
lungs  with  dust.  The  new  expedient  will,  if  wisely 
and  for  a  while  frequently  used,  arrest  it  all. 

Carpets  play  an  important  part  in  the  production  of 
consumption.  The  amount  of  dust  they  set  afloat  is 
immense.  Our  sensitive  lungs  only  need  this  irritation 
to  arouse  the  latent  malady.    When  the  fashion  changes 


110  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

from  the  carpet  to  the  mosaic  floor,  which  may  be  made 
almost  as  cheaply  as  the  common  floor,  our  lungs  will 
be  greatly  improved. 

Such  a  floor,  made  of  alternate  strips  of  dark  and 
light  colored  woods  (producing  a  very  pretty  effect), 
may  be  washed  occasionally  with  molasses  and  glue- 
water,  or  with  molasses  alone  in  the  water.  It  will  be 
almost  as  free  from  dust  as  a  snowbank. 

Our  eyes,  noses,  throats,  and  lungs  will  then  be  com- 
paratively free  from  irritation. 


COLD  BATHING. 

Just  now  I  am  sorry  to  see  there  is  a  reaction 
against  daily  jcold  bathing.  A  medical  man  of  my 
acquaintance  cautions  his  patients  against  too  frequent 
bathing,  for  fear  the  oil  may  be  removed  from  the  skin. 
He  tells  them  that  twice  a  month  during  the  winter 
and  twice  a  week  during  the  summer  are  quite  enough 
for  anybody.  A  well-known  writer  has  recently  cau- 
tioned the  world  against  the  removal  of  the  skin  oil  by 
too  frequent  bathing. 

This  is  an  entire  misapprehension.  In  hydropathic 
establishments  the  patients  are  sometimes  bathed  three 
or  four  times  a  day,  yet  never  lose  the  oil  of  the  skin 
in  consequence.     Pugilists,  in  preparing  for  the  prize- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  HI 

ring,  are  bathed  two  or  three  times  a  day,  and  rubbed 
with  rough  towels  by  the  strongest  arms.  Heenan  was 
bathed  three  or  four  times  a  day,  and  was  rubbed  by 
McDonald  and  Cusick  with  all  the  power  of  their 
strong  arms,  fifteen  minutes  at  a  time,  and  with  the 
roughest  towels  and  brushes,  and  yet  the  account  says 
that  when  he  appeared  in  the  ring  his  skin  was  as 
beautiful  as  a  baby's. 

If  cold  water  were  used  without  soap,  a  bath  every 
hour,  with  the  hardest  friction,  would  only  increase  the 
secretion  of  oils. 

A  more  frequent  objection  —  one  urged  by  the  pa- 
tients themselves  —  is,  that  they  can't  get  up  a  reac- 
tion. A  lady  said  to  me  one  morning,  "  I  have  tried 
this  cold  bathing,  but  it  always  gives  me  a  headache ; 
besides,  I  can't  get  warm  for  an  hour." 

Many  others  have  made  the  same  objection.  Now, 
this  is  all  because  you  don't  manage  right.  If  you  will 
manage  as  follows,  the  want  of  reaction  and  consequent 
congestion  of  the  head  and  chest  will  never  occur 
again.  Purchase  a  bathing-mat,  or  make  one  by  sew- 
ing into  the  edge  of  a  large  piece  of  rubber  cloth  a 
liaK-inch  rope ;  on  rising  in  the  morning  spring  into 
the  middle  of  it,  and  with  an  old  rough  towel  folded 
eight  or  ten  inches  square,  apply  the  water  as  fast  as 
your  hands  can  fly;  then  with  rough  towels  rub  as 
hard  as  you  can  bear  on,  imtil  the  skin  is  as  red  as  a 


112  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

boiled  lobster.     This  wiU  take  but  five  minutes,  and 
leave  you  in  a  delightful  glow. 

I  have  never  met  any  one  who,  taking  the  bath  in 
this  rapid  and  vigorous  way,  was  not  satisfied  with  it. 


OUR  HAIR. 


The  Creator  covered  the  human  skull  with  hair.  It 
is  a  very  important  protector  of  the  brain.  The  Crea- 
tor covered  a  part  of  man's  face  with  hair.  It  is  an 
important  protector  of  the  throat  and  lungs.  The  eyes 
likewise,  say  some  physiologists. 

Did  you  ever  observe  that  curious  protuberance  in  a 
man's  neck?  They  call  it  "Adam's  apple,"  from  the 
old  notion  that  when  Eve  gave  the  apple  to  Adam,  he 
was  so  frightened  that,  instead  of  masticating  it  thor- 
oughly, as  he  should  have  done,  he  swallowed  it  whole, 
and  it  stuck  in  his  throat.  His  descendants  have  in- 
herited the  lump. 

This  peculiar  projection  in  a  man's  throat  gives  extra 
length  to  his  vocal  chords,  so  that  his  voice  may  be 
deep  and  low.  His  vocal  box  is  thus  all  out-doors, 
and  requires  the  protection  of  the  hair.  In  a  woman's 
throat  there  is  no  such  prominence.  Her  vocal  box  is 
buried  in  the  soft  parts,  and  requires  no  extra  covering. 
Then  there  is  no  doubt  that  it  was  designed  that  man 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  113 

should  do  the  rough,  outside,  dusty  work  of  the  world, 
while  in  the  main  woman  should  stay  at  home  to  take 
care  of  her  little  ones. 

The  beard  about  the  mouth  and  nose  among  men  en- 
gaged in  dusty  work  catches  and  holds  a  vast  amount  of 
dust  which  would  otherwise  enter  and  irritate  the  lungs. 

Men  become  bald !  Why  ?  Because  they  wear  close 
hats  and  caps.  Women,  are  never  bald.  Sometimes, 
from  long-continued  headache,  heat  in  the  scalp,  bad 
hair-dressing,  and  some  other  causes,  women  may  have 
bare  spots  here  and  there;  but  with  all  these  causes 
combined,  you  never  see  a  woman  with  a  bare,  shiny, 
bald  head.  And  you  never  see  a  man  lose  a  hair  below 
where  the  hat  touches  his  skull.  It  will  take  it  off  as 
clean  as  you  can  shave  it  down  to  exactly  that  line,  but 
never  a  hair  below,  not  if  he  has  been  bald  fifty  years. 
The  common  black  stiff  hat,  as  impervious  as  sheet- 
iron,  retains  the  heat  and  perspiration.  The  little  hair- 
glands,  which  bear  the  same  relation  to  the  hair  that 
the  seed  wheat  does  to  the  plant  above  ground,  become 
weak  from  the  presence  of  the  moisture  and  heat,  and 
finally  fail  to  sustain  the  hair.  It  falls  out,  and  bald- 
ness exists.  A  fur  cap  I  have  known  to  produce  com- 
plete baldness  in  a  single  winter. 

A  man  with  a  good  head  of  hair  needs  very  little 
protection  where  the  hair  grows.  Women,  who  live 
much  within  doors,  and  who  are  therefore  peculiarly 


114  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

susceptible  to  the  cold,  oil  their  hair  and  plaster  it 
down  hard  and  flat  upon  their  skulls,  so  as  to  destroy 
nine  tenths  of  its  power  as  a  non-conductor,  have  worn 
for  years  postage-stamps  of  bonnets  stuck  on  the  back 
of  their  heads,  exposing  the  whole  tops  of  their  skulls, 
and  then,  going  out  of  furnace-heated  parlors,  have 
ridden  for  hours  in  a  very  cold  temperature  without 
taking  cold  and  without  complaint. 

Man,  with  his  greater  vigor  and  habits  of  out-door 
life,  and  with  his  hair  not  plastered  down,  but  thrown 
up  loose  and  light,  could  no  doubt  go  to  the  north  pole, 
so  far  as  that  part  of  his  person  is  concerned,  without 
any  artificial  covering.  And  yet  we  men  wear  thick 
fur  caps,  and  what  amounts  to  sheet-iron  hats,  and  do 
not  dare  step  out  in  a  chilly  atmosphere  a  moment  lest 
we  take  cold.  It  is  silly,  weak,  and  really  a  serious 
error.  The  Creator  knew  what  he  was  about  when  he 
covered  a  man's  skull  with  hair.  It  has  a  very  impor- 
tant function  in  protecting  the  brain.  Baldness  is  a 
serious  misfortune.  It  wUl  never  occur  in  any  man 
who  will  wear  such  a  hat  as  I  do,  —  a  common  black 
high  silk  hat  with  five  hundred  holes  through  the  top, 
so  that  there  shall  be  more  hole  than  hat.  This  costs 
nothing ;  the  hatter  will  do  it  for  you  when  you  pur- 
chase your  hat.  If  the  nap  be  combed  back  the  wrong 
way,  and  if  after  the  holes  are  made  it  be  combed  the 
right  way,  no  one  will  ever  observe   the  peculiarity. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  115 

Tlie  hat  will  wear  quite  as  long,  —  the  hatters  say  con- 
siderably longer,  —  because  it  is  dry  instead  of  moist; 
in  brief,  there  is  not  a  single  objection  to  it,  while  it 
will  certainly  prevent  baldness  and  keep  the  top  of  the 
head  cool,  and  prevent  much  headache. 

While  discussing  this  subject  of  our  hair,  I  would 
remark  that  the  back  of  the  neck  should  be  protected 
in  the  winter  against  cold  and  in  the  summer  against 
great  heat.  Nothing  can  accomplish  this  uniformly 
and  perfectly  but  the  hair.  The  custom  of  shingling 
off  the  hair  from  the  back  of  the  neck  is  unphysiologi- 
cal,  and  it  should  in  both  sexes  be  allowed  to  fall  low 
enough  to  cover  the  nape  or  meet  the  usual  dress. 


DANDRUFF  IN  THE  HAIR. 

A  CORRESPONDENT  asks  by  what  means  this  nuisance 
may  be  prevented,  and  if  it  has  already  made  its 
appearance,  how  it  may  be  removed. 

As  usual,  it  is  much  easier  to  prevent  than  to  cure. 

The  prevention  consists  in  the  avoidance  of  sharp 
combs  and  brushes,  and  daily  bathing  the  head  with 
cold  water. 

Numberless  cases  of  dandruff  have  been  produced  by 
scratching  the  head  with  sharp  combs  and  brushes.  If 
any  one  doubts  it,  let  him  try  the  same  practice  upon 


116  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  back  of  his  hand.  He  will  find  in  a  few  days  bran- 
like scales,  closely  resembling  dandruff,  thrown  off  in 
considerable  quantity. 

When  the  difficulty  already  exists  in  the  hair,  it  is 
to  be  removed  by  the  same  simple  means  which  will 
prevent  it. 

I  do  not  intend  to  deny  that  certain  heads  are  dis- 
posed to  this  branny  excretion,  but  these  constitute  but 
a  small  part  of  the  cases  of  dandruff. 


OUR  SKULLS. 

Herodotus  visited  a  battle-field  where  the  dead 
bodies  of  the  Egyptians  on  one  side  and  the  Persians 
on  the  other  were  collected  in  separate  heaps,  and  he 
was  struck  with  the  difference  between  the  skulls  of 
the  two  nations.  While  the  skull  of  an  Egyptian  was 
so  thick  and  strong  as  to  be  fractured  with  difficulty, 
the  skull  of  the  Persian  was  so  thin  and  frail  that  it 
was  broken  by  a  small  pebble. 

Herodotus  thought  that  this  remarkable  difference 
was  owing  to  the  fact  that  the  Egyptians  went  with 
bare  heads,  while  the  Persians  wore  enormous  turbans. 

The  head  has  an  abundant  protection  in  the  hair. 
If  this  be  removed  by  close  hot  caps  and  hats,  a  serious 
hai-m  may  be  done  to  the  brain  in  depriving  it  of  one 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  117 

of  the  most  important  of  its  protections.  The  Persian 
and  Turkish  turban  and  our  fur  caps  and  close  hats 
seriously  affect  the  strength  and  protecting  power  of 
the  skull,  leading  to  those  impressions  on  the  brain 
from  external  heat  and  cold  which  result,  in  advanced 
life,  when  the  powers  run  low,  in  congestions  of  the 
head,  and  not  unfrequently  in  fatal  apoplexy. 


Ladies,  I  am  glad  you  have  abandoned  the  habit  of 
covering  your  ears  with  your  hair.  It  was  a  bad  habit. 
Excluding  the  air  from  the  ear-passage  produced  va- 
rious troubles,  and  among  them  changed  the  ear-wax 
so  as  to  produce  premature  deafness.  And  then  how 
funny  they  used  to  look  without  ears  ! 


ATMOSPHERE. 

The  great  defect  of  our  atmosphere  is  excessive  dry- 
ness. The  dew-point  of  England  is  15  or  20  degrees 
higher  than  that  of  New  England.  The  results  are  seen 
in  the  contrast  between  the  plump  body  and  smooth 
skin  of  the  Englishman,  and  the  lean,  juiceless  body, 
and  dry,  cracked  skin  of  the  Yankee.  It  is  also  shown 
in  the  well-known  difference  in  the  influence  of  house 
heat  upon  furniture.  Our  chairs,  tables,  sofas,  and 
wood- work  warp  and  shrink,  while  nothing  of  the  sort 
occurs  in  England. 


118  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

On  the  western  side  of  the  Rocky  Mountains  bron- 
chitis and  consumption  are  almost  unknown.  In  great 
part  this  immunity  is  attributable  to  the  remarkable 
humidity  of  the  atmosphere.  The  dew-point  on  the 
Pacific  Coast  is  very  high. 

As  we  cannot  change  the  amount  of  moisture  in  the 
atmosphere  of  the  country,  we  must  limit  our  practical 
efforts  to  the  air  of  our  houses.  If  we  use  a  stove,  its 
entire  upper  surface  may  be  made  a  reservoir  for  water. 
Ornamental  work  of  but  little  cost  may  be  used  to  con- 
ceal it.  The  furnace  may  be  made  to  send  up,  with  its 
heat,  many  gallons  of  water  daily,  in  the  form  of  vapor. 


AIR-TIGHT  STOVES. 

During  a  recent  visit  to  friends  in  Western  New 
York  and  Michigan,  I  was  struck,  and  not  a  little 
pained,  at  their  method  of  heating  their  houses.  Surely 
a  person  like  myseK,  accustomed  to  the  atmosphere 
of  sleeping-cars,  and  visiting  much  in  houses  heated 
by  furnaces,  is  not  likely  to  be  particularly  sensitive ; 
but  the  atmosphere  in  the  houses  of  my  Western 
friends  was  too  much  for  me.  How  they  could  stand 
it  was  a  mystery  to  me.  They  were,  to  be  sure,  red- 
eyed,  and  sometimes  livid-cheeked  and  dull  in  thought ; 
but  how  they  could  gather  about  a  great  air-tight  stove, 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  119 

with  shut  draught,  tight  windows  and  doors,  and  sit  for 
two  or  three  hours  in  an  atmosphere  of  seventy-five  to 
eighty  degrees,  without  any  change  of  air,  is  to  me 
simply  inconceivable.  But  then  I  must  not  forget 
that  men  saturate  themselves  with  tobacco,  and  keep 
it  up  just  for  the  good  of  it. 

Congestion  of  the  head,  neuralgia,  susceptibility  to 
colds,  and  numberless  cases  of  bronchitis  and  consump- 
tion, come  from  air-tight  stoves.  They  are  among  our 
worst  enemies  to  health.     An  open  fire  is  number 

ONE  AMONG  HOUSE   BLESSINGS, 


CARBONIC-ACID  GAS. 

Tms  gas,  or  choke  dainp,  as  it  is  vulgarly  called,  is 
the  source  of  infinite  mischief.  No  other  single  agency 
injures  the  health  of  men  so  widely  and  seriously. 
This  gas  comes  principally  from  the  lungs  of  men  and 
animals,  and  from  combustion.  A  load  of  wood  weigh- 
ing a  ton  is  drawn  to  the  door.  It  takes  a  span  of 
horses  to  do  it.  It  is  burned  in  the  stove,  and  all  that 
is  left  of  it  is  in  the  form  of  ashes,  and  may  be  carried 
away  in  a  barrel  on  a  man's  shoulder.  Perhaps  the 
weight  is  fifty  pounds.  The  nineteen  hundred  and 
fifty  pounds  which  have  disappeared  have  all  gone  up 
the  chimney  and  out  into  the  atmosphere  in  the  form 
of  carbonic-acid  gas. 


120  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

A  candle  weighs  four  ounces,  but  when  it  is  burned, 
there  is  almost  nothing  left.  It  has  disappeared  in  the 
form  of  carbonic-acid  gas.  Put  a  man  in  a  pork-barrel, 
head  him  up  tight,  and  drive  in  the  bung.  Wait  a 
few  minutes.  Now  loosen  the  bung,  take  it  out,  and 
peep  in.  If  you  happen  to  look  into  the  man's  face 
you  wiU  find  it  nearly  black.  The  man  is  dead.  He 
was  suffocated.  You  see  the  way  it  happened  was 
this.  The  man  at  first  could  breathe  well  enough, 
and  unless  he  knew  about  such  things,  he  said  to  him- 
self, "  Well,  this  is  a  little  cramped,  but  it  is  not  so  bad 
after  all."  But  pretty  soon  he  began  to  find  it  was 
hard  work  to  breathe.  Then  he  began  to  feel  dizzy, 
and  then  came  a  terrible  pressure  in  his  head ;  then 
a  fearful  agony  for  a  moment  in  his  heart ;  then  a  few 
struggles  and  gasps,  and  all  was  over.  Just  take  a 
good  look  in  his  face,  if  you  have  the  stomach  for  it, 
and  you  will  see  how  terrible  was  his  agony  during  the 
last  moments.  What  kUled  that  man  ?  The  carbonic- 
acid  gas  which  he  produced  in  his  own  lungs.  If  when 
you  first  opened  the  bung-hole  you  had  put  your  mouth 
to  it  and  tried  to  breathe  the  air,  you  would  have  found 
out  at  once  what  killed  him,  .  We  take  pure  air  into 
our  lungs,  and  when  we  breathe  it  out  it  contains  three 
or  four  per  cent  of  this  poisonous  gas.  Now,  if  we 
take  this  same  air  back  into  the  lungs  and  breathe  it 
over  again,  when  it  comes  out  of  our  lungs  the  second 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  121 

time,  it  is  so  poisonous  that  it  can't  be  taken  back  the 
third  time  without  mischief. 

In  a  room  twelve  feet  square,  if  three  persons  are 
sitting  and  they  have  one  gas-burner,  which  will  con- 
sume the  oxygen  and  create  carbonic-acid  gas  about 
as  fast  as  the  three  pairs  of  lungs,  the  air  will  become 
poisonous  in  a  few  minutes,  unless  there  is  an  opening 
to  let  the  poisoned  air  out  and  the  pure  air  in.  The 
air  in  most  churches  and  theatres  is  simply  abominable. 
Babies  in  the  bottoms  of  cradles,  ladies  under  thick 
veils,  passengers  in  sleeping-cars,  nine  tenths  of  our 
people  in  their  bedrooms,  are  poisoned  with  this  car- 
bonic-acid gas.  Now,  does  not  the  statement  with 
which  I  began,  namely,  that  "  carbonic-acid  gas  is  the 
source  of  infinite  mischief,"  seem  reasonable? 


THAT  RIDICULOUS  LITTLE  GAS-BILL. 

A  WORTHY  butcher  amassed  a  fortune.  Of  course 
he  built  a  big  house  in  a  fashionable  street.  I  say 
of  course,  because  he  was  an  American,  and  that's 
what  all  Americans  do  when  they  get  rich.  He  built 
a  very  big  house  ;  there  were  about  thirty  rooms  in  it, 
which  I  am  sure  you  will  think  were  enough,  when  I 
tell  you  that  Uncle  Jack  and  his  wife  occupied  it  all 
alone ;  they  kept  no  servant.     Mrs.  Uncle  Jack  said. 


122  FIVE^MINUTE  GHATS. 

"  I  don't  want  no  liired  gal  sloppin'  and  wastin' 
round ;  I  kin  do  all  the  work  for  me  and  my  old  man 
yit  awhile." 

Their  parlors  were  got  up  under  the  supervision 
of  an  architect  who  had  grand  ideas,  and  said  par- 
lors were  stunning.  The  chandeliers  were  particularly 
grand.  The  visitor  invariably  was  shown  "them 
gilted  chandeliers."  There  were  more  than  a  hundred 
gas-burners  in  the  house,  and  the  gas  company  natu- 
rally expected  big  bills.  Biit  the  quantity  burned 
during  the  first  quarter  was  eight  hundred  feet,  during 
the  second  quarter  five  hundred  feet,  and  during  the 
fourth  quarter  one  hundred  feet.  The  gas  officers  got 
mad ;  they  wrote  Uncle  Jack  a  note  to  warn  him  that 
if  he  didn't  burn  at  least  a  thousand  feet  a  quarter, 
they  would  shut  him  off,  for  they  would  not  take 
account  of  his  meter  for  the  amount  he  was  consum- 
ing. One  of  the  officers  suspected  that  Jack  had  laid 
a  side  pipe,  and  was  using  gas  without  running  it 
through  the  meter,  and,  to  test  it,  called  upon  him  in 
the  evening,  and  found  him  and  his  wife  sitting  in 
the  little  back  kitchen  with  a  tallow  dip. 

When  this  was  reported,  there  was  a  laugh  all  over 
town,  and  it  certainly  was  very  funny,  with  that  great, 
splendid  house,  with  those  magnificent  parlors,  all 
empty,  and  old  Uncle  Jack  and  his  wife  dimly  seen 
in  a  little  back  kitchen,  sitting  humped  up  in  the  dim 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

0 

light  of  a  tallow  dip.  Let  any  one  go  into  the  city's 
principal  gas-office  and  introduce  the  subject  of  econ- 
omy in  gas,  and  Uncle  Jack's  hundred  feet  will  be 
sure  to  figure  in  the  conversation,  and  with  some 
remarkable  embellishments,  if  Charley  D.  happens  to 
be  present. 

We  all  laugh  at  Uncle  Jack  and  his  tallow  dip  in 
the  back  kitchen,  but  is  not  that  about  the  way  people 
generally  manage  ?  Take  any  fashionable  street,  and 
how  do  you  find  the  largest  rooms  in  each  house, — 
the  pleasantest,  the  sunniest,  the  best  located,  the 
most  available  in  every  way,  —  do  you  find  them 
occupied  by  the  family  ?  No  !  it  is  the  grand  draw- 
ing-room which  is  used  twice  a  year  for  a  large  gath- 
ering, and  to  receive  an  occasional  caller.  The  family 
crawl  down  into  the  basement,  and  mount  to  the 
chambers  overhead,  but  they  are  careful  not  to  intrude 
upon  the  glories  of  their  grand  drawing-room. 

Now  pray,  good  folks,  take  down  the  heavy  dra- 
peries, roll  up  the  shades,  let  in  a  flood  of  sunshine, 
and  go  it ;  let  the  children  have  the  run  of  the  grand 
place  too.  During  the  bad  days,  when  they  can't  get 
out  doors,  it  will  do  wonders  for  their  spirits  and 
health.  What  are  your  houses  for  ?  What  are  the 
grand  drawing-rooms  for?  Are  they  for  a  few  fash- 
ionable callers,  who  don't  care  a  fig  for  you  or  your 
house  ?     Or  are  they  for  the  happiness  and  welfare  of 


124  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

your  own  dear  ones,  whose  healtli  and  enjoyment  are 
the  highest  object  of  your  life  ?  Show-parlors  are  a 
nuisance  and  ought  to  be  abated. 


The  best  time  for  exercise  is  not  easy  to  determine 
for  any  particular  person,  without  knowing  something 
of  his  bodily  conditions.  Some  general  directions  may 
be  given.  The  hour  should  be  as  far  removed  from  the 
time  of  eating  as  possible.  If  the  meals  are  taken  at 
seven,  one,  and  six  o'clock,  the  best  time  is  eleven  in 
the  morning.  After  this,  the  best  time  is  four  p.  m.  The 
evening  from  eight  to  nine  is  not  bad,  but  invalids  are 
not  generally  much  improved  by  exercise  either  before 
breakfast  or  after  supper. 


•'ALFRED  IS  SO  DELICATE." 

"Alfred  is  so  delicate,"  writes  an  anxious  mother 
to  me,  to  which  I  reply :  "  Your  son  should  be  taken 
out  of  school  and  put  at  work.  His  nervous  system 
wiU  not  bear  the  strain  of  college.  But  at  some  work 
in  the  open  air,  —  that  of  a  gardener  or  nursery-man, 
for  example,  —  he  would  do  well.  You  must  choose  be- 
tween a  useful,  vigorous  manhood  in  some  such  healthful 
occupation,  and  having  him  buried  at  twenty  with  the 
proud  consciousness  that  he  is  full  of  Latin  and  Greek." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  125 


DISEASES  OF  ARTISANS. 

Gilders  are  subject  to  mercurial  affections.  They 
suffer  from  giddiness,  asthma,  and  frequently  from  par- 
tial paralysis,  which  often  induces  a  peculiar  kind  of 
stammering.  As  might  be  supposed,  they  frequently 
suffer  from  unpleasant  ulcers  in  the  mouth,  which  is  a 
true  salivation. 

Miners  in  the  quicksilver  mines  suffer  from  vertigo, 
palsy,  and  convulsions,  and  can  retain  their  health  but 
a  few  months. 

Pottery-glaziers,  who  use  lead  largely,  suffer  a  con- 
dition very  similar  to  that  described  above,  with  the 
addition  of  dropsy,  loss  of  teeth,  and  enlarged  spleen. 
Palsy  of  the  limbs,  especially  of  the  arms,  is  a  common 
effect  of  poison  from  lead.  Consumption  is  frequently 
among  these  workers. 

Glass-blowers  are  the  victims  of  those  affections  pro- 
duced by  sudden  vicissitudes  of  temperature,  —  rheu- 
matism and  various  inflammations.  Their  eyes  are 
weak,  while  they  are  generally  thin  and  delicate. 

Stonecutters  inhale  the  sharp  particles,  which  are 
apt  to  produce  disease  of  the  lungs. 

Plasterers  suffer  from  the  gases  disengaged  and  from 
excessive  moisture.  They  breathe  with  difficulty,  have 
wan,  pallid  visages,  and  digest  badly. 


126  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Filers  are  short-lived.  Whether  the  metal  be  brass 
or  iron,  the  fine  sharp  particles  make  their  way  into 
the  lungs,  where  they  develop  disease,  sometimes  asth- 
ma, sometimes  consumption. 

Workers  in  wool  and  cotton  breathe  a  close,  un- 
changed atmosphere,  while  their  lungs  are  filled  with 
the  irritating  dust  of  the  material  upon  which  they 
work. 

All  in-door  occupations,  with  the  present  imperfect 
notions  about  ventilation,  are  more  or  less  mischievous. 
Out-door  occupations  —  farming,  gardening,  and  other 
similar  employments — afford,  with  an  intelligent  com- 
prehension of  the  food  question,  the  best  opportunity 
for  health  and  long  life.  Driving  a  stage  or  express- 
wagon,  with  frequent  leaving  for  the  delivery  of  pack- 
ages, travelling  through  the  country  on  foot  as  a  book- 
agent, —  these  and  similar  employments  are  perhaps 
not  inferior  to  farming  and  gardening. 


TOO  GREAT  AN  HONOR. 

The  great  plague  was  imported  into  England  in  some 
goods  from  Holland,  in  1664.  In  July,  August,  and 
September  of  that  year  the  deaths  ranged  from  1,000  to 
7,000  per  week,  and  4,000  died  in  one  single  night. 
About  100,000  died  in  London  alone,  and  the  infection 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  127 

was  carried  by  the  frightened  Londoners  fleeing  into 
every  part  of  the  kingdom. 

When  the  plague  appeared  in  Arabia,  the  Arabs, 
though  predestinarians,  fled  into  the  desert,  and  when 
remonstrated  with  for  this  attempt  to  thwart  the  will 
of  God,  they  alleged  as  an  excuse  that,  though  the  dis- 
temper was  sent  from  Heaven,  they  felt  so  conscious  of 
their  utter  unworthiness  of  this  special  mark  of  grace, 
that  they  were  impelled  to  decline  the  honor  for  the 
present,  and  that  they  had  resolved  to  wait  until  they 
were  more  worthy  of  the  special  attention  of  the  great 
God. 


ABOUT  QUACKS. 

John  Smith  is  clear-headed  about  his  business.  He 
knows  about  politics  and  religion  ;  he  is  a  capital  school- 
committee  man,  but  he  is  a  perfect  'idiot  in  everything 
that  concerns  his  health.  The  mock -auction  man  can't 
humbug  him,  but  he  will  swallow  the  biggest  kind  of 
tomfoolery  in  the  shape  of  a  quack  medicine. 

To  illustrate  this  I  will  tell  you  a  little  story.  Nine- 
teen years  ago,  finding  myself  very  tired,  as  the  warm 
weather  came  on,  I  invited  my  wife  to  take  a  drive 
through  Canada.  With  our  beautiful  mares  Katy  and 
Jenny  we  crossed  on  a  ferry-boat  at  the  mouth  of  the 
Niagara  River,  and  at  the  end  of  three  weeks  found 


128  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ourselves  at  Ottawa,  not  then  the  beautiful  capital  of 
the  Dominion,  but  even  then  one  of  the  most  pictur- 
esque and  interesting  towns  in  the  world.  We  stayed 
there  a  number  of  days,  making  delightful  little  trips 
in  the  neighborhood.  One  evening,  at  the  hotel,  we 
became  acquainted  Avith  an  intelligent  Scotchman  and 
his  wife,  and  during  our  chat  it  happened  to  come  out 
that  I  was  a  medical  man,  whereupon  the  lady  told  me 
the  most  stunning  fact  about  a  doctor  that  I  have  ever 
heard.  She  said :  "  There  is  a  travelling  physician 
here  at  the  house  just  now  who  is  getting  quite  a 
reputation.  He  is  the  most  extraordinary  doctor  you 
ever  heard  of.  He  has  n't  washed  his  hands  in  twenty 
years,  and  such  hands  you  never  saw.  They  are  cov- 
ered all  over  with  an  incrustation  as  thick  as  a  heavy 
overcoat  cloth.  He  stirs  all  of  his  medicines  with  those 
hands,  and  declares  that  the  virtue  of  his  medicines 
depends  upon  the  stirring  with  his  hands,  and  upon  his 
not  washing  them.  He  says  that  if  he  should  wash 
them  they  would  lose  their  power.  The  thumb  of  his 
right  hand  lie  never  bends,  and  I  really  believe  the 
crust  on  that  thumb  is  at  least  a  quarter  of  an  inch 
thick.  It  is  with  that  thumb  he  stirs  the  medicines  for 
the  most  difficult  cases.  Now,  doctor,"  continued  this 
intelligent  lady,  "do  you  really  think  there  can  be 
anything  in  it  ?  " 
-    I  sought  an  interview  with  this  wonderful  doctor. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  129 

He  showed  me  his  hands,  and  explained  things.  He 
added  one  piece  of  information,  namely,  that  the  right 
thumb  had  not  been  washed  in  twenty-seven  years, 
while  the  remainder  of  the  hands  had  not  been  washed 
in  twenty-two  years.  I  carefully  examined  his  hands. 
I  told  him  that  I  thought  he  might  add  fifty  years.  He 
asked  me  if  I  supposed  he  would  go  about  the  country 
lying.  I  was  interested  in  this  doctor,  and  took  some 
pains  to  inquire  about  his  success.  I  learned  from  in- 
telligent and  reliable  people  that  he  was  doing  a  very 
large  and  profitable  business,  and  much  of  it  was  among 
intelligent  people.  I  suppose  I  have  told  that  story 
(and  it  is  true  in  every  particular)  to  more  than  one 
hundred  people,  and  nearly  half  of  them  have  very 
seriously  asked  me  if  I  really  supposed  there  was  any- 
thing in  it. 

The  ignorance,  stupidity,  the  idiotcy,  of  intelligent 
people  in  regard  to  medicines  and  matters  of  health  is 
simply  astounding.  In  nothing  is  the  need  for  the 
spread  of  intelligence  so  pressing.  The  sacrifice  of 
health  and  life  from  the  cupidity  and  ignorance  of 
quack  doctors,  joined  to  the  helpless  blindness  of  the 
people,  is  something  dreadful. 


An  Eastern  dervish  was  once  asked  by  a  wealthy 
Mohammedan,  "  Of  what  service  to  society  is  an  order 

6* 


130  FIFE -MINUTE  CHATS. 

of  men  who  employ  themselves  in  speculative  notions 
of  divinity  and  medicine  ? " 

"  If  you  were  more  cautious  and  temperate  in  your 
meals,"  answered  the  dervish,  "  if  you  would  learn  to 
govern  your  passions  and  desires  by  a  due  attention  to 
abstinence,  you  all  might  be  sages,  and  have  no  occa- 
sion for  dervishes  among  you.  Your  appetite  and  ali- 
ment impair  your  understandings." 

Willich,  who  gives  this  anecdote,  says  :"  It  is  in 
infancy  and  early  age  that  the  foundation  is  laid  for 
indigestion  and  the  many  diseases  arising  from  it 
which  are  found  now  in  almost  every  family." 


In  birth,  a  thin  membrane  sometimes  appears  over 
the  child's  face  and  head.  This  is  known  as  the  child's 
cauL  It  is  often  carefully  preserved  and  highly  prized. 
To  keep  this  about  the  person,  it  is  believed,  will 
guard  against  accident  and  secure  good  fortune.  The 
following  are  advertisements  cut  from  the  London 
"  Times  "  :  — 

"  A  child's  caul  for  sale.    Apply,  etc. 

"  A  child's  caul  to  be  disposed  of  ;  a  well-known  preservative 
t       against  drowning,  etc.     Price,  ten  guineas. 
|t       "To  Mariners,  etc.     To  be  sold,  a  child's  cauL    Price,  fifteen 
'-"t      guineas.     Apply,  etc. 

"  To  be  sold,  a  child's  caul,  io  save  gentlemen  trouble.  Price, 
thirty  pounds.     Apply,  etc." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  131 


A  CHAT  ABOUT  NATURE  AND  THE   DOCTORS. 

Nature,  upon  which  we  now  depend  so  generally  for 
cures,  was,  in  the  opinion  of  physicians,  formerly  an 
intruder  and  a  nuisance  in  the  sick-room.  Dr.  Eush  is 
reported  to  have  said :  "  As  to  Nature,  I  would  treat  it 
in  the  sick-chamber  as  I  would  a  squalling  cat,  —  open 
the  door  and  drive  it  out."  We  now  treat,  for  example, 
small-pox  without  medicines.  We  give  the  patient 
pure  air,  clean  linen,  keep  his  skin  as  clean  as  possible, 
and  give  him  simple  water  as  a  drink,  —  in  fact,  leave 
him  to  Nature ;  and  when  we  see  him  covered  all  over 
with  loathsome  sores,  and  then  trust  Nature  alone  to 
cure  him,  and  find  her  successful,  we  pat  Nature  on  the 
head,  and  exclaim,  "  Well  done  ! "  In  brief,  we  have 
fallen  into  the  habit  of  thinking  that  God  is  nearly  as 
wise  as  the  graduate  of  a  medical  college.  This  may 
be  a  prejudice,  but  it  is  getting  to  be  quite  common. 

Formerly,  when  a  man  broke  his  leg,  the  doctor  put 
on  the  most  wonderful  salves  and  ointments  to  make 
the  ends  of  the  bone  unite.  In  the  autobiography  of 
Dr.  Dodimus  Duckworth  we  learn  that  he  was  called 
in  the  night  to  a  traveller  who  had  fallen  off  his  load 
and  been  run  over.  The  doctor  examined  the  leg,  and 
found  that  it  was  "  smashed  all  to  pieces."  He  imme- 
diately whipped  out  of  his  saddle-bags  a  box  of  most 


132  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

"  amazin'  intement,"  and  applied  it  thoroughly  to  the 
crushed  limb.  Dr.  Duckworth  called  early  in  the 
morning,  and  learned,  with  great  horror  as  to  his  fee, 
but  with  joy  as  to  the  "virtues  of  that  heavenly 
intement,"  that  the  man  had  stripped  off  the  bandages, 
harnessed  his  horses,  and  started  on. 

Nowadays,  when  a  man's  leg  is  broken,  we  place  the 
ends  together  and  simply  hold  them  stilL  Lo  and  be- 
hold, they  grow  together,  and  after  a  few  weeks  we 
find  the  man  walking  about  as  good  as  new.  Can  any- 
thing be  more  disgusting?  Not  a  healing  thing  has 
been  applied,  and  yet  invisible  fingers  have  ingeniously 
knit  the  broken  ends  together,  and  the  bone  is  as 
strong  as  ever. 

Formerly,  in  a  military  hospital,  the  air  was  thick 
with  the  odors  of  washes,  liniments,  and  ointments, 
which  were  constantly  applied  to  the  wounds  and 
fractures.  The  attendants  went  about  loaded  and  be- 
smeared. Now  we  visit  the  wards  of  a  military  hos- 
pital, and  find  one  man  with  a  broken  leg,  one  with  a 
frightful  tear  through  his  face,  another  with  a  terrible 
gash  in  his  flesh,  and  so  on  for  a  thousand  poor  fellows 
after  a  great  battle,  and  not  a  wash  or  liniment  among 
them.  They  give  the  sufferers  go.od  air,  good  food,  and 
keep  them  clean.  That 's  all.  They  put  on  nothing 
healing.  And  good  mother  Nature  is  busy  day  and 
night  (she  never  sleeps)  knitting,  hardening,  smoothing. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  133 

healing,  mending,  and  restoring  to  health,  strength,  and 
comeliness,  all,  except  those  who  are  so  badly  mangled 
that  she  thinks  it  on  the  whole  better  to  throw  them 
out  as  not  worth  repairing. 

Let  all  the  doctors  that  ever  lived  try  to  heal  a  sim- 
ple cut  in  the  flesh  without  Nature.  We  will  suppose 
the  man  is  dead,  and  there  is  a  slight  incision  in  his 
hand.  Now  let  the  wise  doctors  all  have  a  chance. 
Let  each  apply  his  ointment,  salve,  or  liniment.  Let 
them  bring  the  cut  surfaces  together,  and  hold  them 
there  with  adhesive  plaster.  Do  you  think  the  cut 
wiU  heal  ? 

In  one  of  the  streets  of  our  city  there  are  ten  cases 
of  fever.  Ten  doctors  are  employed.  One  is  what  is 
called  a  calomel  doctor,  one  is  a  homoeopathist,  the  third 
a  steam  doctor,  the  fourth  a  cold-water  doctor,  and  so 
on.  Each  of  these  doctors  will  solemnly  assure  you 
that  the  methods  of  the  others  are  dangerous,  —  very 
dangerous ;  that  although  the  patient  may  puU  through, 
the  chances  are,  etc.,  etc. 

The  steam  doctor  surrounds  his  patient  with  steam- 
ing-hot  blankets  and  fills  him  w^th  scalding-hot  drinks. 
The  cold-water  doctor  wraps  his  patient  with  cold  wet 
sheets  and  fills  him  with  ice-water.  The  homoeopath 
gives  the  hundred  millionth  of  a  grain  of,  say,  mer- 
cury, while  the  calomel  doctor  poisons  every  tissue  of 
his  patient's  body.     But,  strange  to  say,  the  patients 


134  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

all  recover.  What  do  you  suppose  cured  them?  Do 
you  think  the  hot  things  cured  in  one  case?  Then 
what  do  you  say  of  the  patient  who  was  filled  and 
packed  with  ice  ?  Do  you  say  that  the  three  drachms 
of  calomel  cured  one  ?  Then  what  do  you  say  of  the 
homoeopath  who  gave  but  the  hundred  millionth  part 
of  a  grain  ?  Does  not  this  look  as  though  the  patients 
got  well  in  spite  of  the  treatment  ?  We  have  not  a 
doubt  of  it.  And  a  thousand-fold  better  than  our 
opinion,  the  leading  men,  the  best  thinkers  in  the  pro- 
fession in  nearly  all  ages,  as  they  have  ripened  in  wis- 
dom, have  expressed  the  opinion  that  medicines  were 
unnecessary  and  only  mischievous.  When  the  distin- 
guished professor  in  the  medical  department  of  Harvard 
University  declared,  in  his  elaborate  address  before  the 
Massachusetts  Medical  Society,  that  if  medicines,  as 
now  used,  were  thrown  into  the  sea,  it  would  be  better 
for  mankind  and  worse  for  the  fishes,  he  uttered  the 
inmost  conviction  of  the  better  part  of  the  profession, 
though  they  chided  him  greatly  for  it  at  the  time. 

But  the  people  must  not  be  too  hard  on  the  doctors. 
How  can  we  tell  you  the  truth  ?  You  come  with  head- 
ache and  dulness,  and  ask  us  to  give  you  something  to 
take.  Now,  we  know  very  well  that  what  you  need  is 
less  food  and  more  breath  and  a  clean  skin.  But  we 
can't  afford  to  tell  you  that,  because  you  see  the  next 
time  you  had  headache  and  dulness,  you  would  pre- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  135 

scribe  for  yourseK.  Next  month  you  have  some  other 
ailment  which  needs  rest,  more  sleep,  skin-friction,  and 
a  reduction  of  food.  Suppose  we  were  to  advise  just 
these  things,  and  nothing  more.  The  next  time  you 
would  manage  it  yourself.  In  six  months  you  would 
pass  from  our  hands  into  the  ranks  of  those  hygienic 
families  who  never  call  a  physician.  Any  doctor 
would  ruin  his  practice  in  a  year  or  two  if  he  were 
to  be  perfectly  frank  with  his  patients.  We  cannot 
afford  it.  We  will  try  not  to  forget  the  good  ad- 
vice about  the  air,  food,  etc.,  but  we  must  give  you 
something,  even  if  it  is  nothing  more  than  a  bread  piU, 
to  which  we  will  direct  your  thoughts  just  enough  to 
keep  you  in  the  faith.  We  hope  you  will  pardon  this 
little  trick,  for,  candidly,  without  it  the  doctors  would 
soon  have  to  cry,  "  Othello's  occupation 's  gone." 


NATURE  AND  THE  OLD  WRITERS. 

The  way  some  medical  writers  of  the  olden  time 
talk  about  nature  reminds  one  of  the  story  of  the  Eng- 
lishman's opinion  of  the  Czar.  Mr.  Bull  had  spent  a 
year  in  St.  Petersburg,  in  the  service  of  a  railway  com- 
pany, and  had  several  times  met  the  Czar.  His  Maj- 
esty had  actually  spoken  to  him,  and  B.  was  nearly 
crazy   about   it.     On   the   way   back   to   England   he 


136  FIVE- MINUTE  CHATS. 

walked  the  deck,  gesticulated,  and  repeated,  "  The 
Czar  is  great !  The  Czar  is  great ! "  A  fellow-passen- 
ger heard  this  till  he  was  tired  of  it,  and,  stopping  the 
Englishman,  said,  "  The  Czar  may  be  great,  but  God  is 
greater  ! " 

"0  yes,"  said  Mr.  B.,  "to  be  sure;  but  then  you 
know  the  Czar  is  young  yet!" 


ABOUT  NUBSING  THE  SICK. 

Having  had  a  somewhat  large  experience  in  the 
treatment  of  the  sick,  I  shall  venture  to  give  some 
advice  to  nurses. 

If  your  patient  has  engaged  a  medical  friend,  follow 
his  every  injunction  with  the  utmost  fidelity. 

Treat  the  advice  which  old  Mr.  Brown  or  old  Mrs. 
Smith  may  give  as  an  unwarrantable  interference. 

When  the  doctor  finds  that  his  patient  has  in  his 
absence  taken  some  wonderful  panacea,  or  has  had 
some  skunk's  oil,  which  is  so  "  powerful  good,"  rubbed 
on,  he  is  false  to  the  dignity  of  his  profession  if  he 
does  not  bolt  at  once. 

While  it  is  not  to  be  doubted  that  your  immense  and 
accurate  observations  in  the  "goose-oil"  field  are  im- 
measurably valuable  to  the  world,  I  take  the  liberty  to 
remind  you  that  "many  cooks  spoil  the  broth."     So 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  137 

long  as  the  patient  will  continue  to  employ  a  doctor 
who  is  sure  to  give  him  ten  times  as  much  medicine  as 
he  can  well  stand,  even  your  invaluable  "  yarbs  "  will 
do  harm.  Of  course  we  all  know  your  motives  are  the 
best ;  still,  even  this  will  not  prevent  the  big  doses 
from  killing  him. 

If  you  are  anxious  to  do  something  for  the  sufferer, 
rub  him  with  your  naked  hands  more  or  less  hard,  as 
he  can  bear,  and  in  almost  every  possible  case  you  will 
do  him  great  good. 

In  the  name  of  oxygen,  which  is  the  great  life- 
principle  of  the  animal  body,  let  me  beg  you  to  give 
the  sick  person  a  fuU  and  constant  supply  of  fresh  air. 
If  you  keep  him  well  covered,  he  can  never  take  cold 
by  having  the  windows  open  day  and  night.  If  the 
wind  blows  upon  him,  rub  his  face  and  neck  with  your 
naked  hands  frequently,  and  there  can  never  be  a  mis- 
chievous impression  made  there. 

Eemember  that  although  a  well  man  may  live  on  in 
a  room  with  imperfect  ventilation,  a  sick  one  must 
have  the  help  of  a  pure  tonic  atmosphere. 

Eemember  that  when  typhoid  fever  attacks  an  army, 
and  there  is  a  deficiency  of  hospital  accommodations, 
those  who  lie  in  an  open  shed  or  exposed  to  the  dews 
and  storms  do  much  better  than  those  who  enjoy  the 
average  hospital  facilities. 

It  is  very  doubtful  if  there  is  a  single  possible  dis- 


138  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ease  in  which  the  patient  should  not  have  cold  water 
ad  libitum. 

Every  sick-room  should  have  two  narrow  beds,  and 
the  patient  should  be  changed  from  one  to  the  other 
frequently.  The  beds  should  be  narrow,  that  the  du- 
ties of  the  nurse  may  be  performed  with  ease  to  the 
patient  and  to  herseK.  Suppose  the  case  be  typhoid 
fever.  In  two  or  three  hours  the  sheets,  mattress,  and 
blankets  are  filled  with  poisonous  exhalations  from  the 
sick  man.  These  poisonous  gases  become  a  source  of 
serious  irritation.  Suppose  that  every  three  hours  the 
sufferer  is  lifted  into  a  fresh  bed,  and  the  hot,  impure 
bed  is  taken  apart  and  exposed  to  the  sun  or  to  a 
draught  of  pure  air.  I  know  of  nothing  in  the  nursing 
of  the  sick  so  comforting  and  so  curative  as  this 
change  of  beds,  with  a  frequent  use  of  soap  and 
water  all  over  the  skin.  None  but  a  sensitive  fever 
patient  who  has  enjoyed  this  constant  change  can  ap- 
preciate its  renovating  and  refreshing  effects,  and  none 
but  the  intelligent  medical  man,  who  knows  the  rapid 
accumulation  of  poisonous  effluvia  from  the  feverish 
body  and  its  mischievous  reaction  on  the  patient,  can 
appreciate  its  remedial  influence. 

This  advice  is  particularly  applicable  to  patients 
suffering  from  active,  acute  diseases.  But  it  is  appli- 
cable in  a  degree  to  every  sick  person,  for  every  dis- 
eased body  eliminates  large  quantities  of  morbid  mat- 
ter which  rapidly  accumulate  in  the  bed. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  139 

What  a  piece  of  business  it  is  to  let  a  patient  lie  in 
bed  a  week  without  even  a  change  of  sheets,  and  dose 
him  one  day  with  a  cathartic  to  make  his  bowels  move, 
and  the  next  day  with  an  opiate  to  make  them  quiet, 
the  next  day  with  another  dose  to  make  them  move 
again,  and  on  the  fourth  day  another  opiate  to  make 
them  quiet !  N"ow,  in  the  name  of  the  sick  and  suffer- 
ing, I  beg  to  know  when  doctors  will  stop  playing  this 
farce. 

Not  to  discuss  the  question  whether  the  sick  should 
ever  take  drugs,  I  want  to  say  that  every  person  should 
be  bathed  frequently.  There  is  not  a  possible  excep- 
tion to  this  rule.  If  the  sick  one  has  fever,  as  almost 
every  sick  person  has,  there  is  urgent  reason  for  the 
frequent  use  of  the  bath. 


MECHANICAL  APPARATUS  IN  THE  TREATMENT 
OF  SPINAL  CURVATURES. 

Amoxg  civilized  peoples  curvatures  of  the  spine  are 
becoming  common.  They  are  especially  prevalent  in 
the  United  States.  There  are  two  principal  varieties, 
—  the  forward  curvature,  and  the  sideways  curvature. 
The  forward  is  sefen  in  stooping  shoulders,  and  the 
sideways  in  a  sideways  bending  of  the  trunk.  Of  a 
hundred  cases  of  decided  curvature,  ninety-nine  belong 
to  the  forward  and  one  to  the  sideways  class. 


140  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Every  case  of  curvature  of  the  spine  is  more  or  less 
dependent  upon  muscular  weakness.  Generally,  a  lack 
of  muscle  is  the  cause  of  the  deformity. 

The  spine  is  like  the  mast  of  a  ship,  held  in  position 
by  stays.  Cut  away  the  ropes,  and  the  mast  will  soon 
give  way.  The  mast  has  no  power  to  support  itself ;  so 
the  spine  has  no  power  to  support  itself,  it  must  be 
kept  in  position  by  the  muscles. 

A  large  majority  of  cases  of  spinal  curvature  among 
grown  people  may  be  remedied,  and  I  need  not  say 
that  every  case  when  cured  is  cured  by  developing  the 
muscles.  When  a  mast  is  found  leaning  to  one  side, 
the  ropes  must  be  strengthened  on  the  weak  side.  So 
when  a  spine  is  found  bent,  it  can  only  be  straightened 
by  strengthening  the  muscles  on  the  weak  side. 

Tlie  people  do  not  know  about  this  dependence  of  the 
sptTie  upon  the  muscles,  and  certain  enterprising  medical 
men,  taking  advantage  of  this  ignorance,  have  intro- 
duced various  mechanical  contrivances  for  pressing 
against  the  projecting  portion  of  the  ribs,  and  drawing 
back  the  shoulders.  These  contrivances  they  have  sold 
in  immense  numbers,  at  immense  prices.  All  this 
waste  in  money  might  be  borne,  but  the  injury  to  those 
who  have  worn  the  machinery  is  incalculable.  Not 
only  are  they  not  improved  in  form,  but  the  appa- 
ratus prevents  the  play  of  the  muscles,  and  the  real 
difficulty  is  thereby  increased.     It  requires  but  little 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  141 

thought  to  comprehend  the  uselessness  and  inevitable 
mischief  of  an  apparatus  which  is  put  around  the  chest, 
and  so  tightened  that  any  considerable  pressure  is 
made  upon  the  prominent  point.  If  ten  pounds'  press- 
ure be  made  upon  the  projecting  point,  just  ten  pounds' 
pressure  must  be  made  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  chest ; 
and  although  the  pressure  on  the  opposite  side  may  be 
disturbed,  it  must  compress  the  chest  sadly,  and  arrest 
the  growth  of  the  muscles,  to  say  nothing  of  the  inter- 
ference with  respiration  and  other  vital  functions. 

Stevens  tells  us  of  an  attempt  by  a  company  of 
Arabs  to  draw  a  large  stick  of  timber  out  of  the  water. 
It  required  one  hundred  men  to  pull  it  out.  First,  ten 
men  would  take  hold  and  pull  awhile,  then  ten  oth- 
ers, and  so  on.  After  an  hour's  pulling  in  this  way, 
they  gave  it  up  as  impracticable.  This  illustrates  a 
principle  which  is  seen  in  the  treatment  of  a  curvature 
of  the  spine  by  pressure.  This  yoimg  woman  had  a 
straight  spine  four  years  ago.  The  muscles  were  weak. 
The  curvature  began.  Nature  resisted.  It  was  com- 
paratively easy  to  resist  then,  when  the  spine  was 
nearly  straight.  But  the  mischief  would  go  on.  Na- 
ture loses  her  advantage.  Her  power  of  resistance 
becomes  less  and  less,  and  the  deformity  is  at  length 
painfully  obvious.  To  speak  quite  within  bounds,  it  is 
now  twenty  times  more  difficult  for  nature  to  correct 
this  fault  than  it  was  just  after  it  began.     Now,  a  press- 


142  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS, 

ure  which  is  quite  hard  enough  to  check  the  circula- 
tion in  the  muscles,  but  which  produces  no  effect 
whatever  upon  the  bony  deformity,  is  kept  up  month 
after  month,  perhaps  day  and  night. 

The  people,  not  knowing  that  the  position  of  the 
spine  depends  entirely  upon  the  strength  of  the  mus-^ 
cles,  are  readily  caught  with  the  notion  that  the  way 
to  cure  a  lateral  curvature,  for  instance,  is  to  apply 
pressure  to  the  projecting  ribs.  They  don't  see  that 
the  pressure  on  one  side  must  be  exactly  equalled  by 
pressure  on  the  other.  In  other  words,  that  in  order  to 
produce  five  or  ten  pounds'  pressure  on  the  projecting 
ribs,  the  chest  must  be  ruinously  squeezed.  Thousands 
have  been  crippled  and  spoiled  by  this  absurd  press- 
ure, and  I  have  never  known  a  case  cured  by  it. 

The  people  do  not  see  that  in  order  to  straighten  the 
spine  by  pressure,  it  must  be  ten  times  as  great  as  it  is 
possible  to  make  it,  and  leave  the  breath  of  life  in  the 
poor  victim. 

The  only  really  effective  treatment  is  exercise.  The 
best  exercise  is  found  in  carrying  a  weight  upon  top 
of  the  head.  This  weight  may  be  the  graduated  iron 
crown,  or,  if  you  please,  simply  a  bag  of  beans.  For  a 
girl,  it  may  range  from  ten  to  eighty  pounds.  By  car- 
rying the  weight  with  the  chin  drawn  in  close  to  the 
neck,  and  the  spine  quite  erect,  more  will  be  done  to 
cultivate  the  muscles  which  hold  the  spine  erect  in 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  143 

half  an  hour,  than  by  any  calisthenic  or  other  similar 
exercise  would  he  accomplished  in  a  dozen  half-hours. 
If  the  spinal  curvature  is  lateral,  it  is  well  to  have  the 
hand  on  the  defective  side  carried  constantly  up  on  the 
weight  to  steady  it.  This  position  of  the  arm  on  the 
defective  side  straightens  the  spine  for  the  time  being, 
and  thus  contributes  to  that  change  in  the  interverte- 
bral substance  which  must  be  accomplished  before  the 
spinal  column  can  resume  its  natural  position ;  besides, 
in  this  position  the  muscles  develop  much  more  rap- 
idly. 

Shoulder-braces  have  been  much  advised.  I  suppose 
that  a  million  pair  of  shoulder-braces  are  yearly  sold 
in  this  country.  If  they  hold  the  shoulders  back,  and 
thus  dispense  with  the  muscles  which  should  keep  the 
shoulders  in  position,  they  are  about  as  likely  to  im- 
prove the  muscles  appointed  to  perform  the  task,  as  a 
sling  about  the  neck  which  carries  the  arm  is  likely  to 
improve  the  muscles  of  the  arm.  The  weight  on  the 
head  is  the  best  treatment  for  stooping  neck  and  shoul- 
ders. As  much  as  you  can  carry  on  the  head,  half  an 
hour  in  the  morning  and  half  an  hour  in  the  evening, 
will  soon  give  you  an  erect  posture,  and  make  you 
walk  like  a  very  queen. 


144  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


NINE  WAYS' TO  COMMIT  SmCIDE. 

1.  Wear  narrow,  thin  shoes. 

2.  Wear  a  "  snug  "  corset. 

3.  Sit  up  in  hot,  unventHated  rooms  till  midnight. 

4.  Sleep  on  feathers  in  a  small,  close  room. 

5.  Eat  rich  food  rapidly  and  at  irregular  times. 

6.  Use  coffee,  tea,  spirits,  and  tobacco. 

7.  Stuff  yourself  with  cake,  confectionery,  and  sweet- 
meats, and  swallow  a  few  patent  medicines  to  get  rid 
of  them. 

8.  (Marryib,  fashionable  wife  and  live  beyond  your 
incomef) 

9.  Employ  a  fashionable  and  needy  doctor  to  attend 
you  in  every  slight  ailment. 


CHAT   WITH   MOTHERS. 

In  the  management  of  your  little  ones,  nobody 
doubts  your  love,  nobody  doubts  your  readiness  to  sac- 
rifice yourselves  for  them ;  but  your  methods,  the  wis- 
dom of  your  service,  may  often  justly  be  questioned. 

At  this  time  I  ask  your  attention  to  a  suggestion  or 
two  in  regard  to  your  methods  of  feeding  your  babies. 
You  know  how  vital  regidarity  is  with  us  grown  people. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  145 

We  may  take  the  plainest  food,  and  in  moderate  quan- 
tity; if  no  attention  be  paid  to  times  and  seasons,  our 
digestion  will  soon  be  deranged.  A  man  may  eat 
nothing  but  beef  and  stale  bread,  the  two  best  articles 
of  food  with  which  we  are  acquainted,  and  he  may 
take  them  in  proper  quantities,  but  in  a  month  he  will 
have  dyspepsia,  if  he  constantly  changes  the  hours  of 
his  meals.  It  is  not  the  hind  of  food  we  eat  at  the 
railroad  stations,  but  the  irregularity  of  the  hours  of 
eating,  which  so  deranges  our  stomachsj  Now,  we  all 
know  this  to  be  true  of  ourselves,  — grown-up,  matured, 
tough  people ;  we  believe  it  to  rest  upon  a  physiologi- 
cal law.  And,  in  view  of  this  law,  let  us  consider  how 
you  feed  your  baby.  You  put  it  to  your  breast  when- 
ever it  is  uneasy.  No  matter  what  makes  it  cry ;  if  it 
is  hungry,  or  cold,  or  has  a  pin  stuck  in  its  back,  or  is 
surfeited  and  has  the  colic,  —  no  matter  what  may  be 
the  cause  of  its  crying  or  worrying,  —  you  treat  it  with 
the  same  remedy, — a  dose  of  milk.  The  little  thing 
does  not  know  that  milk  is  bad  for  it,  and  so  it  goes  on 
sucking.  It  has  learned  to  do  but  one  thing,  —  to 
suck ;  and  in  its  eagerness  to  get  relief  it  will  do  that 
thing  fifty  times  a  day.  In  this  way  it  is  made  fever- 
ish and  thirsty.  Its  little  pulse  will  run  up  to  a  very 
high  rate.  It  is  suffering  with  thirst.  Like  all  crea-. 
tures  with  thirst,  it  needs  water.  Nothing  could  be 
worse  than  milk.     It  is  poison  even  to  a  strong  man 

7 


146  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

with  a  fever.  What  do  you  give  your  baby  with  a 
fever  ?  One  thing,  and  one  only,  and  that  is  milk. 
Milk,  milk,  is  the  food  and  drink  of  every  baby,  given 
to  it  five,  ten,  twenty,  or  fifty  times  a  day,  just  as  it 
happens.  At  night  it  is  coaxed  to  dine  every  time  it 
wakes  up. 

A  baby  six  to  twelve  months  old  should  be  nursed 
about  eight  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and  it  should  have 
time  to  get  all  it  wants.  Every  three  hours,  till  bed- 
time or  nine  o'clock  at  night,  it  should  have  a  good 
meal,  which  should  be  given  with  perfect  regularity. 
During  the  night,  nothing  whatever.  In  a  month  the 
baby  will  not  only  become  accustomed  to  this,  but 
upon  this  system  the  little  chap  will  flourish  as  he 
never  did  before.  More  than  half  of  the  stomach  and 
bowel  diseases,  fevers  and  fits,  from  which  babies  suffer 
and  die,  come  from  irregularity  and  excess  in  feeding 
them. 


A  MOTHER'S  DUTY. 

Consider  it  your  religious  duty  to  take  out-door 
exercise  without  fail  each  day.  Sweeping  and  trotting 
around  the  house  will  not  take  its  place;*  the  exhilara- 
tion of  the  open  air  and  change  of  scene  are  absolutely 
necessary.  O,  I  know  all  about  Lucy's  gown  that  is 
not  finished,  and  Tommy's  jacket,  and  even  his  coat,  — 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  I47 

his  buttonless  coat  thrown  into  your  lap,  as  if  to  add 
the  last  straw  to  the  camel's  back ;  stiU  I  say,  up  and 
out.  Is  it  not  more  important  that  your  children  in 
their  tender  years  should  not  be  left  motherless,  and 
that  they  should  not  be  born  to  that  feeble  constitution 
of  body  which  will  blight  every  blessing  ?  Let  buttons 
and  strings  go.  You  will  take  hold  of  them  with  more 
vigor  when  you  return,  bright  and  refreshed;  and  if 
every  stitch  is  not  finished  at  such  a  moment,  still 
remember  that  "she  who  hath  done  what  she  could" 
is  entitled  to  no  mean  praise.  Your  husband  is  un- 
doubtedly the  best  of  men,  though  there  are  malicious 
people  who  might  answer  that  that  was  not  saying 
much  for  him.  Still,  he  would  never,  to  the  end  of 
time,  dream  of  what  you  are  dying  of  So  accept  my 
advice  and  take  the  matter  in  hand  yourseK. 


OUR  LITTLE  PEOPLE. 

The  fearful  mortality  among  our  children,  and  the 
still  more  fearful  suffering  among  the  unnumbered  lit- 
tle ones  to  whom  death  is  denied,  render  the  subject 
of  the  management  of  children  one  of  general  and 
painful  interest. 

That  a  feeble,  suffering  child  may,  by  a  wise  hygiene, 
be  made  vigorous  and  happy,  many  glad  mothers  will 


148  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

warmly  testify ;  and  that  of  the  host  who  yearly  perish, 
thousands  might  be  preserved,  we  all  believe. 

No  thoughtful  reader  of  history,  no  discriminating 
observer,  no  intelligent  physiologist,  can  entertain  a 
doubt  that  the  child  in  utero  is  influenced  for  good  or 
evU  by  surrounding  circumstances.  Not  only  may 
general  integrity  of  physical,  mental,  and  moral  con- 
stitution be  implanted  in  the  new-bom  child  with 
absolute  certainty,  but  an  extraordinary  susceptibility 
of  culture  in  any  special  department  may  be  conferred 
upon  the  being  before  it  begins  its  independent  exist- 
ence. I  have  scores  of  interesting  facts  with  which  to 
illustrate  the  potency  of  pre-natal  impressions,  but  my 
present  purpose  is  to  speak  of  the  management  of  the 
chUd  after  its  birth. 

If  upon  his  first  appearance  the  little  chap  cry 
lustily,  bathe  him  in  water  a  little  cool,  using  soap 
freely.  If,  on  the  contrary,  his  cry  and  movements  be 
rather  feeble,  use  tepid  water.  Be  rapid,  but  gentle. 
He  should  be  exposed  to  the  air  but  a  few  moments. 
The  wiping  should  be  done  by  wrapping  the  little  red 
stranger  in  warm  soft  towels,  and  then  passing  your 
hands  gently  over  the  towels. 

The  skirt-bands  must  be  left  very  loose.  To  give 
the  baby's  lungs  and  heart  fair  play,  you  must  leave 
the  dress  about  the  chest  and  waist  so  loose  that  if  the 
child  be  held   up  by  the  shoulders,  its  entire  dress. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  149 

except  as  sustained  by  the  shoulders,  will  fall  to  the 
floor.  With  such  a  dress,  other  things  being  equal,  the 
little  one  will  part  with  that  characteristic  dark  red  color 
with  which  it  begins  life  in  about  half  the  usual  time. 
The  soft  bones  surrounding  the  small  feeble  lungs,  now 
for  the  first  time  beginning  to  move,  are  so  placed  that 
under  the  slightest  pressure  they  give  way,  and  the 
capacity  of  the  lungs  is  reduced.  Any  one  acquainted 
with  the  anatomy  and  physiology  of  the  thorax  of  a 
new-born  babe  must  be  shocked  when  he  sees  the 
nurse  employing  the  strength  of  her  fingers  in  pinning 
the  bands  of  the  skirt  about  the  body  of  the  poor  little 
helpless  one.  I  have  in  many  cases  seen  the  respira- 
tion and  the  pulse  of  a  baby  immediately  and  decidedly 
affected  by  enlarging  the  skirt-bands. 

Among  the  blunders  in  the  management  of  our 
precious  little  ones,  I  must  mention  the  common  prac- 
tice of  leaving  their  arms  naked.  This  is  a  most 
absurd  and  mischievous  fashion.  That  grand,  wise  old 
man.  Dr.  John  C.  Warren,  whose  memory  is  so  sacred 
to  those  of  us  who  were  his  pupils,  said,  with  solemn 
earnestness,  in  one  of  his  lectures :  — 

"  Gentlemen,  the  mothers  of  Boston  kill  five  hundred 
babies  yearly  by  allowing  their  arms  to  go  naked. 
Gentlemen,  take  the  glass  part  of  a  thermometer  out 
of  the  tin  frame,  and  put  the  bulb  in  a  baby's  mouth  ; 
watch  the  tube ;  soon  the  mercury  will  rise  to  ninety- 


150  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

eight  degrees.  Now  take  the  bulb  out  of  the  baby's 
mouth,  and  if  the  weather  be  cool,  put  it  in  its  hand, 
and  close  the  little  hand  upon  it.  Don't  be  in  a  hurry. 
The  mercury  will  soon  begin  to  sink.  It  will  go  down 
and  down  until  it  reaches  sixty  degrees.  The  small 
naked  arm  and  hand  are  very  cold  as  compared  with 
the  chest ;  and  when  the  cold  currents  of  blood  come 
back  from  the  cold  arms  and  hands,  they  play  the  mis- 
chief. Gentlemen,  I  said  five  hundred  babies  are  sac- 
rificed yearly  by  this  absurd  vanity ;  I  might  have 
doubled  the  number  without  danger  of  exaggeration." 

I  may  add  that  in  a  delicate  child  there  is  the  same 
reason  for  protecting  its  hands  that  there  is  for  protect- 
ing its  feet.  As  the  baby  has  both  feet  and  hands  in 
the  mother's  lap,  there  is  as  good  reason  for  protecting 
one  as  the  other.  Whenever  we  adults  take  to  walking 
with  our  hands  on  the  cold  wet  earth,  we  shall  be  com- 
pelled to  wear  the  thick  shoes  and  stockings  on  our 
hands ;  while  if  we  carry  our  feet  up  high  from  the 
ground  as  we  now  cany  our  hands,  we  may  wear  the 
kid  gloves  on  them. 

During  the  cold  season,  saying  nothing  of  the  hands, 
I  insist  that  the  arms  shall  be  covered  with  at  least 
two  thicknesses  of  woollen. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  151 


THE  BABY'S  NIGHT-GOWN". 

The  baby's  night-gown  should  be  white  flannel.  The 
red  flannel  many  mothers  fancy  may  poison  its  skin. 
The  old-time  red  dyes  were  well  enough,  but  the  pres- 
ent reds  should  not  be  worn  next  the  skin  by  either 
old  or  young.  They  are  particularly  mischievous  to 
the  delicate  skin  of  our  little  people.  All  of  the  mod- 
ern dyes  are  poisonous.  If  there  are  any  exceptions, 
I  have  not  been  able  to  learn  the  fact,  although  I  have 
taken  pains  to  qiiestion  those  who  are  engaged  in  the 
dyeing  business.  The  little  ones  should  have  white 
flannel  next  their  skins  day  and  night.  It  is  the  only 
proper  material  to  place  next  the  skins  of  any  human 
being  day  or  night,  no  matter  in  what  climate  or  at 
what  season  of  the  year. 

Perhaps  I  ought  to  add,  that  the  superiority  of  flannel 
is  greater  during  the  summer  than  during  the  winter. 
In  the  hottest  weather,  a  single  thickness  of  flannel 
for  a  night-gown  wiU  give  the  baby  abundant  protec- 
tion, whereas  if  it  wears  cotton  next  the  skin,  it  is  soon 
wet  with  perspiration,  and  then  there  must  be  two  or 
three  more  thicknesses  over  it  to  furnish  the  protection 
against  a  breeze,  which  a  single  thickness  of  flannel 
next  the  skin  could  afford.  Our  little  people  should 
have  their  night-dresses  made  with  drawers  closed  at 


152  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  bottom.  With  this  dress,  and  lying  upon  a  fresh 
straw  pillow,  with  the  same  for  the  little  head,  and 
sleeping  in  a  well-ventilated  room,  the  small  shaver 
will  have  a  chance,  even  in  the  hottest  season,  not  only 
to  sleep  sweetly,  but  to  grow.  Besides  these  and  other 
considerations  which  I  will  not  name,  the  wooUen  dress 
serves,  by  its  mechanical  irritation,  to  keep  up  a  better 
circulation  in  the  skin. 

Don't  rock  them  either  in  crib  or  chair.  The  motion 
is  an  unhealthy  one.  Try  it  yourself !  Eock  yourself 
half  an  hour  steadily,  and  see  how  you  feel  I  am  glad 
that  rockers  are  going  out  of  fashion.  They  have 
injured  thousands  of  our  little  people. 

Many  adults  can't  ride  backward  in  the  cars  or  in  a 
carriage.  "When  you  have  your  baby  out  for  a  ride  in 
his  little  carriage,  don't  push  him  backward.  I  have 
often  noticed  the  little  passengers  as  they  were  jolted 
along  backward,  off  one  curbstone  and  up  another, 
turning  their  eyes  this  way  and  that  in  a  painfully 
bewildered  way.  The  only  avenue  to  their  souls  which 
is  fairly  opened  is  that  through  the  eyes.  Pray  don't 
set  that  one  all  topsy-turvy. 

Don't  bounce  it  on  your  knee,  or  give  it  that  great 
toss  up  and  down  in  your  hands.  No  one  but  a  first- 
class  circus-tumbler  can  stand  such  nonsense.  How 
many  fatal  diseases  of  the  head  have  originated  in  this 
common  practice  of  the  nursery  I  know  not,  but  am 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  153 

certain  the  number  must  have  been  very  large.  And 
I  have  no  doubt  that  a  still  greater  number  must  have 
been  hurt  who  have  contrived  to  survive  the  stupid 
blunder. 

If  you  think  your  baby  lacks  exercise,  rub  and  knead 
its  little  naked  body  gently,  but  thoroughly,  morning 
and  evening.  This  will  do  wonders  in  giving  the  little 
fellow  not  only  much  from  your  vital  magnetism,  but 
wiU  contribute  to  its  circulation  and  the  activity  of  its 
abdominal  viscera. 


LET  THE  BABY  SLEEP  ALONE. 

The  baby  should  never  be  allowed  to  sleep  in  the 
bed  between  the  parents.  Several  good  objections  must 
occur  to  every  one ;  I  need  name  but  one.  It  must, 
when  thus  placed,  constantly  inhale  the  poisonous 
emanations  from  the  bodies  of  the  two  adults.  It 
should  sleep  in  a  crib  by  the  side  of  its  mother's 
bed.  The  best  bed  at  all  seasons  of  the  year  is  one 
of  oat-straw.  The  straw  should  be  changed  and  the 
tick  washed  as  often  as  once  in  two  weeks.  This  gives 
little  trouble,  and  involves  little  or  no  expense,  while 
the  perfect  cleanliness  and  sweetness  contribute  not 
a  little  to  the  baby's  health.  During  the  cold  season 
a  woollen  blanket  should  be  spread  over  the  straw  bed 
to  increase  the  warmth.  For  covering,  woollen  blan- 
7* 


154  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

kets  should  be  used,  and  all  these  blankets  should  be 
frequently  washed. 

Does  he  kick  off  the  bedclothes  ?  Then  fasten  them 
on  the  sides  of  the  crib  with  tapes  or  little  knobs.  The 
little  chap  may  then  kick  ever  so  obstinately,  he  can't 
imcover  himself 

I  forgot  to  speak  of  this  in  connection  with  the  bed. 
The  proximate,  if  not  the  original,  cause  of  a  large 
proportion  of  deaths  among  American  babies  is  some 
malady  of  the  brain.  When  we  suppose  the  death  to 
result  from  dysentery  or  cholera  infantum,  the  imme- 
diate cause  of  the  death  is  an  affection  of  the  brain 
supervening  upon  the  bowel  disease.  The  heads  of 
American  babies  are,  for  the  most  part,  little  furnaces  ! 
What  mischief  must  come  from  keeping  them  buried 
twenty  hours  out  of  every  twenty-four  in  feather  pil- 
lows !  It  makes  me  shiver  to  think  of  the  number  of 
deaths  among  these  precious  little  ones  which  I  have 
myself  seen,  where  I  had  no  doubt  that  cool  straw 
pUlows  would  have  saved  them. 

The  hair  pillow  is  inferior  to  straw,  because  it  can- 
not, like  straw,  be  made  perfectly  clean  and  fresh  by  a 
frequent  change.  Do  riot  fail  to  keep  their  little  heads 
cool. 

The  common  baby  cap  for  the  baby's  head  has  been 
mostly  abandoned.  I  am  glad  of  it.  It  certainly 
increases  the  heat  of  the  head,  and   if  worn  during 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  155 

the  day,  it  must  likewise  be  worn  at  night,  which 
increases  the  perspiration  about  its  head  and  neck, 
and  thus  increases  its  susceptibility  to  colds  and  other 
kindred  affections.  Besides,  the  hair,  which  is  na- 
ture's covering,  grows  better  when  no  artificial  cover- 
ing is  used. 

During  the  greatest  heat  of  summer  the  child  may 
often  be  laid  on  the  naked  canvas  generally  found 
stretched  across  the  bottom  of  the  crib.  And  if  the 
baby's  head  be  allowed  to  rest  on  the  same  canvas, 
which  may  be  raised  a  little  for  that  purpose  by  a  joint 
in  the  frame  on  which  the  canvas  is  nailed,  it  will  be 
found  a  great  luxury.  The  canvas,  with  a  fresh  sheet 
and  a  soft  flannel  night-gown,  make  a  perfect  sleeping 
arrangement  for  the  hottest  nights. 

And  what  a  luxury  it  is,  if  you  can  afford  the  space, 
to  have  two  cribs,  so  as  to  change  from  one  to  the 
other  during  the  hot  season.  A  change  of  the  straw 
pillow  on  which  the  little  body  lies,  and  likewise  of 
that  which  supports  the  head,  will  do  very  well  with- 
out a  change  of  cribs,  if  the  crib  be  entirely  open  at 
the  sides.  And  this,  I  must  say,  is  very  desirable, 
giving,  as  it  does,  an  opportunity  for  a  perfect  venti- 
lation of  every  part  of  the  bed. 

It  is  unnecessary  to  condemn  the  practice  of  putting 
a  veil  over  the  baby's  face,  to  keep  away  the  flies.  I 
have  seen  a  baby  put  down  in  the  bottom  of  a  box 


156  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

in  July,  and  then,  down  in  there,  its  little  face  covered 
with  a  thick  green  veil  to  keep  the  flies  away.  It 
does  keep  the  flies  away,  true  enough,  but  at  the  same 
time  it  keeps  away  the  fresh  air. 

The  number  of  little  ones  killed  by  overheated  and 
unventilated  nurseries  in  this  country  annually  is  fright- 
ful.    God  alone  can  number  them. 


BABY'S  FIRST  STEPS. 

There  is  very  little  lime  in  the  bones  of  a  new-bom 
child,  and  the  practice  of  teaching  them  to  bear  their 
weight  and  walk  early  often  produces  curved  legs. 

By  all  means  discourage  any  premature  attempts  at 
walking  on  the  part  of  the  chUd,  if  you  wish  to  avoid 
the  risk  of  this  deformity. 


A  GREAT  step  is  gained,  says  that  fine  moralist, 
Charles  Julius  Hare,  when  a  child  has  learned  that 
there  is  no  necessary  connection  between  liking  a  thing 
and  doing  it. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  157 


A  WOKD  TO  CHILDREN. 

Dear  children,  listen,  while  I  tell  you  "something 
which  deeply  concerns  your  welfare.  The  subject  is 
the  shape  of  your  bodies.  God  knew  the  best  shape. 
He  created  us  upright,  in  his  own  image. 

None  of  the  inferior  animals  walk  upright. 

God  fitted  all  the  great  vital  organs  in  your  bodies 
to  an  erect  spine.  Do  your  shoulders  ever  stoop  for- 
ward ?  If  they  do,  the  lungs,  heart,  liver,  and  stomach 
fall  down  out  of  their  natural  places.  Of  course,  they 
can't  do  their  work  well.  Ta  show  how  this  is,  I  will 
tell  you  that  when  you  bend  forward  you  can  take  only 
about  half  as  much  air  into  the  lungs  as  you  can  when 
you  stand  up  straight.  As  I  have  said,  God  has  so  ar- 
ranged the  great  organs  in  the  body,  that  they  can't  do 
their  duty  well  except  when  the  body  is  straight.  O, 
how  it  distresses  me  to  see  the  dear  children,  whom  I 
love  so  much,  bending  over  their  school-desks,  and 
walking  with  their  heads  and  shoulders  drooping !  My 
dear  ones,  if  you  would  have  a  strong  spine  and  vigorous 
lungs,  heart,  liver,  and  stomach,  you  must  now,  while 
you  are  young,  learn  to  walk  erect. 

If  a  boy  were  about  to  leave  this  country  for  Japan, 
never  to  return,  and  were  to  come  to  me,  and  ask  for 
rules  to  preserve  his  health,  I  should  say,  "  I  am  glad 


158  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

to  see  you,  and  will  give  you  four  rules,  which,  carefully 
observed,  will  be  pretty  sure  to  preserve  your  health." 
He  might  say  to  me,  "  Four  are  a  good  many ;  I  fear 
I  may  forget  some  of  them ;  give  me  one,  the  most 
important  one,  and  I  promise  not  to  forget  it."  I 
should  reply,  "Well,  my  dear  boy,  if  I  can  give  you 
but  one,  it  is  this:  — 

"Keep  yourself  straight,  —  that  is,  sit  up  straight; 
stand  up  straight ;  walk  up  straight ;  and,  when  in  bed 
at  night,  don't  put  two  or  three  pillows  under  your  head, 
as  though  intent  on  watching  your  toes  all  night."  And 
I  believe  that  in  this  I  should  give  the  most  important 
rule  which  can  be  gi^en  for  the  preservation  of  health 
and  long  life. 

My  dear  children,  don't  forget  it. 


CONDUCT  OF  CHILDREN  BEFORE  VISITORS. 

I  SOMETIMES  indulge  in  a  pair  of  new  trousers.  A 
few  weeks  ago  a  pair  of  light  drabs  came  home,  and 
on  the  next  evening  they  were  worn  in  making  a  call 
upon  a  dear  friend  in  a  distant  part  of  the  city.  Little 
Eddie  always  has  a  piece  of  bread-and-butter  between 
the  different  hours.  On  that  particular  evening  he 
had  a  large  piece,  and  I  rather  think  buttered  on  both 
sides.     Samuel  Johnson,   Esq.,  the    renovating  artist. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  159 

affirms  his  conviction  that  while  the  grease  can  he 
removed,  he  fears  that  the  shade  of  drab  will  be  so 
changed  that  the  pants  will  look  worse  than  now. 
They  shall  be  hung  up  as  a  memento  of  dear  little 
Eddie's  fondness  for  —  refreshments. 

There  are  few  weaknesses  which  surprise  us  like 
the  indifference  of  parents  to  the  noise  and  familiari- 
ties of  their  children.  Much  of  the  fondling  of  chil- 
dren by  visitors  is  a  matter  of  necessity.  The  stout 
little  democrats  will  keep  the  peace  only  on  condi- 
tion that  visitors  give  their  entire  time  to  them. 
Suppose  you  prefer  to  converse  with  the  father  and 
mother,  they  cry  out,  "Say,  Mr.  Smith!  say,  say, 
Mr.  Smith  !  M-i-s-t-e-r  S-m-i-t-h,  s-a-y !  Mr.  Smith ! 
Why  ? " 

The  mother  will  remark  now,  that  "  the  dear  little 
fellow  has  such  an  inquiring  mind ;  it  is  '  why,  why, 
why,'  from  morning  till  night." 

Occasionally  children  may  be  found  who  cry  "Why?" 
because  they  really  want  to  know  something.  In  that 
case,  unless  the  conversation  between  the  adults  is 
particularly  important,  the  visitors  and  all  should 
stop  to  explain.  "Eddie  is  a  sweet,  darling  cherub," 
but  it  should  never  be  forgotten,  in  the  absence  of  a 
contrary  decision  by  the  Supreme  Court,  that  grown 
people  have  rights  that  children  are  bound  to 
respect. 


160  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

The  writer  has  a  hundred  times  been  one  among  the 
"groan"  people,  where  parents  have  failed  to  recog- 
nize this  law  of  human  society.  It  may  be  proper  to 
remark  in  regard  to  this  "  why,"  so  much  repeated  by 
children,  that  while  it  is  often  the  voice  of  a  real  and 
eager  curiosity,  it  is  much  more  frequently  the  noisy 
cry  of  vacancy.  The  most  inferior  children  are  not 
long  in  finding  out  that  the  best  means  of  securing 
the  attention  of  older  persons  is  this  "  why,  why  ?  " 

Let  one  of  the  ladies  or  gentlemen  present  express 
an  opinion  in  reference  to  the  tendencies  in  the  pres- 
ent social  life  of  France,  and  one  of  these  little  apple- 
headed  chaps  will  set  up  a  regular  scream  of  "  Why  ? 
why?  why?" 

I  used  to  visit  at  a  beautiful  home  where  there  were 
no  children.  After  a  separation  of  twelve  years,  the 
old  intimacy  has  recently  been  renewed.  Two  noble 
boys  and  one  sweet  little  girl  have  been  added  since 
our  former  visiting-days.  With  my  love  for  children, 
the  presence  of  the  bright  little  ones  would  add  an 
attraction  to  my  friend's  home,  but  for  one  unhappy 
hallucination.  My  friends  have  been  seized  with  a 
mania  for  giving  their  children  the  advantages  of 
society.  They  argue  that  the  way  to  make  children 
smart  is  to  bring  them  forward.  To  visit  that  house 
now  is  like  going  to  the  theatre.  The  little  ones  are 
the  actors,  we  adults  look  on  and  listen.     We  might 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  ■     161 

perhaps  get  in  a  word  edgewise  now  and  then,  but  I 
have  noticed  that  the  children  do  not  like  any  by-play. 
The  best  way  is  to  give  one's  self  exclusively  and 
unreservedly  to  the  children.  Thus  all  struggle  is 
avoided,  peace  is  secured,  and  the  parents  are  delighted. 
How  much  better  than  to  battle  with  the  lusty,  deter- 
mined youngsters  for  a  chance  to  speak  or  to  hear 
your  friends  !  How  can  parents  be  so  blind  ?  If  your 
visitors  are  well-bred,  they  will  show  no  irritation ; 
they  will  not  tell  you  that  they  called  to  chat  with 
you  about  matters  of  interest  to  men  and  women,  and 
not  to  jabber  baby-talk,  but  their  silence  will  prove 
that  "  my  'eetle  dolly,"  or  "  my  'eetle  doggy,"  are  not 
especially  interesting  subjects  to  them,  and  they  will 
soon  take  their  departure. 

Parents  prefer  this  talk  to  any  other.  They  are 
happy  in  the  sweet  voices.  They  are  deeply  interested 
in  every  trouble  or  joy,  no  matter  how  trifling.  These 
darlings  are  more  dear  to  them  than  all  other  treasures, 
but  yet  it  might  prove  difficult  to  find  any  one  who 
would  take  them  as  a  gift. 

Our  loving  Father  has  given  to  parents,  for  the 
wisest  of  reasons,  this  absorbing  love  for  their  children. 
But  recalling  how  little  interest  they  take  in  other 
people's  children,  they  must  not  expect  that  other 
people  are  likely  to  feel  much  in  theirs.  Children  are 
the  most  beautiful  and  interesting  creatures  on  earth  ; 


162  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

but  as  little  men  and  women  taking  part  in  general 
society,  they  are,  except  in  those  leisure  hours  when 
we  can  give  ourselves  up  to  their  prattle,  simply  nui- 
sances. 


CAUGHT  m  A  SCHOOL-TEAP. 

A  LITTLE  girl  of  twelve  writes  me  from  Batavia, 
N.  Y.,  that  she  can't  go  to  school  because  she  has 
so  much  headache.  Well,  my  poor  child,  I  fancy  you 
are  caught  in  what  I  call  the  "school-trap,"  which 
consists  of  a  room  of  moderate  size,  packed  full  of 
children,  without  provision  for  constant  change  of 
air.  I  don't  think  I  can  help  you  much.  Nearly  all 
school-girls  suffer  more  or  less  from  headache,  and 
nothing  can  be  done  to  relieve  them  until  the  school- 
rooms are  perfectly  ventilated.  Of  course  you  must 
avoid  grease,  doughnuts,  buckwheat-cakes,  candies, 
sweetmeats,  coffee,  and  tea. 

Now  that  we  know  how  to  ventilate  school-rooms, 
it  is  unpardonable  in  the  managers  that  our  young 
folks  while  at  school  should  be  poisoned  with  a  foul 
atmosphere. 

Mothers,  never  cease  your  exhortation  to  Jonathan 
and  Jerusha  Ann  to  stand,  sit,  and  walk  erect. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  163 


THE  AIR  WE  BREATHE. 

OuE  first,  constant,  and  imperative  need  is  pure  air. 
If  we  lack  this,  we  have  nothing.  Upon  this  vital 
point,  intelligent  people  are  sadly  and  wilfully  stupid. 
A  large  majority  of  the  cars,  theatres,  halls,  parlors, 
and  churches  are  dens  of  poisons.  It  must  be  a  strong 
attraction  which  can  draw  me  to  a  public  hall.  In 
lectures  before  lyceums,  I  quarrel  with  the  managers 
about  the  atmosphere  of  the  hall.  I  return  from  church 
sincerely  doubting  whether  I  have  not  committed  sin 
in  exposing  myself  in  a  poisonous  atmosphere.  The 
eminent  Baudeloque  declared  it  as  his  conviction,  that 
the  lack  of  proper  ventilation  in  our  dwellings  is  the 
principal  cause  of  scrofula.  He  believed,  if  there  be 
pure  air,  bad  food,  improper  clothing,  and  want  of 
cleanliness  will  not  produce  scrofula.  Sir  James  Clark 
expressed  the  opinion  that  the  bad  air  of  our  nurseries, 
sitting-rooms,  and  bedrooms  produces  an  immense 
amount  of  scrofulous  disease. 

As  a  medical  man,  I  have  visited  thousands  of  the 
sick,  but  have  never  found  one  hundred  of  them  in  a 
pure  atmosphere.  Among  the  well,  not  one  in  a  hun- 
dred sleeps  in  a  well-ventilated  room.  The  air  of  our 
close,  furnace-heated  houses  produces  fits  in  our  cats 
and  dogs,  and  would  kill  our  horses  or  cows  in  a  few 
months. 


164  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

God  has  provided  this  immense  atmospheric  ocean, 
a  hundred  miles  deep,  with  its  winds  and  very  hurri- 
canes, an  exhaustless  fountain  of  life  and  health ! 
What  a  shame  to  our  civnization  that  we  should  expend 
thousands  of  dollars  in  erecting  splendid  houses,  and  so 
contrive  them  as  to  compel  ourselves  to  breathe,  instead 
of  the  pure  air  of  heaven,  a  vile  mixture  with  the 
poisonous  excretions  of  our  own  bodies  and  the  poison- 
ous gases  emanating  from  our  gas-burners  and  fires. 


VENTILATION  OF  HALLS. 

At  a  lecture  recently  I  was  one  of  two  thousand 
auditors.  The  hall  was  handsome,  light,  brilliant; 
lecture  fine ;  in  brief,  everything  delightful  except  the 
ventilation,  —  tliat  was  execrable.  Next  morning  I 
could  eat  well,  walk  well,  and,  in  a  general  way,  could 
say  that  "  I  am  very  weU,  thank  you,"  but  my  nerves 
were  irritable  and  my  temper  unamiable.  I  found 
it  difficult  to  think.  No  human  being  can  spend  two 
hours  in  a  crowded,  unventilated  hall,  and  escape  next 
day  these  slight  effects  on  his  brain  and  nerves.  I 
know  of  but  one  theatre  where  a  man  can  prudently 
spend  an  evening.  I  do  not  know  a  single  hall 
where  even  the  best  lecture  will  not  cost  more  than 
it  comes  to.     I  dare  not  speak  of  the  jchurches,  be- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  165 

cause  we  might  hurt  the  feelings  of  many  good  people. 
We  will  simply  add  that  a  twelve-horse  engine  will  ven- 
tilate the  largest  room  on  this  continent.  Every  archi- 
tect knows  how  to  do  it.  As  most  of  these  large  places 
are  now  heated  by  steam,  the  additional  coal  required 
to  run  the  engine  would  cost,  say,  one  dollar.  We  had 
a  complimentary  ticket  to  a  lecture  the  next  evening 
by  Mr.  Froude ;  would  not  go :  could  n't  afford  it.  If 
we  could  have  heard  the  lecture  in  a  pure  atmosphere, 
we  would  cheerfully  have  given  ten  dollars  to  hear  it. 
Why  don't  the  managers  of  theatres,  halls,  and  churches 
ventilate  them  ?  Fifty  thousand  dollars  for  ornamen- 
tation and  not  a  penny  for  air !  No  means  have  ever  been 
discovered  of  ventilating  a  crowded  hall  without  the  use 
of  steam-power.  It  may  be  expensive,  but  it  is  cer- 
tainly the  duty  of  managers  of  theatres  and  proprietors 
of  public  haUs  to  introduce  it  as  soon  as  possible. 


ROYAL   ALBERT  HALL. 

The  finest  thing  I  saw  in  Europe  was  the  new  Albert 
Hall,  at  the  upper  end  of  Hyde  Park.  Add  to  the  hall 
itseK  the  art  crescent  and  the  splendid  gardens,  and  this 
exhibition  is  most  satisfactory. 

My  first  visit  to  Albert  Hall  was  on  the  occasion  of 
the  first  public  meeting  of  the  Society  of  Telegraphic 
Engineers.     It  was   a  grand   occasion.      Mr.    Pierce, 


166  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

known,  I  suppose,  to  all  the  telegraphic  fraternity,  gave 
an  exhaustive  history  of  the  telegraph,  in  which,  by  the 
way,  our  American  Morse  found  not  even  mention, 
except  in  the  list  of  a  dozen  inventors  of  recording  in- 
struments more  or  less  valuable ;  he,  it  seems,  having 
had  no  part  whatever  in  inventing  the  telegraph. 

"  To  whom,"  asked  Mr.  Pierce,  "  are  we  indebted  for 
this  matchless  invention  ?  "  And,  with  an  air  of  tri- 
umph, he  three  times  pronounced  the  names  of  two 
Englishmen.     I  have  forgotten  them. 

But  what  I  particularly  wanted  to  say  was,  that 
Albert  Hall  strikes  me  as  the  beginning  of  a  new  order 
of  public  halls.  So  far  as  I  know,  the  world  has  never 
seen,  before  the  building  of  Albert  Hall,  a  very  large, 
and  at  the  same  time  artistic,  convenient  room  for  con- 
certs, lectures,  and  other  great  gatherings,  —  one  adapted 
to  music,  in  which  Nilsson's  most  delicate  trills  are  dis- 
tinctly heard  by  ten  or  twelve  thousand  people,  and  in 
which  as  many  persons  can  hear  the  voice  of  a  good 
lecturer.  .  Such  is  Albert  Hall.  The  conception  was 
..  Prince  Albert's,  whose  untimely  death,  I  really  believe, 
was  a  greater  misfortune  to  the  English  nation  than  was 
the  death  of  Lincoln  to  America.  Very  tender  these 
Englishmen  are  in  reference  to  every  suggestion  known 
to  have  been  made  by  the  dead  Prince,  whose  remains 
are  now  sacredly  guarded  at  the  beautiful  mausoleum 
in  Windsor  Park.     He  it  was  who  thought  that  the 


FIVE-MINUTE  CH.ATS.  167 

great  city  needed  an  immense  hall,  where  the  "people 
could  assemble  to  listen  to  music  and  lectures.  After 
his  death  it  only  needed  to  be  mentioned,  and  from  all 
parts  of  the  kingdom  subscriptions  flowed  in.  Scores 
of  people  who  might  not  visit  the  metropolis  once  a 
year  subscribed  each  a  thousand  pounds. 

I  saw  nothing  in  Europe  which  so  deeply  interested 
me.  My  bump  of  reverence  for  what  is  merely  old  is 
not,  I  fear,  up  to  the  prescribed  level ;  for,  if  you  believe 
me,  this  Albert  Hall,  with  its  modern  freshness  and 
beauty,  with  its  comfortable  sittings  for  thousands  of 
%hQ  people,  impressed  me  more  than  Westminster  Abbey, 
with  all  its  sacred  chapels,  filled  with  the  awfully  sacred 
remains  of  a  lot  of  old  kings  and  queens,  whose  livesy 
for  the  most  part,  were  cheap  and  vulgar  and  mean  to 
the  last  degree. 

You  will  of  course  understand  that  in  order  to  bring 
ten  or  twelve  thousand  people  within  hearing  of  a  single 
voice,  they  must  be  piled  up  highly.  In  Albert  Hall. 
they  pile  them  up  five  stories  high,  but  with  perfect 
ventilation  and  competent  elevators.  I  greatly  prefer 
the  upper  stories,  both  for  seeing  and  hearing. 

Ah !  I  wish  the  great  American  cities  would  build 
such  halls.  Think  of  halls  so  large  that  the  very  highest 
class  of  concerts  and  operas  may  be  offered  to  the  pub- 
lic for  ten  cents,  and  other  good  things  in  proportion. 
That  will  be  a  great  and  beneficent  revolution  in  our 
public  amusements  and  instructions. 


168  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


OPEN  FIRES  vs.  STOVES  AND  FURNACES. 

Among  health  topics,  this  is  one  of  the  most  impor- 
tant    In  this  latitude  perhaps  no  other  is  so  vitaL 

In  fitting  up  a  house  for  my  family,  I  should  begin 
■with,  "An  open  fire  is  number  (me  among  house  bless- 
ings" If  it  were  at  all  practicable,  it  should  be  of 
wood,  in  one  of  those  great,  generous,  old-fashioned 
fireplaces  !  How  it  fills  the  family  group  with  a  com- 
fortable, social  spirit !  To  supply  the  draught  the  air  of 
the  room  is  momentarily  changed.  Tlie  carbonic  acid 
and  other  excretions  of  the  animal  body  cannot  axxurnvr 
late  ;  the  room  cannot  smell  close,  even  when  crowded. 

Strange  the  people  will  not  have  this  delightful  sun 
in  their  homes  at  any  cost  or  sacrifice.  And  pray, 
now,  why  not  have  it  aU  back  again  ?  If  a  small  part 
of  the  money  we  spend  in  various  foolish  fashions  were 
.given  to  the  reintroduction  of  this  good  old-fashioned 
blessing,  how  much  healthier  and  happier  we  all 
should  be ! 

Next  to  an  open  wood-fire,  the  open  coal-grate  is  the 
best  means  of  warming  and  ventilating.  And  if,  with 
a  good  draught,  the  coal  used  be  bituminous,  it  is  a 
very  excellent  fire. 

■  There  has  been  a  fearful  increase   of  consumption, 
bronchitis,  headache,  and  some  other  affections,  since 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  169 

the  general  introduction  of  stoves  and  furnaces.  If 
with  the  higher  degree  of  heat,  the  doors  and  windows 
are  kept  open  during  the  entire  season,  as  may  be  easily 
and  comfortably  done,  the  evil  would  not  be  so  great, 
but,  as  generally  managed,  it  is  the  gravest  mistake  in 
our  physical  life. 

If  in  the  window-shutter  of  a  dark  room  you  open  a 
small  aperture,  and  look  in  the  jet  of  light  as  it  streams 
through  the  room,  you  will  discover  that  the  air  is  full 
of  floating  motes.  The  air  of  our  houses  is  always 
crowded  with  these.  In  their  ordinary  condition  they 
are  not  mischievous,  but  after  they  have  been  exposed 
to  contact  with  a  heated  surface,  they  do  poison  us. 
Millions  of  these  carbonized  particles  come  from  the 
stove  or  furnace  to  poison  our  lungs  and  blood. 

If  you  would  have  good  throat,  lungs,  and  nerves,  sit 
by  an  open  fire,  and  keep  as  far  as  possible  from  stoves 
and  furnaces.  If  you  cannot  escape  those  evils,  wear 
more  clothing,  especially  upon  the  feet  and  legs,  and 
keep  the  doors  and  windows  open. 

Most  people,  even  many  intelligent  reformers,  have 
the  idea  that  to  sleep  in  a  cold  room  is  good,  —  essen- 
tial to  health.  It  is  an  error.  It  is  better  to  have  an 
open  fire  in  your  bedroom.  The  atmosphere  is  not 
only  by  this  means  constantly  changed,  but  you  will 
keep  the  window  open,  which  will  add  greatly  to  the 
needed  ventilation.     But  more  than  this,  with  the  fire 

8 


170  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

you  will  have  fewer  bedclothes  over  you,  which  is  a 
gain,  as  a  large  number  of  blankets  not  only  interferes 
somewhat  with  the  circulation  and  respiration,  but  pre- 
vents the  escape  of  those  gases  which  the  skin  is  con- 
stantly emitting.  Even  furnace  or  stove  heat  with  an 
open  window  is  better  than  a  close,  cold  room.  Inter- 
change with  the  external  atmosphere  depends  upon  the 
difference  between  the  temperature  of  the  air  within 
and  that  without. 

But  let  us  have  the  open  fire.  Let  us  go  without 
silks,  broadcloths,  carpets,  and  finery  of  all  kinds,  if 
necessary,  that  we  may  have  this  excellent  purifier  and 
diffuser  of  joy  in  all  our  houses.  In  my  own  house  I 
have  ten  open  grates,  and  find  the  expense  is  frightful, 
and  if  it  were  in  any  other  department  of  housekeep- 
ing, I  should  feel  I  could  not  afford  it ;  but  in  this  I 
do  not  flinch,  so  important  do  I  deem  the  open  fire. 


A  Question  settled.  —  Cut  flowers  and  growing 
plants  are  healthful  in  sleeping-rooms.  I  am  surprised 
that  a  question  on  this  point  should  ever  have  been 
raised.  Indeed,  a  window  full  of  plants  is  a  real,  posi- 
tive source  of  health,  as  well  as  of  pleasure. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  171 


A  CHAT  WITH  CLERGYMEN. 

Mk.  H.,  a  well-known  clergyman,  came  to  consult 
me  about  his  throat,  and  began  by  telling  this  story  :  — 

"  I  worked  on  a  farm  till  I  was  twenty-two,  when  I 
was  converted,  and  immediately  resolved  to  study  for 
the  ministry.  Up  to  that  time  I  had  never  been  sick, 
and,  like  my  father  and  brother,  possessed  remarkable 
endurance.  We  used  oxen,  and  indulged  that  un- 
earthly habit  of  yelling  at  them  all  day  long.  The 
neighbors  who  lived  full  two  miles  away  declared  that 
they  heard  me  from  morning  till  night.  I  remember 
that  one  old  man  in  the  neighborhood  said,  when  he 
heard  that  I  was  studying  for  the  ministry,  'Well, 
there  is  one  thing  about  that  chap ;  he  '11  make  'em 
hear  anywhere  in  the  country.  When  he  gets  into  the 
pulpit,  if  he  yells  as  loud  as  he  does  at  them  cattle, 
they  '11  hear  him  all  over  heaven  and  all  through 
t'other  place  too.' 

"  And  now,"  continued  Mr.  H.,  "  I  have  been  preach- 
ing seventeen  years ;  and  although  I  have  had  no 
attacks  of  sickness,  I  have  gradually  lost  my  health 
and  strength,  till  preaching  one  sermon  a  week  com- 
pletely exhausts  me.  I  don't  feel  like  speaking  loud 
before  Wednesday ;  and  besides  this,  I  have  lost  my 
legs,  until  I  can't  walk  two  miles  without  complete 


172  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

exhaustion.  My  church  has  given  me  a  year's  vaca- 
tion, and  now  I  come  to  ask  what  I  had  better  do." 

"  First,"  I  said, "  I  '11  tell  you  what  not  to  do.  Don't 
go  to  the  Holy  Land.  The  dirt  and  discomfort  which 
you  must  encounter  there  won't  help  you,  while  the  lack 
of  opportunity  to  use  your  faculties,  physical  and  mental, 
is  every  way  unfavorable.  This  climate  is  an  excellent 
one,  this  society  is  exceptionally  good ;  so  I  advise  you 
to  remain  here,  and,  after  visiting  a  week  or  two  with 
friends,  go  back  to  your  work  and  follow  this  regimen  :  — 

"  1.  Go  to  bed  at  nine  o'clock  every  night,  and  sleep 
half  an  hour  in  the  middle  of  the  day. 

"  2.  Eat  a  good  beefsteak  or  mutton-chop,  with  stale 
bread  and  butter  ad  libitum,  for  breakfast,  with  a  cup 
of  weak  coffee.  For  dinner,  at  two  o'clock,  take  a  large 
dish  of  oatmeal  or  cracked  wheat.     Eat  no  supper. 

"  3.  Bathe  your  skin  in  the  morning  with  cold 
water,  and  rub  it  hard  with  rough  towels.  On  going  to 
bed  at  night  rub  yourself  all  over  with  hair  gloves. 

"  4.  Work  five  hours  a  day  out-doors  in  some  reg- 
ular employment,  like  that  of  farming  or  that  of  a 
carpenter.     Keep  up  your  habit  of  morning  study. 

"  5.  Don't  be  extra  good,  —  I  mean  to  say,  don't  be 
solemn  and  reserved.  Be  jolly.  Have  a  good  time. 
Even  if  you  think  this  life  a  weary  pilgrimage,  act,  for 
the  sake  of  your  health,  as  though  the  world  were  a 
pleasant  home,  and  designed  for  happiness  rather  than 
misery." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  173 

Mr.  H.  engaged  with  one  of  his  parishioners,  a  car- 
penter, and  bargained  to  begin  at  nine  o'clock  every 
morning  and  work  till  two.  He  was  to  have  what  he 
could  earn,  which,  at  the  end  of  a  month,  was  thought 
to  be  a  dollar  a  day.  Within  three  months  he  could 
frame  timber  as  well  as  the  best  of  them. 

The  only  disagreeable  result  from  this  prescription  is 
this :  since  Mr.  H.  got  weU  (and  he  declares  that  he 
was  never  so  well  in  his  life)  he  has  taken  to  preaching 
this  sort  of  table  and  out-door  work  to  his  people,  and 
thus,  you  see,  deprives  me  of  the  opportunity  to  repeat 
this  prescription  to  others  at  five  dollars  a  head.  In 
this  way  my  famishing  family  is  deprived  of  that 
bread  which,  but  for  this  clerical  interference,  I  would 
supply  to  it  from  the  sweat  of  my  brow. 

American  clergymen  should  be  the  healthiest  men 
in  the  country.  Their  life  healthwise  may  easily  be 
made  the  ideal  one. 


If  you  thrust  your  hand  in  the  fire,  you  must  not 
blame  Providence  for  the  suffering.  And  if  you  drink 
strong  tea  and  coffee,  eat  every  indigestible  thing,  sleep 
on  feather-beds,  toast  yourselves  by  hot  stoves,  and 
neglect  to  keep  clean,  when  you  get  a  fever  and  are 
brought  down  to  death's  door,  do  not,  we  beg,  insult 
God  by  asking  why  he  should  thus  visit  you. 


174  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


A  CHAT  ABOUT  WORK  AND  STUDY. 

Many  of  the  most  notable  results  of  human  thought 
have  come  from  the  brains  of  men  whose  hands  were 
busy  with  work. 

It  is  a  source  of  general  congratulation  among  edu- 
cators that  in  the  Cornell  University  an  experiment  in 
combining  manual  labor  with  intellectual  training  is  in 
progress. 

The  greatest  success  is  not  attained  by  long  research 
within  college  walls,  but  from  continued  observation 
of  every-day  life. 

Benjamin  Franklin  was  obliged,  as  a  journeyman 
printer,  to  be  a  very  slow  and  careful  reader  of  books. 
In  this  way  he  thoroughly  digested  what  he  read ;  a 
slow  but  gradual  development  of  power  was  the  result. 
He  was  a  workingman  and  a  philosopher 

Eobert  Stephens  and  his  son  Henry  were  laborious 
printers  and  also  learned  men.  The  father  wrote  a 
thesaurus  of  the  Latin  language,  and,  De  Thou  says, 
"  did  more  to  immortalize  the  reign  of  Francis  I.  than 
all  the  monarch's  own  most  famous  exploits."  The 
son  wrote  a  thesaurus  of  the  Greek  language,  the  re- 
sult of  twelve  years'  hard  application  and  study,  which 
is  well  known  among  the  learned. 

Brindley,  the  famous  engineer,  worked  as  a  carter, 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  175 

ploughman,  and  millwright  tUl  the  age  of  manhood. 
His  observations  in  this  last  trade  aided  him  in  the 
construction  of  the  Bridgewater  Canal,  with  its  tun- 
nels, aqueduct,  and  locks. 

Berwick,  the  successful  engraver  on  wood,  and  au- 
thor of  the  "History  of  Quadrupeds,"  studied  from 
early  boyhood  the  habits  of  animals,  and  these  observa- 
tions caused  his  attempts  at  drawing,  in  which  he  after- 
wards became  proficient. 

Watt's  steam-engine,  if  not  the  unavoidable,  was  at 
least  a  natural,-  result  of  his  thoughts  and  pursuits. 

Ferguson,  while  he  watched  his  father's  sheep,  stud- 
ied astronomy,  and  early  in  life  had  his  thoughts  busy 
with  mathematical  problems. 

The  life  of  Eittenhouse  was  very  similar.  He  drew 
geometrical  diagrams  on  his  plough,  and  studied  them 
as  he  turned  the  furrows. 

Sir  Humphry  Davy  was  the  son  of  a  poor  wood- 
carver,  and  himself  an  apprentice  to  an  apothecary. 
We  can  hardly  suppose  that  with  his  excessive  vanity 
he  would  have  added  as  much  to  science  had  he  been  a 
gentleman's  son. 

Columbus,  while  leading  the  life  of  a  seaman,  be- 
came the  best  astronomer  and  geogTapher  of  his  age. 
It  was  under  the  same  circumstances  that  Cook  ac- 
quired his  scientific  and  literary  accomplishments. 

Homer  was  a  poor  man,  and  wandered  from  place  to 


176  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

place,  observing  the  customs  and  countries  he  after- 
ward described  in  his  two  poems,  especially  in  the 
"  Odyssey." 

The  success  of  the  "  Georgics,"  VirgU's  most  finished 
poem,  is  due  to  the  writer's  knowledge  of  rural  life. 

Milton  was  an  accomplished  man  of  the  world, 
knew  much  of  men  and  countries,  and  displayed  an 
especial  fondness  for  athletic  sports. 

It  is  difficult  to  believe  that  some  of  the  finest  speci- 
mens of  the  dramatic  poetry  of  Ben  Jonson  were  writ- 
ten during  the  leisure  that  comes  to  a  laboring  mason, 
and  in  the  intervals  of  inactivity  in  a  soldier's  lifa 

Bums  worked  for  years  as  a  farmer,  and  from  his 
intimate  communion  with  nature  came  the  inspiration 
of  many  of  his  sweetest  songs. 

Scott,  in  all  his  writings,  shows  the  careful  observer 
of  men  and  things,  and  by  his  fidelity  of  description 
has  given  an  added  charm  to  history. 

Dante  wrote  his  "  Inferno "  after  an  engagement  in 
civil  strife  in  which  he  was  defeated  and  proscribed. 

Descartes,  while  a  soldier,  laid  the  foundation  of  his 
mathematical  discoveries. 

Cervantes,  as  a  soldier,  was  detained  five  years  a 
captive  in  Algiers. 

Giffard's  early  life  was  one  of  privation  and  hard- 
ship. 

It  was  the  persevering  use  of  bodily  exercise  that 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  177 

overcame  the  natural  defects  in  Demosthenes's  voice, 
and  in  the  bodily  organization  of  Cicero.  Plato  led  a 
life  of  vicissitudes,  and  for  many  years  followed  the 
example  of  his  illustrious  master  Socrates.  Pythagoras 
in  early  life  became  proficient  in  gymnastic  exercises. 
When  eighteen,  he  received  the  prize  for  wrestling  in 
the  Olympic  games.  When  Greece  could  afford  him 
no  more,  he  travelled,  and  in  this  way  added  vast  and 
varied  information  to  his  already  well-stored  mind. 
He  advocated  and  carried  out  views  which  it  would  be 
weU  for  those  interested  in  introducing  this  feature  to 
imitate. 

Many  of  the  best  historians  describe  the  scenes 
in  which  they  themselves  were  busy  actors.  Among 
many,  these  names  may  be  mentioned :  Herodotus, 
Xenophon,  Polybius,  Julius  Caesar,  Sir  Walter  Ealeigh, 
Frederick  the  Great,  De  Thou,  and  Clarendon. 

It  is  a  matter  of  great  regret  that  the  most  reason- 
able and  natural  system  of  education  should  have  been 
so  long  neglected. 


To  MY  Puritan  Friends.  —  Ptead  novels  ?  Why, 
how  long  have  you  been  asleep  ?  Every  good  thing  is 
taught  in  this  way  nowadays.  Not  only  is  love,  but  all 
sorts  of  social,  moral,  and  religious  principles  and  du- 
ties are  taught  by  this  method.  All  the  great  religious 
teachers,  Jesus  included,  have  taken  advantage  of  this 

8* 


178  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

passion  for  stories  among  men.  We  will  not  say  that 
the  story  is  the  most  acceptable  form  of  instruction  for 
the  most  advanced  minds,  but  for  the  great  mass  of 
minds  it  is  altogether  the  most  agreeable  and  suc- 
cessful. 


THE  BODY  AMONG  THE  GREEKS. 

In  a  conversation  with  President  Felton,  the  bodily 
training  of  the  Greeks  came  up  for  consideration.  He 
remarked  that  among  that  people,  so  wise  in  aU  which 
concerns  the  physical  man,  there  were  two  widely  dif- 
ferent systems  of  training,  —  one  adapted  to  the  athlete, 
the  other  to  gentlemen  and  men  of  learning.  The  for- 
mer resulted  in  immense  development  of  muscle  and 
crude  strength,  while  the  latter  resulted  in  a  wonderful 
grace,  agility,  and  beauty.  The  former  produced  the 
great  wrestlers,  but  was  deemed  unfavorable  to  intel- 
lectual genius ;  while  the  latter  was  resorted  to  as  the 
surest  means  of  securing  that  delicate  susceptibility 
and  elastic  vigor  which  characterized  the  Greek  poet 
and  orator.  A  prodigious  abnormal  development  of 
muscle  —  the  result  of  long-continued,  special,  intense 
training  —  destroys  the  balance  between  mind  and  body, 
and  while  it  produces  a  splendid  animal,  leaves  the 
brain  with  less  than  its  share  of  power.  Plato  says, 
"  Excess  of  bodily  exercise  may  render  us  wild  and  un- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  179 

manageable,  but  excess  of  art,  science,  and  music  makes 
us  faddled  and  effeminate.  Only  the  right  combination 
makes  us  wise  and  manly. 


Nothing  so  expands  the  mind,  gives  clearness  to  the 
ideas,  elasticity  to  the  form,  and  health  to  the  system, 
as  early  rising  and  a  walk  before  breakfast.  If  your 
sluggard  be  not  a  dolt  already,  he  is  in  a  fair  way  to 
become  one.  Women  would  gain  rosy  cheeks  by  get- 
ting up  before  or  about  daybreak,  and  men  secure 
health  of  body  and  mind.  There  are  many  of  both 
sexes,  however,  who  never  see  the  sun  rise  unless  it  be 
when  returning  from  a  ball. 


Have  you  no  enemies  ?  If  not,  we  are  sorry  for 
you.  There  is  no  stimulus  toward  a  high  and  noble 
career  like  the  criticisms  and  hatred  of  enemies. 


IMPORTANT  TO  CLERGYMEN. 

From  the  many  movements  which  are  made  by  the 
larynx  in  speaking,  we  infer  that  it  is  a  matter  of  great 
importance  that  the  neck  in  health  should  be  always 
loosely  dressed.  Tight  cravats  are  sure  to  obstruct  the 
proper  function  of  this  organ,  and  bring  on  irritation 
which  may  end  in  bronchitis  or  consumption. 


180  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


IBISH  LADIES. 

Happening  to  be  in  Queenstown,  Ireland,  one  even- 
ing in  July  last,  I  was  invited  to  attend  a  grand  ball. 
I  had  been  doing  some  of  the  interior  districts  of  Ire- 
land, and  was  so  tired  that  at  first  I  was  rather  inclined 
to  excuse  myself.  But  before  deciding,  I  asked  a  ques- 
tion or  two. 

"Is  it  a  big  thing?" 

"  Never  anything  so  grand  in  town ! " 

"  What  class  of  women  ? " 

"  The  first  class ;  the  very  best  from  Queenstown, 
Cork,  —  in  fact,  the  most  beautiful  women  in  the 
world." 

I  knew  how  the  common  women  of  Ireland  looked. 
I  had  seen  hundreds  of  them  about  Killamey  seUiag 
"  mountain  dew  and  goat's  milk,"  and,  in  fact,  for  some 
time  had  seen  nothing  else.  But  I  had  seen  the  com- 
mon class  only,  —  the  servants,  pedlers,  and  peasants. 
I  had  not  seen  the  aristocracy,  I  made  up  my  mind  to 
go.  I  thanked  the  gentleman,  and  began  at  once  on 
my  hair. 

The  number  of  ladies  was  about  one  hundred  and 
fifty.  Their  dress  was  like  that  of  American  ladies  on 
similar  occasions,  only  a  trifle  more  so,  —  sleeves  a  little 
shorter,  corsage  a  little  lower.     The  ladies  were  remark- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  181 

ably  self-possessed,  quiet,  and  graceful,  and  I  think  on 
the  whole  averaged  prettier  than  I  have  ever  seen  for 
the  number  on  such  an  occasion.  Some  of  our  navaLoffi- 
cers  were  present  in  their  stunning  uniforms,  and  were 
honored  with  marked  attention  and  the  sweetest  smUes. 

I  have  written  all  this  in  order  to  say  something 
about  the  physical  development  of  those  Irish  ladies. 
The  Irish  girls  we  have  seen  in  America  have  full 
chests,  large,  fine  arms,  and  are  altogether  plump  and 
vital.  When  an  American  lady  has  shown  me  her 
arms,  —  candle-dips,  No.  8,  —  and  has  asked, "  How  can 
I  get  such  arms  as  Bridget's  ? "  and  I  have  said,  "  Work, 
—  worh  as  she  does,  and  you  will  have  her  arms,"  the 
lady  has  generally  said,  "  0,  that  is  not  work ;  that 
comes  from  climate !  I  tell  you,  if  I  had  been  brought 
up  in  Bridget's  climate,  I  should  have  had  her  fine  bust ; 
but  this  terrible,  dry  American  air  takes  aU  the  juices 
out  of  us." 

My  curiosity  was  on  tiptoe  to  see  how  Irish  ladies, 
brought  up  in  this  moist,  even  climate,  but  without 
work,  would  look.  I  have  said  there  were  one  hun- 
dred and  fifty  ladies  present.  They  were  certainly 
very  pretty  and  very  prettily  dressed,  but  now,  taking 
the  witness-stand,  I  testify  that  I  have  never  in  Amer- 
ica seen  one  hundred  and  fifty  young  women  together 
with  arms  so  small  and  chests  so  flat  and  thin.  They 
belonged  to  the  idle  class,  and  all  the  world  over  women 


182  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

of  the  idle  class  have  spindle  arms  and  thin  chests, 
unless  they  become  merely  fat,  which,  with  their  weak 
mugcles,  is  a  sad  embarrassment. 

Elegance,  education,  rank,  aspiration,  prayer,  —  these 
\vill  not  produce  a  strong,  full,  muscular  body.  They 
are  not  the  appointed  means.  Exercise,  exercise  !  work, 
work  !  ^-  this  produces  strong  muscles,  fuU  chests,  and 
physical  beauty.     Work  is  the  appointed  means. 


WILL  SHE  MAKE  A  GOOD  WIFE? 

Some  women  are  indignant  at  this  question,  as  if  that 
were  all  women  were  made  for.  "  Will  he  make  a  good 
husband  ? "  That  question  is  comparatively  rare.  "  Will 
she  make  a  good  wife  ? "  is  fuU  of  man's  egotism  and 
selfishness.  We  don't  wonder  that  the  question  fills  a 
woman  of  high  spirit  with  shame  and  anger.  Miss  B. 
declares,  "  I  never  would  maiTy  a  man  who  could  ask 
such  a  question.     Never ! " 

But,  really,  do  not  most  women  suggest  the  inquiry  ? 
Their  dress,  their  manners,  their  conversation,  their 
absence  of  occupation,  their  indefinite  waiting,  waiting, 
waiting  for  something,  —  does  not  all  this  constantly 
suggest  matrimony  ?  And  how  can  you  blame  men  for 
interpreting  what  is  so  obvious,  and  asking,  not,  WiU 
she  make  a  good  physician  or  teacher  or  mechanic  or 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  183 

accountant  or  watch-cleaner  or  gardener  or  merchant  or 
grocer  ?  but.  Will  she  inake  a  good  wife  ?  If  women 
were  all  training  for  a  single  trade  or  profession,  it 
would  be  natural  to  question  the  probability  of  their 
success  in  that  trade  or  profession,  would  it  not  ?  And 
as  women  generally  do  train  for  a  single  occupation,  — 
that  of  matrimony,  —  why  should  it  be  thought  coarse, 
selfish,  and  egotistic  in  a  man  to  think  of  her  probable 
success  in  her  own  chosen  occupation  ? 

When  women  shall  break  through  these  chains  which 
bind  them,  and  find  a  broad  liberty  in  a  thousand  em- 
ployments, they  will,  like  men,  wait  for  the  promptings 
of  their  hearts  in  choosing  a  partner  for  life,  and  not 
follow  matrimony  as  a  trade. 


"Women  sleep  by  far  too  little.  Sleeplessness  is  one 
of  the  most  fruitful  causes  of  the  paleness  and  nervous- 
ness so  characteristic  of  American  mothers.  You  will 
excuse  us,  sir,  but  permit  us  to  ask  whether  your  wife 
is  not  still  busy  with  the  care  of  your  family  for  six 
hours  after  your  day's  work  is  done  ?  And  then,  when 
your  children  cry  at  night,  don't  you  tarn  over  your 
lazy  two  hundred  pounds  for  another  good  sleep,  and 
let  that  little,  thin,  pale  wife  get  up  and  worry  by  the 
hour  with  the  little  ones  ?  And  now,  forsooth,  you 
wish  to  know  whether  it  is  not  bad  for  her  to  lie  till 
eight  o'clock  in  the  morninn; ! 


184  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


OPEN  THE  CAGE  DOOR. 

Dr.  B.  resided  in  this  country.  At  the  time  I 
became  acquainted  with  the  family  the  doctor  was 
about  seventy  years  old,  and  beginning  to  break.  His 
family  consisted  of  two  sons  and  seven  daughters.  I 
don't  think  the  sons  were  anything  wonderful, — 
indeed,  I  should  say  that  both  of  them  were  rather  be- 
low par, — but  four  of  the  girls  were  remarkably  bright. 
Owing  to  certain  physiological  peculiarities  in.  the 
mother,  the  daughters  were  endowed  with  special  and 
striking  talents.  One  of  them  had  a  perfect  passion  for 
the  profession  of  medicine,  another  was  "  crazy  about 
machinery,"  and  still  another  had  a  decided  taste  for 
farming.  Each  of  them  would  give  the  world  if  she 
only  dared,  but  what  would  folks  say  ?  The  daughters 
ranged  from  twenty-six  to  forty-two,  and  not  one  mar- 
ried. A  little  flutter  of  expectation  had  been  excited 
in  the  heart  of  the  poor,  overworked  father  two  or 
three  times,  but  up  to  the  time  of  which  I  speak  the 
whole  seven  girls  were  still  on  the  father's  hands. 
One  of  the  sons  told  me  that  not  one  of  the  girls  had 
had  a  nibble  in  three  years,  and  that  they  were  pretty 
much  discouraged.  The  hostler  informed  me,  in  a 
confidential  whisper,  that  "  Miss  Alice  had  more  sense 
than  the  doctor  and  the  two  boys  all  put  together,  and 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  185 

tliat  Miss  Carrie  and  Miss  Viney  were  smarter  'n  light- 
ning ;  but,"  added  John,  with  a  significant  wink,  "  I 
reckon  the  old  man  would  be  mighty  glad  to  git  shet 
of  a  few  on  'em ;  for,"  added  the  good-natured  hostler, 
"it  takes  a  heap  o'  money  to  clothe  and  feed  a  lot 
like  that,  even  though  they  be  girls ;  and  then,  you 
know,  these  girls  with  high  notions  spend  lots." 

After  I  had  visited  at  the  doctor's  two  or  three 
times,  and  had  heard  the  ladies  talk  about  the  great 
busy  outside  world  in  that  vacant  sort  of  way  which  I 
have  observed  among  convicts  in  prison,  the  whole 
thing  became  so  painful  to  me  that  I  discontinued  my 
calls.  What  is  there,  I  used  to  ask  myself,  about  the 
prejudices  of  society  against  women  in  Constantinople 
or  Salt  Lake  City  or  in  any  other  part  of  the  world, 
which  is  more  cruel  than  this  prejudice  among  us  that 
says  to  an  unmarried  woman  of  the  better  class.  If  you 
do  anything  except  stay  at  home  and  wait  for  a  man, 
you  shall  be  ostracized  ?  We  educate  our  women. 
We  give  them  large  and  noble  views  of  life.  But  when 
they  graduate  from  the  college,  we  say  to  them,  with 
uplifted  hand  of  warning,  "  Beware,  beware  !  If  you 
stir  out  of  your  mother's  drawing-room,  except  in 
corsets,  long  skirts,  frills,  and  feathers,  all  ready  to 
charm  the  beaux,  or  if  you  engage  in  any  occupation 
except  that  of  fascination,  you  shall  be  marked  off  the 
genteel,  fashionable  list." 


186  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


THE  WEAKNESS  OF  OUR  GIRLS. 

We  have  in  this  city  an  army  of  dependent,  unmar- 
ried women,  who,  if  brought  up  individually,  would, 
in  reply  to  certain  questions,  answer  as  follows :  — 

"  What  can  you  do  ?  " 

"  O,  most  anything  you  please ! " 

"  But  tell  me  particularly." 

"  Why,  I  can  do  all  sorts  of  work." 

"  Well,  there 's  dentistry,  teaching,  type-setting, 
watch-cleaning,  engraving,  and  —  " 

"  0, 1  don't  mean  such  things,  but  I  can  do  any  com- 
mon work ! " 

"  Can  you  cook  ?  " 

"  Well,  not  much  ;  and  then,  I  don't  like  cooking." 

"  Can  you  do  fine  needlework  ? " 

"  No,  but  then  I  can  do  plain  sewing." 

"  Can  you  make  men's  shirts  ? " 

"  O  no,  I  can't  do  that ;  but  then  I  can  sew  on  pil- 
low-cases and  sheets,  if  you  will  show  me  just  what 
you  want  me  to  do." 

"  Can  you  do  chamber-work  ? " 

"A  little,  but  then  I  don't  like  going  out  to  ser- 
vice." 

"  I  don't  see,  then,  that  you  can  do  anything  but  a 
little  plain  sewing,  and  for  that  you  want  a  superin- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  187 

tendent.  There  are  at  least  five  hundred  occupations 
in  this  city  which  women  could  follow  and  earn  an 
independent  living  thereby.  You  come  seeking  em- 
ployment, and  finally  inform  me  that  with  superintend- 
ence you  can  do  a  little  plain  sewing,  a  thing  which 
a  young  man  can  learn  in  three  days." 


OCCUPATIONS  FOR  WOMEN. 

The  Woman's  Club  in  Boston  undertook  to  count 
the  women  in  that  city  who  were  living  or  starving  by 
needlework.  I  believe  they  found  about  eighteen  thou- 
sand. 

In  my  work,  "  Our  Girls,"  published  some  time  ago, 
I  brought  forward  more  than  a  hundred  occupations 
to  which  women  are  perfectly  adapted,  but  to  which 
they  have  not  been  as  yet  introduced.  I  take  the 
liberty  to  quote  a  word  from  that  work  about  watch- 
cleaning  :  — 

"  Let  us  speak  first  of  watch-cleaning.  What  are  the 
qualifications  of  a  good  watch-cleaner  ?  Nimble,  sensi- 
tive fingers,  neatness,  and  carefulness. 

"  Now,  put  your  finger  there,  and  let  me  show  you 
a  watch-cleaner.  He  works  in  a  window  only  two 
squares  from  my  residence.  He  weighs  about  two  hun- 
dred andjtwenty  pounds,  and  has  a  fist  big  enough  to 


188  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

knock  down  an  ox.  The  whole  thing  looked  so  comical 
to  me,  I  thought  one  day  I  would  go  in  and  plague  him 
a  little.  So,  after  a  little  chat  about  watches  in  general, 
I  said,  — 

" '  By  the  way,  it  has  occurred  to  me  that  women  might 
work  at  watch-cleaning.' 

" '  Women ! '  said  he ;  '  why,  they  could  n't  clean 
watches.  They  have  n't  the  skill,  they  have  n't  the  me- 
chanical genius  for  it,  sir.  I  don't  go  in  for  none  of  your 
"woman's  rights,"  sir.  I  think  women  should  attend 
to  their  own  business.' 

" '  And,  pray,  what  do  you  regard  as  their  business  ? ' 

"'Why,  staying  at  home  in  their  own  sphere  and 
attending  to  their  domestic  concerns,  —  taking  care  of 
their  children  and  keeping  their  husbands'  clothes 
mended.' 

"  I  saw  at  once  that  the  case  was  altogether  too  deep 
for  me,  so  I  simply  remarked,  '  Yes,  to  be  sure,  of  course ; 
and  is  it  not  strange  that  they  should  not  be  willing  to 
stay  at  home  and  rock  their  babies,  especially  the 
seventy  thousand  in  the  State  of  Massachusetts  who 
can  never  expect  to  have  husbands  ? ' 

"  Cleaning  watches  is  a  business  that  should  at  once 
pass  into  the  hands  of  women.  The  opinion  that  they 
have  not  the  requisite  mechanical  capacity  to  take  a 
watch  to  pieces  and  put  it  together  again  is  the  opinion 
of  a  goose.     They  can  do  the  work  quicker  and  better 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  189 

than  men.  It  is  an  employment  that  naturally  belongs 
to  them. 

"In  the  watchmaking  establishment  at  Waltham 
several  hundred  bright,  intelligent  young  women  find 
employment  and  good  pay. 

"  There  is  a  manufactory  in  England  where  five  hun- 
dred women  are  employed  in  making  the  interior  chains 
for  chronometers.  They  are  preferred  to  men  on  account 
of  their  being  naturally  more  dexterous  with  their  fingers, 
and  therefore  being  found  to  require  less  training. 


NO  TIME. 


I  HAVE  often  heard  girls  say  that,  if  they  had  time, 
they  would  read  certain  books  or  study  certain  sci- 
ences that  had  been  recommended  to  them.  Now, 
when  I  see  such  girls  day  after  day  absorbed  in  stick- 
ing holes  through  a  ptece  of  cloth,  and  sewing  them 
up  again  with  linen  floss,  or  spending  precious  moments 
in  hurtful  gossip  with  companions  as  idle  as  them- 
selves, I  long  to  say  to  them  :  —  . 

'*  The  hours  that  you  waste  in  this  worse  than  useless 
manner  could  be  employed  to  such  advantage  as  to 
make  you  noble,  talented,  intelligent  women,  instead  of 
the  silly,  empty-headed  creatures  that  your  present 
way  of  passing  your  time  wiU.  surely  develop." 


190  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


SADDLE  EXERCISE. 

That  consumptive  or  dyspeptic  who  does  not  im- 
prove when  spending  two  or  three  hours  a  day  in  the 
saddle  must  be  a  bad  case.  This  remark  is  applicable 
to  men  only.  A  woman  twisted  round,  that  both  legs 
may  come  on  one  side,  with  her  stove-pipe  hat  and 
veil  and  chignon  and  corset  and  a  long  skirt,  is  quite 
another  affair.  She  may  pretend  that  she  enjoys  this 
excruciating  performance ;  but  if  so,  it  is  for  the  same 
reason  that  young  ladies  enjoy  the  first  sea- voyage, 
because  it  is  fashionable. 

Worshipful  Jenkinses  have  contributed  not  a  little 
to  the  passion  for  the  saddle  among  ambitious  young 
ladies.     One  of  them  delivers  himself  thus :  — 

"  She  sits  with  an  air  of  dignity,  which  the  occa- 
sional inclination  forward,  and  the  easy  curve  of  her 
bridle  arm  contrasting  with  the  pendent  portion  of  the 
whip  one,  prevents  from  appearing  stiff  or  constrained. 
And  then  her  hat  and  feathers,  her  worked  collar,  and 
braided  coat  studded  with  small  buttons,  give  an  air  of 
out-door  adventure  made  wonderfully  interesting  by 
her  sparkling  eye  and  the  rich  carnation  of  her  cheeks, 
while  her  falling  ringlets  shade  the  deep  suffusion  of 
her  temples.  Let  us  suppose  a  fair  companion  thus 
mounted  and  equipped,  adding  to  the  charm  of  her 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  191. 

appearance  the  additional  fascination  of  a  ready  smile 
and  a  playful  remark,  and  who  shall  resist  her  power  ?  " 

Many  a  young  lady  who  had  indulged  in  this  carnation 
and  suffusion  slush  has  come  to  ask  me  about  the  wisdom 
of  riding  on  horseback.  For  ten  years  and  more  I  have 
had  one  viniform  answer  for  all  such  applicants :  — 

"  If  you  wish  to  ride  where  people  are  likely  to  see 
you,  and  must  wear  the  close-fitting  waist  and  corset, 
high  stiff  hat,  and  other  fashionable  paraphernalia,  I 
earnestly  advise  you  against  the  saddle." 

I  have  never  known  this  exercise,  taken  in  such  a 
manner,  to  improve  a  young  lady's  health,  but  I  have 
traced  several  cases  of  lateral  curvature  of  the  spine  to  it. 

While  the  saddle  is  the  best  exercise  in  the  world 
for  a  man,  especially  one  in  consumption  or  severe 
dyspepsia,  I  have  no  hesitation  in  saying  that  until 
women  can  ride  astride,  with  free,  healthful  dress,  they 
should  let  it  alone. 


WOMEN'S  SHOES. 

Women  are  not  more  hardy  than  men.  They  walk 
on  the  same  damp,  cold  earth.  Their  shoes  must  be  as 
thick  and  warm.  Calf  or  kip  skin  is  best  for  the  cold 
seasons.  The  sole  should  be  half  an  inch  thick ;  in 
addition  there  should  be  a  quarter  of  an  inch  of  rubber. 
The  rubber  sole  I  have  used  for  years ;  would  not  part 


192  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

with  it  for  a  thousand  dollars.  It  keeps  out  the  damp, 
prevents  slipping,  and  wears  five  times  as  long  as 
leather  of  the  same  cost.  For  women's  boots  it  is  in- 
valuable. But  rubber  shoes  should  be  discarded.  They 
retain  the  perspiration,  make  the  feet  tender,  and  give 
susceptibility  to  cold. 

Stand  on  one  foot,  and  mark  around  the  outspread 
toes.  Have  your  soles  exactly  the  same  width.  Your 
corns  will  leave  you.  The  narrow  sole  is  the  cause  of 
most  of  our  corns.  A  careful  study  of  the  anatomy  of 
the  foot,  and  the  influence  of  a  narrow  sole,  will  satisfy 
every  inquirer.     The  heel  should  be  broad  and  long. 

Wear  thick  woollen  stockings.  Change  them  every 
day. 

Before  retiring,  dip  the  feet  in  cold  water.  Eub  them 
hard.  Hold  the  bottoms  at  the  fire  till  they  bum. 
Bathe  them  when  taking  the  general  bath  in  the  morn- 
ing. Do  they  perspire  or  emit  an  unpleasant  odor? 
Wash  with  soap  twice  a  day.  In  a  month  the  difficulty 
is  removed. 


TO  A  COLD-FOOTED  LADY. 

Madam,  allow  me  to  prescribe  for  you.  I  have  had 
a  long  experience  in  the  management  of  delicate  women, 
and  believe  I  can  give  you  some  important  advice.  For 
the  present  I  prescribe  only  for  your  feet 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  193 

1st.  Procure  a  quantity  of  woollen  stockings,  —  not 
such  as  you  buy  at  the  stores  under  the  name  of  lambs' 
wool,  that  you  can  read  a  newspaper  through,  but  the 
kind  that  your  Aunt  Jerusha  in  the  country  knits  for 
you,  thick  as  a  board,  that  will  keep  your  feet  dry  and 
warm  in  spite  of  wind  and  weather. 

2d.  If  you  want  to  be  really  thorough,  change  them 
every  morning,  hanging  the  fresh  ones  by  the  fire  during 
the  night. 

3d.  Procure  thick  calf-skin  boots,  double  uppers  and 
triple  soles,  and  wear  them  from  the  first  of  October 
tiU  the  first  of  May.  Make  frequent  applications  of 
some  good  oil  blacking. 

4th.  Avoid  rubbers  altogether,  except  a  pair  of  large 
rubber  boots,  which  may  be  worn  for  a  little  time 
through  snow-drifts  or  a  flood  of  water. 

5th.  Hold  the  bottoms  of  your  feet  in  cold  water 
half  an  inch  deep,  just  before  going  to  bed,  two  or  three 
minutes,  and  then  rub  them  hard  with  rough  towels 
and  your  naked  hands. 

6th.  Now,  madam,  go  out  freely  in  all  weathers,  and, 
believe  me,  not  only  wiU  your  feet  enjoy  a  good  circu- 
lation, but  as  a  consequence  of  the  good  circulation  in 
the  lower  extremities,  your  head  will  be  relieved  of  all 
its  fulness  and  your  heart  of  its  palpitations.  Your 
complexion  will  be  greatly  improved  and  your  health 
made  better  in  every  respect. 

9 


194  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


PATENT  SHOES. 


A  PATENT  for  a  new  shoe  has  been  issued.  An  agent 
of  the  invention  called  to  explain  it  and  get  a  letter 
of  approval.  First,  an  extensive  circular  was  shown. 
This  I  found  was  intended  to  give  the  philosophy  of 
the  invention.  The  agent  followed  with  an  hour  of 
earnest  exhortation.  In  the  first  place,  there  was  the 
fashionable  shoe,  with  its  narrow  sole,  pointed  toe, 
high,  contracted  heel,  etc.  These  deformed  the  toes, 
produced  corns,  weakened  the  ankles,  and  spoiled  the 
legs.  To  all  this  I  fully  assented.  Then  came  the 
explanation  of  the  new  invention.  This  was  very 
long,  and  had  reference  to  the  osseous  structure  of  the 
heel,  and  the  arch  of  the  foot  and  the  toes,  and  the 
ligaments,  longitudinal,  oblique,  transverse,  and  other- 
wise ;  of  the  action  of  this  part  upon  that  part,  and 
that  part  upon  this  part,  and  the  need  of  support  at 
this  point,  while  that  portion  was  acting  thus  and  so 
upon  this  portion.  I  heard  it  all  with  a  sincere  de- 
sire to  learn  something. 

The  longer  I  live,  the  more  I  learn  to  respect  the 
msdom  of  the  Creator.  The  human  foot  is  perfect  in 
its  service  until  we  begin  to  support  and  fix  it.  All 
that  is  wanted  is  liberty.  The  matter  of  ornamenta- 
tion is  another  question ;  but  as  to  a  "  scientific  shoe," 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  195 

your  feet  simply  need  room,  and  they  will  take  care 
of  themselves.  You  might  as  well  talk  of  a  scientific 
pitcher  to  hold  a  quart  of  soft-soap.  All  that  is 
needed  is  that  the  pitcher  should  be  big  enough  to 
hold  it.  The  foot  asks  for  room.  Having  that,  it  will 
take  care  of  all  the  scientific  questions  without  your 
assistance. 


ABOUT  CORNS. 

Within  three  blocks  of  my  Boston  residence  there 
are  eleven  corn-doctors.  Some  of  them  employ  a 
number  of  operators,  and  do  an  immense  business. 
A  large  majority  of  adults,  among  the  better  classes, 
suffer  from  corns,  or  other  maladies  of  the  feet.  Walk- 
ing, the  best  of  all  exercises,  would  be  indefinitely 
increased  if  our  feet  were  healthy. 

Prompted  by  sufferings  in  my  own  person,  and  by 
sympathy  with  the  sore-footed  cripples  about  me,  I 
have  studied  this  subject  of  the  feet  with  much  care 
and  interest. 

Let  me  give  you  the  result  of  my  observation  and 
thought :  The  sole  is  too  narroiv !  It  has  long  been 
suspected  that  a  narrow  soul  was  the  great  trouble  in 
this  world.  The  particular  suffering  under  considera- 
tion, I  am  sure,  all,  or  nearly  all,  comes  from  a  too 
narrow  sole. 


196  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

My  friend  Mrs.  C,  on  reading  the  chapter  in  "  Our 
Girls "  devoted  to  "  Boots  and  Shoes,"  came  to  say, 
that  although  she  was  a  great  sufferer  from  corns,  and 
a  general  sore  and  crippled  condition  of  feet,  her  shoes 
were,  nevertheless,  enormous,  twice  as  large  as  her 
feet.  She  wished  I  would  see  if  it  was  not  so.  I 
examined  the  shoes  and  agreed  with  her  that  they  were 
too  large.  As  she  stepped,  her  foot  rocked  over  first 
on  this  side  and  then  on  that.  Now  it  pressed  over 
on  the  outside,  rubbing  down  over  the  edge  of  the  sole, 
and  touching  the  ground,  and  perhaps,  if  the  ground 
was  at  all  uneven,  on  the  very  next  step  her  boot 
would  rock  over  on  the  other  side  of  the  sole.  Such 
friction  between  the  little  toe  and  the  big  toe  joints 
against  the  upper  leather  must  inevitably  produce 
corns.     I  think  the  majority  of  shoes  are  too  large. 

Mrs.  C.  wished  me  to  accompany  her  to  the  shoe- 
maker's and  see  what  I  could  do  for  her  relief,  for 
really  life  was  becoming  a  torture.  We  went  to  her 
own  shoemaker.  Curiously  enough,  his  name  is  Shoe- 
maker. Mrs.  C.  hobbled  to  a  seat,  and  declared,  "I 
won't  try  to  walk  again,  there ! " 

Her  shoe  was  removed,  and  Mr.  Shoemaker  marked 
around  her  foot,  while  she  was  standing  upon  it.  We 
measured  the  mark  and  found  that  it  was  exactly 
four  inches.  That  was  the  width  of  her  foot,  when 
she  stepped  on  it,  without  a  shoe.     Then  we  measured 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  197 

the  sole  of  the  shoe  she  had  been  wearing,  and  found 
it  two  and  a  half  inches.  Here  was  the  secret  of  the 
whole  trouble. 

A  pair  of  shoes  were  made  for  her  at  once,  with  soles 
four  inches  broad.  Now  she  can  walk  for  hours  without 
a  pain  in  her  feet. 

There  are  millions  of  poor  sufferers  in  the  country, 
who  are  limping  and  hobbling  through  the  world,  who 
might  be  perfectly  relieved  and  cured  by  the  same 
means. 


A  WOMAN'S  OBJECTION  TO  THE  BEST  EXERCISE. 

Then  you  think  that  walking  fast  is  undignified,  do 
you  ?  Well,  I  don't  know  but  there  is  a  certain  sacri- 
fice of  the  highest  dignity  in  quick,  nervous  walking. 
I  remember  to  have  read  in  a  criticism  upon  American 
actors  that  Hackett,  of  Falstafif  memory,  was  the  only 
man  in  America  who  knew  how  to  walk  ;  that  he  was 
the  only  one  who  was  never  in  a  hurry.  Now,  don't 
you  be  caught  by  any  such  stuff.  When  you  go  out  to 
walk  for  exercise,  or  in  pursuit  of  any  business,  put  on 
the  steam,  ninety  pounds  to  tlie  inch  if  you  carry  a 
good  boiler.  If  you  carry  yourself  erect  and  swing 
your  arms  freely,  it  is,  on  the  whole,  the  best,  the  most 
healthful  exercise  in  the  world. 


198  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


CHANGE  OF  AIB. 

I  PRETENDED  to  be  very  busy  with  my  writing,  but 
in  fact  was  all  ears  for  an  earnest  talk  among  my  lady 
callers,  all  about  change  of  air. 

Mrs.  F.  exclaimed :  "  I  ought  to  know  by  this  time. 
I  tell  you  it's  bad  to  go  too  high  up.  Better  stay 
down  at  the  foot  of  the  mountain.  Even  if  you  go  up 
but  a  little  way,  the  air  will  not  agree  with  you  half  so 
well." 

Mrs.  C.  "  I  am  sorry  to  differ  with  you,  Mrs.  F.,  but 
I  really  can't  breathe  the  air  down  at  the  foot  of  the 
mountain.  If  you  go  up  as  far  as  that  grove  where  the 
Captain  gathered  those  beautiful  ferns  for  us,  —  there 
the  air  is  perfectly  delicious." 

Mrs.  W.  "Well,  ladies,  I  don't  see  how  you  can 
breathe  the  air  on  that  side  of  the  mountain  at  aU. 
To  me,  it 's  dreadful.  But  on  the  east  side  the  air  is  a 
perfect  tonic.  Next  season  I  advise  you  to  try  the  east 
side." 

Mrs.  C.  "  0  Mrs.  W.,  I  am  astonished  to  hear  you  say 
so !  I  tried  the  east  side  once,  and  the  air  nearly  killed 
me.  I  really  believe  I  should  have  been  in  my  grave 
if  I  had  stayed  there  any  longer.  But  on  the  west  side, 
up  there  near  the  grove,  the  air  is  delightful ;  it  really 
affects  one  like  champagne." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  199 

After  hearing  this  question  of  atmospheric  influences 
discussed  in  this  scientific  way  for  half  an  hour,  our 
brave  little  Miss  B.  entered,  and  the  ladies  appealed  to 
her. 

"Come,  Miss  B.,  you  have  been  everywhere;  now 
where  do  you  say  the  air  is  best." 

Miss  B.  "  Wherever  I  have  had  the  most  to  do,  there 
the  air  is  best ;  though,  to  be  perfectly  frank  about  it, 
I  have  never  noticed  about  the  air.  I  don't  think  I 
was  ever  particularly  conscious  about  breathing  or  the 
air  until  I  heard  all  this  talk  about '  change  of  air.'  The 
atmosphere  you  fashionable  ladies  breathe  at  the  opera, 
at  your  parties,  in  your  furnace-heated  houses,  and  in 
your  air-tight  bedrooms,  I  confess  is  too  much  for  me ; 
but  when  I  am  dressed  so  that  I  can  breathe,  and  am 
busy,  mind  and  body,  in  the  open  air,  or  at  home  with 
open  windows,  I  find  the  air  all  right  in  Boston,  in  San 
Francisco,  in  the  valley,  up  on  the  mountain." 

I  sprang  to  my  feet,  clapped  my  hands,  and  cried 
out:  — 

"  Bravo !  bravo  !  bravo !  my  little  woman !  I  never 
heard  so  much  sense  in  so  few  words,  about  the  hygiene 
of  the  atmosphere,  in  my  life.  And  I  will  put  you 
into  print  just  as  soon  as  I  can,  that  others  may  benefit 
by  your  wisdom. 


200  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


SLEIGH-RIDING. 


Some  forms  of  it  are  jolly.  A  big  sleigh,  filled  even 
full  with  loose  straw  and  sixteen  rollicking  boys  and 
girls  all  packed  in  together,  with  the  brag  hostler  from 
the  village  tavern,  all  swelled  out  with  pride  over  his 
team,  —  now,  that 's  jolly. 

But  this  getting  into  a  stylish  little  cramped  sleigh, 
stuck  up  on  a  high  seat,  with  fashionable  dress  and 
manners,  —  well,  I  rather  prefer  Benjamin  Franklin's 
style  of  sleigh-riding,  which,  I  believe,  was  to  sit  in  a 
passage-hall  with  the  doors  open  at  both  ends,  feet  in 
a  pail  of  ice-water,  with  some  one  to  jingle  the  shovel 
and  tongs.  Franklin  claimed  that  this  method  was 
cheaper  and  quite  as  comfortable. 


WOMAN'S  DRESS. 

He  who  would  labor  for  the  physical  redemption  of 
woman  in  America  must  begin  with  her  dress.  The 
prevailing  modes  constitute  an  insuperable  obstacle  to 
her  physical  development.  Every  humane  physiolo- 
gist has  argued,  expostidated,  and  implored.  If  Ameri- 
can women  should  squeeze  their  feet  until  those  mem- 
bers were  in  Chinese  fashion,  or  should  place  a  flat 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  201 

storib  on  the  head  until  the  brains  were  forced  into  the 
back  of  the  neck,  we  might  keep  silent ;  but  while 
they  compress  that  part  of  the  body  which  contains  the 
organs  of  vitality,  —  the  heart,  lungs,  liver,  and  stom- 
ach, —  we  must  continue  to  resist  their  madness.  In 
this  part  of  the  body  is  the  fountain  of  life.  The 
slightest  pressure  immediately  reduces  the  size  and 
activity  of  that  fountain.  He  who  has  thoughtfully 
studied  the  inevitable  results  of  the  prevailing  style 
of  dress  at  the  waist  will  affect  no  surprise  at  those 
cold  feet,  that  constipation,  weak  spine,  short  breath, 
palpitation  of  the  heart,  and  congestive  headache,  which 
are  the  average  characteristics  of  the  health  of  Ameri- 
can women.  Given  a  live  woman,  a  corset,  the  aver- 
age tight  dress,  and  the  physiologist  will  deduce  the 
morbid  conditions  I  have  named. 

Near  my  residence  are  three  shops,  —  a  rum-shop,  a 
candy-shop,  and  a  corset-shop.  I  do  not  know  which 
is  the  greatest  evil. 

My  practical  suggestion  is  that,  without  corsets,  the 
dress-waist  should  be  full  and  loose,  the  skirt-bands 
buttoned  about  the  waist  much  larger  than  the  body, 
supported  on  the  shoulders  by  suspenders,  such  as 
gentlemen  wear,  and  attached  to  the  ba-nds  at  the 
same  points.  My  own  wife  adopted  mai^y  years  ago 
the  style  I  advise,  and  is  greatly  delighted  with  the 
results.     The  dress  is  much  more  artistic  and  beauti- 

9* 


202  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ful  than  the  plain  waist  with  the  hard  iron-like  liga- 
ture at  the  band. 

After  twenty  years'  study  of  the  subject  of  health 
and  the  causes  of  disease,  if  I  were  permitted  to  select 
from  our  one  hundred  and  one  physiological  blunders 
that  one  which  I  should  most  desire  to  see  corrected,  I 
should  unhesitatingly  name  this  particular  feature  of 
woman's  dress. 


THE  LENGTH  OF  THE  SKIRT. 

The  most  earnest  efforts  looking  toward  dress  reform 
have  had  reference  to  the  length  of  the  skirt.  May  I 
be  permitted  a  word  on  this  point  ?  I  think  one  of 
woman's  first  duties  is  to  make  herself  as  beautiful 
as  possible.  A  long  skirt  —  a  train  even  —  is  in  fine 
taste.  A^^ng  the  dress  features  of  the  stage,  none  is 
so  beautiful  as  the  long  train.  The  artist  is  ever  de- 
lighted to  introduce  it  in  his  pictures  of  woman.  I 
confess  I  admire  it,  and  that  I  wish  it  could  be  again 
made  common  on  all  dress  occasions.  For  the  draw- 
ing-room it  is  superb.  If  it  is  said  that  expense  and 
inconvenience  are  involved,  I  ask.  Are  they  not  in 
paintings,  statuary,  etc.  ?  "When  we  meet  on  dress  occa- 
sions, I  cannot  see  why  we  may  not  introduce  this 
exquisite  feature. 

For  church  and  our  usual  afternoon  sittings,  skirts 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  203 

which  nearly  touch  the  floor  seem  to  me  in  good  taste, 
and  every  way  proper ;  but  for  the  street,  when  wet, 
snowy,  or  muddy,  for  the  active  duties  of  housekeeping, 
which  involve  much  running  up  stairs,  for  the  gymna- 
sium, for  mountain  trips,  etc.,  etc.,  I  need  not  argue 
with  those  whose  brains  are  not  befogged  by  fashion, 
that  the  skirts  should  fall  to  about  the  knee.  If  Miss 
Fastidious  suggests  that  the  adoption  of  such  a  cos- 
tume would  expose  the  limbs,  you  have  but  to  point  to 
what  may  be  seen  in  wet  weather  on  the  streets.  The 
attempt  to  lift  long  skirts  out  of  the  mud  displays  the 
lower  extremities  much  more  than  the  shortest  skirts. 
Nothing  is  more  pitiable  than  this  street  exhibition,  ex- 
cept, perhaps,  a  woman's  attempt  to  go  Up  stairs  with  a 
candle  in  one  hand,  a  baby  in  the  other,  and  a  bowl  of 
catnip-tea  in  the  other. 


ADVICE  TO  WOMEN. 

One  of  the  gravest  mistakes  in  your  dress  is  the 
very  thin  covering  of  your  arms  and  legs.  No  physi- 
ologist can  doubt  that  the  extremities  require  as  much 
covering  as  the  body.  A  fruitful  source  of  disease  — 
of  congestion  in  the  head,  chest,  and  abdomen  —  is 
found  in  the  nakedness  of  the  arms  and  legs,  which 
prevents  a  fair  distribution  of  the  blood. 


204  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

A  young  lady  has  just  asked  me  what  she  can  do 
for  her  very  thin  arms.  She  says  she  is  ashamed  of 
them.  I  felt  of  them  through  the  thin  lace  cover- 
ing, and  found  them  freezing  cold.  I  asked  her  what 
she  supposed  would  make  muscles  grow.  "  Exercise," 
she  replied.  Certainly ;  but  exercise  makes  them  grow 
only  by  giving  them  more  blood.  Six  months  of  vig- 
orous exercise  would  do  less  to  give  those  naked,  cold 
arms  circulation,  than  would  a  single  month,  were  they 
warmly  clad. 

The  value  of  exercise  depends  upon  the  temperature 
of  the  muscles.  A  cold  gymnasium  is  unprofitable.  Its 
temperature  should  be  between  sixty  and  seventy,  or 
the  limbs  should  be  warmly  clothed.  I  know  that  our 
servant-girls  and  blacksmiths,  by  constant  and  vigor- 
ous exercise,  acquire  large,  fine  arms,  in  spite  of  their 
nakedness  ;  and  if  young  ladies  will  labor  as  hard  from 
morning  till  night  as  do  these  useful  classes,  they  may 
have  as  fine  arms,  but  even  then  it  is  doubtful  if  they 
would  get  rid  of  their  congestions  in  the  head,  lungs, 
and  stomach,  without  more  dress  upon  the  arms  and 
legs. 

Perfect  health  depends  upon  perfect  circulation. 
Every  living  thing  that  has  the  latter  has  the  former. 
Put  your  hand  under  your  dress,  upon  your  body; 
now  put  your  hand  upon  your  arm.  If  you  find  the 
body  is  warmer  than  the  arm,  you  have  lost  the  equi- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  205 

librium  of  circulation.  The  head  has  too  much  blood, 
producing  headache  or  sense  of  fulness  ;  or  the  chest 
has  too  much  blood,  producing  cough,  rapid  breathing, 
pain  in  the  side,  or  palpitation  of  the  heart ;  or  the 
stomach  has  too  much  blood,  producing  indigestion ; 
or  the  liver  has  too  much  blood,  producing  some  dis- 
turbance ;  or  the  bowels  have  too  much  blood,  pro- 
ducing constipation  or  diarrhoea.  Any  or  all  of  these 
difficulties  are  temporarily  relieved  by  immersion  of 
the  feet  or  hands  in  hot  water,  and  they  are  perma- 
nently relieved  by  such  dress  and  exercise  of  the  ex- 
tremities as  will  make  the  derivation  permanent. 

Again  I  say,  the  extremities  require  as  much  cloth- 
ing as  the  body.  Women  should  dress  their  arms  and 
legs  with  one  or  two  thicknesses  of  knit  woollen  gar- 
ments which  fit  them.  The  absurdity  of  loose  flowing 
sleeves  and  wide-spread  skirts  I  will  not  discuss. 

Do  you  ask  why  the  arms  and  legs  may  not  become 
accustomed  to  exposure,  like  the  face  ?  I  answer,  God 
has  provided  the  face  with  an  immense  circulation,  be- 
cause it  must  be  exposed. 

The  underskirts  should  be  no  heavier  in  January 
than  in  July,  for  it  is  bad  to  carry  a  load  suspended 
either  at  your  waist  or  from  the  shoulders,  and  cer- 
tainly very  absurd  to  think  of  keeping  your  legs  and 
hips  warm  by  skiits  which  hang  a  foot  more  or  less 
from  them. 


20G  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Put  on  as  much  lace  and  ornament  as  you  please,  — 
be  a  very  leader  of  the  fashions  if  you  have  a  fancy 
for  so  mean  a  work,  —  and  if  you  desire  it  should  not 
be  known,  no  one  can  discover  that  underneath  these 
flounces  and  frills  you  have  a  dress  which  is  keeping 
every  part  warm,  and  fulfilling  the  highest  hygienic 
laws. 


TAKE   IT  OFF. 

You  think  the  corset  may  be  worn  so  loose  that  it 
will  do  no  hann.  If  worn  so  loose  as  not  to  interfere 
with  respiration  when  you  lean  forward  in  needlework, 
then  it  will  make  the  form  look  badly.  A  corset  to 
look  well  must  be  worn  snug  and  trim.  And  then  you 
think  the  corset  is  important  as  a  skirt-supporter.  It 
certainly  may  be  of  service  in  this  way,  but  it  is  not 
liaK  as  good  a  skirt-supporter  as  a  pair  of  common 
gentleman's  suspenders.  No,  girls,  the  corset  is  bad, 
and  only  bad.  It  is  not  only  a  great  enemy  to  health, 
but  it  is  the  great  destroyer  of  female  grace  and  beauty. 
A  rigid  stiffness  in  the  centre  of  the  body  makes  -all 
the  movements  of  the  entire  body  stiff  and  ungraceful. 
As  to  the  matter  of  beauty,  it 's  a  question  between 
the  Creator  and  the  dress-maker.  I  take  sides  with  the 
Creator ;  some  folks  take  the  other  side. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  207 


CLOTHING  FOR  COLD  WEATHER. 

The  usual  dress  is  sufficient  in  quantity,  and  often 
good  in  quality,  but  it  is  very  badly  distributed.  There 
is  too  much  about  the  trunk,  and  too  little  about  the 
lower  extremities.  If  one  quarter  of  the  heavy  woollen 
overcoat  or  shawl  were  taken  from  the  trunk,  and 
wrapped  about  the  legs,  it  would  prove  a  great  gain. 
When  we  men  ride  in  the  cars,  or  in  a  sleigh,  where  do 
we  suffer  ?  About  the  legs  and  feet !  When  women 
suffer  from  the  cold,  where  is  it  ?  It  is  about  the  legs 
and  feet ! 

The  legs  and  feet  are  down  near  the  floor,  where  the 
cold  currents  of  air  move.  The  air  is  so  cold  near  the 
floor  that  all  prudent  mothers  say,  "  Don't  lie  there, 
Peter ;  get  up,  Jerusha  Ann ;  play  on  the  sofa ;  you 
will  take  your  death  cold  lying  there  on  the  floor." 
And  they  are  quite  right.  If  the  room  be  well  venti- 
lated, the  air  down  near  the  floor  is  very  much  colder 
than  it  is  up  about  our  heads.  And  it  is  in  that  cold 
stratum  of  air  that  our  feet  and  legs  are  constantly. 
A  few  Yankees  put  them  on  the  mantel-shelf,  but  the 
majority  keep  their  feet  on  the  floor. 

Besides  this,  the  feet  and  legs,  on  account  of  their 
being  so  far  away,  and  on  account  of  their  size,  with 
the  air  all  about  them,  are  disposed  to  be  too  cold, 
even  without  being  in  a  colder  atmosphere. 


208  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Under  all  these  circumstances,  men  wear  one  thick- 
ness of  wool  and  cotton,  and  one  thickness  of  black 
broadcloth  about  their  legs,  and  three  or  four  times  as 
much  about  their  chests ;  and  now  they  often  add  an 
immense  pad  called  a  "  Chest  Protector."  And  women 
indulge  in  a  still  greater  contrast. 

Without  discussing  this  blunder  further,  I  will  give 
you  a  little  practical  advice,  which  my  observations 
and  experience  during  more  than  thirty  years  fully  in- 
dorse. 

During  the  damp  and  cold  season  the  legs  should  be 
encased  in  very  thidc  knit  woollen  drawers,  the  feet  in 
thick  woollen  stockings  (which  must  be  changed  every 
day),  and  the  shoe-soles  must  be  as  broad  as  the  feet 
when  fully  spread,  so  that  the  blood  shall  have  free 
passage.  If  the  feet  are  squeezed  in  the  least,  the  cir- 
culation is  checked,  and  coldness  is  inevitable.  This 
free  circulation  cannot  be  secured  by  a  loose  upper 
with  a  narrow  sole.  If  when  the  foot  stands  naked  on 
a  sheet  of  paper  it  measures  three  and  a  half  inches, 
the  sole  must  measure  three  and  a  half 

I  will  suppose  you  have  done  all  this  faithfuUy,  and 
yet  your  feet  and  legs  are  cold.  Now  add  more  wool- 
len, or,  if  you  are  to  travel  much  in  the  cars  or  in  a 
sleigh,  procure  a  pair  of  chamois-skin  or  wash-leather 
dmwers,  which  I  have  found  to  be  most  satisfactory. 

I  have  known  a  number  of  ladies  afflicted  with  hot 


FIVE-MINUTE  GHATS.  209 

and  aching  head,  and  other  evidence  of  congestion 
about  the  upper  parts,  who  were  completely  relieved 
by  a  pair  of  chamois-skin  drawers  and  broad-soled  shoes. 
Three  ladies  in  every  four  suffer  from  some  congestion 
in  the  upper  part  of  the  body.  It  is  felt  in  a  fulness 
of  the  head,  in  sore  throat,  in  palpitation  of  the  heart, 
torpid  liver,  and  in  many  other  ways.  It  is  well 
known  that  a  hot  foot-bath  will  relieve  for  the  time 
being  any  and  all  of  these  difficulties.  This  bath 
draws  the  blood  into  the  legs  and  feet,  relieving  the 
congestion  above.  What  the  hot  foot-bath  does  for  an 
hour,  the  broad-soled  shoes  with  thick  woollen  stock- 
ings, and  a  pair  of  flannel  drawers,  with  a  pair  of  wash- 
leather  drawers  added,  wiU.  do  permanently  ;  of  course 
I  am  speaking  of  cold  weather.  No  one  hesitates  to 
multiply  the  clothing  about  the  trunk.  Why  hesitate 
to  increase  the  clothing  about  the  legs  ?  As  a  prevent- 
ive of  many  common  affections  about  the  chest,  throat, 
and  head,  including  nasal  catarrh,  I  know  nothing  so 
effective  as  the  dress  of  the  lower  extremities  which  I 
am  advocating. 

The  bath  is  a  good  thing,  exercise  is  a  good  thing, 
friction  is  a  good  thing ;  but,  after  all,  our  main  de- 
pendence in  this  climate  must  ever  be,  during  the  cold 
season,  warm  clothing.  Already  we  overdo  this  about 
our  trunks,  but  not  one  person  in  ten  wears  clothing 
enough  about  the  legs  and  feet. 


210  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


A  WORD  TO  THE  WISE. 

Eemember  the  judicious  advice  given  by  that  arch 
adept  in  "  The  Art  of  Shopping,"  Lady  Betty  Buybar- 
gain,  to  her  niece,  Miss  K.  Cutadash.  The  fair  Kitty 
was  ever  and  anon  irritably  anxious  to  be  vfhirled  to 
the  door  of  every  Magasin  des  Modes  that  her  caprice 
called  her  to  in  her  aunt's  showy  carriage,  saying,  "  I 
assure  you  that  if  you  go  in  your  carriage,  my  dear 
aunt,  the  people  are  infinitely  politer  than  they  are  to 
their  walking  customers."  "Ay,  ay,"  replied  the  dis- 
creet dowager,  "what  you  say  may  be  true  enough, 
dear,  and  their  politeness  may  be  pleasant  enough,  love, 
if —  as  my  poor,  dear  Sir  Benjamin  Buy  bargain  always 
used  to  say  —  if  they  did  n't  book  it,  Kitty !  But  they 
charge  for  it,  my  child,  —  they  charge  for  it,  dear !  As 
Sir  Benjamin  used  to  say,  they  put  those  bows  down  in 
their  bills ! " 


IS  YOUR  DAUGHTER  A  FASHIONABLE 
BUTTERFLY  ? 

I  PITY  you.  But  you  must  not  despair.  Pray  for 
her  and  pray  with  her.  Ask  the  clei-gyman  to  caU 
upon  her  and  pray  with  her.  Eeason  with  her,  expostu- 
late, plead,  implore.  liupress  upon  her  the  dignity  and 
decency  of  human  nature.     Explain  God's  purpose  in 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  211 

her  creation.  Hold  a  butterfly  up  before  her,  and  elab- 
orate the  distinction  between  her  and  it. 

If  all  these  should  fail,  there  comes  a  moment  when 
it  shall  be  decided  whether  you  are  fit  to  have  the  di- 
rection of  your  child,  —  whether  it  would  not  be  better 
were  you  dead  and  out  of  the  way,  that  she  might  fall 
into  other  and  wiser  hands.  You  must  exercise  your 
authority.  You  must  strip  her  of  these  gewgaws  and 
drive  her  into  the  kitchen. 

In  your  relations  to  her  you  are  charged  with  solemn 
responsibilities  ;  and  if  you  flinch  in  the  persistent  em- 
ployment of  any  and  all  reasonable  means  to  rid  her  of 
her  miserable  hallucination,  you  are  false  to  your  child, 
to  society,  and  to  God. 


MOURNING. 


One  need  not  speak  of  the  mourning  of  the  heart ; 
that  will  take  care  of  itself.  I  speak  of  the  external 
signs.  There  is  a  strange  difference  among  the  nations. 
Among  several  of  the  most  advanced  people,  black 
dress  has  been  chosen.  The  great  expense,  the  depress- 
ing influence  upon  the  spirits,  and  the  bad  effect  of  this 
color  upon  the  bodily  conditions,  have  been  observed 
and  urged  against  this  method  of  display. 

Black  is  the  worst  color  for  winter  and  for  summer. 


212  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

for  dry  weather  and  for  a  damp  atmosphere.  Alto- 
gether, the  custom  of  announcing  grief  through  hlack 
clothes  seems  to  be  the  worst  method  ever  devised. 

It  is  gratifying  to  hear  from  intelligent  people,  as 
one  may  not  unfrequently,  that  under  no  circumstances 
would  they  display  a  mourning  dress.  I  will  not  say 
that  it  is  a  flat  contradiction  of  the  Christian  faith,  I 
will  not  say  that  it  savors  of  ostentation,  I  will  not 
say  that  there  is  frequently  a  painful  incongruity  be- 
tween the  mourning  dress  and  the  conduct  of  the  wear- 
er ;  but  I  wiU  say  that  a  black  mourning  dress  is  un- 
physiological,  that  it  casts  a  shadow  over  the  spirits  of 
the  wearer,  and  constantly  reminds  her  of  the  dead  friend, 
and  in  other  ways  tends  toward  depressing  the  general 
health  and  tone.  I  can't  conceive  of  a  grief  which  I 
should  try  to  express  with  crape.  By  instinct,  I  should 
avoid  all  such  announcements.  And  then,  when  the 
prescribed  year  has  passed,  the  tapering  off  in  the  shades 
of  black,  and  the  final  bursting  out  in  brilliant  colors 
again,  is  so  absurd,  that  it  seems  quite  unneceGsary  to 
expose  one's  self  to  the  necessity  of  advertising  this 
graduated  dying  out  of  one's  sorrow. 


Light  and  Health,  —  As  an  instance  of  the  value 
of  sunlight,  Dupuytren,  the  celebrated  physician,  men- 
tions the  case  of  a  French  lady  whose  disease  baffled 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  213 

the  skill  of  the  most  eminent  men.  This  lady  resided 
in  a  dark  room  in  one  of  the  narrow  streets  of  Paris. 
After  a  careful  examination  he  was  led  to  refer  her 
complaint  to  the  absence  of  light,  and  caused  her  to  be 
removed  to  a  more  cheerful  situation.  The  change  was 
attended  with  most  beneficial  results,  —  all  her  com- 
plaints vanished.  It  is  remarkable  that  Lavoisier, 
writing  in  the  last  century,  should  have  placed  light  as 
an  agent  of  health,  even  before  pure  air.  In  fact,  where 
you  can  obtain  abundance  of  light,  it  is  also  gener- 
ally possible  to  obtain  pure  air.  In  England  a  similar 
thing  occurs;  invalids  are  almost  always  shut  up  in 
close  rooms,  curtains  drawn,  and  light  excluded. 


TO  GIRLS  ABOUT  TO  MARRY. 

Our  dear  friend.  Professor  R,  married  a  beautiful  and 
cultivated  lady,  full  of  all  womanly  sweetness.  In  con- 
sulting me  a  few  months  after  the  wedding  about  her 
health,  she  exclaimed  :  "  I  cannot  have  it  so  !  I  must 
in  some  way  recover  my  health.  Why  did  I  not  attend 
to  it  before  ?  No  woman  with  weaknesses  has  a  right 
to  become  a  wife  !  What  can  be  done  ?  I  would  do 
anything  to  secure  a  sweet,  healthy  condition  of  my 
body.     Do  tell  me  what  to  do  ! " 

Thousands  of  women  weep  bitter  tears  when,  after 


214  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  ceremony,  they  find  themselves  unfit  for  the  mar- 
riage relation.  Thousands  and  thousands  of  men  are 
turned  back  in  their  love  by  finding  that,  instead  of 
the  sweet,  perfect  being  they  had  fancied,  there  is  de- 
ficiency and  disease.  The  new  husband  finds  that  the 
beautifully  moulded  form  he  had  so  long  admired  is 
only  a  trick  of  the  dress-maker,  and  the  body  which 
had  seemed  so  sweet  and  pure  is  the  victim  of  displace- 
ments and  disease.  Thousands  and  thousands  of  hus- 
bands turn  away  in  bitter  disappointment.  This  is  the 
source  of  numberless  heart-breakings  among  married 
people. 

There  are  certain  qualities  indispensable  to  a  good 
wife.  Health  is  fundamental.  Without  this,  aU  ac- 
complishments are  a  vain  show  Nothing  whatever 
can  compensate  for  the  lack  of  good  digestion  and  a 
quiet  nerve.  If  the  queen  of  his  castle  sits  in  the 
darkness  of  dyspepsia,  or  writhes  in  the  agonies  of  tic- 
douloureux,  the  recollection  that  she  shone  as  the  bright 
particular  star  at  Madame  Pompadour's  finishing  semi- 
nary, or  that  at  Saratoga  last  season  she  astonished 
even  the  professionals  with  her  execution  of  Bach's 
compositions,  will  not  penetrate  the  gloom  of  his  home 
with  a  single  ray  of  light.  His  house  may  be  filled 
with  servants,  but  only  one  being  is  near  and  dear  to 
him,  and  that  one  petulantly  whines,  "O,  don't  light 
the  gas,  I  can't  bear  the  light ;  and  please  don't  walk 


1 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  215 

SO  heavy.  0  Charles,  please  don't  speak  so  loud !  O 
dear  me,  my  head  is  dreadful !  O  dear  me,  dear  me  ! " 
I  repeat,  health  is  fundamental.  It  may  not  be 
necessary  in  the  next  world,  but  in  this  world  it  is 
absolutely  essential.  Without  it,  high  birth,  educa- 
tion, accomplishments,  and  wealth  are  all  nothing,  — 
all  a  mere  mockery.  Health  is  by  no  means  all  that 
enters  into  the  make-up  of  a  wifely  success,  but  with- 
out it  the  rarest  qualities  of  head  and  heart  will  at  best 
help  her  to  achieve  a  beautiful  failure. 


ONE  CAUSE  OF  ILL  HEALTH. 

I  ASKED  a  druggist  what  particular  article  or  line 
of  goods  he  sold  most  of.  He  replied,  without  hesi- 
tation, "  Compounds  for  improving  the  complexion." 

The  number  of  these  preparations  is  surprising ;  they 
must  be  generally  employed.  I  have  noticed  that  while 
nine  girls  out  of  ten  have  a  singularly  smooth,  perfect 
skin  upon  the  face,  the  doctor  is  constantly  consulted 
with  reference  to  roughness  and  eruptions  on  other 
parts  of  their  persons.  Girls  are  not  generally  as 
healthy  as  boys,  but  the  skin  of  their  faces  seems  much 
smoother  and  finer  than  that  of  boys.  This  difference,  it 
is  fair  to  presume,  comes  of  the  bottles  and  boxes  found 
at  the  apothecaries.    I  have  read,  and  you  have  all  read, 


216  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

of  the  analyses  which  careful  chemists  have  made  of  a 
great  number  of  these  preparations,  and  in  this  way  we 
have  learned  that  they  are  poisonous.  Arsenic  is  a 
very  common  ingredient.  Not  one  of  them,  the  analy- 
sis of  which  I  have  examined,  is  fit  to  rub  on  the  hu- 
man skin. '  We  all  rejoice  that  the  hair  preparations,  so 
generally  employed  to  color  the  hair  a  few  years  since, 
have  gone  out  of  fashion.  They  poisoned  us,  doing  a 
great  deal  of  harm  to  the  brain  and  nervous  system. 
These  preparations  were  generally  less  poisonous  than 
the  complexion  fluids  are,  but  were  taken  into  the  system 
in  the  same  way,  by  absorption  through  the  skin.  The 
impression  is  gaining  ground  among  medical  men,  that 
a  certain  class  of  nervous  affections,  too  common  among 
our  girls,  originate  in  the  fluids  and  powders  which 
they  employ  to  improve  their  complexions. 

What  a  gain  it  would  be  every  way  if  they  would 
keep  their  faces  clear  and  bright  by  frequent  bathing, 
exercise,  sunshine,  and  pure  air!  As  things  now  go, 
they  are  not  what  they  seem ;  but  if  they  would  depend 
upon  the  natural  methods,  they  would  not  only  secure  a 
bright,  beautiful  face,  but  they  would  be  bright  and 
happy  from  top  to  toe,  all  the  way  through,  and  not 
simply  on  a  small  portion  of  the  surface. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  217 


HOW  TO  GET  WELL. 

A  LADY  has  just  left  my  rooms  whose  case  illus- 
trates an  important  idea.  Ten  years  ago  she  was  an 
invalid.  Her  malady  was  obstinate,  and  at  the  end  of 
a  year's  treatment  a  consultation  resulted  in  the  opin- 
ion that  her  case  was  cerebro-spinal  irritation,  from 
which  she  would  probably  never  recover.  Six  years 
ago  her  husband  died.  His  estate  proved  insolvent. 
The  wife  engaged  in  an  active  occupation  to  support 
her  three  children.  In  a  year  she  was  well,  and  has 
remained  so  ever  since. 

There  are  two  million  dyspeptics  in  America.  Nine 
in  ten  of  them  could  be  cured  by  work. 

A  wealthy  clergyman  from  a  neighboring  State 
assured  me  that  he  had  spent  eight  years  and  thirty 
thousand  dollars  in  seeking  a  cure  for  his  dyspepsia. 
He  had  travelled  everywhere  and  consulted  all  sorts 
of  doctors.  I  am  afraid  he  will  never  forgive  me  for 
telling  him  that  six  months'  hard  work  would  make  a 
well  man  of  him. 


DIOGENES  FOUND  OUT  THE  SECRET. 

I  DO  not  advise  you  to  sit  in  a  tub  out  in  the  sun- 
light.    But  there  is   no   doubt  that   wise   old   cynic, 

10 


218  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Diogenes,  had  found  out  a  very  important  secret  when 
he  showed  his  appreciation  of  the  light  in  so  marked  a 
manner,  and  growled  out  to  the  great  Alexander  that  he 
could  do  nothing  for  him  but  "  stand  out  of  his  sun- 
shine." 

Seclusion  from  sunshine  is  one  of  the  misfortunes 
of  our  civilized  life.  The  same  cause  wKich  makes 
potato-vines  white  and  sickly  when  grown  in  dark 
cellars  operates  to  produce  the  pale  sickly  girls  that 
are  reared  in  our  parlors.  Expose  either  to  the  direct 
rays  of  the  sun,  and  they  begin  to  show  color,  health, 
and  strength. 

When  in  London,  some  years  ago,  I  visited  an  estab- 
lishment which  had  acquired  a  wide  reputation  for  the 
cure  of  those  maladies  in  which  prostration  and  ner- 
vous derangements  were  prominent  features,  I  found 
in  the  use  made  of  sunshine  the  secret  of  success. 
The  slate  roof  had  been  removed  and  a  glass  one  sub- 
stituted. The  upper  story  had  been  divided  into  six- 
teen small  rooms,  each  one  provided  with  a  lounge, 
washing  apparatus,  etc.  The  patient,  on  entering  each 
his  little  apartment,  removed  all  his  clothing,  and 
exposed  himself  to  the  direct  rays  of  the  sun.  Lying 
on  the  lounge,  and  turning  over  from  time  to  time,  each 
and  every  part  of  the  body  was  thus  exposed  to  the 
life-giving  rays  of  the  sun.  Several  London  physicians 
candidly  confessed    to    me    that    many  cases   which 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  219 

seemed  waiting  only  for  the  shroud,  were  galvanized 
into  life  and  health  by  this  baptism  in  the  blessed 
sunshine. 

Many  years  ago  a  clergyman  who  had  for  years 
been  a  victim  of  dyspepsia,  and  who  had  prayed  for 
death  as  the  only  door  of  escape,  came  at  length, 
through  the  advice  of  a  mutual  friend,  to  consult  with 
me.  I  advised  the  disuse  of  all  medicines,  the  gener- 
ous use  of  cracked  wheat  and  good  beef,  and  miicli 
exposure  to  sunshine.  To  secure  the  last-mentioned 
influence,  I  directed  him  to  build  a  close  fence,  cov- 
ering a  space  twenty  feet  square,  in  his  garden,  and 
plant  the  earth  within  with  something  to  occupy  his 
mind.  Then  when  the  weather  was  warm,  shutting 
himself  in,  he  was  to  busy  himself,  quite  nude,  with  the 
cultivation  of  his  vegetables  from  ten  to  sixty  minutes 
a  day,  always  indulging  in  a  thorough  bath  and  vig- 
orous friction  before  leaving.     He  was  radically  cured  ! 

I  was  practising  my  profession  in  Buffalo,  New 
York,  during  '49  and  '51,  those  memorable  cholera 
seasons.  I  saw  at  least  five  cases  of  cholera  on  the 
shady  side  of  the  street  and  houses  to  one  on  the 
sunny  side.  One  eminent  physician  in  New  Orleans 
reports  from  his  own  practice  eight  cases  of  yellow  fever 
on  the  shady  side  of  the  street  to  one  on  the  sunny 
side. 

Who  has  not  read  Florence   Nightingale's  observa- 


220  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

tions  in  the  Crimea  as  between  the  shady  and  sunny- 
side  of  the  hospitals  ?  In  St,  Petersburg  the  shady 
side  of  the  hospitals  was  so  notoriously  unfavorable 
to  the  sick  soldier,  that  the  Czar  decreed  it  into 
disuse. 

The  shade  trees  about  our  dwellings  have  done  much 
to  make  Our  wives  and  daughters  pale,  feeble,  and  neu- 
ralgic. Trees  ought  never  to  stand  near  enough  to  our 
dwellings  to  cast  a  shade  upon  them.  If  the  blinds 
were  removed,  and  nothing  but  a  curtain  within,  with 
which  to  lessen  on  the  hottest  days  the  intensity  of 
the  heat,  it  would  add  greatly  to  the  tone  of  our  nerves 
and  to  our  general  vigor.  The  piazzas  which  project 
over  the  lower  story  always  make  that  less  healthy 
than  the  upper  story,  especially  for  sleeping  purposes. 
I  am  sure  I  have  cured  a  great  many  cases  of  rheuma- 
tism by  advising  patients  to  leave  bedrooms  shaded  by 
trees  or  piazzas,  and  sleep  in  a  room  and  bed  which 
were  constantly  dried  and  purified  by  the  direct  rays 
of  the  sun. 


AN  EXPERIMENT. 

At  the  rear  end  of  our  parlor  it  was  not  very  dark. 
Indeed,  we  could  see  to  read  small  newspaper  print  at 
the  least  lighted  point.  At  that  point  we  put  a  bracket 
against  the  wall,  and  transferred  to  it  a  plant  from  the 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  221 

window.  In  four  days  it  looked  sick ;  in  two  weeks  it 
was  yellow ;  in  five  weeks  it  was  apparently  dead. 
Another  plant  was  placed  on  the  centre-table,  which 
was  about  half-way  from  the  front  windows  to  the 
position  of  the  first  plant.  At  the  end  of  five  weeks 
that  had  lost  its  green,  and  was  evidently  failing.  The 
girls  in  our  parlor,  who  were  out  not  more  than  an  hour 
a  day  on  an  average,  except  they  went  to  places  of 
amusement  in  the  evening,  were  as  pale,  yeUow,  and 
sickly  as  the  plants,  and  we  think  for  the  same  reason, 
—  a  lack  of  full,  strong  light. 


TO  A   NERVOUS  LADY. 

It  is  the  opinion  of  many  medical  men  that  sleeping 
with  the  head  toward  the  north  alleviates  nervousness 
and  favors  sound  sleep.  I  do  not  certainly  know  that 
it  is  so,  but  I  have  known  several  cases  in  which  there 
appeared  strong  confirmation  of  the  theory ;  and,  in- 
deed, I  have  experienced  a  considerable  addition  to  my 
ability  to  enjoy  an  entire  night  of  undisturbed  sleep  by 
changing  the  head  of  my  bed  from  the  east  to  the  north. 
I  need  not  give  the  philosophy,  or  what  is  supposed  to 
be  the  philosophy,  of  this  theory,  as  I  suppose  it  is  gen- 
erally known  ;  but  if  it  were  at  aU  convenient,  I  should 
always  have  the  head  of  my  bed  toward  the  north. 


222  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS, 


ABOUT    SLEEP. 

A  VERY  thin  young  lady,  of  about  thirty  years,  with 
a  promising  beau,  came  to  consult  me  about  her  "  skin 
and  bones."  I  had  frequently  met  her  when  she  seemed 
even  more  emaciated,  but  now  she  "  would  give  the 
world  to  be  plump."  Sitting  down  in  front  of  me,  she 
began  with,  "  Don't  you  think,  doctor,  that  I  look  very- 
old  for  twenty  ? " 

I  admitted  that  she  looked  rather  old  for  twenty. 

"  Can  anything  be  done  for  me  ?  What  can  I  take 
for  it  ?  I  should  be  willing  to  take  a  hundred  bottles 
of  the  worst  stuff  in  the  world,  if  I  could  only  get  some 
fat  on  these  bones.  A  friend  of  mine  [her  beau]  was 
saying  yesterday  that  he  would  give  a  fortune  to  see 
me  round  and  plump." 

"  Would  you  be  willing  to  go  to  the  Cliff  Springs  in 
Arkansas  ? " 

"  I  would  start  to-morrow." 

"  But  the  waters  are  very  bad  to  drink,"  I  said. 

"  I  don't  care  how  bad  they  are  ;  I  know  I  can  drink 
them." 

"  I  asked  you  whether  you  were  willing  to  go  to  the 
Arkansas  Springs  to  test  the  strength  of  your  purpose. 
It  is  not  necessary  to  leave  your  home.  Nine  thin 
people  in  ten  can  become  reasonably  plump  without 
such  a  sacrifice." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  223 

"  Why,  doctor,  I  am  delighted  to  hear  it ;  but  I  sup- 
pose it  is  a  lot  of  some  awful  bitter  stuff." 

"  Yes,  it  is  a  pretty  bitter  dose,  and  has  to  be  taken 
every  night." 

"  I  don't  care  ;  I  would  take  it  if  it  was  ten  times  as 
bad.     What  is  it  ?     What  is  the  name  of  it  ? " 

"  The  technical  name  of  the  stuff  is  '  Bedibus  N"ine- 
o'clockibus.' " 

"  Why,  doctor,  what  an  awful  name  !  I  am  sure  I 
shall  never  be  able  to  speak  it.  Is  there  no  common 
English  word  for  it  ?  " 

"  0  yes.  The  English  of  it  is,  '  You  must  be  in 
bed  every  night  at  nine  o'clock.'  We  doctors  gen- 
erally use  Latin.  '  Bedibus  Nineo'clockibus '  is  the 
Latin  for  '  You  must  be  in  bed  every  night  by  nine 
o'clock.' " 

"  0,  that  is  dreadful !  I  thought  it  was  something  I 
could  take." 

"  It  is.  You  must  take  your  bed  every  night  before 
the  clock  strikes  nine." 

"  No  ;  but  what  I  thought  was  that  you  would  give 
me  something  in  a  bottle  to  take." 

"Of  course,  I  know  very  well  what  you  thought. 
That 's  the  way  with  all  of  you." 

One  person  eats  enormously  of  rich  food  till  liis 
stomach  and  liver  refuse  to  budge ;  then  he  cries  out, 
"  O  doctor,  what  can  I  take  ?    I  must  take  something." 


224  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Another  fills  his  system  with  tobacco  until  his  nerves 
are  ruined,  and  then,  trembling  and  full  of  horrors,  he 
exclaims,  "  0  doctor,  what  shall  I  take  ? "  I  write  a 
prescription  for  him,  —  Quitibtcs  Chawihus  et  Smokibiis. 

I  will  suppose  my  patient  is  not  a  classical  scholar, 
as  I  am  sure  my  reader  is,  and  so  I  translate  it  for  him 
into  English.  He  cries  out  at  once,  "  O  doctor,  I  thought 
you  would  give  me  something  to  take  I " 

Another  sits  up  till  thirteen  or  fourteen  o'clock,  leads 
a  life  of  theatres  and  other  dissipations,  becomes  pale, 
dyspeptic,  and  wretched,  and  then  flies  to  the  doctor, 
and  cries,  "  O  doctor,  what  shall  I  take  ?  What  sliall  I 
take?" 

"  Now,  madam,  you  are  distressed  because  your  lover 
has  been  looking  at  your  '  skin  and  bones.' " 

"  But,  doctor,  you  are  entirely  —  " 

"  0,  well,  we  '11  say  nothing  about  him,  then.  But 
tell  me,  what  time  do  you  go  to  bed  ? " 

"  Generally  about  twelve  o'clock." 

"Yes,  I  thought  so.  Now,  if  you  will  go  to  bed 
every  night  for  six  months  at  nine  o'clock,  without 
making  any  other  change  in  your  habits,  you  will  gain 
ten  pounds  in  weight  and  look  five  years  younger. 
Your  skin  will  become  fresh,  and  your  spirits  improve 
wonderfully." 

"  I  '11  do  it.  Though,  of  course,  when  I  have  com- 
pany, and  during  the  opera,  I  can't  do  it." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  225 

It  is  regularity  that  does  the  business.  To  sit  up  till 
twelve  o'clock  three  nights  of  the  week,  and  then  get  to 
bed  at  nine  o'clock  four  nights,  one  might  think  would 
do  very  well,  and  that  at  any  rate  it  would  be  "  so  far, 
so  good."  I  don't  think  this  every  other  night  early 
and  every  other  night  late  is  much  better  than  every 
night  late.  It  is  regularity  that  is  vital  in  the  case.  • 
Even  sitting  up  one  night  a  week  deranges  the  nervous 
system  for  the  whole  week.  I  have  sometimes  thought 
that  these  people  who  sit  up  till  eleven  or  twelve  o'clock 
every  night  get  on  quite  as  well  as  those  who  turn  in 
early  six  nights,  and  then  sit  up  once  a  week  till  mid- 
night. Regularity  in  sleep  is  every  whit  as  important 
as  regularity  in  food. 

At  length  my  patient  exclaimed,  "  Doctor,  I  will  go 
to  bed  every  night  for  six  months  before  nine  o'clock, 
if  it  kills  me,  or  rather  if  it  breaks  the  hearts  of  all  my 
friends." 

She  did  it.  Twenty-one  pounds  was  the  gain  in  five 
months.  Her  spirits  were  happily  enlivened,  and  she 
spent  half  her  time  in  telling  her  friends  of  her  delight 
with  the  new  habits.  She  had  no  further  cause  to  com- 
plain of  skin  and  bones,  and  she  had  the  special  grati- 
fication of  appearing  more  attractive  in  the  eyes  of  her 
lover.  He,  like  a  sensible  man,  when  he  saw  the  good 
effects  of  the  nine-o'clock-to-bed  arrangement,  heartily 
approved  of  it,  and  became  a  convert  himself. 

10* 


226  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


SHALL  I  GO  TO  THE  SPRINGS? 

This  question  comes  to  me  from  many  friends  who 
are  in  the  habit  of  looking  to  me  for  guidance  in  mat- 
ters of  health.  I  have  received  from  an  old  patient 
the  card  of  a  famous  spring,  with  an  analysis  of  its 
waters.  My  friend  thinks  the  analysis  is  a  settler. 
The  water  contains  "  sulphuretted  hydrogen  gas,  chlo- 
ride of  soda,  potassia,  and  magnesia;  also  alumina, 
lime,  and  iron."  She  asks  if  I  don't  tliink  these  things 
are  adapted  to  her  case.  I  don't  know,  and  I  presume 
to  say  that  no  one  else  knows,  unless  it  is  the  Yankee 
who  owns  the  spring.  He,  probably,  has  very  distinct 
views  on  the  subject.  One  would  have  to  look  very 
far  for  such  bosh,  such  humbuggery,  as  is  proclaimed 
about  the  ingredients  of  the  various  spring- waters,  and 
their  adaptation  to  various  human  maladies. 

I  have  no  patience  with  this  stuff.  The  extravagant, 
pompous  praise  of  the  patent-medicine  quacks  we  bear 
with  patience,  because  we  know  they  are  quacks,  and 
we  expect  that,  like  a  circus  poster,  they  will  use  strong 
colors ;  but  when  you  see  intelligent  people  circulating 
with  enthusiasm  the  fact  that  a  certain  spring- water  in 
Saratoga  actually  contains  soda,  magnesia,  lime,  lithia, 
and  potassa,  with  an  earnest  statement  that  these 
must  be  good  for  your  complaint,  it  is  really  too  much 
for  one's  patience. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  227 

Such  places  as  Saratoga  and  Long  Branch,  with  their 
fashionable  strain,  cannot  contribute  to  anybody's 
health.  The  people  who  flock  to  these  places  are 
mostly  from  the  cities,  worn  out  with  operas,  theatres, 
and  other  fashionable  killing,  and  are  dying  for  the 
quiet  of  a  farm  up  in  New  Hampshire.  They  go,  in- 
stead, to  Saratoga,  have  the  same  food  which  they  use 
at  home  in  the  city,  —  often  worse,  —  and  instead  of 
rest,  dress  more  extravagantly,  and  change  their  dress 
more  frequently  than  at  home.  They  sit  up  quite  as 
late,  and  violate  the  laws  of  health  generally  even 
more  than  at  home.  Fortunately  for  them,  these 
people  have  very  little  occasion  to  use  their  brains,  so 
that  their  exhaustion  is  mostly  physical. 


My  neighbor,  who  lives  in  a  palace,  —  a  great  airy, 
bright,  beautiful  house  on  Beacon  Hill,  in  Boston 
(I  think  his  bedroom  is  twenty  by  thirty  feet,  and  not 
less  than  fourteen  feet  high),  —  has  just  returned  from 
the  country  with  his  family.  He  has  been  out  of  town 
about  three  months.  They  have  all  been  out  for  pleasure 
and  health.  I  dropped  in  to  see  them  last  evening. 
After  the  hand-shaking,  I  asked,  — 

"  Well,  how  have  you  enjoyed  it  ? " 

"  O,  splendid,  splendid,  perfectly  splendid ! "  ex- 
claimed Miss  Jennie. 


228  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

"Yes,"  growled  the  father,  "perfectly  magnificent. 
Bedrooms  about  the  size  of  a  dry-goods  box,  no  venti- 
lation, saleratus  biscuit,  no  baths,  —  nothing  but  mos- 
quitoes !  mosquitoes !    O,  yes,  it  is  perfectly  glorious  ! " 


A  HINT  TO  WIVES. 

In  a  street-car  I  overheard  a  conversation  between 
a  husband  and  wife,  which  I  wish  to  repeat :  — 

"John,  I  wish  to  speak  to  you  about  something 
which  I  am  afraid  you  won't  like.  Won't  you  be  so 
kind  as  to  let  me  have  six  dollars  and  a  half  ?  I  don't 
like  to  ask  it,  and  I  have  put  it  off  and  put  it  off  till  I 
don't  see  how  I  can  put  it  off  any  longer." 

"  Six  dollars  and  a  half !  Now,  look  here,  Mary,  do 
you  think  I  am  made  of  money  ?  Six  dollars  and  a 
half !  Why,  it 's  only  the  other  day  that  I  gave  you 
five  dollars.  What  nonsense  are  you  after  this  time  ? 
Do  you  suppose  I  pick  up  money  in  the  street  ?  Well, 
I  don't.     I  work  for  every  dollar  and  every  penny ! " 

"No,  John,  dear,  I  know  you  have  to  work  for 
money,  and  I  have  hardly  slept  for  a  week  thinking 
about  asking  you,  but  I  don't  see  how  I  can  get  along 
another  day  mthout  a  bonnet.  Since  mine  was  wet 
that  day,  I  have  seen  aU  the  time  that  I  must  have  a 
new  one.     And  tlien,  you  must  n't  be  offended  with 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  229 

me,  but  it  was  four  months  ago  that  you  gave  me  the 
five  dollars,  and  you  know  what  I  spent  that  for,  and  I 
am  sure  you  approved  of  it." 

"0,  of  course  it  is  all  right  and  very  necessary, 
and  you  couldn't  possibly  live  a  minute  without  it. 
That 's  always  the  way  with  you  women.  And  then 
what  in  the  world  do  you  want  to  give  six  dollars  and 
a  half  for  one  of  those  little  contemptible  bonnets  for  ? 
They  are  not  worth  six  cents  and  a  half" 

"  I  am  very  sorry  I  can't  get  one  cheaper,  but  this  is 
the  very  cheapest  one  I  could  find.  Why,  John,  that 
hat  which  I  wore  just  before  we  were  married  cost 
twenty-five  dollars ! " 

"  I  shall  give  you  the  money  of  course ;  if  it  was  six 
millions,  you  must  have  it,  or  you  would  go  into  a 
fit  and  die.  The  times  are  tight,  I  can  tell  you,  and 
you  will  have  to  get  along  as  cheaply  as  you  can." 

I  would  have  given  something  for  the  privilege 
of  conversing  with  that  young  wife.  I  should  have 
said :  "  Dear  madam,  you  are  in  great  danger  of  losing 
your  husband's  esteem  and  affection.  No  man  can 
long  respect  a  woman,  be  she  liis  wife  or  otherwise, 
who  begs  and  crawls  at  his  feet.  Nothing  can  com- 
pensate you  for  the  loss  of  his  respect  and  love.  Any 
woman  who  is  willing  to  beg  for  money  to  buy  a  bon- 
net must  be  mean-spirited  indeed.  If  she  is  starving 
to  death,  perhaps  begging  might  be  excusable,  but  to 


230  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

beg  for  an  article  of  ornamental  dress  is  despicable. 
But  if  you  have  made  up  your  mind  to  beg  for  a  bon- 
net, don't  imperil  the  respect  and  love  of  your  husband 
in  addition  to  the  humiliation  of  the  begging.  If  you 
must  beg,  beg  of  some  one  whose  respect  is  not  so  vital 
to  your  happiness.  Can't  you  earn  money  in  some 
way?  Better  go  to  some  good  neighbor  and  do  any 
kind  of  work  that  you  are  able  to  do,  —  better  scrub, 
—  better  resort  to  anything,  except  theft,  rather  than 
crawl  at  the  feet  of  the  one  man  whose  esteem  is 
dearer  to  you  than  any  other  earthly  possession.  And 
if  a  wife  is  not  able  to  work,  or  has  children,  and 
therefore  no  time  for  other  tasks,  then  she  should  say 
to  her  husband, '  I  will  never  beg.  If  you  see  the  wis- 
dom of  setting  aside  a  certain  amount  for  my  ward- 
robe, very  well;  if  not,  then  you  must  observe  for 
yom'self,  and  thus  find  out  what  is  necessary  in  my 
personal  expenses.'  The  respect  and  tenderness  which 
this  course  would  secure  would  be  worth  to  you  a 
thousand-fold  more  than  the  most  elaborate  dress  in 
the  world." 


Is  YOUR  Wife  nervous  and  fretful  ?  —  This  is 
certainly  very  wrong  of  her.  No  doubt  she  will  plead 
her  thousand  and  one  cares  and  vexations,  but  all  that 
certainly  gives  her  no  right  to  disturb  her  lord's  peace 
and  comfort.     Let  me  whisper  in  your  ear.     I  think  I 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  231 

can  suggest  a  scheme  that  will  make  her  ashamed  of 
this  irritability.  Try  upon  her  the  tenderness  of  the 
honeymoon.  Don't  think  to  make  her  happy  with  a 
brocade  or  a  new  carriage ;  but  when  you  come  home, 
bring  with  you  her  favorite  flower,  —  show  her  in  a 
hundred  ways  that  she  is  in  all  your  thoughts.  This 
is  the  medicine  that  will  cure  her.  Try  love  in  large 
and  repeated  doses.  It  is  the  specific  for  many  of  the 
worst  complaints  among  our  wives. 


SOMETHING  NEW. 

I  HAVE  met  a  wonder.  It  is  a  dress-maker  who 
won't  blab.  Dress-makers  go  into  families  in  such  a 
way  that  they  are  sure  to  hear  a  great  many  things 
which  ought  not  to  be  repeated,  but  many  of  them 
are  most  industrious  pickers-up  of  information,  which 
they  circulate.  I  have  met  one  who  won't  do  it.  She 
either  says  pleasant  things  or  keeps  her  lips  sealed. 
What  a  comfort  it  would  be  to  all  who  employ  dress- 
makers in  their  houses  if  these  very  useful  people 
would  only  give  notice,  so  that  we  could  select  judi- 
ciously !  This  plan  has  occurred  to  me  as  simple  and 
convenient :  Let  the  gossipers  wear  hung  about  their 
necks  a  placard,  bearing  the  words  "  I  blab,"  and  the 
quiet,  honorable  soul  wear  one  with  the  words,  "  I 
don't  blab." 


232  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

CHATS  WITH  GRUMBLERS. 

I. 

Many  years  ago,  in  company  with  my  wife,  I  made 
a  summer  drive  through  the  Canadas.  In  giving  that 
attention  to  my  horses  which  is  the  habit  of  prudent 
travellers,  I  visited  the  stable  morning  and  evening. 
I  think  it  was  the  first  night  after  we  crossed  over  at 
Niagara  that  I  said  to  the  hostler,  "  Suppose  some  one 
were  to  leave  you  a  hundred  thousand  dollars,  what 
would  you  do  ? " 

"  Well,  boss,  there  is  one  thing  I  can  tell  you ;  you 
would  never  ketch  me  workin'  any  more." 

Holding,  as  I  always  had,  that  work  is  the  warp  and 
woof  of  human  life  and  happiness,  the  hostler's  remark 
struck  me  as  curious ;  and  recalling  it  on  the  following 
evening,  I  asked  the  next  hostler  what  he  would  do  if 
he  had  a  hundred  thousand. 

"  I  'd  travel  all  over  creation  ;  but  as  for  work,  I  'd 
never  do  another  chore  as  long  as  I  lived." 

We  talked  it  over  while  riding  the  next  day,  and 
concluded  we  should  ask  every  hostler  during  the  trip 
and  make  a  record  of  the  answers. 

The  same  question  was  put  to  thirty-four  hostlers, 
and  all  gave  essentially  the  same  answer,  though  a  few 
said,  "  Of  course  I  should  want  something  to  do  when 
I  felt  like  it,  but  then  I  would  n't  work  regular." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  233 

I  was  a  member  of  a  school-board  some  years  after- 
ward, and  asked  one  of  the  lady  teachers  what  she 
would  do  if  she  had  a  hundred  thousand  dollars,  and 
her  reply  was,  "  I  would  go  to  Europe  and  live  in 
Paris." 

"  What  would  you  do  that  for  ? "  I  asked. 

"  Why,  I  should  go  for  the  same  reason  that  other 
folks  go,  —  to  see  the  sights." 

I  asked  the  same  question  of  fourteen  female  teach- 
ers and  six  male  teachers,  and  they  all  gave  about  the 
same  answer,  though  a  few  of  them  suggested  a  di- 
vision with  the  poor.  One  young  lady  said  she  would 
give  thirty  thousand  apiece  to  her  three  brothers,  and 
then  go  abroad  with  the  remaining  ten  thousand. 
Without  exception,  they  spoke  of  travel,  and  most  of 
them  of  life  in  Europe.  Not  one  of  them  spoke  in  fa- 
vor of  work,  but  most  of  them  spoke  of  escape  from 
work. 

As  regular  work  is  the  great  staple  of  happiness,  as 
work  is  the  regular  bread  and  meat  of  body  and  mind, 
while  recreation  is  but  the  sweetmeats,  all  this  condem- 
nation seems  a  strange  hallucination.  And  as  work  is 
absolutely  necessary,  it  is  the  greatest  misfortune  that 
there  should  exist  a  prejudice  against  it.  A  little 
philosophy,  a  broader  intelligence,  is  sure  to  cure  it. 
A  little  experience  at  nothing  to  do  has  generally  cured 
even  ignorant  people  of  such  folly.     Let  a  man  "loaf" 


234  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

for  a  month,  and,  if  he  is  well,  he  is  glad  enough  to  go 
back  to  his  work.  And  there  are  a  good  many  of  us 
who  can  look  deep  enougli  to  see  that  work  is  the  best 
of  good  things,  and  to  love  it  for  its  own  sake  and  for 
the  good  it  does  us.  Work,  like  food,  is  a  necessity  of 
our  life.  A  disgust  for  either  indicates  disease,  or 
same  unnatural  condition.  When  we  find  disgust  of 
food,  we  learn  generally  that  it  comes  of  excess.  In 
the  case  of  disgust  for  work,  we  think  it  generally 
comes  from  the  same  source. 

It  is  often  said  that  man  is  naturally  lazy.  Let 
every  one  speak  for  himself  I  know  the  statement  is 
not  true  of  myself  I  love  work.  I  like  a  day's  recrea- 
tion occasionally,  but  the  hours  begin  to  hang  heavy  in 
the  latter  part  of  the  day. 

Once  upon  a  time  my  mother  was  detained  in  a 
neighboring  town  by  a  deep  snow.  We  boys  were  fa- 
miliar with  the  function  of  eating,  but  we  knew  little 
or  nothing  of  cooking.  When  the  dark,  wild  night 
closed  in,  we  resolved  ourselves  into  a  committee  of 
ways  and  means,  and,  first  of  all,  proceeded  to  take  an 
account  of  stock.  The  bread  and  meat  stock  was  ex- 
hausted ;  we  found  three  pints  of  milk,  which  we  pro- 
ceeded at  once  to  drink.  A  further  search  developed 
the  fact  that  there  was  nothing  eatable  in  the  house 
except  three  pies,  one  stone  jar  of  cookies,  and  two  pots 
of  preserves.     We  knew  how  much  our  mother  loved 


FIVE  MINUTE  CHATS.  235 

US,  and  how  very  sorry  she  would  be  to  have  us  get 
hungry,  so  like  good  boys  we  proceeded  at  once  to  fill 
our  little  stomachs  with  these  articles  of  nourishment. 
We  then  crept  into  our  little  beds,  dreamed  of  our 
grandmothers,  I  presume,  —  though  I  have  no  dis- 
tinct recollection  of  the  character  of  my  dreams,  —  and 
when  we  awoke  in  the  morning,  there  came  upon  us 
again  a  deep  sense  of  our  mother's  love  and  anxiety,  and 
we  hastened  to  fill  ourselves  even  full  with  cookies  and 
preserves.  About  ten  o'clock  in  the  forenoon  we  got  to 
thinking  about  our  mother  again,  and  how  she  must 
feel  when  she  thought  of  her  darling  boys  all  deprived 
of  adequate  nourishment,  and  we  tackled  the  preserves, 
which  at  that  time  was  all  there  was  left.  In  the 
afternoon  we  called  a  council,  and  determined  upon 
some  griddle-cakes.  We  knew  that  griddle-cakes  were 
made  of  flour,  milk,  and  saleratus.  We  had  no  milk, 
but  there  was  a  little  flour  and  plenty  of  saleratus.  It 
was  uncertain  how  long  the  isolation  might  continue, 
and  we  thought  it  prudent  to  be  saving  of  the  flour,  but 
as  to  saleratus,  we  felt  at  liberty  to  use  it  freely.  Be- 
ing the  oldest  of  the  company,  I  rather  took  upon  my- 
self the  function  of  compounding  the  griddle-cakes,  and, 
with  a  view  to  economy  in  flour,  I  put  in  three  cups 
of  flour  and  two  of  saleratus..  You  ought  to  have  seen 
those  two  brothers  spit  griddle-cake.  Their  comments 
wounded  me.     And  even  our  mother,  who  knew  all 


236  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


y 


about  griddle-cakes,  tried  some  of  the  mixture  the  next 
day,  and  thought  them  a  failure. 

Upon  first  trying  the  griddle-cakes,  we  voted  to  re- 
turn to  the  preserves,  and  accordingly  we  then  and 
there  finished  them.  Then  there  was  nothing  in  the 
house  for  supper  but  griddle-cakes,  and  none  of  us 
seemed  fond  of  griddle-cakes.  We  went  to  bed  with- 
out supper,  and  were  very  sad  with  the  thought  that 
our  mother  would  weep  if  she  knew  that  her  darlings 
had  gone  to  bed  with  empty  stomachs.  Before  noon 
next  day  she  returned,  found  her  three  boys  and  her 
three  jars  empty,  tried  our  griddle-cakes,  expressed  an 
unfavorable  opinion,  and  at  once  prepared  some  food 
which  stayed  the  process  of  starvation. 

Now,  we  fed  our  stomachs  just  as  most  people  think 
they  would  like  to  feed  their  minds.  They  would  like 
to  feed  their  minds  on  sweetmeats ;  they  tliink  they 
would  like  to  be  amused  and  amused  and  amused,  — 
that  they  would  like  to  travel  and  travel,  and  see  the 
sights  and  see  the  sights. 

For  a  week  we  boys  were  sick  with  deranged  stom- 
achs. Feed  the  mind  on  cookies  and  preserves  even 
for  a  short  time,  weariness  and  nausea  are  sure  to  come 
on.  What  we  must  have  is  the  regular,  solid  bread 
and  meat  of  work.  To  be  left  to  inclination,  to  work 
"when  we  feel  like  it,"  is  demoralizing.  We  must 
have  the  balance-wheel  of  stated  duty  ;  then,  although 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  237 

we  occasionally  chafe  at  the  recurring  necessity,  we 
maintain  that  steady,  regular  flow  of  the  currents  of 
life  which  constitute  a  normal,  true,  and  happy  ex- 
istence. 

II 

Happiness  is  the  great  good.  Every  one  of  us  is 
seeking  it.  We  begin  on  waking  in  the  morning,  and 
keep  up  the  chase  till  we  lie  down  to  rest  at  night. 
Ah,  how  few  of  us  find  it !  That 's  the  sad  thing  about 
this  life. 

Let  us  go  on  next  Sabbath  morning  to  a  neighboring 
church.  It  is  the  most  fashionable  in  town,  and  is  pat- 
ronized by  our  rich  people.  The  audience  number  a 
thousand.  We  will  stand  where  we  can  watch  them 
all  as  they  enter.  How  many  of  these  faces  are  hap- 
py ?  The  face  tells  the  story.  A  happy  soul  always 
shines  out  through  the  face.  And  now,  looking  into 
all  these,  how  many  do  you  think  are  satisfied,  con- 
tented, and  happy  ?  A  hundred  ?  No  ?  Say  ten  ? 
No  ?  And  yet  these  are  what  are  called  the  "  favored 
few."  They  are  rich;  they  have  beautiful  homes, 
social  recognition;  they  are  surrounded  by  works  of 
art ;  servants  attend  upon  them ;  they  have,  in  brief, 
every  one  of  what  are  called  "  the  good  things  of  this 
world."  Wealth,  distinction,  art,  triumph,  all  fail,  and 
yet  the  glorious  heavens  spread  over  us,  and  flowers 


238  FJVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

bestrew  our  path.  Has  the  Creator  blundered  ?  Is 
our  life  a  mistake  ?  If  what  we  have  seen  in  these 
faces  is  the  best  outcome  of  life,  then  we  are  the  victims 
of  a  cheat,  and  we  play  the  hypocrite  when  we  kneel 
in  this  church  and  thank  God  for  life  and  its  blessings. 

Leaving  out  of  this  discussion  the  hope  of  a  better 
life,  I  may  say  that  happiness  comes  of  health  and 
philosophy.  Health  stands  first.  Health  is  funda- 
mental. Good  digestion  will  do  more  than  all  the 
wealth  and  honors  in  the  world.  By  philosophy  I 
mean  a  consciousness  that  the  secret  of  a  happy  life  is 
to  be  found  in  the  quiet,  regular  performance  of  the 
duties  which  lie  nearest  to  us.  Not  in  wealth  and 
honors,  but  in  numberless  and  nameless  contributions 
to  the  welfare  of  those  about  us  do  we  find  happiness. 
God  has  so  constituted  us  tliat  a  personal  attention  to 
the  wants  of  our  next-door  neighbor  gives  us  greater 
pleasure  than  sending  bags  of  gold  to  the  distant 
heathen.  The  good  Father  has  so  contrived  us  that 
justice  and  devotion  to  one's  family  and  neighbors 
give  more  satisfaction  and  happiness  than  the  most 
persistent  attempt  to  serve  the  five  hundred  millions 
of  the  people  of  Asia.  It  is  an  appreciation  of  this 
law  and  a  practical  recognition  of  its  truth  which  con- 
stitute the  philosophy  of  life. 

A  good  clergyman  of  my  acquaintance  says  that 
nothing  disgusts  him  more  than  to   see  a  hifalutin' 


FIVE^MINUTE  CHATS.  239 

philanthropist  neglecting  everything  about  him,  and 
standing  on  Pisgah's  heights,  load  his  squirt-gun  and 
proceed  to  fire  his  love  over  all  the  rest  of  creation. 


What  are  the  causes  of  nervousness  among  us  ? 

First.   Our  climate  fosters  sensibility. 

Second.  "We  work  too  hard  and  play  too  little. 

Third.  We  bolt  our  food ;  then  come  indigestion  and 
nervousness. 

Fourth.  Our  stoves  and  furnaces  so  poison  the  air 
we  breathe,  that  the  brain  and  nerves  become  feverish. 

Fifth.  And  I  don't  know  but  governing  ourselves  will 
turn  out  to  be  aji  exhausting  business.  "  Uneasy  lies 
the  head  that  wears  a  crown."  And  I  am  afraid  that 
our  all  being  sovereigns  is  one  reason  for  the  sad  de- 
rangement of  our  brains  and  nerves. 


THE  INSANE. 

Within  a  hundred  years  the  insane  were  chained  to 
the  stone  floor  of  a  cell,  and  abandoned  to  filth  and 
darkness.  The  good  and  great  Pinel  denied  that  they 
were  "  possessed  of  the  Devil,"  and  declared  that  they 
were  sick,  needing  treatment,  sympathy,  and  nursing, 
like  other  sick  people.     From  the  days  of  this  hero,  the 


240  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

treatment  of  the  insane  has  been  more  reasonable  and 
merciful,  but  still  there  lingers  among  men  the  notion 
that  the  insane  are  possessed  of  the  Devil.  If  the  mala- 
dy is  in  the  liver,  the  patient's  friends  are  all  sympathy 
and  attention.  If  in  the  eye,  they  watch  over  him  and 
protect  him  from  all  harm.  But  if  the  trouble  is  in 
the  brain,  they  drag  him  to  a  cell  within  gloomy  walls, 
and  leave  him  to  the  routine  and  indifference  of  stran- 
gers. 

Did  you  read  the  report  of  the  legislative  committee 
in  Vermont  ?  It  was  published  in  the  newspapers  the 
other  day.  Only  the  man  in  whose  composition  the 
heart  was  left  out  could  read  that  report  without  pain- 
ful emotions.  No  citizen  of  Vermont  can  read  it  with- 
out humiliation  and  shame.  The  hundred  wretched 
victims  in  cells  below  ground  were  treated,  so  far  as  we 
can  judge,  as  brutally  as  such  unhappy  creatures  were 
in  the  dark  ages.  I  doubt  if  there  is  a  public  asylum 
for  the  insane  in  the  country  which  woidd  be  permitted 
to  stand  if  the  public  knew  altogether  the  management 
of  the  inmates.  Even  where  it  is  best,  there  remains 
such  barbarism  and  brutality,  that,  were  aU  the  facts 
known,  a  just-minded  public  would  rush  to  the  rescue. 

Insane  men  are  sick  men,  and  need,  more  than  any 
other  class  of  sick  men,  skilful  treatment,  sympathy, 
and  gentle,  patient  nursing.  A  dozen  asylums  scattered 
here  and  there  throughout  New  England,  under  the  man- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  241 

agement  of  scientific,  humane  men,  would  not  only  prove 
a  godsend  to  the  insane,  but  an  immensely  profitable 
investment. 


THE  INSANE  AT  GHEEL. 

The  conviction  is  rapidly  deepening,  that  the  treat- 
ment of  the  insane,  even  in  our  better  asylums,  is 
simply  barbarous.  One  of  the  most  intelligent  citizens 
of  New  England  was  an  inmate  during  several  months 
of  our  largest  insane  asylum.  In  a  recent  conversa- 
tion, he  said  to  me,  "  The  treatment  in  that  asylum, 
which  I  really  suppose  is  as  good  as  any  in  the  coun- 
try, consists  in  keeping  the  patients  inside  of  the 
walls.  It  is  to  all  intents  and  purposes  not  unlike  the 
management  of  the  farmer  with  his  viciously  inclined 
cattle.  He  makes  the  fence  so  high  tliat  they  cannot 
jump  out.  Nothing  whatever  is  done  to  cure  them. 
They  have  food  (generally  bad  food),  and  a  bed  (mostly 
in  ill-ventilated  dormitories),  but  for  the  most  part 
nothing  whatever  is  done  for  them  by  way  of  medicine, 
exercise,  bathing,  frictions,  amusements,  social  atten- 
tions, or  other  hygienic,  or  health-producing  measures." 

They  are  simply  shut  up,  and  furnished  with  food 
and  beds.  Nothing  more  wretched,  nothing  more  de- 
structive of  health,  than  the  average  management  of 
the  insane  in  our  institutions,  can  be  conceived.  Sen- 
11 


242  FIVE -MINUTE  CHATS. 

sitive  women  are  numerous  among  these  unhappy- 
victims.  Accustomed  to  the  most  tender  and  gentle 
treatment,  to  the  fond  endearments  of  loving  friends, 
such  a  woman — a  mother,  if  you  please  —  is  taken  away 
from  her  little  ones  and  consigned  to  cell  No.  133,  and 
is  known  in  many  institutions,  not  as  Mrs.  Mary  How- 
ard, but  as  No.  133.  This  weary,  exhausted,  sensitive 
creature,  with  hyper-susceptibility  to  all  surrounding 
influences,  is  locked  up  in  133  during  the  night  and  is 
let  out  into  a  crowd  of  mad  people  during  the  day. 
Thousands  of  such  wretched,  lonely,  baffled,  hopeless 
creatures  are  vainly  looking  and  longing  for  some  one 
to  come  and  take  them  away  into  the  light  and  love 
of  their  homes. 

Numerous  books  and  pamphlets  have  recently  ap- 
peared, exposing  the  darkness,  ignorance,  and  brutality 
of  our  insane  asylums.  The  day  is  hastening  when 
the  present  barbarism  shall  give  place  to  that  discrim- 
ination, philosophical  study,  and  all  that  social,  loving 
treatment  which  has  found  its  way  into  the  manage- 
ment of  diseases  in  other  parts  of  our  bodies. 

In  a  work  by  M.  Jules  Duval,  an  eminent  French 
physician,  under  the  title  "  A  Study  on  the  Best  Mode 
of  Assistance  and  Treatment  in  Mental  Maladies,"  the 
author  gives  a  highly  interesting  description  of  that 
singular  colony  at  Gheel,  in  Belgium,  whose  success,  in 
the  absence  of  all  restraint  and  compulsion,  has  done 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  243 

SO  much  to  ameliorate  tlie  condition  of  the  insane 
throughout  Europe. 

It  is  said  to  have  been  planted  early  in  the  Middle 
Ages,  by  force  of  a  superstition  which  accorded  miracu- 
lous powers  in  curing  the  insane  to  the  tomb  of  an 
Irish  princess,  St.  Dymphne,  which  was  located  there. 

The  earliest  authentic  records  bear  date  of  1676,  at 
which  time  it  appears  that  the  ordinary  system  of  severe 
restraint  prevailed.  A  century  later,  milder  measures 
had  obtained,  and  those  in  charge  of  the  lunatics 
are  rebuked  for  letting  them  go  free  to  such  a  degree 
that  one  "  could  not  distinguish  between  a  fool  and  a 
sane  person ! "  To  which  each  one  replied,  "  My  fool  is 
not  wicked,  —  he  harms  no  one  ;  indeed,  he  is  the  best 
child  in  the  world." 

In  1795  Belgium  was  conquered  by  France,  and  the 
Prefect  of  the  Department,  impressed  with  the  superior- 
ity of  the  success  achieved  at  Gheel,  sent  thither  the 
insane  who  were  confined  at  Brussels  in  narrow  quarters 
and  amidst  privations  which  were  sufficient  of  them- 
selves to  render  the  patients  incurable.  The  authorities 
of  other  towns  followed  this  example,  public  attention 
was  attracted  to  the  colony,  and  in  1850  it  was  placed 
under  governmental  inspection,  and  medical  men  ap- 
pointed in  charge  of  it. 

It  was  in  1856  that  M.  Duval  visited  Gheel,  and  the 
next  year  an  article  from  his  pen  appeared  in  the  "  Eevue 


244  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

des  Deux  Mondes,"  which  excited  great  interest,  and  in 
1860  he  published  his  book  What  follows  is  condensed 
from  an  article  in  a  late  English  journal :  — 

"  Mad  people  of  all  sorts  are  admitted  at  Gheel,  except 
those  who  are  afflicted  with  a  mania  for  murder,  incen- 
diaries, and  other  dangerous  subjects.  Persons  of  all 
ages,  creeds,  nations,  and  conditions  are  received,  and 
secure  equal  care.  They  are  taken  into  families,  —  two 
or  three,  but  never  more,  into  the  same  family.  The 
sleeping  arrangements,  the  diet,  and  the  labor  are  the 
same  as  that  of  the  family. 

"The  strictest  seclusion  is  observed  in  most  asylums, 
except  at  fixed  hours,  and  partly  on  the  ground  that 
sudden  and  startling  visits  retard  the  recovery  of  the 
patients ;  but  here,  amid  the  ordinary  customs  of  do- 
mestic life,  the  appearance  of  friends  or  strangers  has 
nothing  unusual,  nothing  that  need  startle  the  patient, 
who  may  not  even  be  aware  that  the  visitors  take  any 
particular  notice  of  him.  Thus  absent  relations  need 
entertain  no  anxiety  as  to  the  real  treatment  and  con- 
dition of  those  they  love,  —  they  can  go  and  send  at  all 
hours  and  verify  for  themselves. 

"  The  houses  are  generally  neat  and  clean ;  some  of 
them  would  bear  comparison  with  the  most  scrupu- 
lously kept  wards  of  a  hospital.  The  patient  has  ex- 
clusive possession  of  a  room,  which  varies  in  size  ac- 
cording to  the  means  of  the  householder,  but  is  always 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  245 

airy,  whitewashed,  cleanly,  and  floored  with  tiles  or 
boards.  Often  the  patient  ornaments  it  after  his  own 
ideas  of  what  is  elegant,  —  lays  down  carpets  and  ar- 
ranges casts  and  pictures.  The  smallest  cells  resemble 
monkish  cells  in  their  holy  simj^licity. 

"The  healthful  and  even  plump  appearance  of  the 
harmless  mad  people  who  are  seen  in  the  streets  shows 
that  they  find  good  nourishment  in  the  common  diet 
of  rye  bread,  vegetables,  milk,  and  pork.  Dressed  like 
their  sane  neighbors,  the  patients  are  not  conspicuous 
in  any  crowd,  unless  they  misbehave. 

"  Liberty  is  the  first  article  of  the  code  practised  at 
Gheel ;  the  second  is  labor.  The  insane  are  never  com- 
pelled to  work,  but  every  means  are  taken  to  persuade 
them  to  join  in  the  occupations  around  them,  and  large 
numbers  soon  cease  to  like  the  distinction  of  idleness. 
Half  and  sometimes  two  thirds  are  usefully  employed. 
In  the  interior  of  the  households,  women,  young  girls 
and  old,  participate  with  the  children  and  servants  in 
domestic  work.  Artisans,  such  as  tailors,  shoemakers, 
carpenters,  bakers,  blacksmiths,  etc.,  find  their  place  in 
the  local  industry  of  the  town.  One  excellent  cabinet- 
maker lived  there  for  five-and-twenty  years,  exercising 
his  trade  successfully,  and  reasoning  soundly  on  all  sub- 
jects, except  that  he  af&rmed  that  every  night  the  Devil 
entered  his  body  through  his  heels.  Women  trained  to 
any  manual  art,  dress-making,  embroidery,  etc.,  find  re- 


246  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

munerative  occupation  in  the  town.  Patients  born  and 
bred  in  the  country  are  employed  on  the  fields  and 
gardens,  and  care  is  taken  to  place  those  who  have  been 
laborers  under  the  charge  of  farmers.  Fits  of  fury,  if 
only  periodical,  find  out-door  labor  a  wholesome  dis- 
cipline, which  soon  tends  to  prevent  their  recurrence. 

"In  the  Eussian  asylums,  which  are  organized  on 
military  principles,  labor  becomes  a  mechanical  habit ; 
it  is  performed  in  mere  obedience  to  authority,  and  pro- 
duces little  effect  on  the  patient.  At  Gheel,  it  is  real 
exertion  undertaken  for  a  practical  end;  the  field 
which  is  ploughed,  the  garden  which  is  sown,  both 
obviously  conduce  to  the  support  of  the  family  and 
neighbors,  and  the  laborer  feels  himself  useful,  —  a  man 
among  men.  For  women,  also,  the  active  toil  of  the 
household,  and  such  out-of-door  labor  as  they  are  capa- 
ble of  performing,  is  far  preferable  to  the  eternal  sewing 
pursued  in  some  establishments.  This  free-and-easy 
existence  is  the  happiest  possible  to  men  and  women  so 
cruelly  afflicted,  and,  wonderful  to  say,  accidents  are 
few  in  number  and  slight  in  kind.  Quarrels  are  rare, 
violent  and  voluntary  deaths  are  almost  unknown ;  only 
one  occurred  in  1850,  another  in  1851.  Only  four  or 
five  escapes  are  made  in  a  year,  —  why  should  the  in- 
sane fly  in  search  of  a  freedom  which  no  one  denies 
them  ?  Nevertheless,  systematic  measures  are  always 
taken  to  insure  the  recapture  of  any  wanderers.     If  one 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  ^A'J 

is  found  afflicted  with  an  inveterate  tendency  to  vnn 
away,  his  feet  are  so  hampered  by  a  short  chain  as  to 
render  a  long  march  impossible,  while  it  does  not  pre- 
vent his  getting  about  town  at  his  own  free  will. 

"  Music  is  pursued  by  the  community  at  large,  and  a 
poor  madman,  nicknamed  Grand  Colbert,  being  a  skilled 
fiddler,  founded  the  choral  society  of  Gheel.  The  insane 
have  their  church,  where  they  join  in  all  the  services, 
walk  in  the  processions,  conduct  themselves  with  pro- 
priety, and  are  admitted  to  the  sacraments  if  their  men- 
tal condition  allows  them  to  comprehend  their  meaning, 
and  it  is  found  that  participation  in  the  spiritual  life 
of  their  fellow-Christians  has  a  very  healthful  and  calm- 
ing effect  on  their  minds." 

Of  course  a  raving  maniac,  who  has  passed  hopelessly 
beyond  any  self-government,  is  not  fit  for  Gheel ;  but 
all  our  French  and  English  physicians  now  agree  in 
this,  that  careful  employment  of  moral  and  hygienic 
means  in  the  early  stages  of  insanity  prevents,  in  in- 
numerable cases,  its  further  development. 


Insanity  is  often  hereditary.  Whatever  doubt  may 
be  entertained  about  the  transmission  of  other  maladies, 
none  whatever  can  be  admitted  with  reference  to  insan- 
ity, epilepsy,  and  consumption,  I  know  a  family  resid- 
ing in  the  country  just  out  of  Boston  with  this  history. 
The  grandfather  died  in  an  insane  asylum  after  twenty- 


248  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

seven  years  of  wretched  helplessness.  The  father  was 
the  subject  of  confinement  and  treatment  for  twenty- 
four  years  before  his  death.  The  present  head  of  the 
family  is  about  forty  years  old,  and  his  friends  notice  in- 
dications which  make  them  unhappy.  This  gentleman 
is  the  father  of  a  large  family  of  children,  his  wife  being 
of  an  intensely  nervous  temperament.  One  clear  idea 
and  a  little  conscience,  and  such  people  would  as  soon 
commit  the  crime  of  murder  as  to  bring  a  family  of  chil- 
dren into  the  world. 


SOOTHING  INTLUENCE  OF  CHILDREN. 

A  POPULAR  magazine,  in  speaking  of  the  insane  at 
Gheel,  relates  the  following  touching  incident :  — 

"  Once,  as  the  mother  of  the  house  sat  at  work  with 
her  babe  upon  her  knee,  a  maniac  darted  upon  her 
with  a  pair  of  shears  to  force  his  way  out.  As  she 
had  been  especially  charged  to  keep  him  in  during  this 
fit,  the  woman  rose  up  quietly,  and  presented  her  child 
as  a  shield ;  he  gradually  retreated  till  he  sunk  into 
a  chair  at  the  back  of  the  room;  then  the  mother 
dropped  the  child  into  his  arras,  and  left  it  screaming 
to  his  care.  After  she  had  escaped  and  turned  the  key, 
through  the  keyhole  she  watched  the  patient  tr}'ing  to 
comfort  the  babe.  Frequently  the  coming  in  of  a  play- 
ful child  restores  peace  to  the  troubled  soul,  and  so 
prevents  the  dreaded  paroxysm  of  the  disease." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  249 


ABOUT  MAD  DOGS. 

HYDROPHOBIxV    OR    BABIES. 

To-day  there  is  no  douLt  in  the  minds  of  scientific 
men  who  have  carefully  investigated  this  malady  that 
rabies  sometimes  originates  spontaneously,  A  great 
majority  of  cases  are  traceable  to  the  bite  of  an  affected 
animal,  but  that  it  occurs  where  such  infection  is 
impossible  must  now  be  conceded. 

Its  appearance  at  long  intervals  in  isolated  countries, 
in  farm-dogs  quite  separated  from  the  world,  and  in 
lap-dogs  which  never  leave  observation,  long  since 
suggested  the  spontaneous  origin  of  the  disease.  For 
instance,  it  has  appeared  in  Algeria,  an  isolated  coun- 
try, and  then  disappeared  for  many  years.  Upon  its 
reappearance  there  would  occur  a  single  case  only,  or 
it  would  appear  simultaneously  in  various  parts  of  the 
country.  It  is  simply  impossible  that  rabies,  after  an 
absence  of  forty  years  from  an  isolated  country,  should 
reappear,  if  we  assume  that  the  disease  originates  only 
in  the  bite  of  a  rabid  animal. 

Tardieu  cites  a  case  of  rabies  in  a  cat  produced  by 
taking  away  her  kittens,  and  another  case  in  which 
the  disease  was  induced  by  a  burn. 

Climate  has  its  influence.  The  malady  is  rare  in 
extreme  latitudes.  It  appears  almost  exclusively  in 
11* 


250  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  temperate  zone,  and  principally  during  the  cool 
season.  About  six  times  as  many  cases  occur  in  the 
spring  months  and  in  the  autumn  months  as  in  the 
summer.  During  the  winter  season  tliere  are  about 
three  times  as  many  cases  as  during  the  summer  sea- 
son. It  is  in  the  cold  season  that  a  rabid  animal  is 
most  likely  to  bite.  In  those  countries  where  dogs 
abound,  and  suffer  most  from  hunger  and  thirst,  as 
in  Turkey,  Syria,  Egypt,  and  Africa,  rabies  is  less  fre- 
quent than  in  those  countries  where  dogs  are  better 
cared  for. 

The  evidence  from  every  country  where  rabies  has 
been  systematically  studied  proves  that  the  female 
dog  is  quite  as  likely  to  suffer  from  the  disease  as 
the  male. 

The  disease  does  not  begin  with  fits  of  fury.  Tlie 
dog  is  at  first  very  quiet,  though  even  in  this  stage 
its  saliva  is  poisonous.  The  danger  is  not  now  from 
its  biting,  but  from  its  licking  your  face  and  hands. 
As  the  disease  progresses,  the  dog  becomes  fidgety, 
prowls  about,  smells,  and  scratches.  It  snaps  at  every- 
thing.    It  has  a  gloomy  and  ferocious  aspect. 

Up  to  this  time  it  is  obedient  to  its  master.  It 
seems  to  be  even  more  affectionate  than  usual,  and 
shows  it  by  its  desire  to  lick  its  master's  hands  and 
face.  And  indeed  this  wonderful  creature,  so  com- 
j)letely  dominated  by  the  spirit  of  devotion,  continues 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  251 

perhaps  in  a  majority  of  cases  of  rabies  to  obey  its 
master  to  tlie  very  last  hour. 

The  mad  dog  has  not  the  least  dread  of  water.  It 
is  indeed  strange  that  this  notion  has  got  afloat.  It 
constantly  tries  to  slake  its  thirst  as  long  as  it  can 
swallow,  and  even  long  after  this  it  continues  to  plunge 
its  face  into  the  water  and  gulp  at  it.  In  the  early 
stages  of  the  disease  it  continues  to  take  food,  and 
sometimes  eats  with  great  voracity. 

When  the  desire  to  bite  is  developed,  it  first  attacks 
inert  substances,  such  as  wood,  leather,  its  chain,  car- 
pet, hair,  coal,  earth,  and  accumulates  in  its  stomach 
the  remains  of  the  substances  it  tears  with  its  teeth. 

A  mad  dog  has  a  dry  mouth.  The  common  notion 
that  it  foams  or  froths  at  the  mouth  is  in  the  majority 
of  cases  an  error.  The  voice  is  always  changed.  It 
barks  much,  and  the  sound  is  husky  and  jerking. 

The  sensibility  of  the  animal  is  curiously  blunted. 
It  emits  no  cry  of  pain  when  it  is  struck,  wounded, 
or  burned.  It  will  sometimes  wound  itself  severely 
with  its  teeth,  while  the  poor  creature,  still  faithful  in 
death,  will  carefully  avoid  wounding  his  master  or 
otlier  members  of  the  family. 

The  mad  dog  is  always  greatly  enraged  at  the  sight 
of  another  dog.  When  the  ferocious  stage  gains  the 
ascendency,  it  flees  from  home,  and  after  two  or  three 
days'  wandering,  during  which  time  it  tries  to  gratify 


252  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

its  mad  fancies  on  all  tlie  living  creatures  it  has  met, 
it  often  in  its  last  moments  crawls  back  to  its  master 
to  die.  At  other  times  it  escapes  in  the  night,  and 
after  doing  much  damage  returns  in  the  morning.  The 
distance  a  mad  dog  will  travel  even  in  one  night  is 
often  astonishing.  The  paroxysms  of  fury  are  followed 
by  periods  of  calm,  during  which  the  appearance  of 
the  creature  is  liable  to  mislead  the  observer. 

A  mad  dog  attacks  other  creatures  rather  than  man. 
When  at  length  the  poor  creature  is  exhausted,  it  stag- 
gers along,  its  taO.  and  head  near  the  ground,  its  eyes 
wandering,  and  frequently  squinting,  its  mouth  open, 
with  a  bluish-colored  tongue  soiled  with  dirt  protrud- 
ing. But  even  in  these  last  moments  the  terrible  desire 
to  bite  continues.  Although  it  may  not  have  the 
strength  to  turn  aside  to  attack,  it  will  continue  up 
to  the  moment  of  complete  paralysis  and  suffocation 
to  bite  every  living  thing  tliat  comes  in  its  way. 

The  voice  of  the  rabid  dog  is  one  of  the  most  reliable 
signs  of  the  malady.  "  The  tone  is  hoarse,  altered  in 
timbre,  indistinct,  and  lower  in  pitch.  A  preUminary 
bark  is  made  in  a  somewhat  elevated  tone.  This  is 
immediately  succeeded  by  five,  six,  or  eight  decreasing 
howls,  which  appear  to  come  from  the  depths  of  the 
throat,  the  jaws  not  coming  together  and  closing  the 
mouth  during  each  emission,  as  in  the  healthy  bark." 

Bouley  gives  an  account  of  two  A'et«rinary  students 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  253 

who  were  returning  to  the  Alfort  school  one  night  and 
heard  the  peculiar  howl  of  a  rabid  dog  proceeding  from 
a  house  in  Charenton.  They  awakened  the  proprietor 
of  the  house,  and  w^arned  him  of  his  danger.  He  con- 
sented to  have  his  watch-dog  chained  for  the  remainder 
of  the  night,  and  that  he  should  be  removed  to  Alfort 
the  next  morning.  Mr.  Bouley  certified  that  the  dog 
was  mad;  and  as  soon  as  it  was  placed  in  the  cage 
for  sick  dogs,  the  symptoms  of  the  disease  became 
painfully  evident.  Its  master  could  hardly  believe 
that  the  creature  he  held  in  his  hand,  docile  and  obe- 
dient, could  be  laboring  under  the  dreadful  disease. 
The  dog  was  very  large  and  powerful ;  and  but  for  the 
careful  attention  of  the  students,  whose  ears  had  be- 
come accustomed  to  the  peculiar  voice  of  the  rabid 
dog  in  their  veterinary  hospital,  the  animal  would  in 
all  probability  have  got  loose  and  done  great  damage. 

A  characteristic  sign  is  the  excitement  produced  by 
the  presence  of  another  dog.  The  rabid  dog  may  be 
perfectly  docile  in  the  society  of  its  master  and  the 
children  of  the  family ;  but  let  another  dog  appear, 
and  the  quiet  creature,  which  may  at  the  moment  be 
patiently  submitting  to  the  caresses  of  the  children, 
will  fly  at  the  other  dog  with  determined  fury.  It  is 
a  mysterious  fact  that,  if  the  rabid  animal  be  a  horse 
or  sheep,  or  any  other  creature,  the  presence  of  a 
dog  will   produce  this  strange   exhibition.     The  same 


254  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

curious  phenomenon  has  been  obsei'ved  in  human 
patients. 

A  rabid  dog  remains  ordinarily  quiet,  though  ner- 
vous, until  some  external  object  excites  it.  Therefore, 
•whenever  a  dog  usually  quiet  suddenly  becomes  aggres- 
sive toward  another  dog,  it  is  wise  to  be  on  your  guard. 
It  is  veiy  remarkable  that  other  dogs  —  even  fighting 
dogs  —  lose  their  courage  in  the  presence  of  a  rabid 
dog,  and  crouch  away  in  the  corner,  trembling  with 
fear.  The  above  is  a  description  of  what  is  known  as 
"  furious  rabies."  About  three  fourths  of  the  cases  of 
rabies  are  of  this  description. 

There  are  two  other  varieties,  known  as  "  dumb 
madness "  and  "  tranquil  madness."  Dumb  madness 
takes  its  name  from  the  inability  of  the  sufferer  to 
produce  the  characteristic  bark  or  howl  of  rabies.  Its 
lower  jaw  falls  down,  and  the  poor  creature  cannot 
close  its  mouth.  It  is  unable  to  eat  or  drink,  but 
wiU  thrust  its  face  into  a  vessel  of  water  in  vain 
efforts  to  obtain  relief  until  the  approach  of  death. 
The  friends  of  such  dogs  often  imagine  that  their 
favorite  has  something  in  its  mouth  or  throat,  and 
thrust  in  their  fingers  to  find  the  cause.  Then,  if 
there  is  an  abrasion,  or  the  skin  of  the  hand  is 
wounded  on  the  teeth,  the  most  horrible  malady  may 
be  produced.  In  tranquil  rabies  the  dog  lies  rolled 
up,  and  pays  no  attention  to  movements  or  noises  that 
may  be  going  on  about  it. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  255 

Of  animals  bitten  by  mad  dogs,  only  a  small  pro- 
portion have  the  disease.  Lafosse  states,  that  out 
of  sixty  animals  thus  bitten,  twenty-one  died.  Ee- 
nault  testifies  that  out  of  two  hundred  and  forty-four 
dogs,  seventy-four  become  rabid.  Hertwig  says  out 
of  one  hundred  and  thirty-seven  dogs,  sixteen  died. 
Out  of  one  hundred  and  twenty-seven  sheep,  fifty-one 
became  rabid.  Lafosse  entertains  the  opinion  that 
the  malady  is  transferred  in  from  one  third  to  one 
eighth  of  the  cases. 

Eenault  records  tliat  out  of  two  hundred  and  fifty- 
four  bitten,  one  hundred  and  sixty-four  became  hydro- 
phobic. The  bite  of  a  rabid  wolf  seems  peculiarly 
malignant.  Dr.  Camescasse  of  Turkey  gives  the  ease 
of  forty-seven  persons  bitten  by  a  rabid  wolf,  forty- 
five  of  whom  perished. 

Tardieu  mentions  that  out  of  ninety-nine  persons 
bitten  by  rabid  animals  other  than  wolves,  forty-one 
were  taken  with  hydrophobia.  A  report  from  France 
informs  us  that  six  out  of  ten  generally  died  from 
hydrophobia.  Aiken  states  that  out  of  one  hundred 
and  fifty-three  persons  bitten  by  rabid  dogs  ninety-four 
perished.  Watson  says  that  of  fifteen  persons  bitten 
by  a  mad  dog  only  three  succumbed.  John  Hunter 
knew  an  instance  in  which  twenty-one  were  bitten, 
and  but  one  died.  He  estimates  the  mortality  in 
those  bitten  as   only  five  per  cent.     Vaughan   relates 


256  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

an  instance  in  wliich  twenty  or  thirty  persons  were 
bitten,  and  only  one  perished.  Sully  speaks  of  four 
persons  and  twelve  dogs  bitten  by  the  same  rabid  dog. 
The  dogs  all  perished,  and  the  people  escaped. 

I  knew  myself  a  case  similar  to  this  mentioned  by 
Sully.  In  1843,  in  Central  New  York,  a  rabid  cur 
bit  one  horse  and  three  dogs,  all  of  which  died  from 
rabies.  The  dog  bit  likewise  five  persons,  one  of 
whom,  a  man  much  intoxicated  at  the  time,  was  ter- 
ribly lacerated  in  one  arm.  Not  one  of  the  persons 
suffered  the  dreaded  malady. 

The  period  which  elapses  between  the  bite  and  the 
development  of  the  disease  varies  in  the  dog  from  the 
seventh  to  the  fifteenth  day,  but  is  usually  from  four 
to  ten  weeks.  In  the  cat  the  period  of  incubation  is 
from  two  to  four  weeks.  In  the  horse,  from  two  to 
eight  weeks.  In  the  ox,  from  one  to  twelve  weeks. 
In  man  the  period  of  incubation  is  from  fifteen  to  two 
hundred  and  fifty  days,  the  average  period  being  from 
four  to  seven  weeks.  According  to  Tardieu,  in  twenty- 
six  cases  it  was  less  than  a  month  ;  in  ninety-three 
cases  it  was  from  one  to  three  months ;  in  nineteen 
cases,  from  three  to  six  months ;  and  in  nine  cases, 
from  six  to  twelve  months.  Occasionally,  well-authen- 
ticated cases  have  been  recorded  in  which  the  dreaded 
malady  has  been  developed  several  years  after  the 
bite. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  257 

Fleming,  to  whose  excellent  work  I  am  greatly 
indebted,  gives  many  figures,  but  they  sustain  the 
general  teachings  of  the  statistics  already  given. 

Professor  Pillwax  of  Vienna  reported  that  during 
1862,  when  rabies  prevailed  in  Vienna  as  an  epizooty, 
five  hundred  and  fifty-two  mad  dogs  were  brought  to 
the  veterinary  institute  for  examination,  and  it  was 
found  that  of  the  whole  number  only  thirty-two  were 
really  mad,  though  a  large  majority  of  them  were 
queer  and  had  bitten  people. 

The  Professor  says  that  since  1848  he  has  examined 
at  the  institute  in  Vienna  from  three  hundred  to  four 
hundred  dogs  annually  which  had  bitten  people,  and 
were  supposed  to  be  mad.  The  number  of  these  ani- 
mals amounts  to  more  than  five  thousand,  but  not  one 
of  the  persons  bitten  by  them  has  had  hydrophobia. 

There  are  several  common  diseases  among  dogs  that 
are  sometimes  mistaken  for  rabies.  Epilepsy,  in  which 
there  are  sudden  fits,  foaming  at  the  mouth,  short 
cries  of  distress,  lying  on  the  ground  and  struggling, 
is  most  common.  In  true  rabies  there  is  never  any- 
thing like  tliis,  —  no  loss  of  consciousness,  no  convul- 
sive struggles  on  the  ground,  and  meaningless  champ- 
ings of  the  jaw. 

Spasmodic  colic  produces  severe  pain  and  such  irri- 
tability as  to  give  a  disposition  to  bite,  but  the  animal 


258  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

never  barks  or  howls,  as  in  rabies,  and  the  symptoms 
are  intermittent. 

There  is  another  disease,  known  as  the  distemper, 
often  confounded  with  rabies.  In  this  there  is  dis- 
charge from  the  nose  and  eyes  similar  to  that  in 
rabies,  and  it  sometimes  results  in  a  paralysis  of  the 
hind  legs.  But  otherwise,  there  is  a  wide  difference 
between  the  two  maladies.  The  distemper  commences 
with  sneezing  and  cough,  then  comes  a  thin  and 
watery  discharge  from  the  nose  and  eyes,  which  soon 
changes  to  pus.  The  disposition  to  rove,  which  is  so 
marked  a  characteristic  of  rabies,  is  entirely  absent  in 
this  distemper,  while  there  is  no  irritabihty  or  desire 
to  bite. 


Hydrophobia.  —  If  you  are  bitten  by  a  mad  dog,  in- 
stantly press  the  bitten  part  with  your  hand  as  hard  as 
possible.  This  will  arrest  circulation  and  absorption. 
Cry  out  for  a  red-hot  iron.  Push  it  into  the  puncture 
made  by  the  tooth.  This,  if  thoroughly  done,  will  be 
sure  to  destroy  the  virus.  If  hydrophobia  be  developed, 
a  hot  vapor  bath  is  undoubtedly  the  best  remedy.  The 
patient  must  be  kept  in  it  until  he  is  relieved  of  all  the 
ner\^ous  symptoms. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  259 


A   CHAT   WITH    WORKINGMEN. 

In  a  New  England  town  there  is  a  manufactory  of 
furniture.  The  proprietor  began  five  years  ago  witli 
a  capital  of  fifty  thousand  dollars.  This  fortune  was 
inherited  from  his  father.  He  employs,  directly  and 
indirectly,  about  four  hundred  workmen.  Recently, 
in  taking  account  of  the  situation,  he  found  that,  with 
some  advance  in  his  real  estate,  his  fifty  thousand 
liad  grown  into  one  hundred  thousand  dollars.  He 
had  done  a  good  deal  of  anxious  contriving  and  hard 
work,  but  found  that  in  a  single  five  years  he  had 
doubled  his  riches.  The  men  had  worked  hard  like- 
wise, and  found  that  at  the  end  of  the  five  years  tliey 
were  just  where  they  were  at  the  beginning.  They 
were  older ;  they  had  more  children,  but  no  more 
dollars. 

These  poor,  hard-working  men  held  a  meeting  in 
the  town  hall  to  talk  over  their  circumstances  and 
prospects.  Many  passionate  speeches  were  made.  One 
old  man,  who  had  grown  gray  in  the  service,  and  was 
looking  forward  to  an  old  age  of  poverty  and  suffer- 
ing, cried  out  in  a  fierce  voice,  "  What 's  to  become  of 
me  ?  When  I  break  down,  who  will  feed  me  ?  where 
shall  I  sleep  ?  God  knows,  if  anything  were  to  hap- 
pen to  me  to-morrow,  I  should  have  to  go  to  the  poor- 


260  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

liouse.  And  yet  I  have  worked  every  day  for  nearly 
fifty  years.  I  have  never  been  to  Saratoga;  I  have 
never  gone  away  for  recreation,  but  have  worked  like 
a  slave.  Since  this  factory  began,  five  years  ago,  I 
have  not  lost  a  day.  Where  has  all  the  money  I 
have  earned  gone  ?  I  have  just  fifteen  cents  in  my 
pocket  to-night,  and  it 's  all  I  have  in  the  world. 
"Where  have  all  my  earnings  gone  ?  I  need  n't  tell 
you.  They  have  all  gone  just  where  yours  have  all 
gone,  —  into  the  pockets  of  this  one  man.  He  rolls 
in  wealth  ;  we  starve.  What  right  has  he  to  my  earn- 
ings ?  AVhat  right  has  he  to  your  earnings  ?  He  is 
a  millionnaire  !  Where  did  he  get  all  his  money  ? 
He  got  it  out  of  my  sweat  and  out  of  your  sweat. 
Are  we  slaves  ?  Does  this  man  o^vn  us  ?  These 
cursed  capitalists  are  thieves  and  robbers,  and  I  warn 
'em  to  look  out.  Their  day  of  reckoning  is  about 
come." 

The  speaker  sat  down  amidst  gi'eat  excitement.  At 
this  moment  a  quiet  man  rose  in  the  comer  and  asked 
permission  to  speak.  To  a  large  part  of  the  audience 
it  was  a  surprise.  The  proprietor  himseK  it  was  who 
was  asking  permission  to  speak.  He  began  with, 
"  Mr.  Chairman,  is  this  a  free  meeting  ?  May  I  say 
a  few  words  ?  " 

"  If  there  is  no  objection,  the  gentleman  can  speak," 
was  the  reply  of  the  chairman. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  261 

"  Mr.  Chairman,  I  will  not  detain  you  long ;  I  sim- 
ply wish  to  make  a  few  statements,  I  am  not  a  mil- 
lionnaire,  as  the  speaker  has  stated ;  but  I  will  con- 
fess that  during  these  five  years  I  have  made  about 
fifty  thousand  dollars,  whicli  I  will  further  confess  is 
as  much  as  I  put  into  the  business  in  the  first  place. 
I  will  now  tell  you  something,  which  but  for  this 
meeting  I  should  never  have  mentioned.  During  the 
first  two  years  of  our  enterprise  I  was  several  times 
in  imminent  peril  of  the  loss  of  everything.  I  not 
only  borrowed  money  to  pay  you,  but  on  more  than 
one  occasion  borrowed  it  at  very  high  rates  of  inter- 
est. There  was  a  time  during  the  second  year  that 
it  required  aU  my  courage  and  faith  to  bear  the 
strain ;  and  if  I  had  been  compelled  then  to  stop,  I 
should  have  lost  everything  that  I  possessed.  About 
two  years  and  a  half  since,  things  took  a  favorable 
turn,  and  during  the  last  two  years  I  have  made 
money  pretty  fast.  What  ought  I  to  do  with  it  ? 
Do  you  say  that  I  should  divide  with  you  ?  Per- 
haps so ;  but  I  don't  intend  to  do  it.  If  there  is  a 
man  among  you  who  thinks  that,  placed  in  my  cir- 
cumstances, he  would  give  up  the  fifty  thousand,  let 
him  stand  up  and  say  so.  I  am  sure  it  would  make 
us  all  better  to  look  into  his  face.  I  am  free  to  con- 
fess that  such  an  action  is  quite  above  me.  During 
the  first  two  years  I  lost  a  great  deal  of  money.     Per- 


262  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Laps  it  was  my  fault  that  so  much  imperfect  and  un- 
profitable machinery  was  put  in  and  had  to  be  taken 
out  of  the  building ;  but  there  was  a  large  loss,  which 
brought  me  to  the  very  verge  of  ruin.  Duiing  a  por- 
tion of  the  second  summer  I  walked  my  room  night 
after  night.  My  wife  thought  I  was  going  crazy. 
Well,  let  that  pass  and  be  forgotten.  I  liave  made, 
taking  the  five  years  togetlier,  about  seven  cents  a 
day  on  each  of  you  ;  or,  reckoning  my  own  services 
at  five  thousand  dollars  a  year,  I  have  made  a  profit 
of  three  and  a  half  cents  on  the  labor  of  each  of  you. 
Whether  the  capital  which  I  furnished  justifies  this 
tax  upon  your  industry,  I  shall  not  undertake  to  de- 
cide. Whether,  in  some  co-operative  system,  you  could 
have  employed  an  agent  to  do  the  buying,  selling,  and 
financiering  better  than  I  have  done  them,  so  as  to 
tax  your  industry  but  two  cents  or  one  cent  a  day 
instead  of  the  three  and  a  half  cents  which  I  have 
received,  you  must  decide  for  yourselves.  But  even 
in  that  case  he  would  probably  have  saved  more 
money  than  all  the  rest  of  you  put  together ;  and 
seeing  him  riding  in  a  carriage  and  living  in  a  good 
house,  would  you  not  have  made  the  same  complaint 
which  you  make  against  me  ?  " 

The  old  man  who  made  the  speech  already  reported 
here  got  on  his  feet  again,  and  exclaimed  in  a  loud 
voice :   "  I  go  deeper  than  all  this  small  talk.      Mr. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  263, 

Chairman  and  men,  I  say  society  is  all  wrong.  What 
right  had  this  one  man  to  have  fifty  thousand  dollars  ? 
Is  his  blood  any  better  than  that  in  the  rest  of  us  ?  I 
ask  what  right  had  he  to  inherit  more  money  —  this 
one  man  alone  —  than  all  the  rest  of  the  inhabitants 
of  this  village  possess  after  all  these  years  of  toil  ?  Is 
this  right  ?  My  father  left  nothing  to  me.  I  don't 
believe  that  any  of  your  fathers  left  anything  to  you. 
How  comes  it  about  that  this  one  man  has  more  than 
all  the  rest  of  us,  and  yet  we  have  toiled  all  our  lives, 
and  he  got  his  wealth  from  his  father  just  by  being 
born  ?  Is  there  any  virtue  in  being  born  ?  I  say 
society  is  rotten  to  the  core  when  such  things  as 
these  are  possible." 

The  proprietor  of  the  factory  got  the  floor  again  at 
this  point,  and  said :  "  I  grant  it,  Mr.  Chairman.  I 
grant  you  that  there  seems  to  be  something  very  un- 
just in  this  inequality  in  the  conditions  of  men.  One 
man  is  born  with  a  vigorous  body,  and  a  large,  active, 
well-balanced  brain ;  another  one  is  born  with  a  weak, 
sickly  body,  and  a  small,  unbalanced  brain.  With  the 
one  a  large  and  complete  success  is  easy  and  certain. 
With  the  other  life  is  a  miserable,  hopeless  struggle. 
AVhat  justice  is  there  in  this  ?  Why  does  God  permit 
it  ?  You  may  all  answer  this  question  to  suit  your- 
selves. Suppose  one  of  you  is  the  strong,  successful 
man.     You  earn  in  some  honorable  employment  fifty 


264  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

thousand  dollars.  You  earn  it,  I  will  suppose,  in 
manufacturing  some  valuable  invention,  the  product 
of  your  own  superior  brain  ;  what  would  you  think  if 
somebody  were  to  say  you  should  not  give  it  to  your 
children  ?  Or  if  one  of  you  had  inherited  from  such 
a  father  the  fortune  of  fifty  thousand  dollars,  what 
would  you  say  to  the  proposition  to  take  it  from  you  ? " 
The  old  man  sprang  to  his  feet  again,  and  eagerly 
asked :  "  Is  there  such  a  thing  as  justice  ?  Why  shoidd 
one  man  live  in  ease  and  comfort  all  his  hfe,  without 
an  hour's  labor,  and  another  man  work  within  an  inch  of 
his  life  half  a  century,  and  then,  when  he  is  worn  out, 
crawl  away  into  some  hole  and  starve  to  death  ?  Is 
life  a  lie  and  a  swindle  ?  If  I  remember  rightly,  it  has 
been  said  in  a  great  document,  which  we  all  revere,  that 
all  men  are  created  free  and  equal.  Let  us  see  if  this  is 
true.  Now,  there  is  this  one  man  with  fifty  thousand 
dollars,  which  he  was  bom  to  without  any  virtue  or 
merit  of  his  own,  and  with  it  he  is  able  to  command 
the  services  of  four  hundred  men,  to  use  them  for  his 
own  profit  and  pleasure,  and  double  his  great  fortune  in 
five  years.  He  asks  if  any  man  among  us  would  di- 
vide this  fortune,  if  he  possessed  it,  with  the  company 
of  men  who  have  earned  it  ?  I  answer  for  one,  that  if 
I  had  this  hundred  thousand  dollars,  I  would  at  once 
divide  it  among  the  men  who  have  earned  it,  and  to 
whom  it  justly  belongs.     If  Mr.  Barber  will  give  it  to 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  265 

me,  I  will  proceed  to  divide  it  here  and  now.  So  if  lie 
wants  to  look  into  the  face  of  a  man  who  would  divide 
with  the  crowd,  let  him  look  into  my  face.  I  have 
always  said,  if  I  should  ever  become  a  rich  man,  I 
would  divide  equally  with  my  fellow-workmen." 

The  proprietor  here  got  the  floor  again,  and  began 
with  saying  :  "  I  will  say  witli  perfect  sincerity  that  it 
gives  me  great  pleasure  to  hear  these  generous  senti- 
ments expressed ;  and  although  Mr.  Hardy  might  not 
possibly  do  what  he  now  thinks  he  would,  still,  to  hear 
such  noble  impulses  expressed  is  calculated  to  inspire 
us  all.  But  to  return  to  the  inequalities  amoug  men. 
We  have  in  the  next  town  a  striking  illustration  of 
inherited  advantage  far  more  striking  than  any  inheri- 
tance of  money.  "We  all  know  C.  M.  Stanley.  That 
man  w^as  born  with  body  so  fine  and  with  brain  so  in- 
genious that  everybody  saw  while  he  was  a  boy  that  he 
was  sure  to  achieve  a  great  success.  You  know  what 
lie  has  already  done,  and  yet  he  is  not  thirty  years  old. 
Before  he  is  fifty  he  will  be  not  only  rich,  but  will 
command  the  confidence  and  admiration  of  everybody 
that  knows  him.  You  all  know  James  Jones,  who  died 
in  our  village  last  winter.  With  that  deformed  and 
suffering  body  he  had,  as  you  all  know,  a  mind  so  un- 
balanced and  w^eak  that  he  could  not  take  care  of  him- 
self. After  wandering  about  helpless  and  wretched  for 
twenty-four  years,  an  object  alternately  of  charity  and 

12 


266  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

neglect,  but  always  of  disgust,  he  at  last  found  rest  and 
concealment  in  the  grave.  One  inherited  in  his  happy, 
splendid  faculties  health,  wealth,  popularity,  fame, 
happiness ;  the  other  inherited  suffering,  poverty,  and 
misery.  Why  this  difference  ?  Why  this  inequality 
among  men?  No  one  will  deny  that  the  greatest 
inequalities  among  men  are  those  in  their  capacities. 
All  external  differences  are  as  nothing  compared  with 
those  in  the  men  themselves.  You  may  say  that  this 
born  difference  is  unjust.  I  confess  that  it  has  seemed 
so  to  me.  But  in  my  sober  moments  I  never  doubt 
that  God  knows  what  he  is  about  in  permitting  even 
such  prodigious  inequalities.  It  is  of  no  use  to  scold 
about  it;  and  until  you  can  induce  the  Creator  to 
change  the  law  of  inequality  by  inheritance, — instances 
of  which  we  see  on  every  hand,  —  it  will  be  of  no  use 
to  quarrel  with  the  fact  that  by  the  use  of  these  in- 
herited faculties  one  man  gathers  wealth  and  success, 
while  another  man  suffers  only  poverty  and  a  wretched 
failure." 

The  speaker  sat  down  amid  profound  silence.  For 
the  first  time  the  workingmen  heard  their  employers' 
side  of  the  labor  question,  and  it  was  a  new  one  to 
them. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  267 


LABOR  AND  CAPITAL. 

I  HAVE  been  watcMng  some  stone-cutters  at  work 
next  door.  The  boss  is  absent.  It  is  ten  o'clock  in  the 
forenoon.  Three  men  have  been  at  work  all  the  morn- 
ing splitting  off  a  mass  of  granite.  It  is  very  plain 
that  if  one  of  the  men  had  taken  the  separation  of  that 
mass  of  granite  by  contract,  he  would  have  done  it  in 
half  an  hour.  But  these  ingenious  creatures  have 
already  given  three  hours  to  it,  and  it  is  pretty  clear 
that  they  intend  to  make  half  a  day  of  it.  I  don't  know 
what  the  workmen  themselves  receive  per  day,  but  the 
occupant  of  the  premises  has  to  pay  five  dollars  per  day 
for  each  of  these  skilled  laborers.  So  the  cracking  off 
of  that  piece  of  granite  costs  him  seven  dollars  and  a 
half.  I  would  make  a  wager  of  five  to  one  that  either 
of  the  three  men  could  do  it  within  twenty  minutes. 

I  am  not  writing  this  paragraph  to  complain  of  the 
lack  of  honor  and  manliness  among  workmen,  for  per- 
haps /and  (I  beg  your  pardon,  dear  reader)  you  under  the 
same  circumstances  might  be  guilty  of  the  same  mean, 
sneaking  theft ;  but  my  object  is  to  say  a  word  on  the 
system  of  work  by  the  day.  It  is  utterly  demoralizing. 
It  is  bad  altoejether. 


268  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


THE  WORKINGMAN'S  SUPPER. 

The  best  supper  for  a  tired  workingman  is  oatmeal 
porridge  with  a  little  warm  milk.  A  carpenter  who 
worked  for  me  frequently  talked  in  a  very  unhappy  way 
about  his  stomach.  He  could  digest  nothing,  his  food 
all  turned  sour,  wind  came  up  in  torrents,  "  there  Mas  a 
big  stone  right  here  in  the  pit  of  my  stomach,"  and  so 
on.  It  was  a  dose  to  hear  him  go  over  it.  I  inquired 
very  particularly  about  his  table  habits,  and  learned  that 
he  filled  his  stomach  at  supper,  when,  like  other  parts 
of  his  body,  it  was  tired,  with  hot  biscuit  and  butter 
and  preserv^es,  and  generally  added  just  a  little  fried 
pork.  I  said  to  him,  "  I  will  cure  you  in  a  month  if 
you  will  follow  my  prescription  faithfully." 

John  replied,  "  I  will  swallow  three  cats  every  day, 
if  it  will  cure  me." 

I  proposed  economy  in  cats,  and  that  instead  he 
should  make  his  supper  every  night  a  pint  of  oatmeal 
porridge  and  hot  milk.  "Within  a  month  the  other  men 
said  John  was  perfectly  crazy  about  oatmeal  and  hot 
milk,  —  that  he  thought  these  for  supper  would  take  a 
man  straight  to  heaven.  It  will  certainly  cure  many 
dyspeptics  among  workingmen. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  269 


EXTRAVAGANCE  AND  DEBT. 

I  KNOW  a  family  consisting  of  father,  mother,  four 
daughters,  and  one  son.  The  father  is  a  superior  watch- 
repairer,  has  a  shop  of  his  own,  and  earns,  with  the 
assistance  of  an  apprentice,  about  four  thousand  dollars 
a  year.  He  is  devoted  to  business  and  free  from  all 
expensive  indulgences.  I  do  not  know  a  man  more 
harassed  by  debts  and  poverty.  AVhatever  stock  he 
may  have  on  hand  must  always  be  in  the  name  of  a 
friend,  or  his  creditors  would  soon  dispose  of  it. 

The  way  in  which  those  four  thousand  dollars  dis- 
appear I  desire  to  give  the  reader,  with  some  reflections 
thereupon.  House  rent,  $600;  shop  rent,  $350;. gas 
and  coal,  $  175  ;  dress  for  self  and  wife,  $150  ;  spend- 
ing-money  for  fifteen-year-old  son,  $100 ;  allowance  for 
each  daughter,  $350;  two  servants,  $190;  food,  $1000; 
extras,  say,  $500.  This,  altogether,  amounts  to  about 
$4,500  ;  so  our  good  friend  F.  runs  behindhand  about 
$500  per  year.  These  accumulating  debts  make  his 
life  a  constant  humiliating  struggle.  He  said  recently 
that  but  for  his  helpless  family  he  would  gladly  take 
refuge  in  the  grave. 

Now,  as  my  friend  will  read  this,  I  shall  take  the 
liberty  to  say  a  few  plain  things,  which  I  sincerely 
hope  may  help  him  out  of  debt  and  into  a  more  com- 


270  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

fortable  frame  of  mind,  I  shall  presume  that  to-day 
you  owe  %  1,500,  and  shall  likewise  presume  that  you 
would  make  almost  any  sacrifice  to  rid  yourself  of  said 
debt. 

The  way  to  escape.  I  shall  not  advise  you  to  work 
harder  yourself,  for  you  already  go  quite  beyond  your 
endurance.  First,  discharge  your  servants,  and  let  your 
wife  and  daughters  cook  and  make  the  beds.  This  will 
save  you,  in  salary,  board,  and  waste,  at  least  $500. 
Next,  reduce  your  daughters'  dress  expenses  to  $  150, 
which  will  save  $400,  If  you  or  your  daughters  think 
a  plainer  wardrobe  will  make  them  less  respectable,  you 
are  all  very  much  mistaken.  They  are  not  half  so 
widely  known  as  your  debts,  and  every  new  and  rich 
addition  to  their  dress  excites  anything  but  admiration. 
I  know  several  young  men  who  admire  your  girls,  but 
are  deterred  from  visiting  them  because  of  the  facts  I 
have  mentioned.  The  reduction  I  have  suggested  in 
their  wardrobe  would  add  more  to  public  esteem  and 
popularity  among  all  classes  than  anything  else  we  can 
think  of  Then  stop  the  hundred  dollars  which  your  son 
expends  every  year  for  cigars  and  ice-cream,  and  take 
him  into  your  shop  in  the  place  of  your  apprentice. 
Here  you  wiU  save  at  least  $400  more.  And,  finally, 
reduce  your  table  expenses  to  $  500,  which  will  be  in- 
finitely better  for  all  If  you  leave  off  the  pies,  tjak^, 
and  puddings,  you  will  have  better  digestion  and  finer 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  271 

complexions.  If  you  live  on  plain,  coarse  food,  you 
will  all  have  sweeter  breath,  whiter  teeth,  finer  skins, 
and  longer  life,  and,  what  is  not  unimportant  with  you, 
save  $500  per  year.  If  you  will  run  your  eye  over 
these  several  items,  you  will  find  the  aggregate  $  1,800. 
This  will  soon  make  you  a  rich  man. 

Allow  me,  dear  friend,  to  say  that  you  will  never 
know  a  happy,  manly  hour  until  you  have  done  some- 
thing like  this.  And  I  trust  your  daughters  will  not 
be  offended  if  I  say  that  any  objection  they  may  urge 
to  this  retrenchment  will  discover  a  lack  of  decency  and 
honor,  of  which  no  true  woman  would  be  guilty. 


THE  ECONOMIES  OF  LIFE, 

You  tell  me  that  debt  and  despair  are  upon  you  ;  that 
when  the  clothes,  rent,  fuel,  and  lights  are  paid  for,  you 
have  only  six  hundred  dollars  left  with  which  to  feed 
your  family  of  eight,  and  that  it  can't  be  done.  I  think 
I  have  heard  this  story  a  thousand  times,  and  that  I 
have  written  advice  about  it  a  hundred  times.  And  as 
the  whole  subject  is  very  simple,  I  must  go  over  the 
same  ground  again. 

The  largest  item  in  your  table  expenses  is  meat. 
Beef  'is ,  high.  In  our  city  markets  a  good  steak  is 
worth  from  thii-ty  to  thirty-five  cents  per  pound.    Beef- 


272  FIVE-MINUTE  CBATS. 

steak  for  your  family  would  alone  cost,  for  breakfast 
and  supper,  more  than  two  dollars,  and  then,  if  you  had 
a  roast  of  sirloin  for  dinner,  that  would  cost  nearly  as 
much  more.  So,  if  that 's  the  right  way  to  live,  you  are 
managing  well  to  get  on  with  six  hundred  dollars  per 
year. 

But  do  you  know  that  there  are  only  about  sixty 
pounds  of  the  sirloin  which  are  used  for  roast  and  steaks, 
in  an  ox  weighing  eight  hundred  pounds  ?  There  are 
other  parts  of  the  -animal  —  good  solid  meat  —  which 
sell  for  five  cents  a  pound.  Portions  of  the  neck,  which, 
when  properly  cooked,  are  the  most  substantial  and 
nourishing  parts  of  the  carcass,  are  sold  for  four  or  five 
cents  a  pound.  One  pound  of  this  cut  into  small 
pieces  and  boUed  two  hours  in  three  quarts  of  water,  in 
a  close  vessel,  with  five  cents'  worth  of  potatoes,  turnips, 
parsnips,  and  carrots,  with  salt  and  pepper  and  some 
savory  herb,  would  make  a  splendid  dinner  for  all  of 
you.  Lay  bits  of  toasted  bread  upon  the  platter,  and 
then  pour  on  your  stew.    That 's  a  dinner  fit  for  a  king. 

Everybody  likes  variety.  Well,  purchase  next  day  a 
knuckle  of  veal,  which  will  cost  you  all  told  ten  cents, 
and  which  your  wife  will  treat  in  the  same  way  as  the 
beef,  except  that  she  will  leave  out  the  carrots  and 
parsnips,  and  put  in  bits  of  toasted  bread  or  dump- 
lings. 

The  next  day  try  a  bit  of  the  fore-shoulder  of  a  sheep. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  .  273 

which  is  very  cheap.  When  mutton-chops  are  selling 
for  twenty  cents  a  pound,  I  have  seen  mutton  fore- 
shoulders,  of  fair  quality,  selling  for  two  cents.  It  is  a 
part  which  is  always  very  cheap.  Cut  up  into  bits  and 
cooked  as  above,  a  grand  dinner  for  the  eight  members 
of  your  family  can  be  got  up  for  a  quarter  of  a  dollar. 

Any  of  these  stews  may  be  made  into  a  baked  meat- 
pie,  by  way  of  variety.  I  have  given  these  by  way 
of  illustration.  You  needn't  have  the  same  dinner 
twice  a  month.  Fish  may  be  employed  occasionally, 
and  some  excellent  sorts  are  very  cheap. 

But  these  preparations  of  meats  are  comparatively 
expensive.  That  beautiful  white  Southern  corn,  cracked 
wheat,  oatmeal,  beans,  and  other  similar  foods,  are  very 
cheap.  A  breakfast  of  oatmeal  and  white  corn,  with  a 
little  milk,  w^ould  cost  for  your  whole  family  not  more 
than  ten  cents,  and  it  would  be  a  breakfast  on  which 
you  could  all  work  hard.  Skipping  the  dinner,  which 
has  been  already  discussed,  let  us  consider  for  a  mo- 
ment the  supper.  If  you  keep  a  cow  —  as  every  man 
properly  located  with  a  family  of  children  should  —  a 
bowl  of  bread  and  milk,  or  some  warmed-up  bean  por- 
ridge, and  a  cup  of  tea,  will  satisfy  you. 

Such  food  as  I  have  thus  hinted  at  is  not  only  very 
cheap,  and  would  bring  your  table  expenses  within  two 
hundred  dollars,  but  upon  it  you  would  all  gain  flesh, 
have  brighter  eyes,  fine  teeth,  sweeter  breath,  and  be 

12* 


274  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

altogether  healthier  than  if  you  fed  yourselves  upon  the 
present  fried,  greasy,  compounded  stuffs,  with  pies, 
cakes,  and  puddings. 

The  whole  of  the  processes,  the  entire  management  of 
such  a  table,  is  given  in  great  detail,  with  tlie  reasons 
for  each  step,  in  "  My  Jolly  Friend's  Secret."  I  can- 
not render  you  a  more  important  service  than  by  re- 
ferring you  to  that  work. 


HEALTH  AND  TALENT. 

"  It  is  no  exaggeration  to  say  that  health  is  a  large 
ingredient  in  what  the  world  calls  talent.  A  man  with- 
out it  may  be  a  giant  in  intellect,  but  his  deeds  will  be 
the  deeds  of  a  dwarf.  On  the  contrary,  let  him  have  a 
quick  circulation,  a  good  digestion,  the  bulk,  thews,  and 
sinews  of  a  man,  and  the  alacrity,  the  unthinking  confi- 
dence inspired  by  these,  and,  though  having  but  a  thim- 
bleful of  brains,  he  will  either  blunder  upon  success  or 
set  failure  at  defiance.  It  is  true,  especially  in  this 
country,  that  the  number  of  centaurs  in  every  commu- 
nity —  of  men  in  whom  heroic  intellects  are  allied  with 
bodily  constitutions  as  tough  as  those  of  horses  —  is 
small ;  that,  in  general,  a  man  has  reason  to  think  him- 
self well  off  in  the  lottery  of  life  if  he  draw  the  prize 
of  a  healthy  stomach  without  a  mind,  or  the  prize  of  a 


FIVEr-MINUTE  CHATS.  275 

fine  intellect  with  a  crazy  stomach.  But  of  the  two,  a 
weak  mind  in  an  herculean  frame  is  better  than  a  giant 
mind  in  a  crazy  constitution.  A  pound  of  energy  with 
an  ounce  of  talent  will  achieve  greater  results  than  a 
pound  of  talent  with  an  ounce  of  energy.  The  first 
requisite  to  success  in  life  is  to  be  a  good  animal.  In 
any  of  the  learned  professions  a  vigorous  constitution 
is  equal  to  at  least  fifty  per  cent  more  brain.  Wit, 
judgment,  imagination,  eloquence,  all  the  qualities  of 
the  mind,  attain  thereby  a  force  and  splendor  to  which 
they  could  never  approach  without  it.  But  intellect  in 
a  weak  body  is  '  like  gold  in  a  spent  swimmer's  pock- 
et.' A  mechanic  may  have  tools  of  the  sharpest  edge 
and  highest  polish ;  but  what  are  these  without  a  vig- 
orous arm  and  hand  ?  Of  what  use  is  it  that  your 
mind  has  become  a  vast  granary  of  knowledge,  if 
you  have  not  strength  to  turn  the  key."  —  Professor 
Mathews. 

It  is  very  rarely  that  one  meets  this  vital  truth  so 
well  stated  as  in  the  above  paragraph. 


OUR  INHERITANCE. 

When  my  neighbor  Mr.  Blank  died,  the  morning 
papers  announced  his  wealth  as  $650,000,  and  added 
that  there  were   two   heirs,  who  would   thus   inherit 


276  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

$325,000  each.  This  inheritance  was  much  discussed 
at  our  breakfast-table.  Every  one  seemed  to  compre- 
hend the  magnitude  of  the  fortune,  and  every  one's 
eyes  shone  as  the  grand  figures,  $325,000,  were  re- 
peated. 

During  our  breakfast  conversation  over  the  splen- 
did cash  inheritance  of  young  Blank  and  his  sister, 
I  ventured  the  statement  that  the  inheritance  of  mor- 
bid appetite  which  young  Blank  had  received  from 
his  father  was  an  infinitely  more  important  fact  than 
the  $325,000  in  money.  I  submitted  that  if  Mr. 
Blank  had  scrupulously  denied  himself  the  wines, 
tobacco,  and  other  indulgences  which  were  so  con- 
spicuous in  his  every-day  life,  —  that  if,  during  five 
years  before  the  birth  of  young  Blank,  the  father  had 
lived  purely,  —  he  would  have  transmitted  to  his  son 
an  inheritance  of  infinite  more  value  than  any  num- 
ber of  dollars  could  be. 

A  highly  intelligent  mother,  who  had  for  years  been 
deeply  interested  in  ante-natal  culture,  said,  with  deep 
emotion,  "  I  have  five  children,  four  sons  and  a  daugh- 
ter, and  I  can  distinctly  trace  in  each  a  faithful  reflec- 
tion of  the  condition  of  the  father  and  myself  previous 
to  the  birth.  I  cannot  look  at  poor  Charley  without 
the  deepest  sympathy  and  pity.  For  a  year  before  his 
birth  an  evil  fortune  kept  us  both  in  a  dark  shadow. 
Almost  daily  my  husband  groaned  and  mourned,  and 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  277 

I  wept.  My  poor  boy  lias  walked  in  the  dark  shadow 
of  our  misfortune  every  day  of  our  life,  and  I  fear 
must  ever  be  denied  the  genial  sunshine.  Exceeding 
good  fortune,  a  joyous  spirit,  and  many  warm-hearted 
friends  came  to  us,  and  our  bright,  hopeful,  happy 
Thomas  was  born.  Yes,"  repeated  the  beautiful  mother, 
"  I  can  see  in  each  of  my  children  a  photograph  of  the 
circumstances  in  which  each  was  conceived  and  born." 


The  "  New  York  Herald "  of  September  13,  1873, 
gives  an  account  of  the  sale  of  a  number  of  cows  and 
calves  of  the  "  Improved  Short-Horn  Breed,"  at  York 
Mills,  near  Utica,  K  Y.  One  cow  sold  for  $  40,600  ; 
a  heifer  calf  less  than  seven  months  old  sold  for 
$  27,000 ;  a  cow  a  little  over  three  years  old  sold  for 
$  30,000 ;  a  heifer  calf  less  than  fifteen  months  old 
sold  for  $  19,000.  Fifteen  cows  and  calves  sold  for 
$  260,000. 

It  makes  me  dizzy  to  try  to  imagine  what  would  be 
the  result  of  the  same  study  and  care  devoted  to  the 
development  of  a  better  breed  of  men.  Within  a  hun- 
dred years  this  world  would  be  redeemed,  and  the  min- 
istering spirits  might  turn  their  attention  to  some  other 
planet. 


278  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


THE  SHAKERS. 

Detained  at  Pittsfield  the  other  day,  a  dear  friend 
invited  me  to  visit  the  Shakers  at  Mount  Lebanon.  I 
gladly  assented,  and  we  climbed  the  mountain  with  the 
best  of  horses.  Stopping  in  front  of  one  of  the  outlying 
houses,  I  inquired  of  a  middle-aged,  pleasant-faced  man 
where  I  might  find  Elder  Frederick,  by  which  title 
F.  W.  Evans  is  known  in  that  community,  and  in  great 
part  to  the  outside  world.  After  telHng  me  that  I 
should  find  him  in  the  last  family  on  the  left,  a  family 
with  brown  blinds,  he  looked  so  good-natured  and  ready 
to  talk,  that  I  could  not  refrain  from  a  question  or  two. 

"  Then  you  are  one  of  the  Shakers  ? " 

"0,yea!" 

"  How  do  you  like  it  ? " 

"  I  am  well  pleased.     I  am  satisfied." 

"  Are  they  all  contented  ? " 

"  0,  yea !  The  brethren  and  sisters  are  generally 
satisfied  and  contented." 

^ly  companion  asked  several  questions,  and  finally  a 
pointed  one,  which  he  evidently  did  not  feel  it  would 
be  wise  to  answer,  and  so  he  said,  "  Nay,  nay  !  You 
should  ask  Elder  Frederick  that." 

So  we  drove  on  in  pursuit  of  Elder  Frederick.  Leav- 
ing my  companion  to  hold  the  incomparable  Tom,  I 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  279 

knocked  at  the  front  door  of  an  immense  four-storied 
wooden  buikling,  with  agreeable  paint  and  pretty  brown 
blinds.  Immediately  the  door  was  opened,  and  a  sweet- 
faced  woman  said,  in  answer  to  my  question,  "  Yea,  but 
he  is  engaged  now.  If  you  will  come  this  way  and  wait, 
he  will  see  you  soon.  Take  a  seat,  and  you  can  look 
at  the  books  or  at  our  paper.  Have  you  seen  our  paper  ? 
There  is  a  number." 

I  glanced  over  a  copy  of  "  The  Shaker  and  Shak- 
eress,"  but  in  a  moment  heard  Elder  Frederick  coming. 
His  greeting  was  extremely  cordial. 

Elder  Evans,  who  is  the  voice  of  the  Shakers  through- 
out the  country,  is,  I  presume,  seventy-five,  years  old. 
He  appears  about  sixty,  but  as  these  people  live  for- 
ever, and  look  young  and  fresh  to  the  end,  I  add  fifteen 
years  on  calculation. 

After  the  first  greetings,  I  said,  "  A  young  woman 
who  drove  me  over  from  Pittsfield  sits  in  our  buggy  at 
the  door." 

"O,  yea!  Go  out  and  drive  round  in  the  rear 
through  the  lane,  and  I  will  meet  you." 

As  the  young  woman  did  not  like  to  trust  me  with 
her  horse,  she  herself  drove  round  into  the  barn.  (By 
the  way,  I  am  sorry  to  observe  that  young  women  are 
getting  so  that  they  hesitate  to  trust  us  men  in  any 
difficult  task.)  Elder  Frederick  tied  the  horse  him- 
self; and    I   will  add   here,  that  afterward  he   took 


280  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

him  out   of  the   carriage   with   his   own   hands   and 
fed  him. 

As  soon  as  Tom  was  fastened.  Elder  Frederick  said, 
without  asking  our  object  in  the  visit,  "  I  will  show 
you  our  barn,"  and  at  once  led  the  way. 

It  is  the  grandest  and  completest  barn  I  have  ever 
seen.  It  is  one  story  on  the  street,  and  three  high 
stories  in  the  rear.  Tlie  contrivance  for  fastening  in 
their  places  thirty  or  forty  cows,  or  one  section,  by  the 
movement  of  a  single  lever,  was  shown.  The  devices 
for  saving  every  particle,  solid  and  liquid,  of  the  fer- 
tilizing matter,  the  railroads  for  conveying  all  this  to 
an  immense  vault  in  the  rear,  where,  from  curious  cars  - 
tipping  on  either  side,  the  manure  is  thrown  down 
wherever  it  may  be  wanted,  —  all  these  things  were 
shown  to  us.  While  looking  down  into  the  great 
manure-vaults,  and  examining  the  semicircular  rail- 
ways, and  the  arrangements  overhead  for  hitching 
down  the  wagon-loads  of  absorbents  which  were 
driven  in  on  a  level  from  the  street,  and,  reaching  the 
far-off  back  end,  were  dumped  into  tlie  vault  fifty  feet 
below.  Elder  Frederick  remarked:  "I  have  never  un- 
dertaken anything  which  involved  more  thought  than 
this." 

The  ventilation  was  explained.  A  current  of  fresh 
air  comes  constantly  to  the  head  of  each  animal.  The 
feed-box  for  each  creature  (an  original  contrivance  of 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  281 

the  Elder)  was  shown  and  manipulated.  In  brief,  this 
immense  and  wonderful  home  of  the  horned  animals 
was  shown  and  explained  in  a  spirit  which  showed 
plainly  enougli  that  Elder  Frederick  thought  they 
were  all  Shakers,  every  one  of  them,  and  deserved  the 
best. 

Wliile  we  were  at  the  top  of  the  barn,  our  guide 
took  us  out  on  the  roof  to  show  us  the  views.  I  do 
not  know  where  in  the  world  anything  more  grand  and 
beautiful  can  be  found.  "We  were  in  the  bottom  of  a 
circular  nest,  two  or  tliree  miles  in  diameter,  the  moun- 
tains, everywhere  covered  in  wonderful  green,  rising 
above  us.  That  very  plain  dress  which  the  Elder  wore 
may  serve  some  good  purpose,  but  his  face  plainly 
showed  that  one  of  us,  at  least,  was  full  of  the  lovely 
scene  around  and  about  us.  My  companion  suggested 
that  the  choice  of  location  was  exceedingly  fortunate 
for  tlie  undisturbed  solution  of  the  great  social  prob- 
lem which  the  Shakers  had  undertaken.  Elder  Fred- 
erick's little  laugh  showed  very  plainly  that  he  fully 
appreciated  the  value  of  tliis  seclusion  from  the  wicked 
world  and  all  its  follies. 

Leaving  the  barn,  we  started  toward  the  house,  as  I 
supposed  to  examine  the  structure  and  economics  of 
kitchens,  workshops,  dormitories,  and  so  on  ;  but  we 
fell  into  a  discussion  of  the  ideas  of  the  Shakers,  and 
were  soon  seated  in  Elder  Frederick's  office,  where  we 


282  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  ♦ 

^^SPmained,  with  the  exception  of  the  half-hour  at  din- 
ner, during  the  several  remaining  hours  of  our  stay. 
Before  repeating  some  portions  of  that  conversation,  I 
■will  dispose  of  the  dinner.  We  had  seen  very  few  of 
the  people  as  yet,  but  we  looked  forward  to  the  great 
gathering  at  the  dinner-table,  where  we  should  see 
hundreds  of  them,  the  women  all  at  one  table  and  the 
men  all  at  another.  You  may  imagine  our  disappoint- 
ment when  we  were  conducted  into  one  of  those  aw- 
fully clean  rooms  which  make  one  almost  afraid  to 
breathe  lest  some  dust  may  be  shaken  off,  and  seated 
at  a  small  table  alone.  "We  swallowed  the  disappoint- 
ment with  our  dinner  as  best  we  could.  The  cookery, 
as  everybody  knows,  is  simply  perfect.  They  have 
achieved  the  most  complete  solution  of  the  table  ques- 
tion. Nothing  could  be  plainer,  but  it  is  more  palata- 
ble than  all  your  French  cookery.  A  restaurant  estab- 
lished at  some  convenient  point  in  New  York  City, 
and  conducted  on  the  Shaker  plan,  would  make  a 
fortune  in  five  years.  The  young  woman  who  waited 
on  us  at  dinner  was  questioned  by  my  companion. 
"  How  long  have  you  been  a  Shaker  ?  " 
"Twenty- two  years.  I  came  here  when  I  was  six- 
teen." 

I  had  thought  about  her  age,  and  had  put  her  at 
twenty-eight.  I  was  surprised  to  hear  her  confess  to 
thirty-eight.      Anywhere   in    the    outside    world    she 


*  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  283 

could  have  passed  for  under  thirty,  and,  if  rich,  for  ^ 
twenty.  Her  intelligence  and  manners  we  thought 
remarkable.  We  tried,  during  our  ride  back  to  Pitts- 
field,  to  name  some  city  lady  of  our  acquaintance  who 
was  the  equal  of  this  table-waiter,  but  we  found  it 
difficult. 

But  now  to  go  back  to  Elder  Frederick's  office,  and 
resume  our  conversation  with  him  and  his  sisters,  Alice 
and  Anna,  —  a  wonderful  trio. 

"  Elder  Frederick,  we  hear  you  are  very  rich." 

"  Did  you  ever  know  anybody  to  get  rich  at  farming 
or  other  plain  industry  ?  We  are  not  rich.  We  have 
six  or  seven  thousand  acres  of  land,  but  the  greater 
part  of  it  is  mountain.  We  raise  a  great  deal,  but  then 
we  consume  nearly  all  of  it.  We  always  keep  the 
best,  and  never  sell  anything  that  we  can  use  our- 
selves." 

"  Elder  Frederick,  we  hear  you  are  having  just  now 
a  series  of  meetings,  which  are  attended  largely  by 
outsiders.     What  do  you  expect  will  come  of  it?" 

"  We  hope  for  a  spread  of  our  doctrines." 

"  Do  you  mean  that  you  hope  the  people  outside  will 
become  Shakers  ? " 

"  That  is  what  I  mean." 

"Suppose  the  entire  inhabitants  of  the  continent 
were  to  become  Shakers  to-morrow,  what  would  you 
do  for  a  next  generation  ?  " 


284  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  '^ 

"  Wlmt  should  we  do  ?  We  should  do  very  much 
better  than  the  world  will  do  under  the  present  sys- 
tem : " 

"  Yes,  but  what  would  you  do  for  cliildren  ? " 

"If  the  whole  continent  were  converted  to  Shaker 
ideas,  the  number  of  children  born  hereafter  would  be 
greatly  increased,  and  their  chances  of  life  and  man- 
hood enhanced.  No  people  believe  in  marriage  and 
children  more  than  the  Shakers.  There  are  a  few  who, 
from  certain  conformations  of  brain,  would  aspire  to  a 
purely  intellectual  and  spiritual  life,  withdrawing  from 
the  generative  function.  These  would  constitute,  as 
here  in  Mount  Lebanon,  "  The  Spiritual  Order,"  but 
the  great  mass  of  the  world  would,  in  temperance  and 
virtue,  marry,  and  raise  families  of  children,  which, 
under  our  ideas,  would  grow  up  into  decent  and  useful 
manhood  and  womanhood." 

"Elder  Frederick,  wliat  do  you  teach  your  people 
about  another  life  ? " 

"I  don't  say  anything  about  it,  nor  care  anything 
about  it.  This  life  is  as  much  as  we  can  attend  to. 
Our  confidence  in  God  is  such  that  we  do  not  worry, 
lest  he  should  fail  us  ten  years  hence,  or  a  thousand 
years  hence." 

"  "What  do  you  think  of  the  Oneida  Community  ? " 

"  I  think  the  leader  in  that  foolish,  bad  experiment 
is  a  fallen  man.     He  knows  the  truth  and  the  riglit. 


^^  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  285 

but  sees  an  opportunity  to  secure  a  certain  leadership 
and  distinction,  "by  pandering  to  the  lust  of  this  lust- 
ful generation." 

"What  is  the  influence  on  longevity  of  your  life 
here  in  Mount  Lebanon  ? " 

"  It  is  remarkable.  A  sister  died  the  other  day  one 
hundred  and  six  years  old.  Several  have  died  over 
ninety.  But  I  will  procure  a  pamphlet  for  you  pub- 
lished by  a  former  governor  of  Vermont,  in  which  you 
will  find  that  the  average  life  among  the  Shakers  is 
nearly  double  that  of  the  outside  world." 

We  talked  of  many  things,  but  my  companion  re- 
minded me  that  "  time,  tide,  and  the  cars  wait  for  no 
man,"  and  we  left  with  a  sincere  invitation  from  these 
good  people  to  visit  them  again,  which  we  both  fully 
intend  to  do,  and  with  the  comforting  assurance  from 
Elder  Evans  that  we  were  both  genuine  Shakers,  and 
belonged  with  them ;  but  as  we  could  n't  possibly  stay 
just  then,  we  hurried  back  to  Pittsfield,  —  I  to  take  the 
cars  for  Boston,  and  my  companion  another  train  for 
lier  beautiful  home  away  down  on  the  banks  of  the 
Housatonic. 


Different  systems  of  religion  all  have  their  uses, 
and  there  is  good  in  all  and  none  all  good.  There- 
fore it  is  very  foolish  for  fallible  mortals  to  sit  in 
judgment  upon  any  of  them. 


286  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


"BEG  YOUR  PARDON." 

Some  one  has  said  that  polite  words  are  nothing  but 
air.  We  have  all  lieard  the  reply  that  they  may  be 
nothing  but  air,  but,  like  the  air  in  a  rubber  cushion, 
they  serve  to  ease  the  jolts  of  life.  This  contains  a  bit 
of  practical  wisdom  which  we  Americans  are  apt  to 
forget. 

I  was  dining,  or  bolting  food  by  jerks,  at  a  railroad 
station  the  other  day,  when  a  Japanese  young  man  took 
the  stool  next  to  mine,  and  with  his  very  few  words  of 
English  managed  to  caU  for  some  oysters  and  coffee. 
He  ate  and  drank  like  a  Christian,  and  attracted  my 
attention  by  a  frequent  use  of  "  Beg  your  pardon." 
He  wanted  the  pepper ;  and  reaching  for  it,  he  said  in 
a  sweet  voice  to  the  gentleman  before  whose  face  he 
was  obliged  to  pass  his  arm,  "  Beg  your  pardon,  sir." 
Wishing  a  glass  of  water,  he  raised  his  tumbler 
slightly,  and  with  a  bow  and  a  pleasant  smile  said  to 
me,  "Beg  your  pardon,  if  you  please." 

As  a  rule,  I  don't  like  the  Chinese  or  Japanese, 
but  this  young  man,  with  his  quiet,  gentle  "  Beg  your 
pardon,"  commanded  not  only  my  attention,  but  my 
admiration.  Those  of  us  who  sat  near  enough  to  serve 
liim  were  more  than  willing,  and  I  noticed  a  coarse 
fellow  with  liis  hat  on  across  the  table  push  the  plate 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  287 

of  crackers  over  to  the  polite  foreigner,  without  being 
asked,  and  without  even  looking  up,  as  if  he  felt 
ashamed  of  the  act,  but  could  not  help  it. 

And  you  must  not  forget  that  all  this  was  at  a 
railroad  pig-trough,  where  we  generally  thrust  in  our 
noses  without  even  looking  at  the  other  pigs. 

I  sought  an  opportunity  to  converse  with  the  polite 
gentleman  when  we  had  resumed  our  journey ;  and  al- 
though he  knew  less  than  a  hundred  words  of  our  lan- 
guage, I  was  delighted.  "  I  beg  your  pardon,"  "  Thank 
you,"  "  If  you  jjlease,"  and  "  You  are  very  kind," 
were  sentences  he  could  speak  quite  distinctly,  and 
with  them  he  can  make  his  way  wherever  the  language 
is  spoken.  He  constantly  apologized  for  speaking  the 
language  so  badly,  but  I  assured  him  with  perfect  sin- 
cerity that  I  had  never  heard  it  spoken  better  in  my 
life.  Now  all  tliis  costs  nothing,  and  is  the  passport  to 
every  good  thing  in  social  life.  I  know  of  no  invest- 
ment that  pays  like  politeness.  It  never  fails  to  secure 
attention  and  kind  consideration.  It  will  secure  more 
favors  and  real  kindness  than  strength,  beauty,  learn- 
ing, and  Avealth,  and,  after  all,  costs  nothing.  Ameri- 
cans are  singularly  defective  in  this  bright  "small 
change  "  of  the  social  world. 


288  FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


CURE  OF  STAMMERING. 

Some  years  ago  a  famous  professor  came  to  a  town 
where  I  was  then  residing,  and  announced  that  he 
could  "  cure  the  worst  cases  of  stuttering  in  ten  min- 
utes without  a  surgical  operation."  A  friend  of  mine 
■was  an  inveterate  stammerer,  and  I  advised  him  to 
call  upon  the  wonderful  magician.  lie  called,  was  con- 
vinced by  the  testimonials  exhibited,  struck  up  a  bar- 
gain, paid  the  fifty  dollars,  and  soon  called  at  my  office 
talking  as  straight  as  a  railroad  track. 

I  was  greatly  astonished,  and  asked  my  friend  by 
what  miracle  he  liad  been  so  strangely  and  suddenly 
relieved  of  his  life-long  trouble.  He  most  provokingly 
informed  me  that  lie  had  made  a  solemn  pledge  not  to 
reveal  the  process  of  cure. 

I  knew  two  other  bad  cases,  —  ladies,  —  and,  calling 
upon  them,  reported  what  had  come  to  pass. 

They  were  soon  at  the  professor's  rooms,  came  away 
greatly  elated,  raised  the  hundred  dollars,  %sent  the 
next  day,  paid  the  cash,  and  in  half  an  hour  were 
ready,  had  the  question  been  popped,  to  say  "Yes," 
without  a  jerk ! 

I  Avas  soon  made  acquainted  with  several  other  cures 
quite  as  remarkable,  and  resolved  to  put  on  my  sharp- 
est wits  and  wait  upon  the  magician  myself. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  289 

He  seemed  an  honest  man,  and  in  two  days  I  had 
made  up  my  mind  to  pay  him  a  large  fee  and  learn  the 
strange  art,  with  the  privilege  of  using  it  to  cure 
whomsoever  I  w^ould. 

Those  who  had  been  cured  by  the  professor  were 
solemnly  bound  not  to  reveal  the  secret  to  any  one, 
but  my  contract  gave  me  the  privilege  of  using  the 
knowledge  as  I  pleased. 

And  now  I  propose  to  give  my  readers  a  simple  art 
which  lias  enabled  me  to  make  very  happy  many  unhap- 
py stammerers.  In  my  own  hands  it  has  often  failed 
to  effect  the  desired  result,  but  in  three  fourths  of  thp 
cases  which  I  have  treated  the  cure  has  been  complete. 

The  secret  is  simply  this :  the  stammerer  is  made  to 
mark  the  time  in  his  speech,  just  as  it  is  ordinarily 
done  in  singing.  He  is  at  first  to  beat  on  every  sylla- 
ble. It  is  best  at  the  first  lesson  to  read  some  simple 
composition,  like  one  of  David's  Psalms,  striking  the 
finger  on  the  knee  at  every  word,  then  read  in  a  news- 
paper, beatiug  each  syllable. 

You  can  beat  time  by  striking  the  finger  on  the 
knee,  by  simply  hitting  the  thumb  against  the  fore- 
finger or  moving  the  large  toe  in  the  boot. 

I  doubt  if  the  worst  case  of  stuttering  could  con- 
tinue long,  provided  the  sufferer  would  read  an  hour  or 
two  every  day,  with  thorough  practice  of  this  simple 
art,  observing  the  same  in  his  conversation. 

13 


290  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

As  thousands  have  paid  fifty  and  a  hundred  dollars 
for  this  secret,  I  take  great  pleasure  in  publishing  it 
to  the  world. 


A   CHAT   ABOUT   ENGLISHMEN. 

Last  summer  the  British  Association  for  the  Ad- 
vancement of  Science  held  its  annual  meeting  at 
Brighton,  It  was  my  fii-st  opportunity  to  attend  the 
sittings  of  this  grand  association,  and  I  went  down. 
If  I  were  an  Englishman,  and  wished  to  show  my 
peoj)le  in  their  best  aspect  to  a  stranger,  I  should  take 
him  to  a  meeting  of  this  august  body.  The  English- 
man as  seen  in  that  body  is  so  simple,  so  sincere  and 
earnest,  he  shows  such  patient  research  and  such  com- 
prehensive grasp,  that  he  seems  the  grandest  of  men. 
But  my  object  at  this  time  is  not  to  discuss  the  char- 
acter of  the  association,  but  to  gossip  a  little  about 
some  of  the  people  I  saw. 

Dr.  Carpenter,  who  delivered  the  opening  address, 
is  better  known  to  Americans  —  especially  doctors  — 
than  any  other  medical  man  in  Europe.  He  is  appar- 
ently sixty,  pale,  tall,  lank,  and  for  all  the  world  a 
Yankee  of  the  gaunt  species.  He  wears  artificial  teeth, 
and  the  upper  plate  continually  fell  down.  As  often 
as  he  spoke  the  word  "  power,"  down  the  plate  came. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  291 

and  he  was  obliged  to  use  his  hand  often  to  replace  it. 
It  was  the  most  painfully  ludicrous  sight  imaginable. 
Like  all  the  speakers  at  the  meeting,  his  elocution  was 
very  bad.  In  this  connection  let  me  say  that  Colonel 
Fox,  whose  name  we  see  now  so  often  in  the  news- 
papers, and  who  is  a  very  high  authority  in  anthro- 
pology, was  a  prominent  speaker  in  the  meeting  at 
Brighton.  The  colonel  is  a  handsome  man,  with  black 
hair,  pale  face,  and  a  strikingly  intellectual  expression, 
and  if  he  had  been  reared  in  America,  would  have 
been  a  fluent,  perhaps  a  brilliant  speaker ;  but,  edu- 
cated in  English  notions  of  oratory,  his  speaking  is,  to 
an  American,  really  distressing.  I  heard  liim  in  a 
formal  address,  and  I  honestly  declare  it  made  me 
sweat.  It  must  have  taken  him  a  long  time  to  learn 
it.  Never  by  any  accident  did  he  speak  five  consecu- 
tive words  without  a  hitch.  I  heard  no  speaker  in 
England  talk  right  on  in  our  American  fashion,  with 
perhaps  the  single  exception  of  Mr.  Spurgeon.  He  is 
a  miracle  of  volubility,  —  would  be  so  regarded  even 
among  us. 

But  to  return  to  Brighton.  Sir  John  Lubbock  was 
prominent.  Sir  John's  personelle  is  very  unpromising. 
A  small  man,  with  a  small  common  head  and  a  small 
cheap  face,  a  small,  piping,  sing-song  voice,  he  seemed 
to  be  as  little  of  a  nobleman  as  one  could  imagine,  but 
he  is  evidently  great  in  the  insect  department. 


292  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Our  Stanley  was  there,  and  the  lion  of  the  show. 
He  was  run  after  and  cheered  quite  as  much  as  the 
Prince  of  Wales  would  have  been.  Mr.  Stanley  was 
rather  ill  at  ease:  The  white  kids  upon  his  enormous 
hands  were  a  bad  fit,  and  his  whole  appearance  sug- 
gested the  thought  that  he  was  probably  far  more  com- 
fortable in  the  jungles  of  Africa. 

Napoleon,  Eugenie,  and  the  prince  had  been  invited 
to  attend  the  meetings,  and  at  the  opening  addresses 
I  sat  at  the  reporters'  table  close  by  those  remarkable 
people,  and  immediately  in  front  of  them.  The  paper 
Dr.  Carpenter  was  reading  had  been  printed  and  dis- 
tributed to  the  representatives  of  the  press,  so  that 
I  had  nothing  to  do  but  to  look  at  the  famous  trio. 
Napoleon  was  the  youngest  looking  man  for  his  age  I 
have  ever  seen.  His  skin  was  clear  and  fresh  and  free 
from  wrinkles.  He  looked  like  a  man  of  fifty. 
Eugenie  is  a  very  striking  personage.  The  pictures 
are  remarkably  faithful.  I  think  her  complexion  must 
be  very  dark,  though  she  uses  such  a  profusion  of 
pearl-powder  that  one  cannot  tell  about  the  color  of 
the  skin.  I  could  discover  no  resemblance  between 
the  son  and  either  of  the  parents,  but  he  is  a  remark- 
ably bright  young  man.  A  friend  of  mine  was  present 
at  the  closing  exercises  of  a  school  dowTi  near  Chisel- 
hurst  last  June,  and  the  prince  was  present  to  repre- 
sent his  father.    My  friend  was  surprised  at  a  speech 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  293 

clearly  extempore  from  the  iDrince.  The  English  was 
remarkably  good,  and  the  whole  affair  would  have  done 
credit  to  a  practised  orator  of  double  his  years. 

At  the  Emperor's  right  hand  sat  the  Baroness  Burdett 
Coutts.  You  have  seen  a  New  England  old  maid,  the 
last  end  of  a  played-out  Yankee  family,  with  long, 
skinny  neck  and  a  red  eruption  covering  half  the  face. 
That's  the  Baroness  exactly.  But  there  is  no  doubt 
that  she  is  in  many  respects  a  remarkable  woman,  and 
her  wealth,  which  she  is  using  with  such  noble  be- 
nevolence, is  boundless. 


ENGLISH  CRUELTY. 

During  a  recent  visit  to  England,  I  was  surprised 
and  pained  at  the  many  evidences  of  cruelty  among 
the  people.  I  stood  on  the  corner  of  Eegent  and  Ox- 
ford Streets  two  hours,  and  counted  the  number  of  cuts 
received  by  horses.  It  was  468,  and  the  whips  used  by 
the  cab-drivers  there  are  very  severe.  When  I  returned 
to  America,  I  spent  the  first  two  spare  hours  (which 
happened  to  be  the  busiest  of  the  day  for  the  street) 
on  the  corner  of  Broadway  and  Canal  Streets,  in  New 
York,  and  counted  the  number  of  whip-cuts  within  the 
range  of  my  vision.  It  was  14,  and  the  whips  used  by 
New  York  drivers  are  notliing  compared  with  those 
used  by  London  drivers. 


294  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

During  seven  weeks  in  London  I  saw  a  woman 
beaten  by  a  man  in  the  street  nine  times.  I  have 
never  witnessed  such  brutality  in  America. 

The  new  game  of  Polo  on  horseback,  inaugurated 
last  summer  in  the  presence  of  royalty  and  uncounted 
nobility,  on  the  Grand  Park  at  Windsor  Castle,  I  wit- 
nessed. The  cruel  tortures  to  which  the  beautiful 
ponies  were  subjected  would  not  be  permitted  in  the 
United  States.  Not  only  would  ladies  and  respectable 
men  refuse  to  look  on  and  approve,  but  the  authorities 
would  be  compelled  to  interfere. 

Still,  in  some  of  the  highest  ladies*  schools  in  Eng- 
land, grown  women  are  whipped,  and  in  the  colleges 
the  beating  of  the  younger  boys  by  the  older  would 
not  be  submitted  to  by  American  savages.  It  is  not 
matched  by  anything  in  history. 


MORAL  HEROISM  OF  AMERICANS. 

It  is  the  common  opinion  that  the  Yankee  cares  for 
nothing  but  dollars ;  that  he  is  a  worshipper  of  mam- 
mon ;  that,  deprived  of  this  god,  he  is  broken-hearted. 

The  day  after  the  great  Boston  fire  one  saw  in  the 
crowd  of  ruined  merchants  slowly  wandering  about  the 
smouldering  ruins  a  spirit  which  was  infinitely  removed 
from  the  money-grabber.     It  was   a   calm,  cheerful. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  295 

brave  facing  of  the  disaster.  Not  a  word  of  discour- 
agement, nothing  approaching  a  whine.  Hundreds  of 
them  standing  naked,  stripped  of  the  earnings  of  a 
lifetime,  quietly,  unflinchingly,  cast  about  to  see  how- 
to  make  a  new  beginning.  It  was  one  of  the  grandest 
examples  of  a  high  moral  heroism  ever  witnessed. 


A  NEW  HORSE-DISEASE. 

A  NEW  disease  has  broken  out  among  the  horses  of 
the  country,  which  is  not  unlike  the  epizootic  in  some 
of  its  forms,  and  threatens  to  become  as  widespread. 
A  few  words  with  regard  to  its  management  may  not 
come  amiss. 

The  people  think  that  the  peculiar  misfortune 
about  the  equine  plague  is  that  the  doctors  have  been 
caught  off  guard.  One  paper  says  that  "the  strange 
malady  has  thus  far  eluded  the  grasp  of  the  medical 
men,  that  as  yet  they  have  not  come  to  a  full  under- 
standing of  its  nature,"  etc.,  etc.  Another  paper  said 
the  other  day  that  one  of  our  city  horse-doctors  was 
trying  a  composition  of  nearly  twenty  ingredients,  and 
that  when  he  had  determined  the  exact  proportions  of 
each,  he  would  be  all  ready  to  make  a  fortune  out  of 
his  secret  should  the  disease  reappear. 

It  is  true  that  the  equine  plague  has  thus  far  eluded 


296  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  grasp  of  medical  men,  —  that  we  know  but  little 
of  its  nature;  but  all  this  is  equally  true  of  other 
maladies,  even  of  those  with  the  names  of  which  we 
have  been  longest  acquainted.  The  cholera  has  long 
been  made  the  subject  of  the  most  searching  investi- 
gations. Volumes  have  been  written  about  it.  But, 
saying  nothing  of  the  nature  of  the  malady  (which  we 
may  frankly  confess  is  quite  beyond  mortal  ken),  it  is 
not  known  to-day  whether  the  cholera  comes  from  the 
earth,  the  air,  or  the  sky.  In  brief,  we  know  nothing 
of  it  beyond  its  symptoms ;  and  we  may  add  that  this 
is  the  full  extent  of  our  knowledge  about  a  common 
catarrh  or  cold  in  the  head.  What  can  we  say  of  its 
nature  ?  Every  candid  doctor  will  answer,  "Nothing, 
positively  nothing." 

This  disease  of  the  horse  is  new  in  some  of  its  fea- 
tures ;  but  the  pretence  that  when  doctors  have  had  time 
to  grasp  its  nature,  they  will,  etc.,  etc.,  is  sheer  affecta- 
tion and  nonsense.  -  It  is  probably  true  that  experience 
will  improve  our  management  of  our  four-footed  pa- 
tients, but  it  will  improve  it  by  teaching  us  the  utter 
worthlessness  of  doctor  stuffs ;  and  that  will  certainly 
be  a  great  gain.  Of  late  years  a  new  malady  is  met 
with  theories  and  drugs.  Experience  invariably  leads 
to  hygiene.  If  a  common  catarrh  or  cold  in  the 
head  were  just  now  a  new  disease,  the  medical  mag- 
azines would  be  full  of  theories  and  drujj  treatment. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  397 

Experience  would  teach  abstinence,  cleanliness,  extra 
sleep,  pure  air,  and  warm  clothing.  The  horse  plague, 
should  it  frequently  return,  wiH  have  a  similar  history, 
A  pack  of  horse-quacks  will  mix  up  quantities  of 
poisonous  drugs,  talk  mysterious  wisdom,  and  force  the 
nasty  stuffs  down  the  unwilling  throats  of  the  dumb, 
suffering  creatures.  Then  they  will  learn  better,  and 
finally  will  come  to  depend  upon  warm  blankets,  pure 
air,  and  other  hygienic  expedients.  Some  of  our  com- 
mon-sense teamsters  have  managed  in  the  simple, 
natural  way,  and  have  thus  treated  the:ir  horses  as  well 
as  it  is  possible  to  treat  them. 

All  this  rigmarole  of  technical  names  and  theories, 
all  these  whispers  that  this  and  that  horse-doctor  is 
engaged  in  careful  investigations  and  experiments,  are 
the  most  perfect  tomfoolery  imaginable ;  and  while 
said  doctors  are  quite  willing  to  profit  by  these  def- 
erential hints,  when  they  meet  each  other  they  thrust 
their  tongues  into  their  cheeks  and  wink. 

My  object  in  these  remarks  is  not  to  disparage 
veterinary  physicians  as  such,  —  for  some  of  them  we 
know  to  be  thoughtful,  devoted  men,  —  but  to  urge 
a  word  in  mercy  for  our  long-suffering,  patient,  noble 
friend,  the  horse.  The  cruel  tortures  to  which  he  has 
been  subjected  by  ignorant,  reckless  horse-doctors,  so 
called,  must  give  us  all  the  heartache. 

As  an  illustration  of  the  kind  of  treatment  which 

13* 


298  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

our  four-footed  friend  sorely  needs,  let  us  consider  the 
stall  in  which  he  is  confined  during  this  long  sickness. 
His  head  is  tied  at  the  farther  end  of  a  close  box,  with- 
out change  of  air  and  without  light.  The  secretions 
from  his  nose  besmear  his  feed-box,  the  fetid  emana- 
tions in  his  breath  accumulate  until  his  keeper  can 
scarcely  breathe  the  reeking  stench,  and  the  horse  goes 
on  night  and  day  sucking  in  the  foul  excretions.  What 
he  needs  most  of  all  is  a  light  and  perfectly  ventilated 
room  to  live  in  during  his  illness.  He  needs  it  quite 
as  much  as  a  man  would  suffering  with  a  similar 
disease.  To  say  that  this  alone  would  do  more  for  the 
victims  of  this  plague  than  all  the  medicines  which 
have  been  forced  down  their  throats  is  to  speak  with 
excessive  moderation.  Let  us  condense  the  most  im- 
portant rules :  — 

1.  Light  and  perfect  ventilation. 

2.  Warm  blankets. 

3.  Frequent  and  hard  rubbing   with   brushes   and 
wisps  of  straw. 

4.  Simple  opening  food.     Carrots  and  other  roots 
are  best. 

5.  Plenty  of  pure  water. 

6.  If  not  too  sick,  a  walk  morning  and  afternoon 
of  an  hour  or  so,  wrapped  in  warm  blankets. 

Everybody  has  heard  the  old  story  of  the  cute  Yankee 
who  announced  for  exhibition  "A   horse   with   his 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  299 

HEAD  WHERE  HIS  TAIL  OUGHT  TO  BE."  It  waS  impos- 
sible to  make  change  fast  enough  at  the  stable  door. 
The  eager  crowd  rushed  in  and  found  an  old  horse 
standing  with  his  tail  backed  up  into  the  farther  end 
of  a  stall  and  his  head  sticking  out  at  the  open  end 
of  the  stall. 

If  all  the  horses  suffering  with  the  new  disease  had 
been  kept  on  exhibition  after  the  Yankee's  fashion, 
the  malady  would  have  been  greatly  mitigated. 


THE  CHECK-REIN. 

Many  cruelties  are  inflicted  upon  the  horse.  The 
most  inexcusable  is  the  check-rein. 

I  have  just  been  watching  a  stylish  team.  Both 
horses  are  busy  trying  to  release  their  heads.  The 
head  goes  to  one  side,  then  to  the  other,  then  the  nose  is 
thrown  up  as  high  as  possible  several  times.  And  so  it 
goes  on  without  cessation.  The  torture  in  the  bent  and 
constrained  spine  must  be  intense :  their  eyes  show  it. 
Unloose  the  checks  in  these  high-headed  animals,  and 
they  will  hang  their  heads  down  almost  to  the  ground  ; 
they  will  half  close  their  eyes ;  in  this  and  other  ways 
they  will  show  a  sense  of  great  relief. 

They  say  the  horse  looks  better  with  his  head  drawn 
up  two  feet  higher  than  where  "the  Creator  placed  it. 


300  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

That 's  a  matter  of  taste.  Some  people  have  said  that 
the  animal  travels  and  puUs  better  with  a  check-rein. 
Try  it  yourself.  Eiin  a  mile,  holding  your  person  and 
head  erect.  Try  it  again.  Draw  a  loaded  hand-cart 
up  a  hiU  and  hold  yourself  quite  upright.  You  wiU 
never  advocate  a  check-rein  again. 

The  Creator  knew  how  to  make  a  horse.  He  knew 
on  which  end  to  put  the  head,  and  just  how  to  put 
it  on.  He  taught  tlie  horse  how  to  carry  it.  I  have 
always  thought  the  thing  a  success. 

Could  the  dumb  creature  speak,  he  would  say,  "  My 
master,  I  know  that  I  was  made  to  serve  you,  that 
I  must  spend  my  whole  life  in  toiling  for  your  in- 
terests, and  I  ask  in  return  only  such  comfort  as  suits 
your  convenience.  I  will  not  complain  when  you  over- 
work me  and  whip  me,  but  I  beg  that  you  will  not " 
force  my  head  up  out  of  its  natural  place.  It  makes 
me  stumble,  for  I  can't  see  where  to  step.  It  strains 
my  loins  painfully  when  I  have  to  draw  a  heavy  load, 
and  it  lessens  greatly  ray  pulling  strength.  But,  my 
dear  master,  worse  than  all  these,  it  produces  an  aching, 
torturing  pain  in  my  spine.  Just  where  my  head  joins 
my  neck,  the  pain  in  the  spine  is  so  dreadful  some- 
times that  I  wish  myself  dead.  My  master,  hold  your 
head  in  a  curbed,  constrained  position  for  half  an  hour, 
and  you  will  suffer  the  keenest  pain  you  could  endure. 
This  I  have  to  bear  "from  morning  till  night.     It  is 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  301 

worse  than  all  my  other  sufferings  put  together.  My 
master,  give  me  the  liberty  to  move  my  head  in  the 
natural  way,  in  the  way  contrived  by  our  common 
Father ;  I  will  serve  you  better,  last  longer,  and  have 
a  little  comfort  even  in  the  midst  of  all  my  toils." 


THE  STREET-RAILWAY  HORSES. 

I  DROPPED  in  recently  to  make  the  acquaintance  of 
the  managers  of  one  of  the  large  street-railway  stables 
in  New  York.  I  found  the  superintendent  full  of  the 
wisdom  which  comes  of  long  experience  and  careful 
observation.  After  learning  that  he  employed  ten 
hundred  and  fifty  horses,  more  than  a  hundred  stable- 
men, and  many  other  similar  facts,  I  asked  a  number 
of  questions,  which,  with  his  answers,  may  interest  my 
readers. 

"  What  is  your  final  judgment  upon  the  weight  of 
the  car-horse  ? " 

"He  should  be  a  heavy  animal.  I  now  buy  those 
which  weigh  from  1,150  to  1,250  pounds.  We  all  used 
to  think  that  the  light,  high-spirited  horse  was  best. 
But  we  found  that  starting  the  car  killed  such  ani- 
mals." 

"  What  is  the  average  length  of  service  among  your 
horses  ? " 


302  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

"  About  three  years." 

"  What  then  becomes  of  them  ? " 

"  They  go  to  the  cart,  farm,  and  canal." 

"  ^ATiat  is  the  result  of  your  long  experience  in  feed- 
ing?" 

"About  seventeen  pounds  of  oats  and  corn  and 
seven  pounds  of  hay.  In  the  winter  we  mix  one 
bushel  of  corn  with  three  of  oats,  and  in  the  summer 
one  to  six.  "We  grind  the  grains  quite  fine,  and  cut 
the  hay.     No  dry  hay  is  given." 

"  Do  you  find  any  difference  as  to  endurance  or  ac- 
tivity associated  with  any  particular  color  ?  " 

"  No ;  though  we  all  fancy  that  light-colored  horses 
are  most  intelligent,  and  that  black  and  dark  sorrel 
horses  are  most  likely  to  be  vicious." 

"  "V\1iich  sex  is  worth  most  for  car  service  ? " 

"  The  horse.  I  do  not  buy  mares  now  if  I  can  avoid 
it.  There  are  one  or  two  familiar  objections  to  the 
presence  of  mares  in  a  large  crowd  of  horses ;  but  I 
have  found  another  serious  objection,  —  they  are  much 
more  liable  to  spinal  troubles.  We  had  eighty-five 
cases  of  cerebro-spinal  meningitis  in  our  stables,  and 
sixty-eight  of  them  were  mares,  or  exactly  four  in  five. 
The  number  of  the  two  sexes  was,  at  that  time,  almost 
exactly  equal.  Besides,  the  disease  was  particularly 
fatal  among  the  mares.  At  present,  we  have  two 
horses  for  one  mare,  and  after  a  time  I  intend  that  our 
stock  shall  include  no  mares." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  303 


VIVISECTION. 

Of  all  the  chapters  in  the  history  of  my  profession, 
no  other  makes  one  breathe  quick,  and  the  cold  sweat 
start,  like  that  of  vivisection.  Perhaps  my  younger 
readers  may  not  know  what  vivisection  means.  The 
dissection  of  an  animal  while  alive  for  the  purpose  of 
making  physiological  investigations.  With  cutting, 
and  burning  with  fire  and  acids,  with  starvation  and 
thirst,  it  is  possible  to  make  the  sufferings  of  a  dog,  for 
example,  during  his  week  or  month  in  the  physiolo- 
gist's laboratoiy,  something  which  the  imagination 
would  find  it  difficult  to  grasp.  Then  consider  the 
number  of  dogs,  and  other  animals,  which  physiologists 
have  tortured  to  death  under  pretence  of  scientific  in- 
vestigations. That  eminent  physiologist,  but  indecent 
savage,  Spallanzani,  lived  for  many  years  in  the  midst 
of  a  hell  of  cries,  yells,  groans,  shrieks,  and  moans, 
proceeding  from  thousands  upon  thousands  of  animals 
undergoing  his  experiments.  I  ask  my  medical  breth- 
ren what  advantage  to  science  came  of  it  all  ?  I  have 
been  a  student  of  physiological  researches  and  discov- 
eries, and  I  afl&rm  that  of  the  myriads  of  helpless 
creatures  that  have  been  tortured  in  this  way,  not  ooe 
in  a  million  have  made  the  least  contribution  to  sci- 
ence.     A  great  intellectual  genius,  like   one  of    the 


304  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Bells,  or,  perhaps,  Brown-Sequard,  reports  an  experi- 
ment upon  some  animal,  with  his  deductions.  Forth- 
with an  army  of  brainless  imitators  get  their  dogs  and 
begin.  Of  course  there  is  not  the  least  probability  of 
any  good  coming  of  it  all,  but  it  has  a  scientific  ap- 
pearance. The  poor,  helpless  creatures,  meantime,  all 
day  and  all  night,  suffer  on,  while  the  would-be  physi- 
ologist makes  notes,  which,  in  due  time,  he  will  inflict 
upon  some  medical  society ;  and  though  nobody  will 
get  a  single  valuable  suggestion,  a  few  of  the  more 

brainless  of  the  members  will  fancy  that  Dr. is, 

somehow,  a  scientific  investigator,  while  the  investi- 
gator himself  rests  his  weighty  head  on  his  hand,  and 
sighs  to  think  that  he  is  one  of  the  great  physiological 
explorers.  Hundreds  of  thousands  of  medical  men 
have  practised  vivisection.  Not  half  a  score  of  them 
have  contributed  an  idea  to  physiology.  The  boys  in 
Harvard  Medical  College  get  the  fever  of  vivisection 
every  winter.  They  read  in  the  journals  that  some 
German  physiologist  has  tried  this  or  that  experiment 
upon  a  rabbit  or  a  dog,  perhaps  an  experiment  which 
makes  one's  heart  stop  to  read  about,  and  these  young- 
sters set  about  starting  their  inquisition.  About  two 
months  ago  one  of  the  young  men  from  Harvard  told 
me  of  some  experiments  the  vivisectionists  of  the  class 
had  been  making ;  and  I  honestly  declare  that  I  cannot 
recall  that  description  without  a  shudder,  even  at  this 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  305 

distance.  I  trust  tliey  will  try  next  winter  the  law 
against  cruelty  on  those  Harvard  vi\'isectionists. 

Go  and  ask  the  eminent  physiologists  among  the 
professors  in  Harvard,  and  they  will  tell  you  exactly 
what  I  do  of  the  usefulness  of  vivisection. 

Among  the  Eomans,  a  gladiatorial  show  in  which 
some  liorrible  thing  did  not  occur,  was  regarded  a  tame 
fizzle.  The  savage  is  ecstatic  only  when  the  tortures 
of  his  hapless  victim  are  fiendish.  Down  in  the  ani- 
mal nature  of  many  a  civilized  being  there  is  not  a 
little  of  this  passion  for  the  horrible.  It  is  this 
which  gives  zest  to  vivisections. 


Over  a  considerable  portion  of  the  globe  the  com- 
mon garden  snail  is  an  article  of  human  food.  In 
many  parts  of  the  world  the  creatures  are  fattened  in 
snaileries,  and  are  sold  in  the  market  just  as  we  sell 
chickens  and  oysters.  In  Italy,  Spain,  Switzerland, 
and  France,  the  snail  trade  involves  a  large  traffic. 


It  is  strange  to  me  that  persons  of  common  hu- 
manity can  enjoy  the  eating  of  that  delicacy  among 
epicures,  pate  de  foie  gras.  It  is  made  of  diseased 
goose-livers,  unnaturally  enlarged  by  torturing  tlie 
poor  bird  in  a  manner  that  would  put  a  red  Indian 
to  the  blush. 


306  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


A  CHAT  ABOUT    DRAINAGE. 

Few  subjects  are  more  important  in  their  relation  to 
human  health.  One  half  the  deaths  which  occur  are 
caused  by  fever  in  its  different  forms. 

It  is  a  weU-established  fact,  that  the  principal  cause 
of  fever  is  a  humid,  miasmatic  state  of  the  atmosphere, 
produced  by  an  excess  of  moisture  in  the  ground,  from 
which  poisonous  exhalations  constantly  arise,  vitiating 
the  purer  air,  and  carrying  into  the  system  of  those 
who  inhale  it  a  virus,  which,  if  not  sufficiently  intense 
to  produce  fever,  has  such  a  disturbing  effect  upon  the 
functions  of  some  organ  or  set  of  organs,  as  to  weaken 
the  general  system,  and  act  as  a  powerful,  predisposing 
cause  of  some  of  the  most  common  and  fatal  maladies 
to  which  the  human  body  is  subject. 

Some  of  the  European  cities  have  suffered  fearfuUy 
from  want  of  thorough  drainage.  In  the  city  of  Glasgow, 
for  the  five  years  ending  1840,  55,949  persons  were  at- 
tacked with  fever,  —  every  fifth  person  in  the  city.  Of 
these  4,788  died.  The  city  of  London  has  probably 
suffered  more  from  imperfect  drainage  than  any  other 
city  in  the  world,  and  at  this  day,  after  years  of  labor 
and  an  enormous  expenditure  of  money,  that  city  is 
still  suffering  through  the  ignorance  and  errors  of  the 
past,  from  evils  which  may  never  be  wholly  eradicated. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  307 

Several  American  cities  have  suffered  frightful  losses 
from  bad  drainage. 

In  Buffalo,  N.  Y.,  during  the  memorable  seasons  of 
1849  and  1851,  I  personally  attended  three  hundred 
cases  of  cholera  and  cholerine.  Of  these  three  hundred 
cases,  two  hundred  and  fifty,  at  least,  occurred  in  dwell- 
ings which  stood  near  pools  of  water  or  upon  damp 
ground ;  and  I  doubt  if  I  saw  ten  cases  on  dry  soil,  well 
removed  from  accumulations  of  surface  water,  and  with 
dry,  pure  cellars. 

One  house,  which  stood  in  a  little  wet  hollow,  was 
the  scene  of  the  most  dreadful  mortality.  An  entire 
Irish  family,  consisting  of  parents  and  six  children,  fell 
victims  in  a  single  week.  Upon  the  death  of  the  last 
of  the  group,  a  boy  of  seventeen  years,  I  called  upon 
the  authorities  and  warned  them  against  allowing  the 
premises  to  be  occupied.  The  caution  was  neglected, 
and  a  few  days  after  I  was  called  to  see  some  cases  of 
cholera  at  the  ill-fated  house.  Upon  arriving  I  found 
seven  persons  all  in  the  collapse  of  cholera.  The  family 
had  moved  in  the  previous  day.  They  had  left  a  dry 
and  healthy  street  because  of  inability  to  pay  their 
rent,  and  had  spent  only  one  night  on  the  fatal  premises. 
Indeed,  before  daylight  the  malady  made  its  appear- 
ance. Before  the  sun  went  down,  all  had  forgotten 
their  agonizing  cramps  in  the  sleep  of  death. 

Damp  earth,  especially  in  cities  and  towns  where  im- 


308  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

mense  quantities  of  filth  accumulate,  is  the  source  of 
incredible  disease  and  death. 

Draining  the  soil,  thus  removing  the  water  from  the 
superficial  earth,  and  paving  the  streets  to  prevent  the 
water  from  reaching  the  earth  underneath,  are,  in  a  san- 
itary point  of  view,  the  same  thing. 

Streets  have  not  often  been  paved  for  health's  sake, 
and  yet  no  improvement  has  more  to  do  with  the  health 
of  a  city.  The  history  of  a  large  number  of  cities  shows 
conclusively  that  a  great  decrease  of  mortality  is  due 
alone  to  the  paving  of  certain  streets  in  locahties  pre- 
viously noted  for  their  unhealthiness.  "With  a  good 
pavement,  but  little  water  reaches  the  soil,  and  as  the 
direct  rays  of  the  sun  do  not  reach  the  earth,  no  poison- 
ous gases  are  generated. 

Dr.  Bell  cites  the  city  of  Philadelphia  as  a  remarkable 
illustration  of  the  advantages  of  paving,  and  affirms  that 
intermittent  and  bilious  remittent  fevers  have  declined 
whenev^er  and  wherever  the  streets  have  been  paved. 

Louisville,  Ky.,  is  another  case  in  point.  Previous  to 
the  paving  of  its  streets,  it  was  called  "  the  graveyard 
of  the  West."  It  is  now  as  healthy  as  any  town  in 
that  region.  Bilious  fevers,  rivalling  yellow  fever  in 
malignity,  threatened  to  depopulate  it.  The  streets 
were  paved,  and  the  sanitary  condition  of  the  city 
immediately  changed. 

Tlie   only  pavement  which  will  stand  our  climate 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  309 

is  that  wliicli  involves  the  essential  features  of  the  old 
Eoman  pavements.  If  the  pavement  be  so  constructed 
that  the  water  easily  leaches  through,  the  frost  will 
surely  follow  and  the  pavement  be  upheaved. 

The  pavement  must  be  impervious.  The  concrete 
pavement,  or  small  cubical  blocks  of  primitive  rock 
laid  upon  a  bed  of  concrete,  is  doubtless  the  only  one 
as  yet  devised  which  will  fulfil  all  the  required  condi- 
tions. Some  of  the  concrete  roads  built  by  the  Eomans 
in  England  twenty  centuries  ago  are  still  in  a  remarka- 
ble state  of  preservation. 

The  concrete  under  the  pavement  will  not  add  greatly 
to  the  expense,  and  will  make  the  pavement  last  per- 
haps twenty  times  as  long.  Indeed,  it  is  doubtful  if  it 
be  not  possible  to  lay  down  a  pavement  in  Broadway, 
N.  Y.,  which  would  serve,  without  repair,  a  hundred 
years. 

No  city  of  any  considerable  dimensions  can  be  clean 
or  healthy  without  a  plentiful  supply  of  water. 

No  city  in  America  has  a  sufficient  supply  of  wa- 
ter. It  is  a  shame  that  New  York,  with  its  immense 
resom-ces  and  prospective  population,  should,  dur- 
ing the  summer,  when,  in  a  sanitary  point  of  view, 
water  is  most  important,  be  obliged  to  stint  her  popu- 
lation. 

Every  principal  street  should  have  a  small  river  be- 
low, into  which  everything  from  the  surface  and  from 


310  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

the  houses  on  either  side  may  readily  flow.  With  good 
drainage,  paving,  supply  of  water,  and  sewerage,  a  city 
may  be  healthy. 

That  wise  physician,  Dr.  D.  A.  Gorton,  says :  "  How 
much  individual  health  depends  upon  the  sanitary 
regulations  of  the  household !  The  prescriptions  of 
the  best  physicians  are  often  insignificant,  compared 
with  the  virtues  of  hygiene ;  indeed,  ignorant  or  neg- 
lectfid  parents  and  nurses,  and  unwholesome  sur- 
roundings, frequently  defeat  the  purpose  of  the  wisest 
medical  advice,  and  render  inoperative,  or  worse,  rem- 
edies of  undoubted  timely  virtue.  But,  more  than  this, 
a  host  of  the  worst  disorders,  by  the  neglect  of  whole- 
some precautions,  are  engendered  within  the  household. 
A  leaky  drain,  defective  ventilation,  or  a  neglected  sink 
or  water-closet,  produce  more  cholera  and  typhus  than 
were  ever  dispensed  by  a  mysterious  l*rovidence.  The 
foul  air  of  a  cesspool  is  more  to  be  dreaded  than  the 
fumes  of  the  bottomless  pit.  I  knew  a  whole  family 
of  small  children,  a  few  years  ago,  swept  away  to  the 
unknown,  by  an  alleged  Providential  dispensation  of 
dysentery.  The  location  of  the  family  was  unexcep- 
tionable, —  high,  dry,  and  sunny.  It  was  in  the  month 
of  August ;  a  dry  season.  There  seemed  to  be  no  reason 
to  impeach  the  allegation  against  Providence,  until, 
walking  through  a  side-yard,  that  had  been  a  favorite 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  311 

resort  of  the  children,  a  cesspool  was  discovered,  that 
had  been  obstructed  all  summer !  Verily,  Providence 
was  merciful  to  that  family.  Instead  of  being  charged 
with  the  death  of  the  innocents,  He  should  have  been 
gratefully  thanked  for  preserving  the  survivors." 


ABOUT  THE  HOUSE  MR.   STONE  IS  TO  BUILD 
FOR  ME. 

Mr.  Stone,  I  will  mention  some  things  which  I 
must  have  in  my  new  house.  You  house-builders  are 
very  wise  about  the  anatomy  of  a  house,  but  you  have 
never  studied  its  physiology.  Wlien  the  walls  and 
the  roof,  the  floors  and  the  paper  and  paint,  are  done, 
you  think  that  the  house  is  finished.  In  its  anatomy, 
yes ;  but  then  there  's  the  physiology. 

Mr.  Stone.  But,  sir,  I  don't  know  what  you  mean 
by  the  physiology  of  a  house.  It 's  one  of  your  new- 
fangled notions,  ain't  it  ? 

Mr.  Stone,  let  me  explain  to  you.  My  home  will 
consist  of  the  walls,  roof,  etc.,  and  the  life  within. 
Now,  a  vital  condition  of  the  life  within  is  a  supply 
of  good  air.  To  have  this  there  must  be  a  constant 
movement  in  the  air.  A  hogshead  of  air  is  made  unfit 
for  respiration  by  a  pair  of  lungs  in  five  minutes. 
Suppose  there  are  ten  people  in  the  house ;  ten  hogs- 
heads of  air  would  be  rendered  unfit  for  breathing  in 


312  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

five  minutes,  or  two  hogsheads  every  minute.  Now, 
what  attention  do  you  house-builders  pay  to  all  that 
sort  of  thing  ?  Why,  none  at  all.  You  make  every- 
thing as  tight  as  a  bottle  with  a  cork  in  it  if  you  can. 
And  then  the  occupants  have  to  trust  to  luck  or 
Providence  for  breath,  although  the  Divine  Architect 
has  not  revealed  to  us  any  means  by  which  an  air- 
tight bottle  or  an  air-tight  room  can  enjoy  good 
ventilation.  Mr.  Stone,  what  we  want  in  our  houses 
is  pure  air,  and  the  best  means  during  the  season 
of  artificial  heat,  which  lasts  two  thirds  of  the  year, 
is  the  open  fire.  Let  us  for  a  moment  look  at  this 
brisk  wood-fire.  Observe  that  big  chimney-throat. 
Hold  a  piece  of  paper  near  it,  and  see  how  quickly 
it  will  dodge  up  the  chimney.  This  burning  can't 
go  on  without  that  rapid  rush  up  the  chimney.  All 
the  air  in  this  room  must  go  up  there  in  a  very  few 
moments,  and  through  fifty  openings  here  and  there 
fresh  air  comes  in. 

Suppose  you  ventilate  in  the  ordinary  way  —  an 
opening  in  or  near  the  ceiling — and  then  heat  your 
room  with  a  furnace.  The  ton  of  coal  for  which  you 
paid  seven  dollars  comes  rapidly  up  through  the 
register,  rushes  to  the  ceiling  and  pops  out  through  the 
hole.  It  is  warmer  than  the  rest  of  the  air  in  the 
room,  and  so  it  stays  at  the  ceiling  until  it  gets  out ; 
our  lungs  meantime  are  pumping  away  at  the  colder 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  313 

air  down  near  the  floor,  which  is  scarcely  changed 
at  all.  In  my  list  I  put  down  an  open  fire  as  number 
one  among  house  blessings.  In  the  course  of  a  day 
it  takes  hundreds  of  thousands  of  cubic  feet  of  air 
out  of  a  room,  and  always  from  the  lowest  stratum. 
And  although  nineteen  twentieths  of  the  heat  from  this 
open  fire  rushes  out  doors  through  the  chimney,  the 
one  twentieth  which  remains  in  the  room  keeps  that 
room  nearly  as  warm  as  the  whole  twenty  twentieths 
would,  brought  in  through  a  register;  and  this  is 
because  the  coldest  stratum  of  air  —  that  in  which 
we  sit  —  is  constantly  passing  up  the  chimney,  and 
the  warm  air  in  the  upper  part  of  the  room  is  thus 
brought  down  to  us.  Mr.  Stone,  you  see  the  value  I 
put  upon  ventilation,  and  I  hope  you  will  build  my 
house  accordingly. 


WELL  WATER. 

When  our  neighbor  Babcock  returned  in  the  au- 
tumn, the  water  in  his  well  was  putrid.  Of  course  it 
was  a  dead  cat.  John  was  sent  down  to  examine.  He 
reported  a  bad  smell,  but  no  cat.  Another  descent, 
this  time  a  good  light.  He  bawled  up,  "I  can  see 
every  part  of  the  bottom,  and  all  round,  and  I  tell 
you  there  ain't  no  cat  nor  nothing  down  here  ! " 

A  consultation  among  the  neighbors  was  now  held. 
u 


314  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Two  rheumatic  old  men,  leaning  on  canes  and  squirt- 
ing tobacco-jnice,  enlarged  luminously.  The  universe 
seemed  to  be  rather  their  pet  theme,  but  finally  they 
got  down  to  plain  work,  and  explained  very  clearly 
how  things  went  on  under  the  ground.  They  showed, 
by  various  gestures  and  illustrations,  how  the  gases 
and  the  substances  worked  upon  each  other  all  up  and 
down  and  through  the  various  passages  and  crevices 
and  caverns  of  the  earth,  and  how  sometimes,  in  spite 
of  everything  you  could  do,  the  water  would  turn  bad, 
and  then  no  power  on  earth  could  turn  it  back  again. 
Each  of  them  voted  unanimously  that  this  very  thing 
had  happened  to  neighbor  Babcock's  well,  and  that 
nothing  could  be  done  but  to  fill  it  up  and  dig  an- 
other. When  this  conclusion  had  been  emphasized 
by  various  punchings  with  their  oanes  in  the  ground, 
our  blind  neighbor,  having  felt  his  way  to  the  spot 
where  the  committee  had  just  pronounced  its  verdict, 
and  having  only  heard  the  dead-cat  theory,  enunciated 
as  follows  :  "  I  can  see  the  dead  cat  just  as  plain  as  can 
be.  The  water  has  turned  putrid  from  stagnation; 
that 's  the  dead  cat.  You  stir  it  up  weU  for  two  hours, 
and  the  water  will  be  just  as  sweet  as  ever." 

John  was  sent  down  to  try  it,  though  the  old  men 
advised  that  he  should  first  look  up  a  putrid  carcass  of 
some  kind,  and  stir  that  awhile,  to  see  whether  stirring 
such  things  would  sweeten  them.     But  the  man  took 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  315 

his  paddle  down  and  began.  At  the  end  of  half  an 
hour,  he  bawled  up,  "  She 's  all  right  now.  Send  down 
your  bucket  and  try  it." 

The  water  was  a  little  stale,  but  not  bad.  Another 
good  stir,  and  the  water  was  sweet.  Since  then  I  have 
advised  the  "  Movement  Cure  "  in  a  number  of  sick 
or  putrid  wells  and  cisterns,  and  with  uniform  success. 


DRINKING    IMPURE   "WATER. 

Set  a  pitcher  of  iced  water  in  an  occupied  room 
and  in  a  few  liours  it  will  have  absorbed  nearly  all  the 
perspired  gases  of  the  room,  the  air  of  which  will  have 
become  purer,  but  the  water  utterly  filthy.  This  de- 
pends on  the  fact  that  water  has  the  faculty  of  con- 
densing and  thereby  absorbing  nearly  all  the  gases, 
which  it  does  without  increasing  its  own  bulk.  The 
colder  the  water  is,  the  greater  its  capacity  to  contain 
these  gases.  At  ordinary  temperature,  a  pint  of  water 
will  contain  a  pint  of  carbonic-acid  gas  and  several  pints 
of  ammonia.  This  capacity  is  nearly  doubled  by  re- 
ducing the  temperature  to  that  of  ice.  Hence  water 
kept  in  the  room  awhile  is  always  unfit  for  use,  and 
should  be  often  removed,  whether  it  has  become  warm 
or  not.  That  which  has  stood  in  a  pitcher  overnight 
is  not  fit  for  coffee  water  in  the  morning.     Impure 


316  FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

water  is  more  injurious  to  health  than  impure  air,  and 
every  person  should  provide  the  means  of  obtaining 
fresh,  pure  water  for  all  domestic  uses. 


PET  IDEAS. 


Every  one  has  a  pet  idea  which  frequently  occurs 
to  him  and  lingers  long. 

My  pet  idea  is  this:  Local  affedioTis  in  our  bodies 
are  only  expressions  of  systemic  favXts.  "Whenever 
people  come  to  look  upon  their  pains  and  sores  as 
flags  of  distress  calling  attention  to  some  sickness 
pervading  the  system,  as  soon  as  they  fuUy  realize 
that  the  health  of  each  part  depends  upon  the  health 
of  the  whole,  then  sunshiiUj  temperance,  and  exercise  will 
become  the  popular  physicians. 


PREVENTION  BETTER  THAN  CURE. 

DuEiNG  the  year  1348  not  less  than  twenty-five 
millions  of  himian  beings  perished,  in  Europe  alone, 
from  the  Plague.  England  was  almost  depopulated. 
Various  preventive  measures  were  adopted.  One  much 
resorted  to  was  hanging  a  cross  on  each  house,  with 
"  God  have  mercy  on  us ! "  inscribed  upon  it.  Another 
means  in  which  those  wretched  populations  cherished 
unbounded  confidence  was  a  peculiar  employment  of 


FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS.  317 

prayers.  Ten  persons  cried,  "  God  have  mercy  on  us ! " 
all  at  one  time,  until  they  were  hoarse  and  exhausted. 
But  before  they  gave  out,  ten  others  began,  so  that  day 
and  night  the  cry  of  agony  ascended  unceasingly  to 
Heaven.  Meantime  their  yards  and  streets  were  hum- 
mocked  with  indescribable  filth.  Kitchen  offal,  dead 
cats  and  dogs,  and  every  other  conceivable  kind  of  filth, 
sent  up  a  reeking,  sickening  vapor.  In  reading  the 
history  of  those  fearful  times,  we  are  apt  to  think  that 
if,  in  addition  to  their  prayers,  they  had  cleaned  their 
houses  and  streets,  it  might  have  been  better.  Prayer 
is  a  good  thing,  but  as  a  means  of  preventing  the 
plague  or  cholera,  cleanliness  is,  to  say  the  least,  a 
very  important  adjunct. 

Pure  air  and  water  are  pretty  sure  preventives  of 
cholera.  Of  the  hosts  who  died  in  Buffalo  from  the 
cholera  of  1849  and  1851,  there  were  not  twenty-five 
cleanly,  intelligent  people.  A  peculiar  diarrhoea  known 
as  c/io^erme  attacked  our  better  class  of  native  citizens 
sometimes,  but,  with  the  exception  of  a  few  invalids 
and  old  people  among  this  class,  few  died  of  cholera. 
As  prevention  is  always  better  than  cure,  I  will  make 
some  important  suggestions. 

Clean  your  cellars,  and  distribute  lime  in  all  the 
corners  and  damp  places. 

Make  sure  of  your  drains,  traps,  cesspools,  and 
privies,  and  use  lime  and  copperas  freely. 


318  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Clean  your  yards  and  streets,  and  keep  them  clean. 
Use  lime  in  all  doubtful  places. 

Use  whitewash  all  about  your  houses,  your  passage- 
halls,  your  closets,  and  then  ventilate  thoroughly  day 
and  night. 

Keep  your  skins  clean  by  frequent  bathing,  and 
change  your  flannel  under-clothes  frequently. 

Let  your  diet  be  the  usual  beef,  mutton,  bread,  pota- 
toes, and  garden  vegetables,  though  cucumbers  are  not 
fit  to  eat  under  any  circumstances. 

Go  to  bed  early,  and,  in  brief,  take  care  of  yourself. 

The  cholera  is  a  blessing.  During  the  cholera  years, 
the  general  health  of  the  community  is  better  than 
usual,  because  of  the  more  thoughtful  attention  given 
to  personal  habits. 

I  remember  that,  in  a  short  street  in  Buffalo,  there 
was  one  large  old  house  occupied  by  twelve  poor 
families.  This  was  at  the  foot  of  a  sUght  elevation, 
while  in  the  next  street,  but  little  "removed,  there  were 
fourteen  neat  cottages,  occupied  mostly  by  thrifty 
mechanics.  During  the  cholera  season  there  were 
thirty-six  deaths  in  the  tenant-house,  —  the  largest 
mortality  in  any  house  in  the  city,  —  while  in  the  neat 
double  row  of  cottages  there  was  not  a  single  death. 
Cleanliness  and  a  judicious  diet  saved  the  mechanics. 
Nastiness,  whiskey,  and  a  bad  diet  kiUed  the  others. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  319 


NOT  HERE,  BUT  THERE. 

I  HAVE  no  doubt  that  pulmonary  consumption,  like 
all  other  chronic  diseases,  is  the  result  of  low  vitality, 
and  not  the  cause  of  it.  People  feel  their  skeleton  legs, 
and  then,  putting  their  hands  upon  their  chests,  they 
exclaim,  "  Here  it  is  !  Here  is  all  my  trouble  !  This  is 
what  is  killing  me ! " 

My  house  has  recently  been  troubled  with  a  drain 
odor.  It  came  from  a  hole  in  the  drain,  fiUed  the  whole 
basement  story,  and  finally  made  its  way  through  a 
small  opening  in  the  ceiling  into  the  room  above,  to 
the  infinite  disgust  of  a  lady  with  a  sensitive  nose. 
This  lady  made  a  great  fuss,  and  called  in  the  neighbors 
to  serve  on  a  smelling  committee.  The  committee, 
by  carefully  following  their  noses,  soon  found  the  open- 
ing from  which  the  sickening  odor  came.  As  soon  as  I 
returned  they  ran  to  me,  and  said,  "Come,  we  have 
found  it." 

"Found  what?"  I  said. 

They  explained,  and  then  hurried  me  to  the  hole  in 
the  floor,  and  said,  "  Put  your  nose  in  that  hole,  and  you 
wiU  see  where  the  trouble  is." 

I  did  as  I  was  directed,  and  agreed  with  them  that 
the  odor  came  through  that  opening.  But  knowing  the 
constitution  of  the  house,  I  said  at  once,  "  The  whole 


320  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

basement  is  full  of  this  disgusting  stench."  Running 
down  stairs  I  found  that  the  atmosphere  of  the  base- 
ment was  perfectly  sickening.  While  looking  for  the 
opening  in  tlie  drain  the  ladies  called  me  up  stairs,  and 
urged  that  I  should  stick  my  nose  in  the  hole  again,  for 
there  the  trouble  was,  they  were  sure.  So  I  \dbrated 
between  looking  for  the  hole  in  the  drain  below  and 
smelling  at  the  hole  above,  the  ladies  meantime  insist- 
ing that  the  hole  should  be  stopped  up  or  some  carbolic 
acid  poured  down. 

But  these  ladies  were  quite  as  wise  as  the  doctor  who 
thinks  he  finds  in  a  small  hole  in  the  lung  the  cause  of 
debility,  emaciation,  and  final  death.  It  is  only  the 
place  where  the  disease  shows  itself 


I  AM  surprised  that  the  wisdom  of  vaccination  should 
be  discussed.  If  the  choice  were  between  vaccination 
and  a  pleasant  picnic  or  a  glass  of  ice-cream,  I  should 
unhesitatingly  vote  against  vaccination.  But  since  the 
choice  is  between  vaccination  and  one  of  the  most  hor- 
rible, loathsome  diseases  known  to  man,  I  unhesitat- 
ingly vote  for  vaccination.  But  we  are  told  that  scrof- 
ula and  other  taints  are  transmitted  by  vaccination ;  it 
is  easy  to  secure  perfect  immunity  from  such  a  mis- 
fortune by  taking  the  virus  directly  from  the  cow,  as 
is  now  very  generally  done.     But  supposing  this  to  be 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  321 

impossible,  and  supposing  scrofula  is  transmitted  in  one 
case  in  a  hundred  or  in  fifty,  or  even  one  case  in  ten, 
still  I  should  be  vaccinated,  and  thank  God  for  even  such 
opportunity  to  escape  from  the  danger,  loathsomeness, 
and  scars  of  small-pox.  But  as  there  is  not  the  slightest 
necessity  for  exposing  one's  self  to  any  such  infection 
in  vaccination,  one  is  vexed  with  the  stupid  opposition 
to  it. 

Colds  :  how  to  cure  them.  —  Medicines  will  not 
cure  colds.  Opening  the  skin  is  important,  but  the 
principal  means  is  a  reduction  of  food.  You  have  eaten 
meat  twice  a  day.  Eat  none  for  two  or  three  days,  if 
the  cold  lasts  so  long.  Use  only  plain,  unstimulating, 
vegetable  food,  drink  plenty  of  cold  water  on  rising  and 
on  lying  down,  and  keep  your  legs  and  feet  warm  by 
friction  and  a  frequent  change  in  your  woollen  stock- 
ings, say  twice  a  day.     This  last  is  important. 


A  Hit  at  the  Doctors.  —  Dr.  0.  W.  Holmes,  in  his 
address  before  the  Massachusetts  Medical  Society,  says : 
"  Will  you  think  I  am  disrespectful  if  I  ask  whether 
even  in  Massachusetts  a  dose  of  calomel  is  not  some- 
times given  by  a  physician  on  the  same  principle  as 
that  upon  which  a  landlord  occasionally  prescribes  bacon 
and  eggs,  —  because  he  cannot  think  of  anything  else 
quite  so  handy  ? " 

14* 


322  FIVE-MINUTE  CHA  TS. 


ELEGANT  MISERY. 

The  gout  is  a  most  respectable  disease.  Even  Mr. 
Spurgeon  seems  not  to  be  ashamed  of  it.  In  all  ages  it 
has  been  regarded  as  the  most  aristocratic  of  maladies, 
even  more  so  than  deliriiim-tremens,  though  I  see  no 
reason  why  it  should  be.  A  decent  temperance  will 
prevent  them  both.  It  certainly  can't  be  a  dream  that 
the  time  wlE  come  when  the  excessive  indulgence  of 
passion  or  appetite  will  involve  disgrace.  It  does  even 
now,  if  the  sinner  be  a  woman ;  and  the  number  who 
look  upon  such  a  weakness  or  vice  even  in  men  as  con- 
temptible is  rapidly  multiplying.  Nothing  but  the  best 
possible  use  of  all  our  faculties  will  satisfy  the  coming 
public  sentiment.  And  as  nothing  is  so  potent  as 
public  sentiment,  which  is  but  another  word  for  fashion, 
we  all  heartily  join  in  the  prayer,  "  God  hasten  the  day." 


ALL  GUESS-WORK. 

The  grave  and  learned  discussions  which  sometimes 
agitate  our  medical  societies  as  to  whether  this  or  tliat 
drug  should  be  given  in  some  particular  disease  reminds 
me  of  the  old  story  of  the  little  Dutchman  who  "  set 
up  for  a  doctor "  in  New  Orleans,  and  it  involves  so 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  323 

much  of  an  important  law  in  health  as  well  as  disease, 
that  I  repeat  it.  It  seems  that  a  small  Dutchman  had 
been  engaged  in  the  lager-beer  profession,  but  had 
failed.  He  cast  about  for  a  new  occupation.  The  yel- 
low fever  had  just  appeared,  and  it  occurred  to  him  that 
it  might  pay  to  "  set  up  for  a  doctor."  There  was  no 
time  for  books,  and  so  he  resolved  to  study  at  the  bed- 
side of  the  sick,  keeping  a  little  memorandum.  His 
first  case  was  a  Dutchman  who  had  the  fever  pretty 
badly,  but  longed  for  sauer  krout.  The  doctor  pre- 
scribed sauer  krout.  The  Dutchman  got  well.  The 
doctor  wrote  in  his  little  memorandum,  "  Sauer  krout 
will  cure  a  Dutchman  of  yellow  fever."  His  next  case 
of  yellow  fever  was  a  Frenchman.  Sauer  krout  was 
prescribed.  The  Frenchman  took  on  the  black-vomit 
at  once  and  died.  The  doctor  added  after  his  first 
record,  "  but  will  kill  a  Frenchman." 


A  WIT  replied  to  a  French  physician  who  was  mar- 
velling how  a  certain  abb(^  came  to  die,  since  he  himself 
and  three  other  physicians  were  unremitting  in  their 
attentions,  "  My  dear  doctor,  how  could  the  poor  abb^ 
sustain  himself  against  all  four  of  you  ?  " 


A  LADY  asked  a  physician  if  snuff  was  injurious  to 
the  brains.  "  No,"  said  he,  "  for  nobody  who  has  any 
brains  ever  takes  snuff." 


324  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


SEA-SICKNESS. 

Sea-sickness  is  an  affection  of  the  brain.  You  may 
take  twenty  doses  to  settle  your  stomach;  it  won't 
settle,  but  five  minutes'  sleep  will  settle  it.  This 
proves  it  to  be  an  affection  of  the  brain.  The  various 
nostrums  provided  for  the  nausea  are  worthless.  The 
best  treatment  is  simple  food  free  from  grease,  a  little 
lemonade,  and  lying  on  deck  flat  on  your  back.  The 
only  cure  is  time.  Some  persons  are  incorrigible. 
Charles  Sumner  and  Henry  Ward  Beecher  suffered 
from  shore  to  shore.  The  best  treatment  for  such  per- 
sons is  to  stay  at  home. 

One  thing  about  sea-sickness  is  very  curious.  While 
you  are  suffering,  you  wish  you  were  at  the  bottom  of 
the  sea;  when  you  are  ashore,  you  forget  about  it, 
laugh  at  it,  and  are  ready  to  go  again. 


Attacks  of  bilious  colic  would  be  prevented,  I  be- 
lieve, by  a  little  care  in  eating.  I  think  an  avoidance 
of  all  desserts,  and  eating  but  two  meals  a  day,  the  last 
one  somewhere  in  the  middle  of  the  day,  would  pre- 
vent all  return  of  the  trouble.  Besides  this,  liave  a 
little  exercise  in  the  open  air  every  day. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  325 


TURKISH  AND  RUSSIAN  BATHS. 

A  GENTLEMAN  (Mr.  Wilcox)  died  at  a  Russian  batli 
establishment  in  New  York,  recently.  At  the  post- 
mortem, the  eminent  Dr.  Willard  Parker,  in  that  large- 
hearted,  philosophical  spirit  which  has  characterized 
the  attitude  of  the  medical  profession  toward  all 
hygienic  and  medical  innovations,  testified  before  the 
jury  that  Mr.  Wilcox  was  killed  hy  a  Turkish  lath  ! 
Dr.  Parker  SWORE  to  that! 

Now  it  turns  out, — 

1.  That  Mr.  Wilcox  had  not  been  within  a  mile  of  a 
Turkish  bath. 

2.  That  he  entered  the  parlor  of  a  building  where 
there  was  a  Russian  bath,  hut  did  not  enter  the  hath 
at  all  !  He  complained  of  a  distress  in  his  chest,  the 
men  were  called,  his  legs  were  rubbed,  he  rose  and  tried 
to  walk  about,  fainted  and  died. 

3.  Upon  a  thorough  examination  it  was  found  that 
the  man  really  died  of  disease  of  the  heart. 

The  papers  all  over  the  country,  with  a  laudable  de- 
sire to  disseminate  useful  information,  and  warn  the 
public  against  danger,  are  sounding  the  alarm. 

What  is  a  Turkish  bath  ?  First,  the  skin  is  warmed ; 
not  by  steam,  but  by  warm  air.  Does  it  hurt  the  body 
to  expose  it  to  warm  air?     Suppose  the  air  is  110° 


326  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

and  the  ventilation  perfect.  Will  that  hurt  the  fee- 
blest person  ?  On  the  contrary,  will  not  this  tempera- 
ture prove  most  agreeable  and  refreshing?  This  is 
followed  by  skilled  hand-rubbing.  Is  skilled  rubbing, 
with  soft,  warm  hands,  a  deadly  performance  ?  Is  it 
not,  on  the  contrary,  the  very  thing  we  do  for  the  fee- 
blest and  faintest  ?  When  the  hand-rubbing  is  finished, 
the  bather  is  conducted,  or  carried,  if  need  be,  to  a  soft 
couch,  where  he  reclines,  rests,  and,  if  possible,  sleeps. 
Is  this  sure  to  prove  fatal  ? 

If  a  consumptive  is  likely  to  die  to-night,  and  three 
Turkish  baths  were  given  him  to-day,  he  will  probably 
go  on  for  some  days.  The  weakest  and  most  delicate 
ladies  are  of  all  persons  the  most  happily  affected  by 
the  bath. 

The  Turkish  bath  is  making  rapid  progress  in 
America.  Many  hundred  medical  men  have  already 
given  in  their  adherence. 

In  the  hot-air,  or  Turkish  bath,  persons  who  are  dull 
and  sore,  those  suffering  with  colds,  the  victims  of 
rheumatism,  and  those  who  are  suffering  from  any  of 
the  ordinary  troubles  of  the  liver  or  kidneys,  find  re- 
Hef. 

The  number  of  Turkish-bath  institutions  in  Great 
Britain  has  become  very  large. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  327 


A  WISE  SURGEON. 

Sir  John  Fife,  M.  D.,  senior  surgeon  to  the  great 
Newcastle  Infirmary,  one  of  the  largest  in  the  world, 
enthusiastically  declares,  in  speaking  of  the  treatment 
of  rheumatism  by  the  bath :  "  Some  with  their  joints 
much  swollen,  and  suffering  martyrdom,  were  conveyed 
helpless  into  the  bath,  as  into  the  elysium  where  ache 
and  pain  vanish."  And  again.  Sir  John  writes,  "  Its 
effects  are  most  remarkable  in  obviating  disorders  and 
palliating  diseases  of  the  liver  and  kidneys."  The 
eminent  author,  Gosse,  of  Geneva,  affirms,  "  It  is  the 
real  panacea  for  the  larger  portion  of  the  diseases  which 
assail  mankind." 


LiVEE  Complaint.  —  For  your  torpid  liver  go  with- 
out grease  in  your  food,  bathe  your  skin  every  morning 
on  rising,  and  follow  the  bathing  with  sharp  friction 
with  the  roughest  towel,  and,  if  you  can  bear  it,  with 
the  flesh-brush  also.  Beating  the  body  in  the  region 
of  the  liver  with  the  flat  of  the  hand  or  with  the  fists 
is  excellent.  General  gymnastic  exercises  are  always 
advisable  in  what  is  known  as  liver  complaint. 


328  FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


FOMENTATIONS. 


Hippocrates  recommends  hot  fomentations  for  the 
relief  of  chest,  abdominal,  and  other  pains.  From  his 
time  down  to  the  present,  hot  fomentations  have  been 
the  favorite  remedy  for  a  great  variety  of  affections. 
If  I  were  asked  to  select  from  all  possible  methods  of 
treatment  one,  and  one  alone,  with  which  I  would  un- 
dertake to  combat  human  suffering,  without  a  moment's 
hesitation  I  should  select  hot  fomentations.  For  pains 
in  the  spine  and  shoulders,  for  pains  in  the  head,  for 
pains  in  the  chest,  stomach,  and  abdomen,  for  pains  in 
the  limbs,  for  pains  in  any  and  every  part  of  the  body, 
hot  fomentations  constitute  the  best  single  remedy. 

The  old-fashioned  method  with  flannels  wrung  out 
of  hot  water  is  perhaps  the  best  method. 

A  happy  way  of  protecting  the  nurse's  hands  is  to 
dip  the  flannel  in  boiling  water;  then  lay  it  upon  a 
towel,  roll  the  towel  and  wring  it. 

The  nurse  who  understands  the  hot-fomentation  art, 
and  applies  it  industriously,  will  accomplish  ten  times 
as  much  as  the  doctor  with  all  his  drugs. 

In  addition  to  the  benefits  resulting  from  this  rem- 
edy, it  is  one  of  the  pleasantest  imaginable  in  its  ap- 
plication. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  329 


COLD  BATHS. 

Twenty  years  ago  the  cold-water  mania  came  near 
sousing  and  freezing  us  to  death.  Everybody  had  to 
drink  and  douche.  Pale,  delicate  women  in  the  hy- 
dropathic cures  or  freezers,  stood  under  cold  water,  sat 
down  in  cold  water,  lay  down  in  cold  water,  and  were 
wrapped  up  in  cold  water.  In  addition,  they  fiUed 
their  stomachs  with  cold  water.  Pale,  shrunken,  shiv- 
ering, they  moved  about  spectre-like,  and  with  chatter- 
ing teeth  described  to  each  other  the  effects  of  the  last 
douche.  Bridget,  when  asked  about  her  absent  mis- 
tress, said  "  she  had  gone  to  soak."  A  writer,  in 
describing  the  great  institution  of  Priessnitz  in  the 
mountains,  says  tliat  he  met  here  and  there  in  the 
mountain-paths  numbers  of  bareheaded,  half-dressed, 
comfortably  crazy  people,  wandering  about  from  spring 
to  spring,  each  with  a  tumbler  in  his  hand,  mournfully 
repeating  the  number  of  tumblers  of  water  he  had  swal- 
lowed. From  this  dangerous  excess  there  has  been  a 
great  reaction,  and  now  there  is  a  general  disposition  to 
condemn  cold-water  bathing.  Both  are  extremes.  A 
morning  cold  bath  is  a  most  important  habit.  "We 
don't  believe  there  is  one  person  in  a  hundred  who 
would  be  injured  by  a  morning  cold  bath.  But  every- 
thing depends  upon  the  manner  in  Avhich  it  is  taken. 


330  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

If  a  feeble  person  in  a  cold  room  crawls  into  a  bath  of 
cold  water,  and  remains  till  he  can't  speak  loud  and  is 
in  a  deep  collapse,  and  then  rising  stands  by  an  open 
window  and  rubs  himself  gently  for  half  an  hour,  he 
will  be  seriously  hurt.  But  if  one  of  the  rubber  bath- 
mats  be  thrown  upon  the  carpet,  and  even  a  delicate 
person  rises  quickly,  throws  off  the  night-garment, 
steps  into  the  mat,  slips  the  hands  into  a  pair  of  bath- 
mittens,  and  passes  them  as  quickly  as  possible  over 
every  part  of  the  person,  and  follows  with  a  crash  towel 
as  quickly  and  vigorously  as  the  hands  can  be  made  to 
move,  that  is  quite  a  different  thing,  and  must  in- 
variably act  as  an  excellent  tonic.  Old  and  feeble 
people  should  not  bathe  in  very  cold  water,  and  should 
bathe  in  a  warm  room  and  have  some  one  to  assist 
them. 

It  has  been  reported  that  intelligent  physicians  have 
cautioned  against  frequent  bathing,  lest  the  skin-oil 
should  be  removed  and  leave  the  surface  too  dry.  The 
only  way  to  provoke  a  free  secretion  of  the  oil  of  the 
skin  is  to  remove  the  accumulations  frequently.  Even 
in  the  days  of  excessive  bathing,  and  among  the  laborers 
in  Turkish  baths,  we  have  never  met  a  lack  of  this  oil, 
while  it  is  common  to  meet  a  dry  and  cracked  skin 
among  those  who  never  bathe.  The  glands  which 
furnish  oil  for  the  skin,  like  those  which  furnish  saliva 
for  the  mouth,  are  active  only  when  frequently  called 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  331 

upon.  If  the  salivary  glands  were  not  called  into 
action  for  a  month,  they  would  almost  lose  their  func- 
tion. Frequent  baths  increase  greatly  the  oily  secre- 
tions of  the  skin. 


MY  MEDICINE,  AND   HOW  TO  FIND  TIME  TO 
TAKE  IT. 

John  Smith,  a  book-keeper,  asks  what  he  shall  do. 
Dyspepsia,  nervousness,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing  have 
got  hold  of  him.  He  has  no  time  to  get  the  fresh  air, 
no  time  to  exercise,  no  time  for  anything,  in  fact ;  and 
would  I  advise  him  to  change  his  occupation  ? 

"  John  Smith,  what  time  are  you  due  in  the  count- 
ing-room in  the  morning  ?  " 

"  About  half  past  eight." 

"  Could  you  put  it  off  till  nine  ? " 

"  Well,  perhaps  so,  if  I  did  n't  let  my  work  get  be- 
hindhand." 

And  you  want  to  know  whether  you  had  better 
change  your  business  ?  I  advise  you  against  this.  A 
man  should  not  change  his  occupation  lightly,  and  you, 
John  Smith,  need  not  change  yours  on  account  of  your 
health.  If  your  counting-room  is  light,  the  business  is 
a  healthy  one.  Book-keepers  may  be  as  healthy  as 
cartmen,  if  they  are  willing  to  embrace  their  opportu- 
nities.    Now,  listen  to  me.     You  are  occupied,  say. 


332  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

eight  hours  a  day  as  a  book-keeper.  More  ?  Well,  say 
nine  hours.  This  leaves  fifteen  hours.  You  are  in  bed 
eight  hours.  Now  you  have  seven  left  for  meals  and 
recreation.  Let  us  take  only  two  for  meals,  and  that  is 
abundant.  Now,  there  are  five  hours  left  for  recreation, 
and  yet,  John  Smith,  you  think  you  have  no  time  for  ex- 
ercise and  healthful  amusements.  Two  hours  are  quite 
enough  for  the  exercise  and  out-door  life  which  will  keep 
you  in  high  health,  and  then  you  will  have  three  hours 
left  for  social  enjoyment,  saying  nothing  of  the  entire 
day,  Sunday.  Let  me  tell  you  how  to  manage  it,  and  I 
will  promise  that  the  advice  I  am  about  to  give  you  is 
exactly  adapted  to  half  the  population  of  the  city. 

1st.  You  must  retire  at  nine  o'clock  every  night. 

2d.  During  the  spring,  summer,  and  autumn  you 
must  rise  at  five  o'clock.  During  the  winter,  at  six 
o'clock. 

3d.  Beginning  moderately,  you  will  soon  enjoy  two 
hours  of  out-door  walking  and  recreation  before  break- 
fast. Ninety-nine  persons  in  a  hundred,  including  both 
sexes,  between  ten  and  sixty  years  of  age,  will,  if  they 
begin  the  early  morning  exercise  gently  and  prudently, 
within  three  months  rejoice  over  a  happy  change  in 
their  health  and  spirits,  and  they  will  mourn  over  the 
great  loss  for  so  many  years  of  those  precious  hours  of 
the  early  morning. 

This  is  the  only  door  of  escape  for  that  host  of  in- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  333 

door  workers  who  lament  so  constantly  over  their  un- 
happy choice  of  occupation.  As  civilization  progresses, 
the  proportion  of  our  population  that  can  follow  out-door 
occupations  must  become  smaller  and  smaller.  But  if 
the  rooms  in  which  they  work  can  be  well  lighted  and 
ventilated,  this  need  not  be,  especially  if  they  can  have 
two  hours  of  the  early  morning  for  out-door  recreation 
and  exercise.  The  proportion  of  persons  who  cannot 
enjoy  this  privilege  is  very  small,  always  provided  that 
during  the  first  few  weeks  there  is  great  prudence. 
Then  the  stomach  will  begin  to  perform  its  functions 
in  a  new  and  happy  way,  and  the  spirits  will  rise. 

Of  course,  if  you  prefer  to  dawdle  about  in  the  sick- 
ening atmosphere  of  a  theatre  till  nearly  midnight,  you 
can't  rise  early  in  the  morning.  But  I  was  not  speak- 
ing to  such.  I  was  addressing  persons  who  have  in- 
door occupations,  and  who  would  really  desire  good 
health,  and  who  are  willing  to  sacrifice  even  the  luxury 
of  sitting  up  till  midnight,  lounging  and  loafing  about 
here  and  there. 


AN  IDEAL  LIFE. 


The  clergyman's  life  is  an  ideal  one,  health-wise. 
He  uses  his  voice  a  good  deal,  which  is  the  healthiest 
of  all  exercises,  and  spends  the  afternoon  in  walking 
about  and  visiting  his  parishioners.     The  morning  he 


334  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

devotes  to  study.  He  is  not  confined  to  his  office,  like 
a  lawyer,  nor  obliged  to  run  about  at  night  like  a  doc- 
tor. Indeed,  I  know  of  no  profession  or  occupation 
which  so  favors  health  and  long  life  ;  and  yet  clergymen 
are  not,  as  a  class,  particularly  healthy  or  long-lived. 
The  reason  for  it  is  to  be  found,  as  a  general  thing,  in 
their  abuse  of  the  table.  A  popular  clergyman  is  a 
miracle  of  self-denial  if  he  does  not  fall  into  the  surfeit- 
trap. 

That  a  clergj'man's  sore  throat  should  come  of  using 
his  voice  two  or  three  hours  a  week  in  preaching,  is 
simply  absurd.  There  is  something  behind  the  preach- 
ing which  has  prepared  the  train, —  the  preaching 
touches  it  off. 

We  have  sneered  at  the  pulpit  which  finds  in  the 
Bible  support  for  the  sins  of  the  pews.  It  is  indeed  a 
guilty  weakness,  which  deserves  contempt  and  severe 
condemnation.  My  own  profession  contains  not  a  few 
persons  who  prescribe  a  rich  diet  and  whiskey  for  the 
same  reason.  The  present  treatment  of  consumption 
is  an  instance.  The  patient's  pnlse  is  a  hundred  ;  rich 
food  and  whiskey  are  sure  to  increase  it,  and  in  the  end 
make  recovery  impossible.  But  the  prescription  is 
agreeable,  and  if  A  do  not  make  it,  B  will,  and  A  will 
lose  his  patient.  The  temptation  to  take  the  patient 
into  one's  confidence,  and  learn  ^what  would  be  most 
agreeable  to  him,  is  very  strong.     The  other  day  I  was 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  335 

in  the  office  of  my  neighbor,  Dr. ,  and  was  obliged 

to  sit  aside  while  he  spoke  with  a  patient.  The  patient 
told  him  about  her  head  and  her  habits ;  nothing  could 
be  plainer  than  that  the  coffee  was  playing  the  mis- 
chief with  her  head. 

Doctor.   "  Are  you  very  fond  of  coffee  ? " 

Patient.  "  0  doctor,  I  could  not  eat  a  breakfast 
without  it !     It  is  my  food  as  well  as  my  drink." 

Then  the  doctor  proceeded  to  prescribe  an  alterative 
which  should  move  her  bowels  daily,  and  a  preparation 
of  iron.     Not  a  word  of  condemnation  of  coffee. 

I  asked  him,  when  the  patient  had  left,  why  he  did 
not  cut  off  the  coffee  and  really  cure  her. 

"Why,"  said  the  doctor,  "if  I  had  forbidden  the 
coffee,  she  would  have  gone  off  to  another  physician, 
who  w^ould  have  probably  hurt  her  worse  than  I  shall." 

What  say  you  as  to  the  dignity  of  the  profession  in 
the  hands  of  such  doctors  ? 


THE  HEALTH  LIFT. 

The  advocates  of  "The  Health  Lift"  are  engaged  in 
a  good  work,  but  they  defend  it  with  certain  statements 
and  assumptions  which,  to  say  the  least,  are  gratuitous. 
Among  these  statements  I  notice  the  following :  The 
muscle,  when  contracted  in  "  lifting,"  absorbs  immense 


336  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

quantities  of  blood,  "sucks  it  up  like  a  sponge." 
What  is  intended  by  this  statement  is,  that  this  rapid 
absorption  attends  "lifting"  exercises  particularly. 

Again  it  is  stated  that  muscle  in  a  state  of  con- 
traction "absorbs  oxygen  six  times  as  fast"  as  in  a 
state  of  relaxation.  Show  this  to  any  one  of  our  in- 
telligent physiologists,  and  he  would  smile,  and  wonder 
how  "  six  times  as  fast "  was  arrived  at. 

Another  writer  discusses  exercise  in  general,  and  pre- 
sents the  case  well ;  but  then  he  assumes  that  all  these 
advantages  are  to  be  credited  to  lifting,  as  though  that 
were  the  only  possible  exercise.  There  are  five  hun- 
dred muscles  in  the  human  body,  and  they  run  in 
every  conceivable  direction,  crosswise,  diagonally, — 
every  way.  I  had  always  supposed  that  this  peculiar 
arrangement  of  the  muscle  structure  meant  something. 
In  all  ages,  the  physiologists  who  have  given  them- 
selves to  the  training  of  muscle  have  devised  a  great 
variety  of  movements  to  call  into  play  these  five  hun- 
dred muscles ;  but  the  advocates  of  lifting  have  found 
out  that  the  way  to  develop  this  varied  muscle  struc- 
ture is  to  stand  still,  hang  the  arms  down  by  the  sides, 
hold  a  stick  between  the  legs,  bend  the  knees  a  very 
little,  grasp  the  stick,  and  then  straighten  the  legs. 
To  develop  a  horse  by  piling  a  great  weight  on  his 
back,  and  letting  him  stand  still  and  hold  up  the 
weight,  would  certainly  tend  to  strengthen  the  animal. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  337 

but  it  would  not  be  the  best  method  of  doing  it;  a 
variety  of  movements  would  prove  better.  If  a  man 
would  train  himself  for  any  task,  —  for  the  prize-ring, 
for  walking,  for  boating,  for  any  conceivable  work,  —  if, 
in  other  words,  he  would  train  his  muscles,  he  must 
perform  such  a  variety  of  exercises  as  will  bring  them 
all  into  play.  Surely  no  one  but  the  owner  of  a  lift- 
ing-machine would  suppose  that  this  could  be  accom- 
plished by  standing  still  and  lifting  a  weight  through 
the  space  of  an  inch  without  moving  the  legs  or  arms 
from  their  straight  fixed  posture,  and  without  bending 
the  back  or  neck,  or,  indeed,  making  any  motion  what- 
ever which  could  be  seen  at  the  distance  of  a  few  feet. 


EATING  TOO  MUCH. 

Ten  persons  die  prematurely  of  too  much  food  where 
one  dies  of  drink.  Thousands  eat  themselves  into 
fever,  bowel  disease,  dyspepsia,  throat  affections,  and 
other  maladies. 

Some  years  ago,  the  residents  of  a  German  city  were 
one  morning  wild  with  excitement.  Everybody  was 
poisoned.  The  doctors  were  flying  in  every  direction. 
Water  was  the  only  thing  they  had  swallowed  in 
common.  The  reservoir  was  examined.  In  one  corner 
a  paper  of  deadly  poison  was  found. 

15 


338  FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

The  stomach  is  the  reservoir  which  supplies  the 
whole  body.  A  fever,  an  inflammation,  or  some  other 
malady  appears.  Look  to  the  reservoir.  There  you 
will  find  the  source  of  the  disease. 

I  am  acquainted  with  the  table  habits  of  a  large 
number  of  persons.  They  have  all  eaten  too  much 
food.  Nearly  all,  too  much  in  quantity,  but  all  have 
eaten  food  too  highly  concentrated.  Yesterday,  I  saw 
a  dyspeptic  friend  eating  pears  at  a  fruit-stand.  He 
said,  with  a  smile,  "  I  go  a  few  Bartletts  half  a  dozen 
times  a  day."  Certain  dietetic  reformers  seem  to  think 
if  they  eat  coarse  bread  and  ripe  fruits,  a  peck  is  all 
right.  Fine  flour  bread,  pies,  and  cakes  are  great 
evils. 

A  friend  who  has  decayed  teeth,  dyspepsia,  torpidity 
of  liver,  and  a  disagreeable  eruption,  all  produced  by 
excessive  eating  of  improper  food,  declared  in  response 
to  my  remonstrance,  "But  I  never  eat  more  than  I 
want."  Every  person  luants  the  quantity  he  is  in  the 
habit  of  eating.  If  he  could  digest  well  two  pounds 
a  day,  but  eat  four  pounds,  he  ivants  the  latter  quan- 
tity. A  man  may  want  a  glass  of  spirits  on  rising. 
He  is  in  the  habit  of  drinking  at  that  time. 

The  body  is  strengthened  by  what  it  can  digest  and 
assimilate.  Every  ounce  more  than  this  is  mischiev- 
ous. The  large  eater  is  always  hungry.  The  man 
who  eats  just  enough  suffers  little  from  hunger. 


m 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  339 

Pardon  a  word  of  my  own  experience.  During 
many  years'  practice  of  my  profession,  I  had  but  little 
muscular  exercise.  I  ate  enormously.  An  hour's  post- 
ponement of  my  dinner  was  painful.  Now  I  labor 
very  hard  several  hours  a  day  in  my  gymnasium.  I 
do  not  eat  more  than  a  tliird  the  quantity  of  former 
years.  Now  I  can  omit  a  dinner  altogether  without 
inconvenience.  I  have  lost  twenty  pounds  in  weight, 
but  feel  a  great  deal  younger.  (More  than  half  of  the 
thin  people  would  gain  flesh  by  eating  less.)  I  have 
only  one  dietetic  rule  from  which  I  never  depart.  This 
rule,  kind  reader,  I  commend  to  you.  Always  take  on 
your  'plate,  'before  you  begin,  everything  you  are  to  eat. 
Thus  you  avoid  the  dessert,  and  are  pretty  sure  not 
to  eat  too  much.  This  simple  rule  has  been  worth 
thousands  to  me. 


Yes,  I  think  there  are  persons  who  eat  too  little ;  but 
where  there  is  one  such,  there  are  hundreds  who  eat 
too  much.  And  when  in  this  country  of  plenty  a  per- 
son is  found  who  eats  too  little,  it  is,  generally  speaking, 
by  eating  fine  flour  bread  and  other  innutritions  trash. 
Fine  flour  bread  is  but  little  better  than  sawdust.  If 
you  eat  oatmeal,  cracked  wheat,  and  beef,  you  wiU  be 
surprised  to  find  how  little  food  you  require  to  run  the 
machine. 


? 


340  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


THE  PROGRESS  OF  OATMEAL. 

The  following  extract  from  the  "  American  Grocer " 
is  especially  gratifying  to  all  who  are  interested  in  the 
health  of  the  people  :  — 

"  Perhaps  in  no  department  of  the  grocery  trade  has 
the  increase  of  late  years  been  more  apparent  than  in 
that  of  oatmeal.  As  an  article  of  diet  it  is  now  used 
very  generally  in  the  Eastern,  Middle,  and  "Western 
States,  and  is  fast  making  inroads  into  the  hitherto 
undisputed  domain  of  Indian-meal  in  tlie  South  and 
Southwest.  This  is  certainly  a  fit  cause  for  general 
congratulation,  for  no  more  healthy  or  nutritious  food 
exists  than  good  oatmeal  porridge.  Its  mild,  aperient, 
and  unequalled  muscle-producing  qualities  render  it 
particularly  suitable  as  a  breakfast  diet  for  Americans. 
Its  phosphorescent  qualities  act  as  a  gentle  and  healthy 
stimulant  to  the  brain,  and  on  no  other  food  can  one 
endure  so  great  or  so  prolonged  mental  labor  as  on  oat- 
meal porridge. 

"  Properly  cooked,  it  is  not  only  a  most  healthful  and 
nutritious  food,  but  it  is  decidedly  palatable,  as  is  fully 
attested  by  its  wonderfully  rapid  adoption  as  a  popular 
diet  by  the  very  fastidious  palates  of  our  American 
people.  '  The  halesome  parritch,  cliief  o'  Scotia's  food,' 
to  which  Burns  refers  in  the  '  Cotter's  Saturday  Night,' 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  341 

can  be  had  in  its  greatest  perfection  from  Scotch  oat- 
meal, for  of  Scotland  we  may  say  it  is  indeed  the 
national  food.  Ireland,  too,  produces  good  oatmeal. 
But  our  chief  supplies  are  drawn  from  the  neighboring 
Dominion  of  Canada,  which  for  years  has  stood  pre- 
eminent for  the  quality  of  the  meal  which  she  produces, 
vying  with  the  mother  country  for  the  palm  of  excel- 
lence, and,  in  at  least  one  International  Exhibition,^ 
carrying  off  the  badge  of  victory  from  the  'Land  o' 
Cakes.'  Here,  too,  in  the  United  States,  we  are  manu- 
facturing this  article  to  some  extent,  and  it  will  in 
course  of  time,  no  doubt,  become  an  important  industry, 
though  the  inferior  quality  of  our  oats  militates  mate- 
rially against  it.  The  analysis  of  the  Imperial  Scotch 
oatmeal,  made  by  the  eminent  chemists  Liebig  and 
Hassell,  shows  that  while  wheat  and  barley  contain  but 
fourteen,  and  corn  but  twelve  and  a  quarter,  oats  con- 
tain within  a  very  small  fraction  of  twenty  per  cent  of 
the  nutritious  protean  elements  of  life  and  muscle- 
giving  qualities.  As  a  food,  the  merits  of  which  have 
stood  the  test  of  centuries,  and  which  is  calculated  to 
promote  the  sanitary  interests  of  the  nation  by  laying 
the  foundation  for  more  hardy  and  vigorous  constitu- 
tions for  the  coming  generation,  let  us  regard  its  gen- 
eral adoption  as  an  article  of  diet  as  nothing  short  of 
a  national  good." 

I,  who  have  given  most  attention  to  oatmeal  as  an 


342  FIVE -MINUTE  CHATS. 

article  of  diet,  would  not  agree  with  the  writer  in  the 
opinion  that  the  Scotch  and  Irish  meal  are  the  best  in 
this  market,  nor  indeed  that  the  Canadas  produce  the 
best.  Boston  has  been  supplied  for  the  last  year  or 
two  with  an  article  of  oatmeal  from  Central  Ohio,  which 
is  the  best  I  have  ever  eaten.  It  costs  about  one 
third  as  much  as  the  imported  meal,  but  for  my  own 
part,  I  should  greatly  prefer  it  at  the  same  price. 


HOW  TO  PREPARE  CUCUMBERS. 

Strong  people  may  eat  cucumbers  in  small  quanti- 
ties, but  it  is  a  severe  trial  to  a  weak  stomach,  and  is 
far  from  a  good  thing  for  even  the  best  stomach.  I 
quite  agree  with  the  celebrated  Dr.  Abernethy,  who 
gives  the  following  directions  for  preparing  a  cucum- 
ber :  "  Peel  it,  slice  it  down  into  thin  pieces,  put  vine- 
gar and  pepper  to  it,  and  then  throw  it  away." 


PIGS  AND  PEOPLE. 

We  want  to  show  you  two  animals.  One  has  four 
legs.  They  caU  him  a  pig.  We  want  you  to  see  him 
eat.  Now,  when  that  feUow  gets  enough,  he  '11  stop. 
There  !  he  won't  eat  another  mouthful  You  can't 
coax  him  to  do  it. 


p 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  343 

Let  us  look  at  another.  They  call  this  one  a  man. 
Watch  him.  He  is  at  breakfast.  He  looks  this  way 
and  that.  He  can't  see  anything  that  he  wants.  Now 
he  tries  a  mouthful  of  strong  coffee ;  that  won't  fetch  it. 
He  tries  a  spoonful  of  catsup ;  that 's  a  failure.  ISTow 
he  tries  a  mixture  of  mustard  and  vinegar.  At  length 
things  begin  to  work  a  little,  and  he  is  finally  able  to 
cram  a  lot  of  griddle-cakes  and  sausage,  and  sausage 
and  griddle-cakes,  and  two  or  three  cups  of  strong 
coffee,  into  his  stomach.  "Which  do  you  vote  for  ?  I 
vote  for  the  gentleman  with  four  legs. 


Buckwheat  produces  irritation  of  the  skin  within  an 
hour  after  eating  it  in  many  people,  and  I  think  tends 
to  a  production  of  a  humor  in  most  persons.  Then  the 
form  in  which  it  is  eaten,  hot  cakes  with  butter  and 
syrup,  is  not  a  healthy  form  of  eating  any  kind  of  flour. 
If  you  ask  my  advice,  I  should  say  avoid  buckwheat 
griddle-cakes ;  I  do  not  say  that  such  food  is  very  bad, 
but  it  is  far  from  the  best. 


SWINE'S   FLESH. 


There  is  no  doubt  that  pork  fattened  in  the  usual 
way,  in  a  close,  foul  pen,  giving  the  animals  no  exercise 
or  pure  air,  and  feeding  them  on  swill  or  still  slops,  is 


344  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

very  bad  meat.  Swine  fattened  as  iu  the  South,  the 
animals  running  wild  in  the  woods,  living  on  nuts  and 
other  sweet,  pure  foods,  and  being  so  active,  even  when 
tliey  are  killed  for  use,  tliat  they  must  be  hunted  with 
the  aid  of  swift  horses  and  long-range  rifles,  —  the  flesh 
of  such  swine  is  quite  another  affair.  I  think,  how- 
ever, that  no  physiologist  would  claim  that  such  pork 
even  is  equal  to  beef  and  mutton  for  the  human 
stomach. 


WEAK  STOMACHS. 

Persons  with  "weak  stomachs"  may  eat  a  little 
ripe  melon  at  the  end  of  a  meal  without  harm,  but  it  is 
difficult  of  digestion.  Nothing  in  human  diet  has  been 
so  overrated  as  fruit.  All  sorts  of  fruit  —  apples,  pears, 
peaches,  even  strawberries  —  are  difficult  of  digestion. 
A  dyspeptic,  who  can  eat  a  piece  of  good  beefsteak  as 
large  as  his  hand,  and  two  slices  of  bread-and-butter, 
without  suffering,  will  often  be  distressed  with  a  single 
apple,  or  even  a  dish  of  strawberries.  Melons  are  not 
unwholesome,  if  ripe  and  taken  at  the  close  of  a  meal ; 
but  it  would  be  better,  if  your  stomach  be  weak,  to  take 
a  little  more  beef,  or  bread-and-butter,  or  another  dish 
of  oatmeal  or  cracked  wheat,  or  other  similar  food. 
Baked  apples  do  very  well,  but  sensitive  stomachs  do 
not  digest  even  baked  apples  with  that  comfort  that 
they  can  manage  a  piece  of  tender  beef 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  345 


FOOD. 

An  intelligent  sea-captain  sailing  out  of  New  Bed- 
ford says :  "  I  have  made  several  voyages  to  St.  Peters- 
burg, in  Eussia.  The  people  of  Eussia  generally  sub- 
sist, for  the  most  part,  on  coarse  black  rye  bread  and 
garlics.  The  bread  is  exceedingly  coarse,  sometimes 
containing  almost  whole  grains,  and  it  is  very  hard  and 
dry.  I  have  often  hired  men  to  labor  for  me  in  Eussia, 
which  they  could  do  from  sixteen  to  eighteen  hours, 
and  find  themselves,  for  eight  cents  a  day,  the  sun 
shining  there  sometimes  twenty  hours  a  day.  They 
would  come  on  board  in  the  morning  with  a  piece  of 
their  black  bread  weighing  about  a  pound,  and  a  bunch 
of  garlic  as  big  as  one's  fist.  This  was  all  their  nourish- 
ment for  the  day  of  sixteen  or  eighteen  hours'  labor. 
They  were  astonishingly  powerful  and  active,  and  en- 
dured severe  and  protracted  labor  far  beyond  any  of 
my  men.  Some  of  these  men  were  eighty  and  ninety 
years  old,  and  yet  they  would  do  more  work  than  any  of 
the  middle-aged  men  belonging  to  my  ship.  In  hand- 
ling iron,  and  in  stowing  away  hemp  with  the  jack- 
screw,  they  exhibited  most  astonishing  power.  They 
were  full  of  agility,  vivacity,  and  even  hilarity,  singing 
as  they  labored  with  all  the  blithesomeness  of  youth." 

We  Americans  eat  too  much  animal  food.     In  con- 

15* 


846  FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

sequence,  many  of  us  are  feverish  and  prematurely  old. 
During  the  cold  season  hard  workers  need  meat,  but 
only  once  .a  day.     Beef  and  mutton  are  best. 


INTEMPERATE  TEETOTALERS. 

The  excessive  drinking  of  cold  water  during  hot 
weather  injures  our  stomachs  and  confuses  our  heads. 
If  you  will  try  the  following  experiment,  you  will  1ft 
surprised  at  the  result.  Drink  a  tumbler  of  cold  water 
on  rising  in  the  morning,  and  another  on  lying  down  at 
night.  During  the  day,  drink  no  cold  water,  or,  if  you 
must  drink,  let  it  be  a  single  swallow,  and  do  not  let 
it  reach  the  stomach  cold.  On  the  next  day  drink  cold 
water  with  your  meals,  and  half  a  dozen  tumblers  of 
ice-water  between  meals,  and,  if  you  please,  one  or 
two  glasses  of  lemonade  and  soda-water.  You  will  be 
surprised,  if  you  observe  carefully,  at  the  change  in 
your  digestion,  and  the  condition  of  your  head,  Tliis 
sluicing  the  stomach  with  cold  water  from  time  to  time 
during  the  day,  in  hot  summer  weather,  is  the  surest 
road  to  weak  digestion,  lassitude,  and  confused  brain. 


Onions  are  no  doubt  healthful  food,  but  the  odor 
through  the  house  and  in  the  breath  is  such  an  abomi- 
nation, that  I  should  as  soon  think  of  keeping  a  polecat 
in  the  house  for  fun,  as  to  eat  onions  for  health. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  347 


DIET  AT  SEA. 

They  have  a  curious  way  of  feeding  passengers  on 
the  Atlantic  steamships.  I  wish  to  make  a  few  remarks 
on  the  subject.  A  recent  trip  on  a  favorite  steamer 
will  illustrate.  We  were  crowded.  Twelve  hundred 
people  is  a  large  population  for  one  ship.  There  were 
t\Vo  hundred  of  us  in  the  saloon.  On  the  third  day 
out  from  Queenstown,  only  a  few  were  able  to  report 
at  dinner.  I  managed,  with  many  misgivings,  to  be 
one  of  them.  But  right  before  me  the  steward  placed 
an  enormous  mess  of  fat  bacon,  covered  with  that  queer 
gravy  which  ship  cooks  so  delight  in.  I  glanced  up 
and  down  the  table.  It  was  grease,  grease,  everywhere, 
and  I  made  a  rush  for  the  deck.  Several  times  I  was 
driven  from  the  dining-saloon  by  the  same  sickening 
spectacle.  I  talked  with  a  number  of  passengers  about 
it  They  all  agreed  that  the  food  was,  under  the  cir- 
cumstances, an  outrage.  One  day  some  canned  peaches 
were  served.  The  scramble  for  them  reminded  me  of  the 
stories  I  have  read  of  the  manners  of  starving  people. 
Several  of  us  organized  ourselves  into  a  committee,  and 
called  upon  the  captain  for  a  plain  talk  about  the  table. 

"  Why  not  have  canned  fruits  ?  They  are  exceed- 
ingly cheap.  Of  course,  they  are  not  quite  so  cheap  as 
fat  meats,  because  these  are  not  touched  by  nine  in  ten 


348  FIVE- MINUTE  CHATS. 

of  the  passengers  during  the  heavy  weather,  which  is 
pretty  constant.  Look  at  Mr.  R  and  his  family  with 
their  canned  pears  and  berries !  They  are  the  envy  of 
all.  You  may  say  that  %ve  ought  to  provide  ourselves, 
if  we  are  not  satisfied  with  the  ship's  table. 

"  But  let  us  see  !  Here  we  are  on  board  ship,  with- 
out exercise  or  occupation,  a  large  majority  of  us  more 
or  less  disturbed  in  stomach,  and  you  give  us  ten  kinds 
of  grease  for  food.  "We  ask  for  simple  things,  especially 
canned  fruits.  You  reply  that  if  we  are  not  satisfied 
with  grease,  we  must  get  what  we  like  better. 

"We  might  reply  that  as  soon  as  any  one  of  the 
transatlantic  lines  furnishes  a  good  table,  we  shall  be 
at  liberty,  a  part  of  us  at  least,  to  escape.  But  why 
need  we  wait  ?  Why  will  not  this  rich  company  fur- 
nish its  passengers  with  good  food  ? 

"  Very  well,  if  that  is  true,  if  you  have  passengers 
who  will  have  these  masses  of  grease  three  times  a  day, 
they  should  be  put  in  a  pew  by  themselves,  and  not  be 
allowed  to  interfere  with  decent  people." 


To  A  Dyspeptic.  —  I  advise  you  to  eat  butter  with 
your  bread.  Don't  starve.  Of  course  you  feel  better 
when  you  go  without  eating,  and  so  you  feel  better 
when  you  lie  in  bed,  but  you  must  not  give  way  to 
such  weakness.     You  must  eat  and  you  must  exercise. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  349 

You  must  eat  meat  and  bread-and-butter,  and  then  you 
must  exercise  as  hard  as  you  can  bear.  By  vigorous 
percussion  of  the  stomach  and  bowels,  by  horseback- 
riding,  by  frequent  use  of  the  hair-gloves,  by  much 
sleep  and  other  hygienic  measures,  you  will  recover. 
Avoid  starvation,  indolence,  and  patent  medicines. 


VISIT  TO  GERRIT  SMITH.  ^ 

Having  a  lecturing  engagement  in  the  immediate 
neighborhood  of  Peterborough,  K  Y.,  the  residence  of 
Gerrit  Smith,  I  drove  over  to  see  him. 

The  same  grand  person,  only  a  little  bent ;  the  same 
incomparable  voice  (the  deepest,  largest,  and  sweetest 
I  ever  heard) ;  the  same  gentle,  benignant,  brotherly 
spirit ;  the  same  Great  American  Moral  Prince. 

He  told  me  that  he  had  been  troubled  for  several 
weeks  with  a  vertigo  which  gave  him  some  anxiety, 
but  that  otherwise  he  was  as  well  as  ever,  and  felt  but 
little  the  weight  of  his  seventy-six  years. 

In  his  conversational  manner  he  seems  like  a  man  of 
fifty,  and  in  every  respect,  except  the  slight  stoop,  and 
a  shorter  step  in  walking,  he  seems  as  vital  as  in  the 
long  ajTo,  when  he  thrilled  the  nation  with  his  anti- 
slavery  eloquence. 

When,  in  the  future,  the  historian  shall  classify  the  * 


350  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

forces  which  gave  our  nation  its  grand  impulse  toward 
emancipation,  the  name  of  Gerrit  Smith  will  stand 
among  the  first  on  the  roll. 

With  his  matchless  person  and  voice,  with  his  rare 
eloquence,  with  his  love,  broad  and  deep  as  the  sea, 
with  his  boundless  wealth,  all  placed  at  the  service  of 
the  cause,  with  the  most  extraordinary  combination  of 
qualities  and  advantages  possessed  by  any  man  of  the 
century,  —  his  influence  in  the  early  history  of  the 
struggle  with  slavery  was  immense,  incalculable. 

Mr.  Smith  said,  when  I  expressed  regret  that  he  no 
longer  appeared  on  the  platform,  "  I  don't  go  from  home 
very  often,  and  almost  never  speak  to  public  assemblies  ; 
but,  as  you  have  seen,  my  pen  is  not  altogether  idle  ! " 

Knowing  that  for  many  years  he  was  a  great  sufferer 
from  one  of  the  most  painful  of  all  human  maladies,  I 
ventured  to  recall  the  fact  that  I  had  seen  him  address 
audiences,  sitting  in  an  arm-chair  of  peculiar  construc- 
tion, and  he  informed  me  that  he  had  quite  recovered 
from  his  old  malady. 

When  I  asked  what  rules  of  life  he  had  found  most 
beneficial,  and  begged  him  to  give  me  the  three  which 
he  had  found  mo^t  important,  and  to  mention  them  in 
the  order  of  their  importance,  he  replied,  unhesitatingly, 

1st.  Life  in  the  open  air. 

2d.  The  maintenance  of  an  even  temper. 

3d.  Regularity  in  eating  and  sleeping. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  351 


NOBLEST  ROMAN  Or  THEM  ALL. 

"  CiNCiNNATUS,  when  he  had  retired  from  the  helm 
of  imperial  Eome  to  his  little  Sabine  farm,  enjoyed 
more  real  satisfaction  in  reflecting  on  the  dangers 
which  attended  the  aspirings  of  ambition  than  when 
he  was  decked  with  the  gaudiest  plumes  of  authority 
and  power.  Happy  in  the  limits  of  his  retirement,  and 
content  with  the  plainest  fare  in  his  homely  cot,  he 
experienced  more  real  enjoyment  while  eating  his 
favorite  turnips  and  drinking  from  the  limpid  stream, 
than  from  the  most  luxurious  dishes  and  the  most 
exquisite  wines  when  engaged  in  the  tumultuous 
affairs  of  the  republic." 


What  shall  it  profit  a  :Man  if  he  gain  the 
WHOLE  WoELD?— A  is  worth  about  two  hundred 
thousand  dollars.  He  is  dyspeptic  and  nervous.  A  is 
a  poor  man.  He  is  a  wretchedly  poor  man.  B  is  not 
worth  a  thousand  dollars.  He  has  fine  digestion  and 
nerves  like  steel.  B  is  a  rich  man.  It  is  easy  to 
acquire  good  digestion  and  good  nerves.  It  is  very 
difficult  with  the  great  mass  of  men  to  get  two  hundred 
thousand  dollars.  It  is  a  hundred  times  as  wise  to 
seek  health  as  to  seek  a  fortune. 


352  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


TRAINING. 


Training  men  for  the  prize-ring,  they  are  not  allowed 
to  touch  lager-beer,  tobacco,  or  any  other  such  stuff. 
Billiard-players  training  for  a  match  carefully  avoid  all 
such  indulgences.  When  not  training,  these  people  are 
likely  to  indulge  freely  in  spirits  and  tobacco ;  but 
when  seeking  the  highest  health,  they  are  compelled  to 
deny  themselves.  And  yet  we  constantly  hear  the 
healthfulness  of  lager  and  the  meerschaum  seriously 
discussed.  It  is  stated  as  an  historical  fact,  that  no  man 
who  has  graduated  at  the  head  of  his  class  in  Harvard 
College,  within  the  last  fifty-five  years,  has  used  either 
spirits  or  tobacco  in  any  form.  And  when  it  is  added 
that  the  use  of  both  is  very  common  among  the  stu- 
dents in  that  famous  University,  and  that  formerly  such 
indulgences  were  wellnigh  universal,  the  fact  that  no 
victor  has  used  either  is  very  significant. 

Speaking  of  prize-fighters,  I  have  watched  the  can- 
didates for  the  prize-ring  during  their  training  with 

great  interest.     Jack ,  a  famous   fighter,  was  a 

great  devotee  of  cigars.  He  smoked  about  twelve 
a  day.  On  the  day  before  he  went  over  into  Jersey 
to  begin  his  training,  he  smoked  seventeen  by  way 
of  emphasis  !  I  was  curious  about  one  thing:  how 
could  he  cut  off  so  short  ?      I  said,  "  Jack,  I  should 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  353 

think  it  would  nearly  kill  you  to  break  off  so  sud- 
denly." .     • 

"  0  no,"  he  replied, "  not  if  I  am  training !  If  I  were 
loafing  round,  eating  and  drinking  everything,  it  would 
be  awful  hard  on  me  to  give  up  cigars  ;  but  when  I  go 
to  training,  I  don't  even  think  of  it." 

AVhoever  is  in  high  health,  with  pure  blood  and  a 
clear  head,  finds  it  easy  to  give  up  bad  habits.  High 
temper  and  profanity  are  easily  got  rid  of  when  the 
brain  is  clean.  Ah  !  what  a  means  of  grace  is  perfect 
health  ! 


SOMETHING  MORE  ABOUT  EXERCISE. 

I  HAVE  studied  the  subject  of  exercise  for  twenty 
years.  I  have  invented  a  system  of  gymnastics,  which 
has  been  introduced  into  nearly  all  the  schools  in 
America,  into  most  of  the  English  gymnasia,  and  was 
introduced  into  the  schools  of  Berlin  a  few  years  ago, 
with  public  ceremonies. 

I  have  been  the  recipient  of  honorable  testimonials 
from  American  colleges,  many  important  educational 
bodies,  and  from  many  sources  in  England  and  Ger- 
many. 

Please  excuse  this  parade.  My  object  in  making 
these  statements  is  to  give  a  just  emphasis  to  an  opinion 
which  I  wish  now  to  exi)ress.     It  is  this,  —  that  walk- 


354  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ing,  when  properly  managed,  is  the  best  of  all  exercises. 
None  of  the  artificial  exercises  can  be  compared  with 
it.  Every  important  muscle  works  actively  in  walking. 
Notice  an  active  walker.  See  how  every  part  works 
—  legs,  hips,  arms,  shoulders,  —  the  man  works  all  over. 
Brisk  walking  gives  even  the  upper  half  of  the  body 
fine  play.  Then  walking  costs  nothing.  You  are  not 
obliged  to  join  a  class,  and  employ  a  teacher.  Again, 
walking  takes  you  into  the  open  air  and  sunshine,  while 
in  gymnastics  you  are  in  the  dusty  atmosphere  of  a  hall ; 
and  it  is  not  a  small  advantage  that  in  walking  you 
enjoy  a  succession  of  changing  scenes,  —  suggestions  of 
new  thought.  And,  walking  with  a  friend,  the  conver- 
sation may  be  interesting  and  instructive.  All  this 
may  be  found  in  natural  and  active  walking. 

But  if  the  ankles  were  shackled,  so  that  the  feet 
could  be  moved  but  a  few  inches,  the  great  value  of  the 
exercise  would  be  at  an  end. 

I  asked  you  to  note  the  arms  and  shoulders  of  an 
active  walker.  How  they  swing  and  woiggle  and  wig- 
gle !  how  thoroughly  alive  even  the  upper  half  of  the 
body  is  !  The  physiology  of  that  part  of  the  body  in 
walking  is  this :  the  shoulder  is  a  sort  of  centre  for  the 
muscles  of  the  chest.  They  start  from  the  shoulder,  and 
spread  out  in  every  direction  like  a  fan.  These  muscles, 
which  run  in  every  direction,  over  the  chest,  around, 
about,  up,  down,  crosswise,  and  interlocking  with  each 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  355 

other  in  a  wonderful  net,  —  these  museles,  which  deter- 
mine whether  the  chest  shall  be  full,  strong,  and  active, 
or  thin,  weak,  and  inactive,  —  these  muscles  about  the 
chest,  which  determine  whether  the  vital  organs  within 
the  chest  shall  be  large,  active,  and  strong,  or  small, 
slow,  and  weak,  —  these  muscles,  which  may  contribute, 
more  than  any  others  in  the  body,  to  the  strength  and 
activity  of  life,  —  these  muscles,  I  say,  depend  for  their 
activity,  for  their  development  and  strength,  upon  a 
free  and  vigorous  motion  of  the  shoulders.  Brisk  walk- 
ing, with  a  swinging  of  the  arms,  gives  the  required 
movements  of  the  shoulders.  Now  we  understand  how 
it  is  that  active  walking  contributes  so  much  to  the 
fulness  and  strength  of  the  chest,  and  the  organs 
within  the  chest. 

Please  put  your  finger  down  there,  and  look  out  of 
this  front  window  with  me.  It  is  a  bright  day,  and  the 
ladies  are  out  in  force. 

Now,  let  us  notice  how  they  walk.  Why,  they  don't 
swing  their  arms  at  aU !  Their  arms  must  be  laced 
down  upon  their  sides!  No,  they  are  holding  their 
arms  still ;  and  see,  they  have  tucked  their  hands  into 
those  large  fur  rollers  which  they  carry  on  their  stom- 
achs. Their  arms  look,  for  all  the  world,  Hke  the  wings 
of  a  Christmas  turkey,  all  tied  down,  and  ready  to  be 
put  in  the  oven. 

It  must  be  hard  work  to  walk  in  that  way  ! 


356  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

It  is  very  hard  indeed,  and  you  see  tliey  have  to  walk 
very  slowly,  and  wiggle  their  hips. 

AVhat  a  funny  motion  that  wiggle  is  !  I  should  think 
fastidious  people  might  call  it  vulgar  and  immodest. 

O,  well,  that  depends  upon  the  fashion !  That 
wiggle-waggle  is  all  the  go  now. 

I  should  think  it  would  lame  them  across  the  back. 

It  does ;  there  is  not  a  lady  in  twenty,  who  is  not 
lame  across  the  small  of  the  back.  Let  a  man  wear  a 
shawl  and  hold  it  together  in  front  with  his  hands,  and 
he  will  not  walk  far  before  Ids  back  will  ache.  It  is  a 
hard  strain  upon  the  spine,  to  walk  without  swinging 
the  arms. 

American  ladies  have  muscular  legs  and  hips ;  but 
look  at  their  arras  (candle-dips  No.  8),  their  angular 
shoulders,  and  their  flat,  thin  chests. 

A  large  part  of  this  ugliness  and  weakness  comes  of 
carrying  their  hands  in  muffs,  or  folded  in  front,  or 
under  shawls,  —  in  brief,  from  not  swinging  their  arms 
in  walking.  Ah,  when  those  beautiful  fur  mittens  and 
gloves,  which  are  now  becoming  fashionable,  shall  be 
generally  introduced,  and  our  girls  are  able  to  walk  off 
in  that  brisk,  bright  way,  which  we  all  so  admire,  not 
only  will  their  cheeks  take  on  a  warmer  hue,  but  their 
arms,  shoulders,  and  chests  will  become  plumper  and 
finer;  and  they  will  be  better  fitted  to  perform  the 
duties  and  enjoy  the  pleasures  of  life. 


FIVE-MINUTE   CHATS.  357 


PHYSICAL   CULTUKE. 

Educators  declare  that  we  Americans  are  dying  for 
want  of  physical  culture.  Physical  culture  is  de- 
manded for  our  colleges,  and  almost  every  college  in 
America  has,  in  response,  built  a  gymnasium.  Harvard, 
Yale,  Williams,  Amherst,  Dartmouth,  and  others  have 
erected  splendid  gymnasia.  The  public  is  assured  that 
these  colleges  are  fully  aroused  to  the  importance  of 
physical  culture. 

In  every  address  upon  the  education  of  girls,  we  are 
fervidly  exhorted  to  give  attention  to  physical  culture. 
We  are  solemnly  assured  that  a  ladies'  seminary  which 
does  not  provide  for  physical  culture  is  a  cheat  and 
a  trap.  In  response  a  hundred  seminaries  have  an- 
nounced, "  Special  attention  given  to  Physical  Culture." 

My  very  soul  responds  Amen,  to  the  thought  and 
to  all  this  zeal !  I  would  have  the  subject  of  physical 
culture  discussed  and  rediscussed  ;  I  would  have  col- 
leges, schools,  and  families  so  filled  with  it,  that  both 
sexes  and  all  ages  shall  be  expanded,  invigorated,  and 
lifted  into  a  higher  life. 

But  what  is  physical  culture  ?  Mention  the  words, 
and  what  do  nine  persons  in  ten  think  of?  It  is  a 
gymnasium !  Physical  culture  in  a  school,  and  the 
gymnasium,  mean,  with  most  people,  the  same  thing. 


"358  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

The  gymnasium  is  a  very  important  institution.  Ko 
educational  establishment  without  one  should  receive 
the  patronage  of  the  public.  And  while,  as  a  means 
of  health,  it  must  ever  remain  inferior  to  the  brisk 
walk  and  out-door  sports,  it  is  nevertheless  quite  indis- 
pensable to  every  school,  seminary,  and  college. 

But  in  a  system  of  true  physical  culture,  the  gym- 
nasium wiU  occupy  the  place  given  it  in  the  following 
table :  — 

Laws  of  Physical  Culture  for  ScJwols,  Seminaries^  and 
Colleges. 

1.  Pure  air,  day  and  night. 

2.  Bright  sunlight,  in  school-room,  bedroom,  and 
two  or  tliree  hours  a  day  outside. 

3.  Bed  at  nine  o'clock. 

4.  Plain  food  eaten  at  right  times  and  in  the  right 
manner. 

5.  Healthful  dress,  both  as  to  fit  and  material 

6.  Gymnastics. 

7.  One  or  two  hours  daily  of  pleasant  social  life. 
Twenty-five    years'   observation  among   educational 

institutions,  and  study  of  the  laws  of  health,  have  led 
me  to  the  conclusion  that  this  is  a  good  "Card  of 
Direction"  for  the  physical  culture  of  schools,  semi- 
naries, and  colleges ;  except  that  in  the  case  of  ladies' 
seminaries  the  3d  and  5th  should  change  places. 

Professor  C ,  one  of  the  most  advanced  educators 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  359 

in  New  England,  said  to  me  tlie  other  day,  "  I  am  afraid 
our  colleges  are  giving  too  much  attention  to  physical 
culture.  They  are  simply  burning  the  candle  at  both 
ends." 

When  I  explained  the  true  physical  culture,  he  ex- 
claimed, "  Yes,  indeed,  let  them  adopt  that  system  of 
physical  culture,  and  they  will  never  give  too  much  at- 
t-ention  to  it,  and  our  students  will  accomplish  twice  as 
much  as  they  can  achieve  under  the  present  system." 


BROADCLOTH  AN  ENEMY  OF  HEALTH. 

Professor  Hamilton,  in  an  able  address  on  hy- 
giene to  the  graduates  of  tlie  Buffalo  Medical  College, 
denounces  broadcloth  as  an  enemy  to  exercise,  and 
therefore  to  health.     He  says:  — 

"American  gentlemen  have  adopted,  as  a  national 
costume,  a  thin,  tight-fitting  black  suit  of  broadcloth. 
To  foreigners  we  seem  always  to  be  in  mourning ;  we 
travel  in  black.  ^  The  priest,  the  lawyer,  the  doctor,  the 
literary  man,  the  mechanic,  and  even  the  day-laborer, 
choose  always  the  same  black  broadcloth,  —  a  style 
that  never  ought  to  have  been  adopted  out  of  the 
drawing-room  or  the  pulpit,  because  it  is  a  feeble  and 
expensive  fabric,  and  because  it  is  at  the  Xorth  no 
protection  against  the  cold,  nor  is  it  any  more  suitable 


360  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

at  the  South.  It  is  too  thin  to  be  warm  in  winter,  and 
too  black  to  be  cool  in  summer ;  but  especially  do  we 
object  to  it,  because  the  wearer  is  always  soiling  it  by 
exposure.  Young  gentlemen  will  not  play  ball,  pitch 
quoits,  or  WTestle  or  tumble,  or  any  other  similar  thing, 
lest  their  broadcloth  should  be  offended.  They  will 
not  go  out  into  the  storm,  because  the  broadcloth  will 
lose  its  lustre  if  rain  falls  upon  it ;  they  will  not  run, 
because  they  have  no  confidence  in  the  strength  of 
their  broadcloth  ;  they  dare  not  mount  a  horse  or  leap 
a  fence,  because  broadcloth,  as  everybody  knows,  is  so 
faithless.  So  these  young  men  and  these  older  men, 
these  merchants,  mechanics,  and  all,  leam  to  walk,  talk, 
and  think  soberly  and  carefully ;  they  seldom  venture 
even  to  laugh  to  the  full  extent  of  their  sides,  because 
of  their  broadcloth." 


ONE  MAN'S  MEAT  ANOTHER'S  POISON. 

Dr.  Lewis  :  My  dear  Sir,  —  I  was  talking  to  a  physi- 
cian the  other  day  about  longevity.  He  said  he  once  knew 
a  man  who  went  to  bed  drunk  almost  every  night  of  his 
life  after  he  was  forty,  and  he  lived  to  be  nearly  ninety. 
He  knew  another  man  who  tried  it,  and  he  died  before  he 
yrscA  fifty. 

"  You  don't  suppose  that  it  was  getting  drunk  that  pre- 
served that  man's  life  1 "  said  I. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  361 

"  Certainly,"  he  replied ;  "  we  are  all  dififerently  consti- 
tuted. The  drink  that  killed  one  man  prolonged  the  life  of 
another." 

Please  tell  me  what  you  think  of  such  an  idea. 
Yours  truly, 

D.  Dawson. 

Well,  in  the  first  place,  it  is  a  common  idea.  People 
are  fond  of  repeating,  "  What  is  one  man's  meat  is  an- 
other man's  poison."  That  old  saw  has  done  infinite 
mischief.  But,  you  will  ask  me,  "Is  it  not  true  ? " 
Yes,  it  is  true,  or,  rather,  it  contains  a  grain  of  truth. 
Of  course  everybody  knows  it  is  not  a  universal  truth. 
Bread  is  one  man's  meat,  but  it  is  not  another  man's 
poison.  Beef  is  one  man's  meat,  but  it  is  not  another 
man's  poison.  And  so  of  water,  fresh  air,  sleep,  exercise, 
society,  and  a  thousand  other  things.  They  are  every 
man's  meat ;  they  are  no  man's  poison.  And  there  are 
thousands  of  things  which  are  every  man's  poison  and 
no  man's  meat.  Numberless  poisons,  so  called,  are  no 
man's  meat.  Irregularities  in  sleep  and  food,  bad  air, 
residence  in  damp  and  dark  places,  are  every  man's 
poison ;  they  are  no  man's  meat. 

Before  undertaking  to  show  where  the  grain  of  truth 
may  be  found,  let  me  hint  the  origin  of  this  venerable 
adage.  It  became  necessary  to  defend  the  use  of  to- 
bacco, rum,  and  some  other  indulgences ;  and  as  these 
are   not  attended   in    many  cases   with  present  bad 

16 


362  FIVE-MJNUTE  CHATS. 

effects  of  a  pronounced  character,  the  devotees  devised 
a  cheap  and  convenient  defence,  even  a  proverb  :  "  What 
is  one  man's  meat  is  another  man's  poison."  Proverbs 
have  a  good  reputation;  they  are  believed  to  be  the 
outcome  of  the  deepest  experiences  of  the  race.  And 
in  some  instances  this  is  doubtless  true.  So  it  is  a 
good  thing  to  be  able  to  cover  one's  weaknesses  with  a 
proverb.  This  is  without  doubt  a  true  account  of  the 
origin  of  the  proverb  we  are  considering.  But  where 
is  the  grain  of  truth  ?  It  certainly  is  not  to  be  found 
in  the  notion  that  alcohol,  tobacco,  opium,  or  any  other 
poison,  is  anybody's  meat,  though  some  persons  may 
use  such  things  many  years  without  discovering,  to  our 
imperfect  apprehension,  any  serious  damage.  But  it  is 
to  be  found  particularly  and  principally  in  the  fact  that 
a  weakened  body,  weakened  by  age,  sickness,  or  viola- 
tion of  the  laws  of  health,  cannot  bear  the  quantity  of 
food,  drink,  exercise,  etc.,  which  a  vigorous  and  active 
body  can  bear. 

This  is  true,  and  it  is  about  all  the  truth  there  is  in 
the  old  familiar  proverb,  "  What  is  one  man's  meat  is 
another  man's  poison." 


Old  proverbs  are  not  always  the  condensed  essences 
distilled  from  the  wisdom  of  mankind ;  but  often 
enough  are  only  the  clever  expression  of  popular  fal- 
lacies. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  3C3 


THE  TRUE  SECRET. 

LoXG  life  has  ever  been  considered  a  great  deside- 
ratum. In  the  Old  Testament  the  promise  of  life  is 
held  up  as  the  great  consolation ;  while  in  the  New- 
Testament  long  life,  eternal  life,  is  constantly  placed 
before  man's  imagination  as  the  greatest  of  all  possible 
rewards. 

The  Egyptians  thought  they  had  discovered  the 
secret  in  the  constant  use  of  emetics.  Among  them 
it  became  the  custom  to  take  about  two  emetics  a 
month.  When  an  Egyptian  met  another,  the  common 
greeting  was  not,  "  How  do  ye  do  ? "  but,  "  How  did 
your  last  emetic  operate  ? " 

At  one  time,  during  the  dark  ages,  alchemists  sought 
in  ways,  which  seem  ludicrous  enough  to  us,  for  some 
substance  which,  introduced  into  the  body,  might  pro- 
long life.  "Original  matter"  was  looked  upon  to  be 
the  elementary  cause  of  all  existence.  If  they  could 
only  find  this,  they  could  work  miracles,  they  could 
perpetuate  life  indefinitely.  In  seeking  this  original 
matter  the  most  extraordinary  paths  were  trodden. 
Millions  of  vessels,  phials,  and  retorts  were  buried  in 
dung-hills  or  other  fetid  masses,  to  discover,  through 
decomposition,  the  "  original  matter." 

Gold  was  then,  as  now,  the  most  precious  of  metals. 


364  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

It  was  thought  that  the  introduction  of  it  into  the  sys- 
tem, if  it  could  be  kept  there,  would  greatly  prolong 
life.  A  multitude  of  biisy  idiots  were  at  work  day  and 
night,  in  concealed  corners,  trying  to  discover  some 
means  of  rendering  gold  potable,  so  that  it  would 
remain  in  the  body,  and  not  return  to  the  metallic 
form,  but  become  assimilated,  and  thus  enter  as  an 
integral  part  of  the  system.  As  gold  is  immoital,  it 
was  fondly  believed  that  the  body  of  which  it  was  a 
part  might,  with  it,  become  immortal.  The  common 
people  of  Italy,  France,  and  Germany  often  denied 
themselves  the  necessaries  of  life  to  purchase  a  few 
drops  of  the  tincture  of  gold,  which  they  swallowed 
with  the  most  enthusiastic  confidence. 

This  mania,  in  some  one  of  a  hundred  forms,  con- 
tinued for  several  hundred  years,  and,  indeed,  has  not 
passed  away  from  all  classes  at  this  hour. 

About  three  hundred  years  since,  in  some  portions  of 
Europe,  they  began  to  consider  the  laws  of  man's  phys- 
ical health.  Within  these  three  hundred  years  the 
length  of  life  in  Europe  has  increased  seventy-five  per 
cent.  The  larger  part  of  this  improvement  has  occurred 
within  the  last  one  hundred  years.  The  last  fifty  years 
have  been  especially  prolific  in  contributions  to  human 
longevity.  In  America,  even,  it  has  become  very  com- 
mon to  reach  the  age  of  one  hundred  years ;  and  if  the 
favoring  influences  now  actively  at  work  are  not  dis- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  365 

turbed  before  A.  D.  1974,  one  hundred  and  twenty-five, 
thirty,  and  forty  years  will  not  be  rare. 

When  sleep,  exercise,  food,  air,  sunshine,  when,  in 
brief,  the  laws  of  health,  shall  receive  all  needed  atten- 
tion, we  shall  not  only  enjoy  health  and  happiness,  but 
a  good,  long  life. 

THE  BEST  BED. 

Of  the  eight  pounds  which  a  man  eats  and  drinks  in 
a  day,  it  is  thought  that  not  less  than  five  pounds  leave 
his  body  through  the  skin.  And  of  these  five  pounds, 
a  considerable  percentage  escapes  during  the  night. 
This,  being  in  great  part  gaseous  in  form,  permeates 
every  part  of  the  bed.  Thus  all  parts  of  the  led  — 
mattress,  hlanhets,  as  well  as  sheets  —  soon  become  foul, 
and  need  purification. 

The  mattress  needs  this  renovation  quite  as  much  as 
the  sheets. 

To  allow  the  sheets  to  be  used  without  washing  or 
changing  three  or  six  months  would  be  regarded  as  bad 
housekeeping ;  but  I  insist,  if  a  thin  sheet  can  absorb 
enough  of  the  poisonous  excretions  of  the  body  to  make 
it  unfit  for  use  in  a  few  days,  a  thick  mattress,  wliich 
can  absorb  and  retain  a  thousand  times  as  much  of 
these  poisonous  excretions,  needs  to  be  purified  as  often 
certainly  as  once  in  three  months.     A  sheet  can  be 


366  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

washed.  A  mattress  cannot  be  renovated  in  this  way. 
Indeed,  there  is  no  other  way  of  cleansing  a  mattress 
but  by  steaming  it  or  picking  it  to  pieces,  and  thus  in 
fragments  exposing  it  to  the  direct  rays  of  the  sun.  As 
these  processes  are  scarcely  practicable  with  any  of  the 
ordinary  mattresses,  I  am  decidedly  of  the  opinion  that 
the  good  old-fashioned  straw  bed,  which  can  every  three 
months  be  exchanged  for  fresh  straw,  and  the  tick 
washed,  is  the  sweetest  and  healthiest  of  beds. 

If  in  the  winter  season  the  porousness  of  the  stmw 
bed  makes  it  a  little  uncomfortable,  spread  over  it  a 
comforter  or  two  woollen  blankets,  which  should  be 
washed  as  often  as  every  two  weeks.  With  this  ar- 
rangement, if  you  wash  all  the  bed-covering  as  often 
as  once  in  one  or  two  weeks,  you  will  have  a  delight- 
ful, healthy  bed. 

Now,  if  you  leave  the  bed  to  air,  with  open  windows 
during  the  day,  and  not  make  it  up  for  the  night  before 
evening,  you  will  have  added  greatly  to  the  sweetness 
of  your  rest,  and,  in  consequence,  to  the  tone  of  your 
health. 

I  heartily  wish  this  good  change  could  be  everywhere 
introduced.  Only  those  who  have  thus  attended  to  this 
important  matter  can  judge  of  its  influence  on  the  gen- 
eral health  and  spirits. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  3^7 


TOBACCO  AT  THE  WEST. 

In  a  recent  trip  through  the  West,  my  attention  was 
constantly  drawn  to  the  immense  consumption  of  to- 
bacco by  chewing.  This  mode  of  using  the  narcotic 
poison  is  more  damaging  than  any  other,  not  per  se, 
but  because  it  is  susceptible  in  this  way  of  constant 
use.  A  man  smokes  two  hours  a  day.  He  chews  fif- 
teen hours.  The  sunken  cheeks  and  unhappy  restless- 
ness of  the  men  of  the  "West  are  largely  attributed  to 
chewing. 

Leaving  out  for  the  moment  the  besmeared  lips, 
beard,  and  clothing,  —  leaving  out  the  inconceivable 
filth  which  covers  the  floor  of  the  car,  hall,  pew,  side- 
walk, everything,  —  leaving  out  the  sickening  odor  of 
the  breath,  —  in  brief,  the  unparalleled  nastiness  of  the 
indulgence,  —  we  cannot  shut  our  eyes  to  the  poison- 
ous, destructive  influence  of  the  habit.  Tobacco  is  an 
immensely  powerful  poison.  If  a  boy  ten  years  of  age, 
who  has  never  used  tobacco,  take  into  his  mouth  a  piece 
as  large  as  a  pea,  and  simply  chew  it,  without  swallow- 
ing a  drop,  before  he  has  finished  simply  squeezing  it 
between  his  teeth,  he  will  break  out  into  a  cold,  clammy 
perspiration,  his  pulse  will  flutter,  he  will  vomit,  and, 
falling  down  upon  the  floor,  he  will  seem,  for  two  hours, 
as  though  he  were  going  to  die.     You  will  have  to  go 


368  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

far  in  a  drug-store  to  find  another  poison  which,  in  the 
size  of  a  pea,  held  in  that  boy's  mouth  and  simply 
squeezed  between  his  teeth,  will  produce  such  effects 
as  these. 

The  men  of  the  West,  the  most  vital  in  the  world, 
having  drafted  not  only  the  great  mass  of  the  choicest 
young  men  of  the  East,  but  thousands  of  the  most  en- 
terprising and  determined  young  men  of  Europe  for  its 
service,  with  opportunities  which  it  makes  one  dizzy  to 
try  to  measure,  are  filling  not  only  themselves  with  tliis 
horrid  poison,  but  in  numberless  ways  are  transmitting 
the  deadly  influence  to  their  offspring. 

How  any  man,  who  knows  that  every  condition  of 
the  parent,  whether  it  be  an  animal  or  a  man,  must 
influence  for  good  or  ill  the  offspring,  can  consent  to 
become  the  father  of  children  while  his  system  is  so 
dominated  by  this  powerful  narcotic,  that  an  abstinence 
of  twenty-four  hours  nearly  sets  him  crazy,  I  can't  con- 
ceive. 

Only  God  can  fully  measure  the  magnitude  of  this 
evil,  first  in  its  influence  upon  the  present  men  of  the 
West,  but  infinitely  worse  in  its  influence  upon  the 
vast,  teeming  myriads  of  the  great  West  of  the  future. 

When  the  man  of  the  West  can  escape  sufficiently 
long  from  the  task  of  adding  acres  to  a  serious  consid- 
eration of  himself,  he  wiU  then  begin  to  lay  the  true 
foundations  of  our  future  empire. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  ^§9 


A  VICTIM  OF  TOBACCO. 

GovERNOK  Seward  was  a  victim  of  tobacco.  For 
years  he  used  snuff  to  great  excess,  but,  being  warned 
by  his  medical  advisers  that  his  voice  and  stomach 
must  give  way  in  complete  ruin,  he  exchanged  the 
snuff-box  for  the  cigar-case,  and  during  the  remainder 
of  his  life  smoked  excessively.  Many  who  knew  him 
intimately,  and  were  weU  qualified  to  judge,  believe 
that  the  change  from  a  remarkable  cheerfulness  and 
buoyancy  in  early  and  middle  life  to  an  unhappy 
moodiness  and  restlessness  in  his  later  years,  was  due 
tenfold  more  to  a  large  consumption  of  tobacco  than  to 
disappointments  in  his  political  career.  Tobacco  has 
played  an  important  part  in  the  history  of  our  public 
men. 


APPLICATION  OF  SOLOMON'S  REMEDY. 

A  FEW  minutes  ago  a  big  cigar  went  by  with  a  little 
boy  hung  to  the  end  of  it.  The  little  chap  looked  sick 
enough,  but  he  was  sucking  away  as  best  he  could.  I 
would  not  reason  with  such  a  child,  but  I  would  make 
frequent  palmar  counter-irritation  to  the  little  fellow's 
person,  about  ten  inches  below  the  biittons  on  the  back 
of  his  coat,  until  he  was  relieved  of  his  malady. 

16* 


^' 


370  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


TO  A  MODERATE  DRINKER. 

No ;  not  even  the  mildest  of  the  California  wines 
will  prove  useful.  Wine  is  no  more  healthful  than 
alcohol  diluted  in  water.  Suppose  a  wine  contains 
seven  per  cent  of  -alcohol,  —  and  that  surely  would  be 
light  enough,  —  it  is  no  more  healthful  than  water  with 
seven  per  cent  of  alcohol  in  it.  The  wine  is  practically- 
just  that,  with  a  little  coloring  matter  added.  Often, 
very  often,  there  is  an  addition  of  poisonous,  adulterat- 
ing stuff.  There  is  no  douht,  as  you  suggest,  that  the 
wine  is  better  than  lager-beer.  This  is  wretched  swill, 
puffing  a  man  out  and  making  his  brain  stupid.  There 
is  a  kind  of  drink  known  as  water,  which  I  advise 
you  to  try.  It  may  taste  strange  at  first,  but  you  will 
soon  get  used  to  it,  and  then  you  will  find  it  the  best 
drink  when  you  are  sick  or  well,  when  you  are  hot  or 
cold,  indeed,  under  all  possible  circumstances. 


MALARIA. 


There  can  be  no  doubt  that,  with  certain  climatic 
conditions,  a  virgin  soil,  when  first  turned  up  to  the 
sun,  emits  an  invisible,  subtle  poison,  known  as  ma- 
laria. This  poison  produces  in  man  various  forms  of 
painful  and  dangerous  diseases.      These  maladies  are 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  371 

very  difficult  to  manage,  often  undermining  the  consti- 
tution, and  leaving  behind  effects  which  remain  through 
life.  The  malarial  poison  is,  on  the  whole,  with  per- 
haps a  single  exception,  the  most  insinuating,  obstinate, 
and  destructive  of  all  the  poisons  known  to  man. 

While  it  is  probably  impossible  to  escape  malarial 
diseases  in  certain  localities,  there  can  be  no  doubt 
that  a  considerable  part  of  what  is  supposed  to  be  the 
result  of  malaria  is  due  to  "  hog  and  hominy."  In 
my  visits  to  the  West,  I  have  been  astonished  at  the 
quantities  of  pork  and  corn  consumed  by  the  people. 
An  Illinois  farmer  eats  twice  as  much  as  a  New  Eng- 
land farmer,  and  his  food  is  twice  as  rich,  while  he  per- 
forms less  than  half  the  labor.  The  influence  upon  his 
digestive  apparatus  may  be  easily  imagined.  It  re- 
quires but  little  malaria  to  fire  such  a  train. 

I  have  known  more  than  one  family  to  remove  from 
New  England  to  malarious  districts  in  the  West,  and 
break  up  a  new  farm,  without  suffering  from  malarial 
diseases.  They  carefully  observed  the  laws  of  health, 
used  beef  instead  of  pork,  wheat  instead  of  corn,  and 
stayed  in-doors  from  sundown  till  an  hour  or  so  after 
sunrise.  Many  of  tlie  diseases  of  the  West,  and  much 
of  the  yellow  skin,  may  be  traced  to  the  same  causes  as 
produce  the  diseased  and  discolored  complexion  of 
the  South,  —  a  bad  diet,  bad  drinks,  neglect  of  bathing, 
and  other  kindred  violations  of  the  laws  of  health. 


372  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


OUR  TEETH. 


They  decay.  Hence,  unseemly  mouths,  bad  breath, 
imperfect  mastication.  Everybody  regrets  it.  Wliat 
is  the  cause  ?  I  reply,  want  of  cleanliness.  A  dean 
tooth  never  decays.  The  mouth  is  a  warm  place,  —  98 
degrees.  Particles  of  meat  between  the  teeth  soon  de- 
compose.    Gums  and  teeth  must  suffer. 

Perfect  cleanliness  will  preserve  the  teeth  to  old  age. 
How  shall  it  be  secured  ?  Use  a  q\iill  'pick,  and  rin^e 
the  mouth  after  eating.  Brush  and  Castile  soap  every 
morning ;  the  hru^h  vAth  simple  water  on  going  to  bed. 
Bestow  this  trifling  care  upon  your  precious  teeth, 
you  will  keep  them  and  ruin  the  dentists.  Neglect  it, 
and  you  will  be  sorry  all  your  lives.  Children  forget. 
Watch  them.  The  first  teeth  determine  the  character 
of  the  second  set.     Give  them  equal  care. 

Sugar,  acid,  saleratus,  and  hot  things  are  nothing 
when  compared  with  food  decomposing  between  the 
teeth.  Mercurialization  may  loosen  the  teeth,  long  use 
may  wear  them  out,  but  Jceep  them  clean  and  they  will 
never  decay.  This  advice  is  worth  more  than  thousands 
of  dollars  to  every  boy  and  girl. 

Books  have  been  written  on  the  subject.  This  brief 
article  contains  all  that  is  essential. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  373 


ULCERATION  OF  THE  MOUTH. 

It  is  not  easy  to  answer  the  question,  "  What  pro- 
duces ulceration  of  the  mouth  ? "  A  great  variety  of 
causes  may  be  named.  Tliere  can  be  no  doubt,  how- 
ever, that  the  immediate  cause  of  much  of  the  ulcera- 
tion of  the  mouth  is  a  deranged  stomach.  The  cure  is 
to  be  found  in  whatever  makes  the  stomach  healthy. 
I  have  seen  the  daily  use  of  a  little  lemon  juice  cure 
mouth  ulceration. 


A  DISTINGUISHED  anatomist  made  the  assertion  that 
"a  particle  of  matter  taken  from  a  decayed  tooth,  if 
inoculated  into  a  person's  veins,  would  produce  almost 
immediate  death."  Dr.  Ewer  tried  the  experiment  on 
a  dog,  and  it  died  in  about  twenty  minutes.  The 
amount  of  disease  produced  by  retaining  decayed  teeth 
in  the  mouth  is  immense.  The  dentist  is  one  of  our 
best  friends. 


Nevee  have  a  tooth  taken  out  if  it  be  possible  to 
have  it  filled.  The  loss  of  a  single  jaw-tooth  will  not 
only  give  the  cheek  a  sunken  appearance,  but  it  will 
prevent  the  proper  mastication  of  the  food ;  and  this  is 
a  long  step  toward  dyspepsia,  with  its  train  of  evils. 


374  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 


A  GRAVE  EVIL. 

Dust  in  the  cars  during  the  hot  season  is  a  very 
grave  evil  Various  devices  to  rid  the  traveller  of  this 
nuisance  have  been  proposed.  Several  have  been  pat- 
ented and  tried.  The  practical  difficulty  lies  here. 
We  must  have  good  ventilation ;  but  if  we  admit  the  air 
freely,  the  dust  comes  in  with  it.  The  only  promising 
invention  was  that  which  proposed  to  admit  the  air 
through  water,  thus  washing  out  the  dust.  Dr.  Foote, 
of  Buffalo,  made,  and  tried  to  introduce,  such  an  inven- 
tion, and  I  believe  succeeded  with  tolerable  satisfaction 
on  some  of  the  "Western  roads.  For  some  reason,  which 
I  have  not  learned,  it  has  been  abandoned.  If  it  was 
the  trouble  or  expense,  it  is  too  bad,  for  there  are 
thousands  who  would  give  an  additional  two  cents  a 
mile  for  a  seat  in  a  well-ventilated  car,  entirely  free 
from  dust.  It  is  a  fine  opportunity  for  some  ingenious 
inventor. 

Some  one  sitting  at  my  elbow  says  that  the  only  way 
to  get  rid  of  the  dust  nuisance  is  to  cover  the  ground 
with  something  which  is  not  dusty.  But  the  admission 
of  the  air  through  the  water  seems  to  me  the  most 
feasible  of  the  suggestions  thus  far  submitted. 


FIVE-MINUTE  GHATS.  375 


CHILLING  HOSPITALITY. 

For  instance,  I  go  to  visit  my  good  cousin  the  dea- 
con in  an  adjoining  State.  The  deacon  is  a  farmer,  and 
takes  great  pride  and  pleasure  in  bestowing  generous 
hospitality.  But  he  is  a  little  obstinate  in  his  meth- 
ods. The  last  time  I  visited  him  it  was  cold  weather. 
I  found  them  all  in  the  warm  kitchen,  as  cosey  and 
snug  as  possible.  Soon  after,  I  noticed  that  the  deacon 
went  out  as  if  he  meant  something,  and  soon  I  heard 
the  noise  of  building  a  fire  in  the  parlor  stove.  Of 
course  I  like,  as  every  man  who  lives  in  a  city  does,  to 
sit  in  the  kitchen,  —  a  privilege  we  city  folks  rarely 
enjoy.  I  begged  that  we  might  stay  where  we  were. 
The  deacon  only  said,  "  You  must  excuse  us,  but  we 
did  not  know  you  were  coming,  or  we  should  have  had 
a  fire  in  the  parlor." 

They  seemed  so  sorry  and  nervous  about  it,  that  I 
thought  it  better  to  say  no  more,  and  we  soon  adjourned 
to  the  parlor. 

What  with  the  cold  air  and  the  abundant  dampness 
of  carpet,  curtains,  and  walls,  the  atmosphere  of  the 
room  was  most  uncomfortably  chilly,  to  say  notliing  of 
that  stiffness  which  suddenly  comes  over  the  manners 
of  many  a  family  in  the  country  when  they  enter  tlie 
parlor.     When  bedtime   came,  I  was  escorted  to  the 


376  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

spare  bed,  or  hed  of  state,  wliich,  I  presume,  had  not 
been  slept  in  in  three  months ;  the  sheets  were  so 
damp  that  they  stuck  to  my  skia  Colds,  and  even 
consumption,  come  from  this  kind  of  hospitality. 


THE  HONORS  OF  AUTHORSHIP. 

Within  a  century  the  attitude  of  an  author  has 
greatly  changed.  The  crawling  of  authors  at  the  feet 
of  wealth  and  rank  was  pitiful.  Tissot,  in  a  truly  re- 
markable work,  began  with  a  Dedication,  of  which  the 
following  are  specimen  passages :  — 

"  To  the  Most  Illustrious,  the  Most  !N'oble  and 
Magnificent  Loeds,  the  Lords,  President,  and  Coun- 
sellors," etc.  The  Dedication  closed  with  the  follow- 
ing words :  "  While  you  condescend  to  accept  this  small 
oblation  as  a  very  unequal  expression  of  that  profound 
respect  with  which  I  have  the  honor  to  he,  Most  Illus- 
trious, Most  Noble  and  Magnificent  Lords,  your 
most  humble  and  m^st  obedient  servant,  Tissot." 

How  this  contrasts  with  the  answer  of  Dickens  to  a 
command  of  the  Queen  to  read  at  Windsor  Castle :  "  I 
am  reading  at  present  in  a  public  hall,  where  I  shall  be 
happy  to  see  the  Queen  whenever  she  may  find  it  con- 
venient to  be  present." 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  377' 


FIRE-ESCAPES. 

The  subject  of  fire-escapes  has  become,  in  the  light 
of  recent  events,  a  painfully  interesting  one.  A  very 
large  proportion  of  the  denizens  of  our  cities  sleep  up 
stairs,  and  a  great  many  on  the  fourth,  fifth,  sixth,  and 
seventh  stories,  v?ith  no  means  of  escape  in  case  they 
are  aroused  at  night  with  the  cry  of  fire  under  them. 
Several  inventions  have  been  recently  patented  to  meet 
this  fearful  danger.  The  one  by  George  H.  Shaw,  830 
Third  Avenue,  New  York,  is  the  best.  A  child  can 
manage  it ;  it  cannot  get  out  of  order ;  it  would  run 
down  five  people  at  a  time  without  the  possibility  of 
accident,  no  matter  how  badly  frightened  they  might 
be.  It  is  a  very  small  affair,  and  might  find  a  place 
in  the  traveller's  trunk  or  valise,  and  will,  I  am  certain, 
find  its  way  everywhere,  and  save  many  a  life. 


ONE  USE  OF  TREES. 

The  saddest  of  all  losses  by  fire  is  the  destruction 
of  great,  beautiful  trees,  the  result  of  fifty  years' 
growth.  The  houses  you  can  rebuild  in  a  year,  and, 
if  you  please,  make  them  handsomer  than  before,  but 
during  your  lifetime  you  will  never  see  those  grand  old 


378  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

trees  again.  On  the  other  hand,  trees  dressed  in  green 
often  arrest  a  fire.  The  loss  of  my  own  large  buildings 
at  Lexington  would  have  destroyed  half  the  village 
hut  for  the  surrounding  elm-trees,  which  confined  the 
fire  to  the  one  district.  It  is  almost  impossible,  even 
in  the  case  of  a  fierce  fire,  to  get  past  a  row  of  large 
green  trees. 


HUMAN  NATURE. 

Is  not  this  good,  from  an  old  European  writer  ? 

"  To  study  human  nature  to  purpose,  a  traveller 
must  enlarge  his  circuit  beyond  the  bounds  of  Europe. 
He  must  go  and  catch  her  undressed,  —  nay,  quite 
naked,  as  in  North  America  and  at  the  Cape  of  Good 
Hope.  He  may  then  examine  how  she  appears 
cramped,  contracted,  and  buttoned  up  close  in  the 
strait  tunic  of  law  and  custom,  as  in  China  and 
Japan ;  or  spread  out  and  enlarged  above  her  common 
size  in  the  loose  and  flowing  robe  of  enthusiasm,  as 
among  the  Arabs  and  Saracens ;  or,  lastly,  as  she  flut- 
ters in  the  old  rags  of  worn-out  policy  and  civil  gov- 
ernment, and  almost  ready  to  run  back  naked  to  the 
deserts,  as  on  the  Mediterranean  coast  of  Africa." 

I  have  n't  seen  this  equalled  lately.  For  fine,  free, 
strong,  picturesque  composition  I  doubt  if  it  is  often 
beaten. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  379 


STORY  OF    THE  LEXINGTON  SCHOOL. 

Since  the  destruction  of  the  buildings  at  Lexington, 
Massachusetts,  and  the  abandonment  of  the  enterprise, 
many  educators  and  others  have  urged  me  to  write  the 
story  of  the  Lexington  school. 

At  this  time  I  propose  only  a  very  brief  description 
of  its  most  salient  features.  The  deeper  philosophies  of 
that  educational  experiment  must  be  reserved  for  the 
future. 

As  it  is  difficult,  perhaps  impossible,  to  give  a  rational 
account  of  the  Lexington  school  without  some  state- 
ment of  certain  personal  experiences  which  led  to  the 
establishment  of  the  school,  I  may  be  pardoned  for  a 
few  words  of  autobiography. 

Before  I  had  practised  my  profession  long,  I  became 
dissatisfied  with  pill-peddling.  Mrs.  Smith  swallowed 
so  much  grease  and  bad  air,  so  neglected  exercise  and 
bathing,  sat  up  so  late  at  night  and  dressed  so  badly, 
that  she  felt  sick.  Mr.  Smith  called  and  requested  me 
to  visit  his  wife.  It  was  typhoid  fever.  In  a  week 
the  table  was  filled  with  bottles  and  the  air  with  smeUs. 
In  a  month  the  patient  crawled  to  the  front  window, 
and,  as  I  trotted  by  with  my  old  gray  horse,  said,  faintly, 
"  There  goes  the  man  who  saved  my  life."  This  wait- 
ing for  people   to   get  sick,  this  running  about  from 


380  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

house  to  house  all  day,  and  sometimes  aU  niglit,  trying 
to  relieve  the  victims  of  appetite  and  ignorance,  became 
at  length  discouraging  and  disgusting. 

"We  doctors  know  that  a  hundredth  part  of  the  time 
and  labor  we  bestow  upon  the  sick  would  prevent  the 
sickness.  We  become  dissatisfied,  and  long  for  some 
service  more  genuine  and  important  than  trotting  about 
at  the  tail  of  ignorance.  We  long  to  instruct,  guide, 
and  elevate.  But  it  is  difficult  to  mix  hygiene  with 
pills,  so  most  doctors  say  little  of  hygiene  and  push  their 
piUs.  I  was  not  dependent  upon  my  profession,  so  it 
was  comparatively  easy  for  me  to  follow  my  convictions. 
Abandoning  pills  more  than  twenty  years  ago,  I  began 
to  teach  the  laws  of  health.  My  first  step  was  the 
publication  of  the  "  Journal  of  Health."  This  was  fol- 
lowed by  eight  years  of  public  lecturing.  During  the 
last  five  of  these  years  all  my  spare  hours  were  devoted 
to  inventing  a 

NEW  SYSTEM  OF  GYMNASTICS. 

Twelve  years  since,  believing  that  I  had  developed 
a  valuable  system,  I  sought  advice  of  several  prominent 
educators  about  the  best  method  of  introducing  it 
They  agreed  that  the  bearer  of  any  important  edu- 
cational communication  would  find  Boston  the  best 
platform.  So  I  came  to  Boston,  and  established  the 
"Normal    Institute  for  Physical  Education."      More 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  381 

than  three  hundred  graduates  from  this  institution  have 
gone  out  as  teachers.  Three  are  teaching  in  Oregon, 
several  in  California,  and  three  or  four  in  Kentucky 
and  Tennessee.  The  rest  of  them  are  scattered  through- 
out the  Eastern,  Middle,  and  Western  States.  The  new 
system  has  been  adopted  in  Great  Britain,  both  in  the 
gymnasia  and  in  many  colleges  and  seminaries.  Within 
a  year  I  liave  received  two  circulars  from  towns  in 
Scotland,  in  which  it  is  stated  that  the  undersigned  is 
the  only  representative  in  town  of  tlie  "Dio  Lewis 
System  of  Musical  Gymnastics."  This  is  the  name  by 
which  the  new  system  is  known  in  Great  Britain.  A 
few  years  ago  the  new  American  method  was  intro- 
duced into  the  public  schools  of  several  German  cities 
and  towns,  and  in  some  cases  with  public  ceremonies. 
A  gentleman  called  to  tell  me  that  last  winter  he  hap- 
pened to  be  present  at  a  public  exhibition  of  a  young 
ladies'  seminary  in  St.  Petersburg,  and  among  the  exer- 
cises in  the  programme  was  a  performance  of  the  "Dio 
Lewis  Calisthenics."  Moses  Coit  Tyler,  after  grad- 
uating from  the  "  Normal  Institute  for  Physical  Educa- 
tion," went  out  to  London  some  years  ago,  and  gave 
three  years  to  advocating  and  teaching  the  "  Musical 
Gymnastics."  Many  converts  and  warm  adherents 
were  found  among  leading  educators  and  other  public 
men.  Dr.  Garth  Wilkinson,  I  remember,  gave  in  his 
adhesion,  and  took  many  private  lessons  of  Professor 


382  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

Tyler,  which  were  given  early  in  the  morning  out  in 
the  doctor's  beautiful  garden. 

In  1862  I  published,  through  Ticknor  and  Fields,  a 
considerable  volume,  in  which  the  new  system  was 
carefully  and  fully  set  forth.  The  work  was  profusely 
illustrated,  and  passed  through  many  editions.  In 
1868  it  was  rewritten  and  reillustrated.  The  work  has 
been  published  with  full  illustrations  in  London,  by 
William  Tweedie,  and  largely  circulated  throughout 
Great  Britain  and  Australia.  A  small  volume  might 
be  filled  with  facts  like  the  above.  The  new  school  of 
physical  culture  has  made  its  way  into  all  civilized 
countries,  and  become  everywhere  an  educational  force. 

In  explanation  of  the  "  New  School  of  Physical 
Training,"  I  take  tlie  liberty  to  publish  the  subjoined 
paragraphs  from  Professor  Moses  Coit  Tyler's  address 
before  the  "  College  of  Preceptors  "  in  London,  upon 
Tlie  Neio  Gymnastics  as  an  Instrument  in  Education,  on 
March  7,  1864 :  — 

"Second,  concerning  the  mode  of  its  employment. 
Under  this  head  there  are  several  particulars  to  which 
I  wish  to  direct  your  attention,  and  the  first  has  refer- 
ence to  a  gymnastic  principle  interpreted  by  a  law  in 
mechanics.  Momentum  is  made  up  of  two  factors, 
weight  and  velocity.  Allowing  momentum  to  remain 
the  permanent  quantity,  the  greater  the  weight,  the 
less  the  velocity ;  and  conversely,  the  greater  the  ve- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  383 

locity,  the  less  must  be  the  weight.  Passing  over  to 
the  reahn  of  gymnastics,  that  term  which  corresponds 
to  momentum  is  the  amount  of  exertion  each  one  is 
capable  of  putting  forth  with  safety;  and  it  is  plain 
that  if  you  have  heavy  weights,  you  must  have  slow 
movements,  and,  on  the  contrary,  if  you  would  have 
rapid  movements,  you  must  have  light  weights.  It 
costs  as  much  effort  to  pass  a  light  body  through  tlie 
air  swiftly  as  it  does  to  pass  a  heavy  one  slowly.  Now, 
the  more  common  idea  in  modern  gymnastics  has  been 
to  give  prominence  to  weight.  How  many  pounds  can 
you  put  up  ?  what  vast  herculean  burden  can  you 
carry  ?  have  been  the  test  questions,  and  have  indi- 
cated the  direction  of  the  average  gymnastic  ambition. 
But  the  new  system  inverts  this  order,  and  seeks  to 
give  prominence  to  the  idea  of  velocity  in  gymnastics 
rather  than  of  weight.  It  claims  that  a  better  muscu- 
lar result  is  obtained  by  this  method.  It  claims  that 
while  huge  lifting-power  is  quite  desirable  for  one  who 
designs  following  the  profession  of  a  porter  or  a  hod- 
carrier  or  a  coal-heaver,  it  is  not  so  important  for  ladies 
and  gentlemen  in  the  more  usual  avocations  of  life  as 
flexibility,  grace,  ease,  fineness  rather  than  massive- 
ness,  poise,  perfect  accuracy,  and  rapidity  of  muscular 
action,  and  a  general  diffusion  of  muscular  vigor.  Dr. 
Lewis  is  fond  of  illustrating  the  differentia  in  the  sys- 
tems —  on  the  one  hand  of  weight,  on  the  other  hand 


384  FIFE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

of  velocity  —  by  pointing  to  the  van-horso,  with  his  vast 
though  stiff  muscles,  with  his  slow,  ponderous,  ele- 
phantine movements,  just  fit  to  draw  burdens  for  the 
world,  and  then  to  the  carriage-horse,  with  his  grace- 
ful, airy,  elastic  step,  his  rapid  movement,  his  vivacity, 
his  fineness  of  nerve  and  muscle." 

In  addition  to  the  annual  class  in  the  "  Normal  In- 
stitute for  Physical  Education,"  a  large  hall  was  opened 
in  this  city  for  the  training  of  persons  of  both  sexes 
and  all  ages,  which  was  constantly  filled  by  enthusi- 
astic crowds.  A  large  number  of  young  ladies  appeared 
among  the  patrons. 

At  the  end  of  three  years  I  began  to  think  seriously 
of  establishing  an  institution  in  which  I  could  have 
the  entire  charge  of  the  training  of  a  company  of 
girls,  —  not  only  of  their  muscular  training,  but  of 
their  sleep,  dress,  food,  etc.,  etc.  I  longed  to  illustrate 
the  possibilities  in  the  physical  development  of  girls 
during  their  school-days.  The  girls  in  town  came  one 
or  two  evenings  a  week  to  my  hall,  but  I  could  have 
nothing  to  say  about  the  other  conditions  of  health,  so 
that  the  physical  training  of  three  hours  a  week  was 
overwhelmed  by  a  bad  regimen  at  home.  And  now  I 
have  reached  the  purchase  of  the  large  buildings  at 
Lexington. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  385 

THE  ESTABLISHMENT  OF  THE  SCHOOL. 

After  long  consultations  with  wise  friends,  I  pur- 
cliased,  in  May,  1864,  the  great  hotel  buildings  stand- 
ing on  the  famous  battle-ground  at  Lexington,  ten 
miles  from  Boston.  Containing  between  one  and  two 
hundred  large,  airy  rooms,  the  buildings  were  substan- 
tial and  beautiful.  The  lecture-hall,  formerly  the  ball- 
room, was  remarkably  fine. 

Lexington  is  situated  upon  high  ground,  singularly 
healthy,  in  the  midst  of  a  beautiful  agricultural  district ; 
while  the  people,  who  are  in  considerable  part  descend- 
ants of  the  Eevolutionary  heroes,  constitute  one  of  the 
most  quiet  and  intelligent  communities  in  New  Eng- 
land. With  these  immediate  surroundings,  within  easy 
reach  of  Boston  by  railway,  and  in  buildings  which 
could  not  have  been  better  contrived  had  they  been 
erected  for  the  purpose,  I  prepared  for  the  opening  of 
my  new  school. 

BRILLLiNT  CORPS  OF  TEACHERS. 

In  the  selection  of  the  corps  of  teachers  I  was  singu- 
larly fortunate.  The  friends  and  patrons  of  the  Lex- 
ington school  can  never  be  sufficiently  grateful  for  the 
co-operation  of  Theodore  D.  Weld. 

Eecently,  at  a  dinner-table,  a  number  of  gentlemen 
were  discussing  great  men.  Each  of  us  in  turn  was 
17 


386  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

called  upon  to  answer  the  question,  "  Who  among  all 
the  men  you  have  ever  met  impressed  you  as  greatest  ? " 

One  man,  a  native  Bostonian,  cried  out,  "  Webster ! 
Why,  Webster,  of  course." 

Another  one,  who  had  lived  a  good  deal  abroad, 
thought  "Archbishop  Manning  carried  most  brains." 

Still  another  thought  that,  of  all  the  men  he  had  ever 
met,  "  Kossuth  was  the  greatest." 

And  so  we  went  on  until  it  came  my  turn,  and  I 
said,  that  during  my  time  I  had  seen  a  hundred  per- 
sons, more  or  less,  who  were  considered  great,  and  that 
of  all  the  men  I  had  ever  met  I  considered  Theodore 
D.  Weld  the  greatest,  that  his  mind  was  most  philo- 
sophical and  perfectly  balanced,  that  his  moral  devel- 
opment was  most  harmonious  and  complete. 

In  early  life,  Mr.  Weld  gave  himself  to  the  anti- 
slavery  platform.  I  heard  Wendell  Phillips  say,  in 
Music  Hall,  in  speaking  of  Mr.  Weld,  "  His  were  the 
most  eloquent  lips  that  have  ever  addressed  the  Ameri- 
can people  on  the  subject  of  human  liberty." 

More  than  thirty  years  ago  Mr.  Weld  lost  his  voice, 
and  was  compelled  to  retire  from  public  life,  to  the  infi- 
nite regret  of  the  friends  of  liberty.  Then,  accompa- 
nied by  his  remarkable  wife,  Angelina  Grinke,  of  South 
Carolina,  he  retired  to  a  small  village  in  the  State  of 
New  Jersey,  where  he  established  a  small  private  school, 
which  was  supported  by  Gerrit  Smith  and  other  lead- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  387 

ing  abolitionists.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  AVeld  remained  in  this 
educational  work  in  New  Jersey  more  than  twenty 
years,  almost  unknown,  except  to  the  few  families 
whose  young  people  they  trained  to  noble  uses. 

I  had  the  great  pleasure  to  visit  the  school,  and  will 
only  say  that  its  organization  and  management  evinced 
an  originality  so  remarkable,  a  comprehension  so  com- 
plete, and  a  moral  fervor  so  intense,  that  I  have  never 
since  been  able  to  visit  a  school,  or  think  of  one,  with- 
out that  remarkable  company  of  young  men  and  women 
gathered  about  their  idolized  teacher  rising  up  before 
me.  I  visited  Mr.  Weld's  school  in  New  Jersey  more 
than  once,  and  never  without  a  yearning  to  see  an  edu- 
cational institution  in  which  this  gTand  man,  with  all 
his  magnetism  and  noble  thought  freed  frorii  business 
responsibilities,  might  be  brought  face  to  face  with  a 
great  company  of  young  people. 

The  happiest  day  during  the  months  of  preparation 
was  that  on  which  Mr.  Weld  consented  to  join  me  in 
the  management  of  the  school. 

Even  in  the  first  year's  corps  there  were  several 
teachers  whom  it  would  be  pleasant,  and  perhaps  profit- 
able, to  portray  ;  but  as  I  propose  only  a  brief  history 
of  the  institution  at  this  time,  I  cannot  find  space  for 
such  biographical  sketches.  Gratitude,  however,  com- 
pels me  to  mention  Zerdahelyi,  the  distinguished  pian- 
ist, one  of  our  regular  music-teachers,  who  remained 


388  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

with  us  until  the  final  close  of  the  school.  Zerdahelyi, 
to  whom  Liszt  dedicated  his  famous  Hungarian  Waltz, 
had  had  a  remarkable  career,  both  as  a  musician  and  as 
an  Hungarian  patriot.  Banished  with  Kossuth,  of  whose 
staff  he  was  a  member,  he  accompanied  his  great  and 
steadfast  friend  to  London,  where  for  some  years  he  de- 
voted himself  to  music.  The  musical  critics  of  London 
pronounced  him  the  greatest  performer  upon  the  piano 
who  had  visited  that  city  in  many  years.  Coming  to 
America,  he  saw  our  cities,  selected  Boston,  and,  receiv- 
ing a  few  advanced  pupils,  he. achieved  immediate  dis- 
tinction. The  Hon.  George  H.  Snelling,  one  of  the 
wisest  and  most  philosophical  friends  of  education  in 
New  England,  brought  Zerdahelyi  to  me,  with  reference 
to  his  possible  identification  with  the  Lexington  school 
After  many  interviews,  Zerdahelyi  entered  with  all  his 
great  heart  into  our  scheme,  and,  as  already  stated,  re- 
mained in  the  institution  till  the  close  of  its  history. 
When  we  came  to  have  a  hundred  music-pupils  and  a 
number  of  music-teachers,  Zerdahelyi  was  ever  the  ad- 
viser and  guide  in  every  interest  of  that  important 
department.  But  I  must  close  with  the  simple  state- 
ment that  the  corps  of  teachers  in  the  school  at  Lex- 
ington was  one  of  the  most  remarkable  ever  gathered 
in  any  institution  of  learning. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  389 

THE  QUESTION  OF  A   SEPARATE  SCHOOL. 

Of  course  there  was  long  and  anxious  thought  on 
the  question  of  a  separate  school.  I  had  condemned 
the  separate  system.  Boys  and  girls  together  seemed 
to  me  the  natural  system.  This  conviction  is  growing 
stronger  and  stronger  with  me. 

The  Creator  is  not  mistaken  in  introducing  both  sexes 
into  the  same  family.  The  boys  and  girls  stay  at  home 
till  they  are  twenty  years  old  or  more,  and  the  arrange- 
ment seems  to  work  well.  I  have  noticed  that  the 
brothers  and  sisters  seem  to  be  happy  with  each  other, 
and  I  have  heard  both  men  and  women  refer  to  this 
life  at  the  old  homestead  with  peculiar  pleasure.  I 
have  watched  boys  and  girls  mixed  in  families,  and  it 
has  seemed  everywhere  to  work  admirably.  A  hun- 
dred times  I  have  talked  with  parents  about  it,  and  find 
that  uniformly  they  cherish  the  idea  that  this  mixing 
boys  and  girls  in  the  same  family  has  a  very  happy  in- 
fluence on  both  sexes,  —  that  the  girls  are  stronger  and 
the  boys  more  gentle. 

My  friend,  a  young  clergyman,  went  to  California  in 
1854  to  work  in  the  mines  for  his  health.  He  remained 
in  a  single  mining  locality  in  the  mountains  about  four 
years.  At  first  there  were  no  Avomen.  He  did  not 
know  that  men  could  be  so  dirty,  coarse,  and  brutal. 
Drunkenness,  sliort  pipes,  red  shirts,  dirty  boots,  pro- 


390  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

fanity,  pistols,  bowie-knives,  fights,  and  street  bowlings 

constituted  life  in  F diggings.     A  few  women  came, 

and  men  put  on  coats  and  better  manners.  Finally  the 
wives  and  children  of  the  miners  began  to  come,  and 
soon  there  were  families  enough  to  make  a  society. 
The  change  in  the  dress  and  manners  of  the  miners  was 
something  wonderful.  Soon  there  was  a  church,  two 
Sunday  schools,  and  then  public  schools.  "  No  one," 
said  my  friend,  "  who  came  to  us  at  the  end  of  four 
years  could  have  believed  our  stories  about  our  social 
life  in  the  early  days." 

I  was  stopping  at  a  country  tavern  during  a  severe 
thunder-shower.  There  were  about  twenty  of  us,  all 
men.  Much  of  the  language  used  was  enough  to  make 
insensibility  blush.  They  began  to  smoke  and  sprawl 
their  legs  about,  and  behave  as  men  generally  do  when 
alone.  In  the  midst  of  the  noisy  goings-on,  a  lady  and 
gentleman  came  quickly  in  out  of  the  storm.  It  was 
positively  funny  to  see  how  the  heels  came  down,  the 
hats  straightened  up,  the  pipes  dodged  into  pockets,  and 
the  improper  language  stopped.  Those  of  us  who  were 
looking  on  burst  into  a  shout  at  the  sudden  transfor- 
mation. 

In  college  I  was  surprised  that  young  men  whom  I 
had  known  at  their  homes  as  quiet  gentlemen,  affec- 
tionate sons,  and  devoted  brothers  should  become  so 
coarse  and  rowdyish.  I  have  been  assured  that  the  same 
peculiarity  has  been  observed  in  many  colleges. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  391 

I  have  conversed  with  several  managers  of  ladies' 
seminaries,  who  think  that  girls  separated  from  society 
—  that  is,  from  association  with  men  —  become  less 
broad,  strong,  and  refined. 

One  intelligent  gentleman  at  the  head  of  a  ladies' 
seminary  assured  me  that  his  attention  had  been  called 
to  a  peculiar  demoralization  among  his  pupils.  He 
mentioned  many  evidences,  and  among  them  the  habit 
of  talking  slang. 

In  establishing  the  school  at  Lexington,  this  question 
of  the  separate  school  occupied  my  thoughts  for  many 
weeks.  In  deference  to  public  prejudice,  I  finally  con- 
cluded to  announce  it  as  a  girls'  school,  and  to  provide 
the  male  element  in  a  considerable  number  of  male 
teachers.  And  then  I  thought  that  after  the  school  was 
established  we  might  introduce  young  men  as  pupils. 
I  now  think  this  was  an  error.  If,  instead  of  tliirty 
girls  during  the  first  year,  we  had  had  fifteen  boys  and 
fifteen  girls,  we  should  have  laid  a  much  better  founda- 
tion ;  and  great  as  we  all  think  the  Lexington  experi- 
ment proved,  I  have  no  doubt  now  that  it  would  have 
been  much  greater  if  we  had  not  fallen  into  the  blunder 
of  the  separate  system. 

To  those  young  men  who  think  that  the  coeducation 
of  the  sexes  would  lower  the  standard,  to  those  who 
think  the  girls  would  hold  them  back,  I  have  only  to 
say  that  I  should  like  to  see  you,  my  smart  fellows. 


392  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

pursuing  a  course  of  studies  with  a  company  of  bright 
girls  such  as  they  have  in  the  various  departments  in 
the  ^Michigan  University.  If  you  were  to  study  law  or 
medicine  or  the  classics  with  those  young  girls,  it  would 
probably  cure  you  of  your  hallucination. 

THE  OPENING  OF  THE  SCHOOL. 

We  assembled  one  pleasant  morning  in  September, 
1864,  with  about  thirty  girls.  The  school  came  of  a 
new  idea.  The  public  generally  regarded  me  as  a 
monomaniac  upon  the  subject  of  physical  training, 
while  Mr.  Weld  was  known  to  be  a  radical.  It  was 
scarcely  possible  for  any  but  thinking,  independent 
people  to  patronize  us. 

These  thirty  daughters  constituted  a  rare  company. 

OUR  COSTUME. 

The  costume  which  for  years  had  been  worn  in  my 
gymnastic  classes  was  adopted  as  the  dress  of  the 
Lexington  school 

The  words  "  dress  reform  "  mean,  to  most  people,  a 
short  skirt.  Say  to  them  dress  reform,  and  they  reply 
with  the  question,  "  How  short  ? " 

The  features  of  the  dress  worn  by  our  pupils  may  be 
put  as  follows,  arranged  in  the  order  of  their  impor- 
tance. The  first  is  tenfold  more  important  than  the 
last :  — 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  393 

1st.    Perfect  liberty  about  the  waist. 

2d.  Perfect  liberty  about  the  shoulders,  permitting 
the  arm  to  be  thrust  smartly  upward  without  the 
slightest  check,  and  without  moving  the  waist  of  the 
dress. 

3d.  Warm  flannels,  extending  to  the  ankles  and 
wrists. 

4th.  Broad-soled,  low-heeled  shoes,  with  thick,  warm 
hose. 

5th.   A  skirt  falling  a  little  below  the  knee. 

In  regard  to  the  material,  each  pupil  was  left  to  her 
own  taste.  One  or  two  began  with  silk,  but  soon  gray 
flannel  became  the  common  dress,  a  Garibaldi  waist, 
and  often  no  ornament,  save  a  plain  white  collar  and 
wristbands.  A  considerable  proportion  of  the  pupils 
—  and  among  them  girls  who  at  home  had  worn  rich 
silks  and  jewelry  —  appeared  every  day  of  the  school 
year  in  a  gray  flannel  dress,  which  cost  perhaps  five 
dollars. 

When  I  look  at  one  of  those  stunning  curiosities 
composed  of  glaring  silk,  frills,  laces,  ribbons,  bows, 
and  jewelry,  I-  wonder  if  all  this  is  the  real  outcome 
of  a  girl's  nature.  Some  people  seem  to  think  so; 
but  then  how  does  it  happen  that  among  all  our  pupils 
in  Lexington  we  had  not  a  single  girl  with  a  girl's 
nature  ? 

I  wonder  if  there  is  any  such  difference  in  the  natu- 
17* 


394  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

ral  tastes  of  the  sexes  as  is  shown  in  their  dress? 
Here  are  two  babies,  one  of  either  sex.  Will  the  boy 
naturally  take  to  black  and  the  girl  to  the  rainbow  ? 
May  not  this  remarkable  dress  of  women  be  traced  to 
the  same  source  as  the  seven  hundred  and  thirty-nine 
drinks  of  a  famous  Parisian  saloon  ?  Are  not  both  the 
outgrowths  of  a  morbid  civilization  fostered  by  idle- 
ness ? 

Our  girls  at  Lexington  were  dominated  by  a  high 
purpose,  and  soon  forgot  the  follies  of  dress.  The  fact 
greatly  interested  me.  It  is  hard  to  think  that  this 
extravagant  ornamentation  is  natural  and  inevitable ; 
and  so  it  was  most  grateful  to  find  that  as  soon  as  the 
girls  of  Lexington  became  interested  in  something  else, 
they  ceased  to  ornament.  That  the  difference  in  dress 
between  the  sexes  among  us  is  not  the  outgrowth  of  a 
natural  difference  in  taste,  but  the  result  of  certain 
social  conditions,  is  illustrated  in  the  fact  that  among 
most  savage  tribes,  where  the  men  are  idlers  or  do  tlie 
fancy  work  and  the  women  do  the  plain,  hard  work,  the 
feathers  and  bright  paint  appear  only  upon  the  person 
of  the  male.  When  women  become  interested  in  lit- 
erature, especially  in  that  class  which  appeals  to  the 
heart,  or  when  they  enter  upon  some  Christian  work 
like  the  military-hospital  services  in  the  great  war,  they 
shed  their  finery  as  if  by  magic. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  395 

OUR  GYMNASTIC  EXERCISES. 

As  I  liave  said,  at  the  time  of  the  opening  of  our 
school  I  had  been  busy  for  more  than  ten  years  in  devis- 
ing a  new  system  of  gymnastics.  Indeed,  it  was  the 
promulgation  of  the  new  gymnastics  which  called  the 
attention  of  the  public  to  myself  as  an  educator.  This 
system  was,  as  so  many  physiologists  have  pronounced, 
the  result  of  much  careful  study. 

The  old  or  German  system  of  gymnastics  was  so  con- 
trived as  practically  to  exclude  women  from  any  con- 
siderable participation  in  its  benefits.  This  statement 
requires  no  illustration  or  proof.  It  was  the  only  sys- 
tem extant.  Some  trifling  calisthenics  were  known  and 
somewhat  practised,  but  nothing  at  all  comprehensive 
physiologically,  and  nothing  calculated  to  interest  the 
mind.  Nothing  of  value  was  known  outside  of  the  Ger-p 
man  gymnasium. 

It  was  a  curious  state  of  things.  Girls  and  women 
had  tenfold  more  need  of  a  physical  training  than  men 
and  boys  ;  and  yet,  while  all  sorts  of  games  —  boating, 
ball-playing,  boxing,  small-sword,  cane,  hunting,  fishing, 
and  a  dozen  others  —  were  in  vogue  for  men,  nothing 
had  been  contrived  for  women,  except,  perhaps,  corsets 
and  long  skirts.  Sometimes  they  attempted  base-baU, 
but  were  quickly  assured  that  the  thing  was  mon- 
strously  improper   and   entirely   outside   of    woman's 


396  FIVE-MINUTE  CEATS. 

sphere.  The  case  was  perfectly  plain.  The  prejudices 
of  society  forbade  women  any  participation  in  vigorous, 
physical  labor;  the  number  of  women  able  to  live 
without  remunerative  employment  was  rapidly  increas- 
ing, the  width  of  the  chest  and  jaws  constantly  de- 
creasing. Some  means,  some  comprehensive  system 
of  muscular  training  which  should  be  adapted  to  girls 
and  women,  which  could  be  participated  in  by  both 
sexes  conjointly,  and  which  should  possess  elements 
of  interest  and  fascination,  were  urgently  demanded. 
Comprehending  the  situation,  I  began,  more  than  twenty 
years  ago,  a  course  of  studies  and  experiments.  The 
system  of  gymnastics  now  known  as  the  "  new  system  " 
was  the  result  of  these  studies  and  experiments.  Per- 
haps I  should  say,  for  the  information  of  such  readers 
as  may  not  have  an  opportunity  to  witness  exercises  in 
the  new  school,  that  the  main  features  of  this  system 
are  the  following:  — 

1st.  The  movements  are  all  executed  with  very  light 
apparatus,  wooden  dumb-bells,  wooden  rings,  light 
wooden  rods,  small  clubs,  and  bean-bags. 

2d.  The  thoroughness  of  the  training  depends,  not 
upon  the  slow  movements  of  heavy  weights,  but  upon 
the  width,  sweep,  and  intensity  of  the  movements. 
For  example,  instead  of  "  putting  up  "  an  iron  dumb- 
bell of  great  weight  with  a  very  limited  and  slow 
motion,  with  the  light  wooden  dumb-bell  of  the  new 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  397 

school  an  immense  variety  of  difficult  feats  and  postur- 
ings  were  achieved,  thus  securing  an  infinite  variety 
and  combination  of  muscular  movements. 

3d.  Every  movement  is  adapted  to  music,  which 
enhances  the  interest  in  arm-movements  quite  as  much 
as  in  the  leg-movements  of  dancing. 

These  gymnastic  exercises  figured  conspicuously  in 
the  Lexington  school.  Each  pupil  began  with  a  half-hour 
or  two  or  three  half-hours  daily,  the  amount  being 
determined  by  the  strength  of  the  pupil.  I  believe 
that  the  gymnastic  exercises  in  that  school  were  more 
complete  than  have  ever  been  witnessed  in  any  other 
educational  institution.  Conscious  that  I  was  making 
the  first  effort  in  the  education  of  girls  to  combine 
thorough  physical  with  thorough  intellectual  training,  I 
gave  much  attention  to  the  gymnastic  exercises.  Among 
the  hundreds  of  girls  who  were  in  the  school  during  its 
liistory,  and  all  of  wliom  joined  in  the  physical  training, 
not  one  was  injured,  although  the  exercises  were  exceed- 
ingly comprehensive  and  thorough.  It  was  the  common 
fact  that  in  the  thirty-six  weeks  which  constituted  our 
scliool-year,  a  pupil  gained  three  inches  about  the  chest 
under  the  arms,  while  two  inches'  gain  about  the  arm 
near  the  shoulder  was  common.  Girls  who  came  to  us 
under  the  stipulation  that  they  should  not  go  up  more 
than  one  flight  because  of  physical  inability,  walked, 
before  the  school-year  ended,  twelve  to  sixteen  miles  on 


398  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

a  Saturday,  which  was  our  day  for  long  tramps.  Peri- 
odical and  sick  headaches,  with  which  a  majority  of 
the  girls  began  the  school-year,  disappeared  entirely 
before  the  end  of  it.  Stooping  shoulders  and  pro- 
jecting chins  soon  gave  w^ay,  while  the  carriage  of  our 
pupils  was  the  subject  of  general  remark  and  admira- 
tion. 

OUR  SLEEPING  HABITS. 

Believing,  as  I  do,  that  our  young  people,  with  their 
large,  active  brains  and  small  lungs,  need  more  sleep, 
we  began  at  once  to  retire  at  half  past  eight  o'clock. 
At  nine  o'clock  the  watchman  made  his  first  round; 
and  if  he  saw  a  light  in  any  of  the  pupils'  rooms,  he  at 
once  reported  the  fact  at  head-quarters.  This  retiring 
at  half  past  eight  o'clock  was  kept  up  througliout  the 
history  of  the  school,  but  no  other  feature  so  troubled 
the  pupils.  Just  in  proportion  as  the  head  is  too  large 
and  needs  more  sleep,  there  is  a  nervous  longing  to  sit 
up  to  a  late  hour.  ]\Iany  petitions  were  presented, 
signed  by  scores  of  the  pupils,  and  by  many  of  the 
teachers  on  their  behalf,  asking  me  to  extend  the  retir- 
ing hour  to  nine  o'clock.  In  one  case  I  think  such  a 
petition  was  signed  by  every  teacher  in  the  school.  To 
this  retiring  at  half  past  eight  o'clock  I  attribute  much 
of  the  remarkable  improvement  in  the  muscular  devel- 
opment and  health  among  the  pupils. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  399 

I  have  spoken  of  the  watchman.  This  was  a  feature 
in  our  management.  An  intelligent  person  was  em- 
ployed in  this  ofl&ce,  while  the  German  detective-clock 
told  us  at  a  glance  in  the  morning  if  he  had  failed  to 
visit  any  one  of  the  fourteen  points  in  the  school  build- 
ings every  half-hour  during  the  night.  This  was  an 
indispensable  precaution  against  fire  and  other  enemies. 

OUR  TABLE. 

Our  table  was  an  embodiment  of  certain  convictions 
which  I  had  cherished  for  many  years.  That  we  all 
ate  too  often  I  had  long  thought.  Twice  a  day  was 
my  idea.  Many  friends  said,  "  Twice  a  day  may  do 
very  well  for  adults,  but  is  it  often  enough  for  growing, 
hungry  school-girls  ?  "  Yes,  I  was  sure  of  it.  And  so 
we  ate  our  first  meal  at  half  past  seven  o'clock,  and  our 
second  and  last  meal  at  two  o'clock.  When  parents 
came  to  our  school  in  order  to  leave  a  daughter,  and 
learned  about  the  two-meal  plan,  they  were  sure  that 
Maggie  would  starve,  and  might  they  not  send  some 
boxes  of  food,  which  the  poor  dear  child  could  resort  to 
if  she  got  too  hungry  ?  The  girls  were  very  sure  they 
should  starve  to  death  !  But  all  these  ominous  proph- 
ecies failed.  The  girls  did  not  starve,  but,  on  the  con- 
trary, gained  in  flesh,  health,  and  strength. 

The  two-meal  system  was  one  of  the  really  valuable 
features  of  the  management.     With  two  meals  a  day. 


400  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

and  the  last  one  not  later  than  two  o'clock,  forty-nine 
girls  in  every  fifty  will  improve  in  digestion,  their 
skins  and  lips  will  become  softer,  their  breath  sweeter, 
they  will  sleep  better,  and  gain  in  flesh  and  strength. 

The  third  meal,  taken  as  late  as  six  o'clock,  is  an 
enemy  to  sleep,  and  to  that  complete  recuperation 
which  the  night's  rest  is  intended  to  secure.  If  there 
has  been  a  good  honest  day's  work  accomplished,  there 
is  fatigue ;  and  when  a  man  is  fatigued,  he  is  tired  all 
over,  his  stomach  not  less  than  his  back  and  head ;  and 
while  it  may  be  quite  proper  to  drink  a  pint  of  weak 
tea  and  milk,  or  thin,  hot  oatmeal  porridge,  it  is  as  great 
a  mistake  to  fill  the  stomach  with  food,  and  set  it  to  a 
task  of  three  to  six  hours,  as  it  would  be  to  put  the 
head  or  back  or  limbs  at  a  four-hour  task.  The  whole 
man  is  tired.  The  stomach,  on  account  of  its  marked 
weakness  among  us,  is  likely  to  be  quite  as  tired  as  any 
other  part  of  the  man,  and  needing  rest  quite  as  much. 
The  whole  man  needs  to  sleep  and  recuperate.  You 
may,  if  there  be  a  sense  of  faintness,  swallow  a  little 
gentle  stimulant,  such  as  already  suggested,  or  any 
other  similar  liquid  requiring  little  or  no  digestion. 

Among  our  girls  there  was  hard  work ;  fatigue  came 
with  the  night,  and  they  went  to  bed  at  half  past  eight 
o'clock,  with  the  stomach  and  every  other  part  of  the 
system  prepared  to  rest. 

The  best  food  for  girls   during  the  usual    school 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  401 

season,  which  is  mostly  cool,  is,  in  my  judgment,  beef 
and  mutton,  bread  and  potatoes,  cracked  wheat  and 
oatmeal.  In  great  part  the  preference  of  each  pupil 
for  more  or  less  of  each  of  these  articles  should  be 
found. 

Our  pupils  were  often  instructed  in  the  manner  of 
eating,  —  an  art  much  neglected  in  this  country.  They 
were  informed  that  the  only  direct  contribution  they 
could  make  to  their  digestion  must  be  made  in  the 
mouth,  and  that  contribution  must  be  made  in  a 
thorough  use  of  their  teeth.  After  the  food  passes  into 
the  stomach,  one  may  feel  never  so  anxious  about  it, 
one  may  cherish  the  strongest  desire  to  digest  well,  one 
may  wish  and  pray  over  it,  he  can  make  no  distinct 
contribution  to  the  digestion  of  his  dinner.  But  while 
the  food  is  in  his  mouth  he  can  easily  determine 
whether  it  shall  digest  well  or  ill ;  he  can  easily  de- 
termine that  it  shall  not  sour  in  liis  stomach,  or  "  sit 
like  an  iron  wedge."  In  other  words,  the  saliva  is  a 
potent  agent  in  digestion.  ■  If  the  food  is  thoroughly 
ground,  changed  into  a  perfect  paste  with  the  teeth  and 
saliva  alone,  a  perfect  digestion  is  almost  certain. 

DISCirLINE   OF   THE   SCHOOL. 

Having  briefly  considered  the  physiological  and  hy- 
gienic conditions  of  our  school,  I  come  naturally  to  its 
discipline.     I   have   known  something  of  the  life  of 


402  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

about  twenty  ladies'  seminaries.  If  I  were  asked  for 
my  opinion  about  their  faults,  I  should  say  that  their 
gravest  error  is  not  in  their  lack  of  physical  train- 
ing, but  in  their  discipline  or  government.  Girls 
are  not  absolutely  angelic,  as  so  many  young  men 
think,  but  they  are  human,  and  susceptible  of  de- 
moralization. A  certain  system  of  discipline  not 
uncommon  in  ladies'  seminaries  does  more  to  demoral- 
ize them  than  any  other  influence  or  agency  to  which 
they  are  exposed.  I  will  illustrate  the  vicious  system 
to  which  I  refer  by  an  actual  case. 

In Seminary  there  are  usually  about  one  hun- 
dred and  twenty  girls.  These  girls  are  from  fifteen  to 
twenty-two  years  of  age,  and  of  a  good  class.  They 
are  almost  all  from  families  attached  to  one  religious 
denomination,  and  I  think  that  more  than  half  of  the 
pupils  themselves  are  members  of  that  church.  There 
is  a  wall  around  the  grounds  of  the  establishment,  and 
the  girls  are  never  allowed  to  go  outside  of  it,  except 
when  attended  by  one  of  the  teachers,  and  none  but 
certain  prudent  teachers  of  mature  years  are  allowed 
to  accompany  them.  The  pupils  are  never  permitted 
to  correspond  with  any  one  outside  their  own  family 
circles,  and  all  their  correspondence,  no  matter  with 
whom,  must  pass  through  the  hands  of  the  principal, 
subject  to  such  examination  as  she  may  tliink  proper. 

No  young  lady  shall  call  upon  another  in  her  room. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  403 

Pupils  must  not  speak  to  each  other  without  per- 
mission, not  even  when  passing  in  the  halls  of  the 
dormitories. 

Pupils  occupying  the  same  bed  must  not  speak  to 
each  other  after  getting  into  bed ;  and  so  on,  and  so  on. 

When  those  one  hundred  and  twenty  girls  entered 
that  school,  they  came  from  their  mothers'  arms  in 
great  part  transparent,  honest,  and  pure.  More  than 
one  of  them  has  assured  me  that  she  was  shocked  by 
what  she  saw  upon  entering  the  school.  One  intelli- 
gent young  woman  said:  "The  greatest  intellectual 
activity  of  the  school  Was  seen  in  dodging  the  rules. 
We  were  not  allowed  to  speak  to  each  other  in  the 
passage-halls  nor  to  visit  other  pupils  in  their  rooms. 
To  make  sure  of  obedience,  a  teacher  or  a  teacher 
pupil  was  kept  constantly  at  the  end  of  each  hall  to 
watch.  To  circumvent  this  rule,  w^e  wrote  messages  on 
thin  bits  of  paper,  and,  squeezing  them  into  little  balls, 
we  threw  them  across  the  halls  into  the  bedrooms  of 
our  neighbors,  or,  passing  their  doors,  we  dodged  them 
in.  Then  we  cultivated  the  sign  language,  and,  open- 
ing the  opposite  doors  in  a  passage-hall,  we  communi- 
cated in  that  way.  We  might  have  nothing  to  say, 
but  we  contrived  to  think  up  sometliing. 

"  We  were  called  upon  every  morning  after  prayers  to 
report  if  we  had  transgressed  any  of  the  rules.  The 
rule  was  that  we  must  not  speak  to  each  other  in  the 


404  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

passage-halls.  I  am  confident  that  a  large  majority  of 
those  who  actually  did  speak  denied  it,  and  those  who 
did  not  speak  concealed  the  communication  in  other 
ways.  Another  rule  was  that  we  must  not  converse 
with  our  bedfellows  after  we  were  in  bed.  Wlien  I 
wanted  to  speak  with  my  companion,  I  addressed  an 
imaginary  person,  and  requested  that  imaginary  person 
to  whisper  in  the  ear  of  my  bedfellow  so  and  so.  She 
in  turn  would  request  the  invisible  third  party  to  tell 
me  so  and  so.  We  sometimes  kept  up  this  conversa- 
tion for  an  hour ;  and  when  we  were  asked  to  report 
any  violations  of  rules,  we  said  nothing  of  this  com- 
munication through  Bridget,  for  we  had  not  conversed ; 
we  had  corresponded  through  a  third  party,  and  that 
was  not  forbidden  by  the  rules.  Another  rule  forbade 
correspondence  except  through  the  principal  There 
was  hardly  a  young  man  in  town  who  cared  to  do  it 
that  did  not  correspond  with  one  or  more  of  our  girls. 
Indeed,  a  girl  who  had  not  a  stone-fence  correspondent 
was  considered  rather  slow,  and  one  who  had  an  active 
correspondence  with  two  or  more  young  men  tia  Stone 
Fence  post-office  was '  considered  particularly  bright. 
The  letter  was  slipped  under  a  stone  in  the  fence,  and 
perhaps  the  next  day  an  answer  was  found  in  the  same 
place.  It  was  a  perfectly  understood  thing  among  scores 
of  young  men.  If  among  our  girls  there  was  one  who 
had  no   correspondent   outside  the  lines,  another  gii-1 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  405 

would  arrange  for  her  tlirougli  her  own  coiTespondent. 
Durino-  the  nine  months  thousands  of  letters  were  thus 
passed  through  the  stone-wall  at  the  rear  of  our 
grounds." 

I  have  given  but  a  faint  glimpse  of  the  life  in  the 
school  under  consideration.  In  brief,  it  was  a  life  of 
trickery,  deceit,  and  falsehood  from  day  to  day  through- 
out the  year. 

Tens  of  thousands  of  the  women  of  the  better  classes 
in  our  country  have  been  sadly  demoralized  in  this  way. 
For  myself,  I  had  rather  my  daughter  should  never 
learn  to  read  the  name  of  the  God  who  made  her  than 
to  pass  through  such  a  school  of  cheating  and  lying. 

I  repeat  what  I  said  in  the  beginning,  —  that  the 
greatest  error  in  the  management  of  many  ladies'  semi- 
naries is  in  the  discipline.  The  pupils  are  systemati- 
cally taught  to  conceal  and  deceive ;  and  though  they 
leave  the  seminary  with  additions  to  their  French  and 
music,  they  are  no  longer  the  simple,  trusting,  honest 
girls  that  came  from  their  mothers  three  years  before. 
It  is  this  moral  mischief  which  has  broken  the  con- 
fidence of  so  many  of  our  best  people.  Girls'  private 
schools  are  waning.  Scores  which  were  flourishing  a 
few  years  ago  have  disappeared.  Their  advantages  in 
many  respects  no  one  doubts,  but  their  moral  training, 
their  pious  discipline,  has  undermined  public  confidence. 
Many  mothers  have  been  themselves  the  victims  of  this 


406  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

bad  system,  and  will  not  expose  their  daughters,  and 
many  others  have  heard  and  are  frightened  off.  It  re- 
quires, even  here  in  educational  Xew  England,  constant 
effort  in  advertising  and  personal  appeal  to  keep  up  the 
patronage ;  and  even  with  all  this  engineering,  ladies' 
seminaries  are  constantly  disappearing.  And  yet,  after 
a  very  considerable  acquaintance  with  them,  I  affirm 
that  their  intellectual  standard  and  training  are  high ; 
that,  indeed,  outside  of  their  utterly  vicious  system  of 
discipline,  these  schools  are  worthy  of  public  confidence 
and  patronage.  But  without  a  radical  change  in  the 
spirit  of  their  government,  they  must  entirely  disappear. 
The  life  of  the  convent  cannot  succeed  in  this  country. 
Such  schoools  may  flourish  in  Spain  and  France,  but 
not  in  these  free  States.  The  drift  of  woman's  life  in 
Spain  is  one  thing,  the  drift  of  woman's  life  in  America 
is  another.  In  each  country  the  school  for  young 
women  must  reflect  public  sentiment.  A  ladies'  semi- 
nary in  Spain  which  should  permit  personal  liberty  to 
its  pupils  would  lose  the  confidence  of  the  public  and 
die  out.  A  ladies'  seminary  in  America  whose  policy 
deprives  its  pupils  of  personal  liberty  must  lose  the 
confidence  of  the  public  and  disappear.  In  other  words, 
a  girls'  school  is  a  part  of  the  life  of  the  people,  and 
must  in  spirit  and  manners  reflect  the  intellectual, 
social,  and  moral  life  of  the  people. 

Excuse  me  for  this  extended  criticism  of  some  of  our 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  ^'J 

ladies'  schools.  It  seemed  to  be  necessary  as  a  back- 
ground for  what  I  have  to  say  of  the  government  of  the 
school  at  Lexington. 

I  had  noticed  that  when  young  ladies  were  in  society 
in  a  drawing-room  with  persons  of  their  own  age,  and 
with  older  people  whom  they  respected,  their  conduct 
was  good,  that  they  observed  the  laws  of  propriety,  and 
promptly  performed  every  duty.  And  yet  there  were 
no  written  rules.  Why  did  they  behave  themselves  so 
well? 

I  observed  that  in  church,  in  the  street,  everywhere 
outside  of  the  school,  girls  were  admirable  in  their  con- 
duct. Why  do  these  creatures  that  realize  our  ideal  of 
a  beautiful  life  everywhere  else  need  to  be  put  under  a 
strict  police,  every  step  watched,  and  every  letter  super- 
vised, as  though  they  were  political  prisoners,  as  soon 
as  they  enter  a  girls'  school  ?  The  consciousness  of 
being  the  object  of  suspicion  is  itself  demoralizing.  It 
humiliates  one  and  destroys  one's  self-respect, 

I  resolved  that  in  the  Lexington  school  this  bad 
policy  should  find  no  place;  that  there,  at  least,  girls 
should  be  treated  with  respect,  and  their  individuality 
recognized. 

The  pupils  corresponded  with  their  friends  at  pleas- 
ure. No  laws  were  laid  down  to  govern  their  conduct, 
no  record  was  kept  of  their  behavior.  They  were 
treated  exactly  as  young  ladies  are  treated  outside  of 


408  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

school,  with  respect  and  kindness,  and  they  responded 
in  scliool  to  this  treatment  just  as  they  respond  to  it 
outside  of  school.  They  "were  the  best  behaved  per- 
sons in  our  community. 

Of  course  to  secure  these  results  there  must  exist  a 
certain  public  sentiment. 

At  this  point  I  must  say  something  again  of  the 
character  of  our  teachers.  These  were  not  selected  on 
account  of  their  familiarity  with  the  text-books, — 
though  this  was  of  course  necessarj",  —  b^^t  because  of 
their  years,  general  intelligence,  good  manners,  and 
moral  dignity.  With  a  score  of  teachers  of  high  char- 
acter and  refined  manners,  —  and  no  others  should 
ever  find  a  place  in  a  school,  —  a  public  sentiment 
soon  grows  up  which  makes  it  as  difi&cult  for  a  girl 
to  do  an  improper  thing,  or  neglect  a  duty,  as  to  be 
guilty  of  an  impropriety  in  manners  in  a  drawing-room 
under  the  eye  of  intelligent  and  refined  people.  The 
girls  at  Lexington  who  had  been  in  other  schools  were 
never  tired  of  contrasting  the  spirit  of  our  school  with 
others. 

"  Here,"  they  would  say,  "  we  are  trusted,  and  could 
not  think  of  doing  a  mean  thing."  One  excellent  girl, 
who  had  spent  two  years  in  the  school  referred  to  in 
this  chapter,  said :  "  There  I  had  to  be  good,  but  I  could 
not  avoid  joining  in  some  of  the  tricks,  or  the  girls 
would  have  laughed  at  me ;  but  here  I  have  not  heard 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  409 

a  dodge  or  evasion  suggested.  After  being  here  two 
years,  I  have  not  heard  a  pupil  hint  at  a  disobedience. 
What,  indeed,  is  there  to  disobey  ?  If  one  of  the  girls 
should  suggest  a  naughty  thing,  I  am  sure  the  rest  of 
us  would  hoot  her 'out  of  the  school." 

I  am  confident  that  the  largest  contribution  to  the 
development  of  our  girls  was  in  the  moral  region.  Our 
girls  learned  to  respect  themselves  and  to  act  on  honor. 
If  they  were  inspired,  it  was  toward  a  true,  noble 
womanhood.  With  such  teachers  and  companions  as 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Weld,  and  many  others  of  our  corps, 
even  a  common  nature  was  soon  filled  with  high  and 
holy  ambitions. 

I  have  met  teachers  with  the  text-books  at  their 
finger-tips  who  were  no  more  fit  to  teach  school  than  is 
a  man  who  cannot  read  or  write. 

SCHOOL  GOVERNMENT. 

Some  years  ago  I  attended  a  teachers'  convention,  in 
which  the  subject  of  corporeal  punishment  was  up  for 
discussion.  There  was  a  remarkable  difference  of  opin- 
ion among  the  speakers,  and  I  fancied,  as  each  speaker 
rose,  I  could  tell  from  his  face  before  he  spoke  what  his 
opinion  would  be.  One  man  got  up,  and  I  whispered 
to  my  companion,  — 

"  He  will  go  in  for  the  rod  strong." 

He   referred   immediately  to   Solomon's   injunction, 

18 


410  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

and  expressed  the  conviction  that  one  of  the  duties  of 
children  was  to  obey.  And  if  they  would  not  obey 
willingly,  they  must  be  made  to  obey  unwillingly. 
Without  obedience  there  was  no  organization,  no  school, 
no  education.  He  was  as  much  in  favor  of  kindness  as 
any  man,  —  always  preferred  moral  suasion  to  whip 
suasion ;  but  when  moral  suasion  failed,  then  of  course, 
etc.,  etc.  Immediately  upon  his  taking  his  seat  another 
person  rose,  and  I  touched  my  companion,  and  whis- 
pered, — 

"  Now  you  'U  hear  another  story.  This  one  won't  go 
in  for  lick-suasion." 

His  opinion  on  the  subject  of  beating  children  in 
school  was  written  all  over  him.     He  began  with,  — 

"  Mr.  President,  I  agree  with  the  last  speaker.  We 
must  have  obedience.  AVithout  it  a  school  is  a  pande- 
monium, and  education  impossible." 

Then  he  went  on  to  give  something  of  his  own  personal 
experience.  He  said:  "I  have  taught  school  twenty- 
two  years.  During  the  first  year  I  whipped  four  boys, 
and  am  ashamed  whenever  I  think  of  it.  Xever  since 
then  have  I  been  guilty  of  such  a  brutality.  I  have 
taught  in  several  schools  reputed,  to  be  unruly,  and 
which  had  had  serious  struggles  or  actual  fights  with 
my  predecessors,  but  I  have  in  no  case  been  obliged  to 
resort  to  corporeal  punishment.  In  one  instance  it 
seemed  to  me  I   had  come  to  the  end  of  my  moral 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  411 

influence,  and  must  appeal  to  the  whip.  Indeed,  I 
secretly  provided  myself  with  a  raw-hide,  and  had 
made  up  my  mind  that  upon  the  recurrence  of  a  cer- 
tain impropriety  on  the  part  of  a  certain  pupil,  I  would 
fall  back  on  Solomon  and  the  rod.  After  thus  fully 
arming  myself,  I  suffered  a  re\Tilsion  of  feeling,  and 
determined  to  try  one  other  expedient,  which  I  had 
often  thought  of,  but  never  resorted  to.  I  requested 
about  a  dozen  of  my  largest  pupils  to  remain  after 
school,  for  a  little  consultation.  When  all  the  others 
had  left,  I  opened  my  heart  to  seven  girls  and  four 
boys.  Expressing  a  thorough  abhorrence  of  the  whip, 
I  told  them  that  I  saw  nothing  but  resignation  or  a 
resort  to  the  old  barbarism.  I  reserved  nothing,  but 
spoke  with  them  as  if  they  had  all  been  teachers,  and 
concluded  by  asking  them  if  they  had  any  suggestions 
to  offer.  After  some  moments  of  reflection,  one  of  the 
larger  girls  said, '  WUl  you  let  Mary,  Susan,  and  my- 
self speak  to  Dan,  —  "  labor  with  him,"  as  the  church 
folks  say  ? ' 

"  I  need  not  tell  you  that  the  three  girls  were  made 
a  committee  to  labor  with  my  refractory  pupil.  I  am 
sure  I  need  not  inform  you  that  the  girls  were  com- 
pletely successful.  From  that  time  to  the  end  of  my 
connection  with  that  school  my  relations  were  pecu- 
liarly pleasant.  Nothing  appeals  so  successfully  to  the 
better  nature  of  the  larger  pupils  of  a  school  as  to  be 


412  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

called  to  consult  with  the  master  in  a  matter  of  disci- 
pline. I  have  never  forgotten  that  lesson,  and  have 
ever  since  looked  back  upon  it  as  the  most  fortunate 
incident  of  my  career  as  a  pedagogue.  That  teacher 
who  cannot  squelch  any  insurrection  by  a  confidential 
appeal  to  his  older  pupils  must  be  on  very  bad  terms 
with  his  school,  and  ought  not  to  be  permitted  to  kick 
and  cuff  and  beat  his  way  through  his  term." 

The  first  speaker  sprang  to  his  feet  at  this  point,  and 
in  a  loud  voice  wished  to  know  if  the  gentleman  would 
permit  him  to  ask  a  question.  Upon  being  assured 
that  he  might  ask  questions,  or  have  the  floor  to  speak, 
at  his  pleasure,  he  replied  by  saying,  — 

"  I  wish  to  ask  one  question :  Does  the  gentleman 
mean  to  say  that  he  regards  whipping  imder  all  cir- 
cumstances as  brutal  and  barbarous  ?  If  he  does,  I  will 
inform  him  that  he  is  now  in  a  company  of  brutes  and 
barbarians,  and  I  would  advise  him  to  seek  better  com- 
pany." 

The  moral-suasion  gentleman  replied  that  in  the  dis- 
cussion of  so  gi-ave  a  problem  he  should  not  engage  in 
mere  personal  sparring.  If  it  appeared  that  a  school 
could  be  managed  without  resorting  to  personal  vio- 
lence, he  should  not  hesitate  to  pronounce  the  inflic- 
tion of  physical  torture  as  brutal  and  barbarous. 

I  came  away  from  the  discussion  with  the  conviction 
that  the  proper  subject  for  debate  in  that  convention 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  413 

was  not,  "  Is  corporeal  punishment  necessary  in  the  gov- 
ernment of  a  school  ? "  but,  "  What  degree  of  intellect- 
ual and  moral  development  is  necessary  in  a  school- 
teacher ? "  That  some  persons  can  teach  school  —  even 
a  large  unruly  school  —  without  a  resort  to  corporeal 
punishment  is  admitted  by  all.  I  have  known  several 
striking  illustrations  of  this  power.  Indeed,  I  think  it 
is  common  with  reference  to  the  management  of  an 
average  school. 

When  I  was  a  boy  our  school  was  reported  unruly. 
Mr.  Jennison  came  first.  The  boys  put  a  big  cat  in 
his  desk,  which  jumped  out  in  the  middle  of  the  fore- 
noon when  he  opened  his  desk  to  get  his  reading-book. 
There  was  a  great  laugh,  and  the  teacher  gave  us  a  long 
and  angry  lecture,  and  told  us  that  if  the  thing  occurred 
again,  he  would  certainly  find  out  who  did  it,  and  that 
that  boy  would  never  forget  his  punishment  the  longest 
day  he  ever  lived. 

Tom  Goodrich,  who  put  in  the  cat,  said  he  would 
never  put  in  another  cat,  because  the  teacher  was  dis- 
pleased with  it,  and  for  his  part  he  would  never  dis- 
please a  teacher,  not  if  he  knew  it.  He  thought  it  was 
wrong  for  scholars  to  disobey  their  teachers.  He  put 
no  more  cats  into  the  teacher's  desk,  but  he  succeeded 
in  finding  some  other  means  of  annoyance,  and  the 
master  was  soon  compelled  to  leave. 

Samuel  Lathrop  was  our  next  teacher,  and  he  stayed 


414  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

almost  a  month.  For  a  teacher  among  us,  he  got  to 
be  almost  an  old  settler,  but  after  four  long  weeks  he 
got  into  trouble,  and  left.  The  mischief  began  in  that 
fatal  desk.  Tom  Goodrich,  the  bad,  was  unfortunately 
an  ingenious  boy,  and  contrived  what  he  called  a  back- 
action  friction-machine,  and  put  it  into  that  desk.  It 
was  so  contrived  that  when  the  lid  of  the  desk  was 
opened,  it  set  a  bunch  of  matches  going,  and  that  in- 
stantly ignited  a  little  train  of  powder  which  ran  in 
among  six  bunches  of  fire-crackers.  It  worked  per- 
fectly the  first  time  the  master  opened  the  desk. 

After  the  screaming  was  over,  the  frightened  girls 
coaxed  back,  and  the  smoke  had  cleared  away,  the 
master  called  out,  "Thomas  Goodrich." 

"Yes." 

"  Come  here." 

Tom  went  to  the  teacher  as  quick  as  he  could  go. 

"  Thomas,  do  you  know  who  put  those  fire-crackers 
in  my  desk  ? " 

"  Yes." 

"  Who  was  it  ?  " 

"  It  was  me." 

Tom  was  a  great  fighter  and  a  rowdy,  but  he  had 
a  capital  habit  of  telling  the  truth.  Sometimes  he 
would  n't  answer  questions  about  certain  neighborhood 
scrapes  ;  but  if  he  spoke  at  aU,  his  worst  enemy  would 
assure  you  that  it  was  certain  to  be  the  truth.     The 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  415 

master,  looldng  Tom  strong  in  the  face,  cried  out,  in 
fierce  tones,  — 

"  Thomas  Goodrich,  what  did  you  do  it  for  ? " 

Tom  looked  at  the  master  in  the  quiet  manner  of  a 
bull-dog,  and  answered,  — 

"  For  fun." 

"  Thomas,  take  off  your  coat.  I  '11  show  you  anotner 
kind  of  fun." 

Off  went  the  coat,  and  Tom  stood  still,  with  his  arms 
folded,  while  the  master  pulled  out  a  large  whip  from 
behind  a  seat. 

"  Thomas,  stand  here  and  put  up  your  arms." 

Tom  did  as  he  was  told,  and  down  came  the  whip. 

Tom  had  great  confidence  in  a  clinch.  In  that  he 
had  never  been  beaten.  The  girls  and  young  children 
screamed  and  fled,  but  the  large  boys  formed  a  ring 
around  the  combatants,  and  no  matter  which  was  on 
top,  the  boys  cried,  — 

"  Let  'em  alone ;  keep  your  hands  off ;  give  'em  fair 
play." 

For  some  minutes  the  result  seemed  doubtful.  The 
master  was  a  success  in  body-work,  but  in  face-work 
Tom  was  undeniably  the  better  man.  In  biting  and 
gouging  he  had  won  a  high  reputation.  The  antago- 
nists, after  some  minutes  of  struggling,  stopped  for 
breath,  and  the  master  contrived  to  extricate  himself 
and  get  on  his  feet.     He  gasped  out,  — 


416  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

"  Now  take  your  seats  !  I  '11  teach  you  to  put  fire- 
crackers in  my  desk." 

But  the  woful  condition  of  his  face  and  coat  made 
his  assumption  of  authority  and  superiority  too  ludi- 
crous ;  and  when  Tom,  without  a  scratch  on  his  face, 
stood  up  and  said,  in  his  quiet,  bull-dog  way,  "  If  you 
want  t'  other  eye  shet  up,  and  the  rest  of  your  clothes 
torn  off,  just  say  the  word,  and  I  '11  try  to  accommo- 
date ye,"  it  was  too  much  for  the  master,  and  he 
sneaked  away  to  his  boarding-place,  and  that  night 
disappeared.      He   never  came  back  for  his  month's 

pay- 
Charles  Clapp  was  our  next,  —  a  slight,  pale  young 
man.  He  began  with  a  little  speech,  in  which  he  said 
that  he  came  to  teach,  and  not  to  fight ;  that  just  as 
soon  as  he  could  not  get  on  without  beating  his  pupils, 
he  should  leave. 

The  district  had  a  reputation  as  being  the  hardest  in 
all  the  country ;  and  as  soon  as  the  new  teacher  had 
announced  that  in  no  case  should  he  whip  his  scholars, 
the  wise  ones  gave  him  three  to  five  days  to  stay  in  our 
schooL  The  irrepressible  Tom  came  to  the  front  again. 
His  success  with  the  last  teacher  had  made  a  lion  of 
him,  and  now,  as  it  was  agreed  all  round  that  Clapp 
could  not  stay  long,  Tom  was  determined  to  multiply 
his  honors.  Young  Clapp  had  studied  medicine,  and 
was  now  teaching  to  get  the  needed  funds  for  his  last 


FIVE-MINUTE  CEATS.  417 

course  of  lectures  and  diploma.  Tom  called  him  the 
young  quack,  and  the  pupils  generally  caught  it  up, 
and  the  master  was  spoken  of  among  the  scholars  as 
the  young  quack.  Then  Tom  put  four  ducks  into  that 
fruitful  desk ;  and  when  the  master  opened  it,  the 
creatures  began  the  cry  of  Quack,  quack,  quack!  to  the 
great  delight  of  the  pupils.  There  was  a  long  and  up- 
roarious laugh.  The  master  took  out  the  ducks  one 
after  another,  smoothed  their  backs  and  set  them  at 
liberty  at  the  door,  and  then,  joining  in  the  laugh, 
turned  to  his  work  as  if  nothing  had  happened.  But 
Tom  was  not  discouraged,  and  watched  for  another  op- 
portunity. It  was  not  long  wanting.  He  wrote  the 
word  "  quack  "  on  a  bit  of  paper ;  and,  making  a  hook 
with  a  pin,  he  contrived,  when  pretending  to  ask  the 
master's  assistance  about  a  sum,  to  hitch  it  to  his  coat- 
tail.  As  he  moved  about,  the  scholars  saw  it,  and  the 
amount  of  snickering  was  prodigious.  At  the  end  of 
the  first  week  things  looked  pretty  bad,  but  the  teacher 
kept  on  in  the  even  tenor  of  his  way,  doing  his  own 
part  of  the  school- work  promptly,  cheerfully,  and  well. 
Soon  the  larger  girls  and  boys,  whom  he  arranged  to 
give  three  lessons  in  history  each  week,  meeting  in  the 
evening  here  and  there  among  the  patrons  of  his 
school,  became  greatly  interested  in  the  new  master, 
and  before  long  it  became  evident  to  Mr.  Clapp  that  a 
new  current  had  begun  in  the  school.     In  a  month  it 

18* 


418  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

was  a  model  school ;  and  when  the  spring  came,  the 
trustees  responded  to  a  petition  signed  by  almost  every 
patron  of  the  school,  when  they  offered  to  double  the 
master's  salary  if  he  would  return  the  next  autumn ; 
but  he  had  made  up  his  mind  that  he  would  launch  his 
medical  bark. 

From  the  beginning  to  the  end  of  the  school  at  Lex- 
ington, the  policy  in  the  government  was  to  preoccupy 
the  minds  of  the  pupils.  A  pupil  who  is  interested  in 
her  studies  will  always  behave  well. 

ORAL  INSTRUCTION. 

The  conviction  is  growing  among  educators  that 
class-books  occupy  a  too  prominent  place  in  our  schools. 
The  idea  that  the  class-book  should  be  used  as  a  book 
of  reference,  and  not  kept  in  the  pupil's  hands  con- 
stantly, is  becoming  familiar  to  teachers.  This  was  our 
thought  at  Lexington,  and  had  much  influence  in  deter- 
mining the  character  of  the  instruction. 

For  many  years  I  had  been  lecturing  upon  physi- 
ology and  hygiene,  and  had  been  constantly  assured  by 
young  people  who  had  been  studying  the  subject  in 
school,  with  the  aid  of  a  class-book  and  a  teacher  to 
hear  them  recite  their  lessons,  that  a  half-hour's  lecture 
from  me  gave  them  clearer  notions  of  a  subject  than 
they  had  obtained  in  weeks  of  class-book  study  and 
recitation.     I  had  myself  passed  through  a  simQar  expe- 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  419 

rience  in  my  medical  studies.  Certain  professors  gave 
me  as  muck  as  I  could  fairly  grasp  and  make  my  own 
in  one  hour  as  I  could  get  from  the  books  in  a  week. 
A  part  of  this  is  without  doubt  the  fault  of  the  style 
of  the  class-books.  They  differ  widely  in  the  style  of 
composition  from  conversation  and  extempore  lectures. 
If  they  were  made  as  clear,  chatty,  and  familiar,  as  full 
of  illustration  and  anecdote,  as  our  conversations,  it 
would  greatly  enhance  their  practical  value  j  but  even 
then  they  would  lack  the  power  of  adaptation.  Almost 
every  class,  to  say  nothing  of  each  individual,  requires 
peculiar  treatment.  Only  the  living  teacher  is  capable 
of  this  adaptation  to  the  case  in  hand. 

The  drift  toward  specialisms  in  all  professions  and 
trades  is  one  of  the  fruits  of  a  ripening  civilization,  and 
in  no  profession  is  it  so  vital'  as  in  that  of  the  teacher. 
That  is  a  rare  person  who  can  teach  well  in  more  than 
one  department.  If  he  is  a  teacher  of  mathematics,  he 
must  be  a  very  large  man  if  he  will  bear  cutting  in  two 
to  give  one  half  to  the  languages.  Even  in  surgery  we 
find  one  man  devoting  his  whole  life  to  the  eye,  another 
to  the  ear,  another  to  the  nose,  and  another  to  the 
throat.  No  great  advancement  was  made  in  any  of 
these  until  the  specialists  divided  the  work ;  and  yet  in 
great  part  these  specialisms  involve  little  more  than 
mechanical  manipulation.  A  reaUy  successful  teacher 
in  moral  science  must  expend  more  intellectual  force 


420  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

than  all  these  medical  specialists  put  together.  A  suc- 
cessful teacher  of  history  must  be  a  person  of  more 
brains  than  a  surgeon  who  should  successfully  manage 
the  eye,  ear,  and  nose.  He  may  conduct  his  pupil 
through  the  stereotyped  events  of  chronology,  but  there 
is  about  as  much  history  in  such  a  service  as  there  is 
of  a  man  in  his  bony  skeleton. 

I  have  rarely  seen  anything  more  pitiful  than  one  of 
these  little  hundred-pound  dyspeptic-sick  graduates  of 
a  female  seminary  in  the  position  of  teacher.  She  has 
been  engaged  to  teach  algebra,  history,  natural  pliilos- 
ophy,  and  moral  science,  with  primary  instruction  in 
French  and  music.  Each  of  the  seventy-five  pupils 
who  recite  to  her  daily  has  a  class-book  with  questions 
and  answers.  She  —  poor  little  machine  !  filling  about 
one  third  of  a  teacher's  arm-chair — holds  the  class- 
book  in  her  hand,  and  watches  to  see  if  in  their  answers 
they  miss  a  word.  Perhaps  the  two  hundred  and  twen- 
ty dollars  a  year,  with  board  and  washing,  is  about  right 
for  such  services  ;  but  both  teaching  and  compensation 
challenge  our  pity. 

Under  such  conditions  as  I  have  related,  the  Lex- 
ington school  soon  became  a  vital  force  in  the  com- 
munity. Its  numbers  rapidly  increased ;  the  novel  and 
original  method  by  which  it  was  conducted  commend- 
ing itself  more  and  more  to  people  of  intelligence  and 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  431 

refinement.  Its  destruction  by  fire  was  felt  to  be  a 
public  calamity  by  all,  as  the  most  beneficial  results 
were  hoped  from  its  permanent  establishment  in  our 
midst. 


A  CURIOUS  LETTER. 

Fkans  Herman  Widstrand,  the  Swede,  ex-royal 
secretary,  becoming  disgusted  with  the  tyranny  of  a 
kingdom,  came  to  America  in  1855,  sought  and  found 
employment  in  the  Treasury  Department  at  Washing- 
ton, but  afterward  removed  to  the  northern  shore  of 
Lake  Constance,  Wright  County,  Minnesota,  where  he 
has  since  resided.  His  principal  occupation  is  writing 
for  newspapers  and  magazines,  which  he  does  in  five 
different  languages.  The  following  letter  from  this 
gentleman  to  the  Cincinnati  "  Commercial "  will  be 
read  with  interest :  — 

"  To  THE  Editor  Cincinnati  '  Commercial  ' :  —  I 
have  seen  quoted  from  your  pages  an  article  concerning 
Dr.  Dio  Lewis  and  cheap  food.  Cheap  properly  means 
obtained  with  little  labor.  Sometimes  one  will  for  little 
money  get  things  that  are  very  dear  to  the  producer,  re- 
quiring much  labor.  The  producer  of  wheat,  beef,  but- 
ter, etc.,  does  not  get  one  tenth  as  much  for  his  labor  as 
a  clerk  in  the  Departments  in  Washington ;  and  still 
clerks  complain  of  high  prices  of  such  things,  although 


422  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

their  labor  is  not  one  tenth  as  hard  as  a  farmer's.     I 
have  tried  both,  and  know  whereof  I  am  writing. 

"About  a  year  ago  there  was  an  article  in  '  Hunt's 
Monthly'  conceming  Indian  corn.  It  stated  that  it 
contains  more  than  four  times  as  much  oily  matter  as 
wheat-flour,  and  that  its  composition  makes  it  capa- 
ble of  alone  sustaining  man ;  that  one  pound  of  it, 
parched  or  made  into  bread,  is  more  than  equal  to  two 
pounds  of  fat  meat.  After  having  read  that,  I  con- 
cluded to  try  it.  Mixing  corn-meal  with  water,  I  put  it 
in  a  spider  and  baked  it  on  the  coals  in  the  parlor 
stove.  A  cake  seven  inches  in  diameter  and  one  inch 
thick  was  more  than  sufficient  for  a  meal.  Three 
times  a  week  for  weeks  I  ate  nothing  else,  did  not  long 
for  anything,  retained  my  weight,  and  was  never  sick. 
Com  boiled,  not  too  soft,  will  probably  do  as  well. 

"  Here  it  takes  about  ten  days'  work,  besides  fencing, 
for  an  acre  of  corn,  which  will  yield  fifty  bushels,  or 
about  one  hour's  work  to  produce  haK  a  bushel  of  com, 
which  is  more  than  sufficient  for  ten  days  for  one  per- 
son. At  the  present  price  in  money  (thirty  cents  per 
bushel),  it  will  cost  about  one  and  a  half  cents  per  day, 
—  about  five  dollars  per  year.  A  rational  person  will 
be  more  satisfied  on  that  than  on  the  fare  at  the  best 
hotels  in  Europe  or  America. 

"  So  much  for  the  staff  of  life.  From  one  eighth  of 
an  acre  of  ground  one  can  raise  all  the  garden-stuff  one 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  423 

wants,  including  five  bushels  of  strawberries,  apples, 
squash,  potatoes,  beans,  tomatoes,  carrots,  cauliflower, 
asparagus;  and  three  eighths  more  will  be  enough  to 
raise  the  corn,  —  half  an  acre  for  all  the  food  a  person 
needs  for  a  year.  This  requires  no  hard  labor.  One  can 
work  it  with  light  shoes  and  thin  clothing,  be  dressed 
like  a  true  gentleman,  and  have  no  hard  washing. 
When  the  weather  is  warm,  it  is  very  comfortable  and 
healthy  to  go  barefoot.  Clothing,  shoes,  bedclothes,  etc., 
need  not  cost  more  than  ten  dollars  per  year.  It  is  folly 
to  keep  any  animals.  The  Chinese  and  Japanese  know 
that.  Steam,  caloric,  wind,  water,  etc.,  can  do  their  work. 
A  very  comfortable  house,  large  enough  for  one  person, 
eight  by  twelve  feet,  can  be  built  here  for  less  than 
twenty  dollars.  Most  everybody  can  do  it  for  himself 
Land  costs  less  than  twenty-five  cents  an  acre  under 
the  Homestead  law.  So  we  need  no  agrarian  laws. 
Able-bodied  persons  do  not  need  to  steal  or  cheat  or  lie 
or  go  to  banking  or  dickering  to  make  a  decent  living. 
If  they  will  associate,  be  of  one  soul  and  one  mind,  and 
have  all  things  in  common,  as  the  first  Christians,  they 
can  soon  have  all  the  comforts  that  money  can  buy,  and 
many  which  they  cannot  obtain  for  money,  without 
the  infernal  antagonistic  competition  generally  prevail- 
ing, where  the  good  and  gentle  and  weak  succumb  to 
the  bad  and  strong,  where  not  more  than  one  out  of  a 
hundred  can  set  himself  to  work  properly  and  know 


424  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

how  to  make  a  living,  where  the  best  are  treated  badly 
and  prevented  from  doing  good  to  themselves  and  others, 
where  isolation  on  the  large  prairies  or  in  the  dense 
woods  is  almost  as  bad  as  the  crowding  in  large  cities. 
Political  economists  ought  to. study  the  economy  of  the 
Shakers,  Icarians,  Zoarites,  Perfectionists,  etc.,  etc.,  and 
may  then  be  able  to  get  an  answer  to  the  question  of 
the  abolition  of  misery,  suffering,  and  wrongs,  which 
ought  to  be  done  before  the  Fourth  of  July,  1876." 

The  above  very  curious  letter  I  publish  for  its  in- 
trinsic interest,  and  as  the  occasion  for  some  remarks 
upon  that  class  of  philosophers  of  which  Thoreau  is  an 
eminent  modern  representative,  and  of  which  this  dis- 
tinguished Swede  is  another. 

Obtaining  the  best  education  which  the  schools  can 
give,  using  freely  the  books,  magazines,  papers,  postal 
facilities,  pens,  paper,  clothes,  crockery,  money,  and  fifty 
other  things  which  the  combined  industries  of  the  world 
have  created,  this  sort  of  philosopher  abandons  every 
obligation  to  children,  to  society,  to  the  State,  refuses  to 
return  anything  to  that  civilization  which  has  done  so 
much  for  him,  abandons  the  poor  and  helpless,  and 
crawls  away  into  a  cabin  in  the  Concord  woods  or  out 
upon  a  prairie,  and  spends  his  life  whining  and  scolding 
over  the  evils  of  civilization.  I  know  what  has  been 
said  in  defence  of  this  eccentricity,  but  to  a  liealthy, 
brave  soul  it  must  ever  seem  puerile  and  cowardly. 


FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS.  425 

Mr.  Widstrand  talks  of  living  on  five  dollars  a  year ; 
but  if  he  thinks  such  an  economy  pays  for  living  alone, 
away  from  society,  I  can  suggest  something  better. 
Let  him  go  to  the  pine  forests  of  Chili,  in  South  Amer- 
ica, where  he  can  live  splendidly  on  the  cones  of  the 
pine,  without  the  cost  of  a  penny  or  an  hour's  work  in 
a  year.  All  he  has  to  do  is  to  pick  them  up  and  eat 
them ;  and  the  climate  in  some  parts  is  such  that  he 
can  live  the  year  round  without  clothes  or  a  house. 
Mr.  Widstrand's  five  dollars  for  food,  ten  dollars  for 
clothes,  and  twenty  dollars  for  a  house,  is  a  wild,  reck- 
less extravagance. 

To  live  plainly  is  a  source  of  health,  and  therefore  a 
duty;  but  to  live  cheaply  for  the  sake  of  squeezing 
one's  self  into  the  smallest  possible  corner  in  the  world, 
is  despicably  mean. 

To  come  out  of  a  university  laden  with  the  world's 
best  riches,  and  then  sneak  away  into  a  box  on  the 
northern  shore  of  Lake  Constance,  where  he  hears  no 
sound  save  that  made  by  the  wings  of  wild  ducks, 
may  tickle  Mr.  Widstrand's  conceit,  but  I  regard  him 
as  a  selfish,  narrow-minded,  ungrateful,  silly  egotist. 

And  it  may  be  here  remarked  that  all  the  growling 
and  groaning  over  this  bad  world  may  show  a  clear 
moral  vision,  but  it  certainly  does  not  show  a  brave 
soul.  Those  who  have  made  up  their  minds  to  con- 
tribute something  to  the  world's  welfare  spend  very 


»*>r 


426  FIVE-MINUTE  CHATS. 

little  time  in  whining  over  the  world.  They  have  some- 
thing else  to  do.  When  you  hear  a  man  exclaim,  "  O 
the  selfishness  of  men  ! "  "  Virtue  has  departed ! " 
"  Every  man  has  his  price ! "  while  he  is  doing  nothing 
to  help  his  fellows,  you  may  not  doubt  his  good  pur- 
poses, but  you  may  set  him  down  as  weak  and  cowardly. 
Whining  and  scolding  are  not  the  language  of  sym- 
pathy, hope,  and  courage. 


THE  END. 


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Illustrated.    Svo,  Cloth,  $5  00. 

ABBOTT'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  FRENCH  REVOLUTION.    The  French 

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ABBOTT'S  NAPOLEON  BONAPARTE.    The  History  of  Napoleon  Bona- 
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ALCOCK'S  JAPAN.  The  Capital  of  the  Tycoon :  a  Narrative  of  a  Threa 
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Skooni)  Sbhies:  From  the"  Fall  of  Napoleon,  in  1S15,  to  the  Accession  of 
Louis  Napoleon,  in  1852.    8  vols.,  8vo,  Cloth,  $16  00. 

BARTH'S  NORTH  AND  CENTRAL  AFRICA.  Travels  and  Discoveries  in 
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HEMBr  Babtu,  Ph.D.,  D.C.L.    Illustrated.    3  vols.,  8vo,  Cloth,  $12  00. 

HENRY  WARD  BEECHER'S  SERMONS.  Sermons  by  Henry  Ward 
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LYMAN  BEECHER'S  AUTOBIOGRAPHY,  «fcc.  Autobiography,  Corres- 
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vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $5  00. 

BOSWELL'S  JOHNSON.  The  Life  of  Samuel  Johnson,  LL.D.  Including 
a  Journey  to  the  Hebrides.  By  Ja.me8  Boswell,  Esq.  A  New  Edition, 
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ry of  the  Intellectual  Development  of  Europe.  By  John  W.  Draper, 
M.D.,  LL.D.,  Professor  of  Chemistry  and  Physiology  in  the  University 
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DRAPEK'S  AMERIvJAN  CIVIL  POLICY.  Thoughts  on  the  Future  Civil 
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Cloth,  $2  50. 

DU  CHAILLU'S  AFRICA.  Explorations  and  Adventures  in  Equatorial  Af- 
rica, with  Accounts  of  the  Mannere  and  Customs  of  the  People,  and  of 
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DU  CHAILLU'S  ASHANGO  LAND.  A  Journey  to  Ashango  Land:  and 
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New  Edition.     Handsomely  Illustrated.    Svo,  Cloth,  $5  00. 

BELLOWS'S  OLD  WORLD.  The  Old  World  in  its  New  Face :  Impressions 
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BRODHEAD'S  HISTORY  OF  NEW  YORK.  History  of  the  State  of  New 
York.  By  John  Rojietn  Brodhkad.  1609-1691.  2  vols.  Svo,  Cloth, 
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BROUGHAM'S  AUTOBIOGRAPHY.  Life  and  Times  of  Henbt,  Lobb 
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^ULWER'S  PROSE  WORKS.  Miscellaneous  Prose  Works  of  Edward  Bnl- 
wer.  Lord  Lyttoii.    2  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  ^  00. 


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BULWER'S  HORACE.  The  Odes  and  Epodes  of  Horace.  A  Metrical 
Translation  into  English.  With  Introduction  and  Commentaries.  By 
LoRP  Lytton.  With  Latin  Text  from  the  Editions  of  Orelli,  Macleane, 
and  Youge.    12mo,  Cloth,  $1  T5. 

BULWER'S  KING  ARTHUR,    A  Poem.    By  Lobd  Lytton.    New  Edition. 

12mo,  Cloth,  $1  75. 

BURNS'S  LIFE  AND  WORKS.  The  Life  and  Works  of  Robert  Bums, 
Edited  by  Robeut  Cuambees.    4  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $6  00. 

REINDEER,  DOGS,  AND  SNOW-SHOES.  A  Journal  of  Siberian  Travel 
and  Explorations  made  in  the  Yeais  1865-'67.  By  Riohabd  J.  Bush,  late 
of  the  Russo-American  Telegraph  Expedition.  Illustrated.  CrovraSvo, 
Cloth,  $3  00. 

CARLYLE'S  FREDERICK  THE  GREAT.  History  of  Priedrich  IL,  called 
Frederick  the  Great.  By  Thomas  Cablyle.  Portraits,  Maps,  Plans, 
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CARLYLE'S  FRENCH  REVOLUTION.  History  of  the  French  Revolution. 
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CARLYLE'S  OLIVER  CROMWELL.  Letters  and  Speeches  of  Oliver 
Cromwell.  With  Elucidations  and  Connecting  Narrative.  2  vols.,  12mo, 
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CHALMERS'S  POSTHUMOUS  WORKS.  The  Posthumous  Works  of  Dr. 
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Complete  in  9  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $13  50. 

COLERIDGE'S  COMPLETE  WORKS.  The  Complete  Works  of  Samuel 
Taylor  Coleridge.  With  an  Introductory  Essay  upon  his  Philosophical 
and  Theological  Opinions.  Edited  by  Professor  Shedd.  Complete  in 
Seven  Vols.    With  a  Portrait.    Small  8vo,  Cloth,  $10  50. 

DOOLITTLE'S  CHINA.  Social  Life  of  the  Chinese :  with  some  Account  of 
their  Religious,  Governmental,  Educational,  and  Business  Customs  and 
Opinions.  With  special  but  not  exclusive  Reference  to  Fuhchan.  By 
Rev.  Justus  Doolitti.e,  Fourteen  Years  Member  of  the  Fuhchan  Mis- 
sion of  the  American  Board.  Illustrated  with  more  that  150  character- 
istic Engravings  on  Wood.    2  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $6  00. 

GIBBON'S  ROME.  History  of  the  Decline  and  Fall  of  the  Roman  Empire. 
By  Edward  Gibbon.  With  Notes  by  Rev.  H.  H.  Mit.man  and  M.  Gitizot, 
A  neve  cheap  Edition.  To  which  is  added  a  complete  Index  of  the  whole 
Work,  and  a  Portrait  of  the  Author.    6  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $9  00. 

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Life  at  Versailles.  By  Brevet  Major-General  W.  B.  Hazen,  U.S.A.,  Col- 
onel Sixth  Infantry.    Crown  8vo,  Cloth,  $2  50. 

HARPER'S  NEW  CLASSICAL  LIBRARY.    Literal  Translations. 
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C^KSAB.  — ViEOlL. —  SaiXUST. —  HOBAOE. —  ClOEBO's    ObATIONS.— ClOEBO's 

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Homek's  Odyssey.  —  Heeodotus.  — Demosthenes.  — Thucydidbs.  — 
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DAVIS'S  CARTHAGE.  Carthage  and  her  Remains:  being  an  Account  of 
the  Excavations  and  Researches  on  the  Site  of  the  Phoenician  Metropo- 
lis in  Africa  and  other  adjacent  Places.  Conducted  under  the  Auspices 
of  Her  Majesty's  Government.  By  Dr.  Davis,  F.R.G.S.  Profusely  Illus- 
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HELPS'S  SPANISH  CONQUEST.  The  Spanish  Conquest  In  America,  and 
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200  Portraits.    8vo,  Cloth,  $5  oa 

HALL'S  ARCTIC  RESEARCHES.  Arctic  Researches  and  Life  among  the 
Esquimaux :  being  the  Narrative  of  an  Ex|)edition  in  Search  of  Sir  John 
Franklin,  in  the  Years  1860, 1S61,  and  18C2.  By  Cuarles  Francis  Halu 
With  Maps  and  100  Illustrations.  The  Illustrations  are  from  the  Origi- 
nal Drawings  by  Charles  Parsons,  Henry  L.  Stephens,  Solomon  Eytlnge, 
W.  S.  L.  Jewett,  and  Granville  Perkins,  after  Sketches  by  Captain  Hall. 
8vo,  Cloth,  $5  00. 

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cession of  Henry  VII.  to  the  Death  of  George  II.    8vo,  Clotn,  $2  00. 

HALLAM'S  LITERATURE.  Introduction  to  the  Literature  of  Europe  dur- 
ing the  Fifteenth,  Sixteenth,  and  Seventeenth  Centuries.  By  Hknbv 
Hallam.    2  vols.,  8vo,  Cloth,  $4  00. 

HALLAM'S  MIDDLE  AGES.  State  of  Europe  during  the  Middle  Ages. 
By  Hkney  Hallam.    8vo,  Cloth,  $2  00. 

HILDRETH'S  HISTORY  OF  THE  UNITED  STATES.  First  Seribb: 
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Constitntiou.  Seoonr  Sebiks  :  From  the  Adoption  of  the  Federal  Con- 
stitution to  the  End  of  the  Sixteenth  Congress.  6  vols.,  8vo,  Cloth, 
$18  00. 

HUME'S  HISTORY  OF  ENGLAND.  History  of  England,  from  the  Inva- 
sion of  Julius  Caesar  to  the  Abdication  of  James  II.,  1688.  By  David 
Hume.  A  new  Edition,  with  the  Author's  last  Corrections  and  Improve- 
ments. To  which  is  Prefixed  a  short  Account  of  his  Life,  written  by 
Himself.    With  a  Portrait  of  the  Author.    6  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $9  00. 

JAY'S  WORKS.  Complete  Works  of  Rev.  William  Jay :  comprising  his 
Sermons,  Family  Discourses,  Morning  and  Evening  Exercises  for  every 
Day  in  the  Year,  Family  Prayers,  &c  Author's  enlarged  Edition,  re- 
vised.    3  vols.,  8vo,  Cloth,  $6  00. 

JEFFERSON'S  DOMESTIC  LIFE.  The  Domestic  Life  of  Thomas  Jeffer- 
son: compiled  from  Familv  Letters  and  Reminiscences,  by  his  Great- 
Granddaughter,  Sarau  N.  Randolph.  With  Illustrations.  Crown  8vo, 
Illuminated  Cloth,  Beveled  Edges,  $2  50. 

JOHNSON'S  COMPLETE  WORKS.  The  Works  of  Samuel  Johnson,  LL.D. 
With  an  Essay  on  his  Life  and  Genius,  by  Abthub  Mubpht,  Esq.  Por- 
trait of  Johnson.    2  vols.,  8vo,  Cloth,  $1  00. 

KINGLAKE'S  CRIMEAN  WAR.  The  Invasion  of  the  Crimea,  and  an  Ac- 
count of  its  Progress  down  to  the  Death  of  Lord  Raglan.  By  Albxan- 
t)BR  William  Kinolake.  With  Maps  and  Plans.  Two  Vols,  ready. 
12mo,  Cloth,  $2  00  per  vol. 

KINGSLEY'S  WEST  INDIES.  At  Last:  A  Christmas  in  the  West  Indies. 
By  Chables  Kingslev.    Illustrated.    12mo,  Cloth,  $1  60. 

KRUMMACHER'S  DAVID,  KING  OF  ISRAEL.  David,  the  King  of  Isra- 
el :  a  Portrait  drawn  from  Bible  History  and  the  Book  of  Psalms.  By 
Frederick  William  KRUMMAonER,  D.D.,  Author  of  "Elijah  the  Tish- 
bite,"  &C.  Translated  uuder  the  express  Sanction  of  the  Author  by  the 
Rev.  M.  G.  Easton,  M.  A.  With  a  letter  from  Dr.  Krummacher  to  his 
American  Readers,  and  a  Portrait.    12mo,  Cloth,  $1  75. 

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garth, &c,  and  a  Sketch  of  his  Life,  with  the  Final  Memorials,  by  T.  Noon 
TALrouxn.    Portrait.    2  vols.,  12mo,  Cloth,  $3  00. 


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